London Calling Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Not Mine

A/N – this is a little long – I had initially ended it after the elevator scene but my beta was disappointed so I headed back to the shower… This is for you Jen.

JJ smiled as she looked over at Emily taking measured breaths. "Are you nervous?"

Emily, not realizing what she'd been doing, abruptly stopped. "What, no."

"I'd be nervous." JJ told her. "I mean it is Pen we're talking about."

Emily let out a rush of air. "Crap. She got a stripper, didn't she? I don't want some strange guy gyrating around me and putting his junk in my face."

"Right, that's Derek job." JJ snorted.

"Shut up." Emily laughed. "I'm trying to be serious here. Nor do I want someone bumping and grinding on my mother or Derek's mother." She shivered at the mental picture and again questioned her ready acceptance of allowing Penelope to throw her a bachelorette party.

JJ just shook her head. "You worry too much. I'm sure this is going to be a tasteful…" She broke off when the caterer passed by carrying a cake that resembled an erect penis.

"Please tell me that was a rocket ship."

"If it's chocolate I'm going to guess that is USS Morgan." JJ quipped. "I'm going to guess that's not an exact replica but who knows? This is Pen so it's possible she had the baker working from a picture." She turned to Emily. "Does he manscape?"

"You are being very little help."

"If it helps I've managed to convince myself that I do not want any cake tonight."

"Are you kidding me? That is chocolate decadence filled with dark chocolate mousse. It is absolutely delish." Penelope announced, having only heard JJ's last comment.

"Is it shaped like…?"

"A big honking penis? You bet it is!" Penelope grinned. "This is a party!"

"And nothing says party like big honking penis." JJ intoned, earning her a glare from Emily and an 'exactly' from Pen.

"Hey, uh, Pen, you're not having any exotic dancers are you?" Emily asked.

"Oh, baby doll, I am not giving you any clues. Just relax and enjoy the party, okay?" She smiled and excused herself to go check on the entertainment.

"I probably should have just eloped." Emily whined.

"Bite your tongue!" Her mother exclaimed having just come over to say hello. "I would have been so disappointed. I know that Fran would feel the same way." She looked around the room. "And you would have missed all of this. That Penelope Garcia is something else." She giggled and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Did you see the cake?"

Emily groaned, "God, I wish I could have gone with Derek to Hotch's. They're probably sitting around playing poker and sipping scotch."

JJ looked at her in surprise. "I'm not sure how they could be when Rossi's limo picked them up an hour ago to head downtown." She wished she would have kept that little gem to herself when Emily's eyes narrowed speculatively.

"That is not what Derek said that he would be doing."

JJ shrugged. "Maybe he didn't know." She offered.

"Right. He didn't know that David Rossi was going to plan one last night of debauchery. I find that hard to believe."

"Debauchery?" JJ chuckled. "What is it you think they're going to do exactly?"

"That's the point." Emily huffed. "With Rossi in charge who knows what kind of stupidity they'll get into."

"She does have a point." Erin Strauss commented, having walked up just as Emily was venting.

"Please don't encourage her." JJ pleaded before turning her attention to Emily. "You just need to relax they have Hotch and Reid with them to keep them out of trouble."

"Hey, honey." Hotch's tone had JJ moving out of the crowded room.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"We ran into a little bit of a problem."

"What kind of a problem, Aaron?"

"One that we'll probably laugh about in a few years but really isn't all that funny now." He forewarned.

"Okay, spill it."

"Reid has been arrested."

Her first thought was he must be joking but she knew that he wouldn't joke about something like that. "What happened?"

"We were at a strip club."

"Uh huh."

"Reid was at the bar chatting with a patron. He thought they were just chatting, she was actually working. He inadvertently asked her how much she made. She was undercover and charged him with solicitation."

JJ let out a sigh. "Why weren't you guys watching him? Or don't I want to know?"

"Rossi bought the groom a lap dance. We were enjoying his discomfort." He sheepishly admitted. "We tried to talk to the arresting officer but she won't let it go, we tried to explain that Reid was purely enquiring on a scientific level, not personal but she's tickled that she has a Federal agent on the hook."

"And the prosecutor?"

"Is a jealous dick that had the misfortune of coming in second to me all through law school." Hotch growled. "He won't listen to reason either. He thinks we're just looking for favoritism."

"Give me their names." She quickly wrote down the information. "Where are you?" She leaned out and gestured for Garcia. "I'm on my way; don't do anything stupid before I get there. I don't want to have to rescue all four of you."

"Where do you think you're going, missy?" Garcia hissed having heard the last part of her conversation.

