A COLD MANIPULATIVE WILL WITH OUT CARE

Gabrielle grabbed the robe which was on the chair next to the bed it wasn't hers it was Xena's but at this point she didn't care. She pulled herself up in to a sitting position putting on the larger robe as she felt her toes touch the cold floor. It was early in the morning and she'd had been asleep for so long now all she could think about was food and drink since she'd opened her eyes a few minutes ago. She stood slowly ignoring her aching muscles she really wanted to get a bath her hair was a mess and her body felt sticky. She opened the robe slightly looking at the scar on her chest which was faded and white it would soon disappear. She put a hand on her skin there was still pain though she could feel it when ever she breathed in though it wasn't nearly as painful as it had been yesterday. She closed her robe as she ran a hand through her messy blonde hair then eased herself painfully to her feet moving towards the table she sat down on the chair opposite the bed leaning back in it ignoring the numbness in her body as she started to stretch her legs very slowly and carefully enjoying the feeling of movement in them it felt like so long since she'd moved. She closed her eyes for a spit second feeling the cold air that was blowing in from the balcony.

She took hold of the symbol of her goddess by Ouroboros she was so happy to get out of bed at long last even if her chest did still hurt the cold air was refreshing and cooling as was feeling of the warm soft robe around her body. She eased up the collar breathing in the smell which was rich with jasmine and other sweet smelling oils. It was the smell of Xena's hair no doubt from the soup she used when bathing. It was such a pleasant smell and she had smelt it so often on her beautiful body during their close moments she'd become so used to it. She opened her eyes letting go of the robe's collar she really needed to stop this! Why couldn't she stop falling for this woman? Why couldn't she just ignore the sexual side and keep her head straight? She knew why because as much as she wanted to deny it as much as she had tried to fight it over these past months she did have sexual feelings for this woman. Feelings she didn't want to have and couldn't deny, but she couldn't give in to these feelings because of past memories which haunted her so. The androphonomania massacre remained in her mind as clear as day and she hated Adrienne all the more for mentioning it. It was the reason that even if Xena did love her as Thaleia said she would never want her if she knew the truth which was that she was to blame for all of it.

Who could love a killer and murder of innocents? Who could forgive those kinds of sins? She breathed in putting a hand on her face she could remember the illusion now where she'd met her other self and could remember what she'd said as well. "When you love you some one you forgive them and help them to forgive themselves." She tensed sharply as if Xena would ever forgive her for what she'd done. She hated messed up visions and she still didn't get that one, her counterpart had been Xena's lover well lucky her it wasn't like she'd ever be in that same position. Also why bring up soul mates she'd never believed in that concept ether it was to far fetched. She lowered her gaze sadly she realized now that she only had one choice and that was to tell Xena the truth before she found out for herself it would destroy the friendship they had and she didn't want to loose that. She had kept this back for so long, she'd never told anyone about it, but then she'd never told anyone about her son. Yet now someone knew so much about her and despite that she didn't want to not tell her any off this, something was pushing her to do so. Maybe it was what her counterpart had said or maybe it was because she wanted to take a leap of faith because she could no longer keep this to herself. She knew it was destroying her and the only person she could tell was Xena because she had become so close to her, yet to bring the words forth felt like agony.

"It wonderful to see that you're up and walking around again."

Gabrielle turned sharply catching sight of the taller dark haired woman who was standing behind her the surprise in her eyes in her light blue eyes. She lowered her gaze to the floor. "I didn't want to stay in bed any longer." She eyed the sleeve of the robe. "Your robe was all I could find to wear." Xena moved forward so she was standing in front of her she had not expected her to get up or even be walking around, not yet at least clearly she'd healed a lot over night. She put a hand on her head feeling no heat clearly the last of her fever had gone which was such a relief as it had causing her healing to slow down so much. She breathed in unsure as to how to ask her next question she looked up speaking up softly. "Please may I see your chest wound?" She watched as the other woman nodded, she leaned over opening the robe catching sight of the faded white scar clearly in these past five hours her healing had really kicked in fully the wound was almost gone. She gently closed the robe looking at the other woman who had a very distant look on her eyes. "Your wounds healed there's up theirs nothing but a faded white scar." She paused seeing that Gabrielle really wasn't paying attention to her she still seemed very distant in her thoughts she moved her hand under her chin using it to raise her head so their eyes could meet. "Are you okay?" Gabrielle breathed in painfully. "No I feel drained." Xena felt her smile fade. "Is this because of the talk we had yesterday…about your son?"