JJ thrust the pair of names at her. "I need everything you have on the officer and prosecutor that I've just handed you. Reid asked the wrong person a stupid question and she thinks she's got a big catch."

"Oh no."

"Exactly." JJ responded. "And I need you to make sure that Em doesn't find out what's going on."

"What am I supposed to tell her?" Garcia whined, "You know that I fold under pressure and you know that she can weasel just about anything out of me."

"Stay strong, Pen." JJ squeezed her arm as she fled the party.

He was waiting for her as she pulled into the precinct.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she stepped from the vehicle.

"Aside from being pissed off?"

"Yeah," She smiled as she reached him, "Aside from that." She leaned up and placed what she hoped was a soothing kiss against his mouth.

"You shouldn't have needed to come down here. This is complete bullshit."

"I'm going to need you to tone that down." JJ reached up and wiped her lipstick from his mouth. "I've got this."

"Officer Jackson thinks this collar is going to escalate her to the next level, she refuses to listen to reason."

"I'm not going to talk to her. I want to talk to the prosecuting attorney." She turned towards the courthouse. Penelope was able to confirm to her that the skunk was still in his office.

"You're going to need…"

"Aaron," JJ interrupted, "I got this." She reiterated. "I need you to trust me to do my job." She watched as he blew out a breath. "Do you trust me?"

"I called you, didn't I?" He grumbled.

She grinned at him. "Yes you did." She put a little swing in her step for his benefit. "I'll have this corrected momentarily Agent Hotchner." She called over her shoulder.

"You might want to wipe your chin." Rossi said, coming up beside him.

"You might want to elevate your eyes. I saw where you were looking."

Rossi chuckled. "You're not going to follow her? Allen is a sleezeball."

"Takes one to know one." Hotch muttered as he watched JJ slip into the building across the way. As the door closed behind her he fell into step. "I'm going to follow her but only because I want to watch her chew him up and spit him out."

"Where are we going?" Morgan asked as he joined the pair. "That douche isn't going to listen to anything we say, Hotch already tried talking to him."

"That's why Aaron called his girlfriend." Rossi intoned.

"JJ's coming?" Derek asked, looking around for any sight of the blonde.

"JJ's here." Rossi advised him. "She is on the way to the lion's den as we speak, which is why we're following her."

"Sweet."

JJ found the office that she was looking for with relative ease. "ADA Allen?"

"Can I help you?" The man replied without bothering to look up.

"You have one of my men currently awaiting arraignment for solicitation."

That got his attention. "You are?"

"My name is Jennifer Jareau. I am the BAU liaison with the DoJ."

"Your man solicited an undercover officer, Agent Jareau."

"Have you spoken to the individual in question?" JJ challenged, knowing for a fact that he had not.

"I don't need to speak to him, I spoke with the officer."

"Dr. Reid did not solicit your officer. He was conducting a conversation and asked a question, there was never any intent behind the question. Had you spent a minute with him you would have realized that, in fact, I am certain that your officer did realize that but felt the prize of collaring an FBI agent outweighed all else."

"I don't like what you're implying Agent Jareau."

"Unless Dr. Reid is released and issued an apology immediately you're not going to like a lot of what I'm going to say."

The man sat back in his chair and tented his fingers. "That's not going to happen."

"Okay. My next call is going to be to the FBI director, he'll be contacting your superior. I'll make sure that he is aware that you never once spoke to Dr. Reid, nor did you even bother to look at his record or reach out to his superiors."

"He was arrested in the presence of his superior."

"Correct, Agent Hotchner, who I believe you have some history with?"

"That is irrelevant." Obviously it wasn't by the flush on his face.

"I sincerely hope so. I would hate to think you let past prejudices cloud your judgment." She didn't give him an opportunity to respond. "I will also be calling into question every arrest that Officer Jackson has made because I think maybe you need to make sure your officer understands the difference between solicitation and entrapment. My technical analyst found that there are four pending suits against the officer in question."

"I…"

JJ didn't give him an opportunity to interrupt. "You should know that there is no such question regarding the character of Dr. Reid. He is above reproach. This is an unfortunate incident that you have the opportunity to correct but that window of opportunity is closing rapidly."

"I just can't arbitrarily release a suspect based on your say so." Allen argued.

"Fine." JJ pulled out her phone. "I'm sure that the Director will be more than happy to provide the sufficient leverage to facilitate the release of Dr. Reid."

"I don't like being blackmailed, Agent Jareau."

"I don't like pissing matches, ADA Allen." JJ calmly replied. "I know from paperwork my TA uncovered that you also question the validity of some of your officers arrests. Had it been anyone other than SSA Hotchner that came to you to seek Dr. Reid's release you would have been more reasonable. I don't like games either and I've lost any patience that I had. Consider my courtesy call at an end." She turned to stride away when he called her back.

"You made your point." He picked up the phone and made a quick call to the precinct ordering Reid's immediate release. He hung the phone up and smiled up at JJ. "I'll be sure to have Officer Jackson follow up with an official apology. In the meantime maybe you and I could go somewhere for a drink, part of my official apology to you."

"Oh, no," She declined, "I think Aaron might have a problem with that." JJ stated.

His irritation was immediate. "I'm not sure why it would be any of his concern who you have a drink with. You don't report to him."

"We have a pretty solid agreement not to date outside our relationship."

"You're dating that tool?" He gave her a once over. "You realize you could do better."

She laughed in his face. "Oh ADA Allen, here I thought we were going to end this episode on good terms and you had to go and insult the man I'm going to marry."

"You and JJ are getting married?" Rossi's voice could be heard in the hallway followed by, "Damn man, you don't waste any time do you?" Derek commented.

"If you'll excuse me," JJ said, turning back to the door, "It appears Larry, Curly and Moe followed me here." She stepped out into the hall to find her audience her eyes focused on the tall one in the middle. "I told you that I was more than capable of mmmphf…" She couldn't say more as his mouth was fused to hers.

"Jeez, he sure is demonstrative all of a sudden." Rossi remarked to Morgan.

"She's a little bit of a fire cracker. I think my boy likes that."

"I think it was the branding that did it. He liked hearing that she wants to marry him."

"It was very romantic." Derek stated. "Much like the impulsive kiss."

"Oh yeah, she liked that."

JJ stepped back, licked her lips and straightened her blouse. "Seriously, you're all a bunch of idiots."

"Honey." Hotch began.

"Don't honey me I'm still mad." JJ huffed, heading towards the elevators.

"She can't be too mad the way she kissed you back." Rossi helpfully pointed out.

"I'm going next door to retrieve Spence then I'm going back to my party where hopefully my absence hasn't been noted." She spun around and glared at Rossi. "I hope that I can trust you to make sure these two make it home safe and sound."

"Well I sure wouldn't want to piss you off any more than you already are." He grinned. "It's because you're embarrassed, you didn't expect that Aaron would overhear your little comment about the man you're going to marry." His smile widened when she blushed. "Oh Bella, you have to know how happy that made him. Poor schmuck."

"I'm not embarrassed. I'm angry." She mumbled unconvincingly. "You followed me when I clearly stated that I had it under control. I know how to do my job." She stepped into the elevator and quickly pressed the down button leveling a glare at Hotch.

Hotch waited half a second and stepped on just as the doors closed. "You know," he stated, studying her closely, "Rossi is right." He moved closer to her. "I am pretty damn happy."

"I didn't know you were in the hallway." She blurted out.

"So you didn't mean it?" They both knew what he was referring to.

"Obviously I've thought about it, but we haven't really talked about it." She stared intently at the floor.

He smiled at her, glad that she admitted that she had thought of marrying him. "I got you to concede that maybe someday you'd have my baby, I figured you already knew me well enough to know that I'd want the whole deal with you."

"We're going a little fast." She said, breathlessly, her heart pounding furiously.

"So what, are you saying you want to slow down?" He fretted, half dreading her response. He was honestly a little nauseous over the fact she wouldn't meet his eyes.

She finally glanced up at him and felt immediately guilty over the worry in his eyes. "I hardly think that's an option." She was biting her lip nervously, a habit he found incredibly endearing. "I am absolutely, madly, in love with you." She was in his arms before the elevator door opened and still ensconced in them when it closed moments later.

"Are you two planning on riding the elevator and necking all night?" Rossi teased, when the elevator opened on the floor where they'd left him and Morgan standing.

"Hey, I don't want to alarm you or anything but Emily is looking for you. Something about gyrating junk and you promising her that you wouldn't abandon her." Morgan warned her as they stepped into the elevator. "She is not happy."

"Wait till I tell her Rossi bought you a lap dance."

The shower was all over by the time JJ made it back, only Emily and Pen were left. JJ found them eating chocolate cake.

"You know that's going to keep Baby Girl Morgan up all night." JJ commented as she snagged a piece for herself.

"Oh look," Emily said to Pen, "It's my best friend, JJ, deciding to make a re-appearance. Was she here when I needed her? When the Village People were all shaking their bits and pieces in my face and dirty dancing with my mother?"

"Please tell me you have this recorded." JJ whispered to Pen. To Emily she questioned. "Village People?"