Gabrielle looked down again. "I don't know, I just feel out of sorts." She felt herself tense. "Where's my pipe?" Xena eased her hand away putting it on her shoulder. "Your not smoking, you just took a weapon to the chest, your lungs my still need to heal further." Gabrielle breathed in sharply, as much as she hated to be told that she knew it was true, but it didn't help the frustration that was mounting. She could feel it in her every muscle, it felt like slow torture at this moment and she knew to ignore it she'd have to focus on something else. She turned catching sight of the Jason carving which was standing opposite the bed she eyed it before turning back to face the other woman. "You brought my carving in here?" Xena eased her hand running it through her hair letting it spill through her fingers. "Yes I did I thought it looked alone in your workshop." Gabrielle blinked in surprise. "So you brought it in here?" Xena felt her smile turn to a wide grin. "Yes." Gabrielle eyed the carving again. "Wasn't it heavy to bring in here?" Xena eyed the carving for a long moment. "Yes but I didn't mind." Xena moved her hand through her hair again unable to stop her actions as she felt the need to change the subject. "Adrienne started you smoking, didn't she?" Gabrielle slowly met her gaze. "Yes she did." Xena sat down on the bed opposite her. "I was thinking about this morning and it occurred to me that Damokles was never the type to smoke but she is and I saw her smoking opium in the room before you came in to meet her."

Gabrielle looked at her silver ring for a long moment. "She introduced me to everything which was wrong she always got under my skin in one way or another at first I used to fight her." Xena leaned over putting a hand on her knee. "She's not a nice person Gabrielle and she clearly took advantage of you." Gabrielle felt her eyes dart as she looked up as a question crossed her mind which in part she didn't want the answer to but in heart she needed the answer to. "Did the bitch survive the fall?" Xena put her hands together. "Yes, she did but she still hasn't woken up yet, her head wound still hasn't healed fully clearly she took the brute force of the fall." Gabrielle felt a cold smile form. "No that was my doing I tried to push her in to balcony on the way down, I think that's when she stabbed me in chest but my memory of that moment is a little hazy." Xena shook her head frankly she didn't blame the younger woman for doing this she would have done the same. "If she ever wakes up, she's yours to do with as you please." Gabrielle breathed in sharply. "I can't believe I ever listened to that bitch, she used to creep around me and I was so naive I'd never met anyone like her before. I didn't see that she was introducing me to opium as a way of throwing of my attention because when I was high she was in control and I wasn't." She put her hand on her face as a memory flashed through her mind. "I thought at first she was showing me opium to be kind."

8

Gabrielle looked up eyeing Adrienne who was lying opposite her in the tent, she'd been told by the Imperial Council that she needed to get out. She was taking this journey now with a small band of experienced warriors up to Thessaly because there was some issue going on up there and it would look good to the people if she was seen being a warrior and a heroic figure like her predecessor. In these past few days it seemed that she couldn't turn with out Adrienne being under her nose. The woman always got right in to her personal place which she didn't like because she considered her personal space for close friends and lovers and Adrienne wasn't even her friend yet. The velvet had still not ripped away despite that her horns were now full grown but they weren't growing right they were crooked for a reasons which she couldn't understand and since the Crescent Hind was dead she couldn't ask him if this was normal. She eyed the other woman who was smoking her pipe opposite. "Why are we going to Thessaly again?" Adrienne eyed her. "We are going to kill some pathetic human beings it'll make you look good." Gabrielle eyed her ivory pipe. "Why do you smoke?" Adrienne eyed her for a long moment as she sat up adjusting her armour. "Haven't you ever tried anything?" Gabrielle eyed her for a long moment. "Define anything?"

Adrienne eyed the attractive blonde woman feeling a leering smile form. "You know orgies, threesomes, drugs and alcohol." Gabrielle looked away. "I have no interest in threesomes or orgies and I don't drink." Adrienne paused before looking up. "You surprise me you are Horn Hind you answer to no one, you can have what ever your heart desires, food, wine, sex it should be all be yours because you're a god among werewolves!" Gabrielle eyed her in disgust. "I'm not a god I'm just a werewolf who has horns!" Adrienne sat back shaking her head. "You know what your missing the point here, you can have it all, all you have to do is ask and any thing can be yours, don't you see that?" Gabrielle sneered slightly. "The Crescent Hind was corrupted by his decadence I refuse to be like him!" Adrienne moved over to her sitting down opposite her. "You misunderstand." She watched as the green eyes turned to meet her own. "Sometimes its okay to have a little fun, I'm not saying lavish yourself in gold, I'm just saying enjoy your life for once." She eased the pipe out of her mouth breathing out the smoke as she passed the pipe to her shifting a little closer breathing in the smell of her hair. "There are enjoyable things in life that can enhance your experience."

She watched as Gabrielle looked at the pipe the curiosity in her eyes. "Try it? It's opium." Gabrielle blinked as she looked up. "Opium is a human drug, it's bad for you." Adrienne felt a wide smile form. "Only to humans but not to us, hasn't anyone told you, all those bad things that humans can die doing to us, it's just a fun and there are no side effects as our healing fixes everything." She watched as Gabrielle put the pipe in her mouth breathing in deeply only to cough violently she put a hand on her back patting gently. "Oh don't worry about that, once you get used to it that stops." Gabrielle took in a deep breath feeling a slightly high tingle and then a warming sensation she felt a smile form. "That's nice." Adrienne moved a little closer god's she could see why Damokles had been so infatuated by this woman there was something about her which brought you in. It wasn't just her looks it was this timid shyness when they were alone it was so alluring. "It gets better." Gabrielle turned realizing for the first time that Adrienne was with in inches of her face. It was a slightly uncomfortable feeling she stood up walking away from the other woman sitting on the rug opposite as she breathed in the pipe again. She didn't like it when Adrienne got in side her own personal space but that was just too much. It had been a long time since she'd been intimate with a woman and it felt strange have that intimacy again yet at this moment in time she didn't want it she still missed Damokles to much.