Emily shuddered. "I don't know; there was a fireman, policeman, maybe a cowboy, and they were all trying to slither up me." She shot JJ a faux angry look. "So, did you get Pretty Boy out of the pokey?"

"You really need to work on your secret keeping abilities, Pen." JJ grumbled, as she took a bite of the cake.

Penelope only shrugged. "Hey, I warned you, I can only do so much. How is boy wonder?"

"He's fine. He was putting on a magic show when we sprung him." She smiled remembering the groans of his fellow detainees. "So," She turned back to Emily. "What kind of loot did you get?"

"Did you know that this was a themed shower?" Emily asked her, suddenly indignant once again.

JJ turned to look at Pen. "It was?"

Garcia shook her head. "No, I swear it was all a coincidence."

"You should have seen the stuff I got – gels, lotions, toys. We're good in that department, we don't need any gimmicks."

"Experimentation never hurt anyone." Penelope offered with a shrug.

"Some of that stuff was questionable." Emily responded.

"Her mother got her the slinkiest little outfit I've ever seen and a pair of plush handcuffs." Penelope shared.

"The ambassador?" JJ snorted. "You did remind her that you and Derek both had your own, right?"

"Sure that was a conversation I want to have with my mom and soon to be mother in law."

"She was rather prudish in front of the 'rents." Penelope confirmed.

"I wasn't being a prude, but seriously, if I were to sew together all the lingerie I got I might have one article of clothing that might cover my ass." Emily noted.

"It's possible you might be missing the point of lingerie." JJ informed her. "Never underestimate the power of a bustier and garter." She sighed, remembering her first attempted seduction. "Oh and don't forget the stilettos." Sure it hadn't exactly gone as planned but Hotch definitely appreciated the effort she took.

"You've got a glazed look there missy." Penelope pointed out. "Where did you leave the boys after you rescued them?"

"I don't know if I'd say she rescued us." Morgan answered, making his way over to Emily.

"Of course she did." Hotch commented as he made his way into the room making a beeline for JJ. "She's the one that convinced Allen to see reason and release Reid."

Morgan snorted. "I still say Allen was more impressed by her assets. He thought he could play nice and make a love connection. Only he got shot down."

"Oh, you got hit on?" Emily asked, all interested.

"Yeah, you weren't the only one that had to deal with slithery men tonight." That comment had Morgan's head swinging around.

"Excuse me?"

"Please, you had a lap dance." Emily shot back.

"JJ!" Derek growled.

"What?" JJ stared back at him. "I didn't say anything."

"Rossi may have sent me a video that I may have shown Emily." Garcia confessed easily. Then, in an attempt to take the heat off of her, she quickly added, "He also may have mentioned that we might be planning another BAU wedding in the near future."

"He's going for number four? Wow. He's going to marry Strauss?" Emily surmised at the same time JJ groaned.

"Seriously, he has a big mouth."

"What am I missing?" Emily asked as all eyes were aimed at JJ. "Oh." She said, disappointed. "You mean you two?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" JJ growled.

"Well, it's not like that's news or anything." Emily pointed out. "I think it's a forgone conclusion that you two will end up married."

Hotch smiled at the insight and shared, "She thought she was the only one that thought that."

"You are so adorable, Peaches." Penelope sighed.

"She is cute, isn't she?" Emily chuckled.

"In all fairness to JJ she has proven marriage resistant in the past. We could be a little surprised." Morgan stated.

"You were surprised." Hotch reminded him of his reaction earlier in the evening.

"I was surprised that you moved so fast, not that it was happening. I've known for months that you were in love with her. In fact, I knew before she knew."

"Well I'm glad you all knew," JJ told them, "That way when Aaron and I show up married one day you won't be surprised."

Penelope gasped. "You'd get married without us?"

"I think I'd like to get married on the beach, with the sun setting." JJ continued, snuggling into Hotch's side, sighing as she pictured the event.

"And where am I?" Pen asked, "Holding your flowers? Crying as the hot sand bakes my tootsies?"

JJ giggled at that image. "Would you really be offended if we just had a small, private ceremony, Pen?"

"Ugh. Yes!"

"As much as I love all of you, I don't want a big to do. I really just want it to be the two of us."

"And the boys." Hotch added, finally speaking up.

"And the boys." JJ agreed, turning to place a light kiss on his lips.

"I think she's serious." Penelope stated, bereft at the thought.

"You know, Pen," JJ stated, "You could always worry about your own wedding."

"I get to plan that shower." Emily announced, looking at Pen intently. "Boy do I have some great ideas for a cake."

Thanks for reading! Also, thanks for the reviews and follows!