8

Gabrielle looked up meeting the other woman's concerned gaze. "I was so clean before she came along I never did any of these things and now I can't kick my smoking habit as hard as I try." She breathed in painfully. "She never even loved me." Xena leaned over taking hold of her hand. "She was a fool I hated how she spoke to you, as if you were beneath her." She paused not liking where her next question was going to go. "Did she ever hit you Gabrielle?" Gabrielle felt her shoulders tense painfully as she looked down trying to ignore the pain as it wrenched at her heart. "Yes she did but not at first it wasn't until the day she defeated me in battle on the training ground, then it turned in to something else. She'd hit me when we were alone and tell me that she had power over me. In the beginning it was just a punch or a kick but towards the end it became more constant turning in to an all out beatings when I refused to see things her way the scars and bruises always healed so very few people ever saw what was happening behind closed doors. I won't lie when I smashed her head against the balcony as we fell I did it because I wanted to see her suffer for all the pain she'd caused me over the years."

She shrugged her shoulders ignoring the dull ache in them. "It's strange I don't even feel any remorse that she hasn't woken up it just doesn't matter to me she could fade away in to nothing and I still wouldn't care." Xena kept hold of her hand gently stroking her finger with her thumb. "You deserve so much better, you don't deserve to be treated that way by anyone." She looked down for a long moment before meeting the others woman's eyes which were filled with sadness which was open and unhidden she just wanted to take away her pain at this moment. "You've got a good heart Gabrielle, it's honest and kind and no one should ever hurt you." Gabrielle felt a sad smile form. "You're always so kind to me." Xena felt her grip around her hand tighten. "You're my best friend, my family." She breathed in deeply she wanted to say more, most of all she wanted to say that she loved her but now just didn't feel like the right moment. It was clear that this wasn't easy for Gabrielle to bring up the subject of Adrienne it was a horrible thought that one warrior could abuse another. It was clear that Adrienne had only been able to do this because Gabrielle hadn't been in the right frame of mind after loosing Damokles and his son and she had clearly taken advantage of that.

She was positive that the fight between Adrienne and Gabrielle in their other form had been about much more than just winning. It had been about Gabrielle breaking the other woman's power over her for good. She kept hold of the younger woman's hand unable to stop her next words. "I'll protect you, no one will ever treat you that way again not as long as I live, I will kill them myself if they ever try to harm you like that." She paused. "If this event has taught me any thing it is that I need to rethink my palace lay out. I put everything in place to stop Adrienne but I didn't consider that she'd ever put you through the window, I thought you'd be safe and that she couldn't escape that room." Gabrielle looked up sharply. "No please don't blame yourself for this and don't change the way your palace is run because of me, I didn't even know Adrienne was going to do that to me. She didn't want to loose it was nothing more than an act of spite and other warriors in her position would have submitted. The reason the Imperial Council always approved of her was because she was a dishonourable wild card, there's only one other like her and that's Bastiaan. Nether of them conform to the rules and nether do the assassins but the rest of werewolf sociality is not like this." She took in a deep breath. "If Adrienne had been honourable she would have surrendered her sword to redeem her soul."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by surrendered her sword to redeem her soul?" Gabrielle looked up slightly. "In werewolf sociality to surrender your sword or your tool of trade to someone is the ultimate symbol of submission and loyalty." She lowered her gaze. "The idea is that you kneel to the person who your pledging your loyalty to and hold up your weapon or item to them and tell them that your honour them and will always be loyal to them though for warriors there's another side to it. In that if they have done something dishonourable you tell them that they can not have their sword as their own until they have redeemed their soul and only when they have redeemed themselves can they have their sword returned to their hands." Xena leaned forward. "So if she had given you her sword you would have taken it from her hand and only given it her back when she had become honourable in your eyes?" Gabrielle nodded. "Yes to pledge your loyalty or surrender your sword is one of the most meaningful symbols of my race." Xena felt a smile form. "Has any one ever done that to you, surrendered their sword to redeem their soul?"

Gabrielle shook her head. "No never I can only assume it's because my horns have not come through yet or maybe the situation has never been right, I don't really know, I have never offered my sword to anyone ether." Xena stood up slowly feeling a wide smile form she felt that it was time to change the subject as she let go of her hand. "Do you know that everyone missed you while you were in bed?" Gabrielle stood up slowly. "They did?" Xena walked slowly over to the table where all the gifts were laid out. "Fedora, Thaleia and Demetrius said it wasn't the same without you walking the corridor at night." Gabrielle folded her arms. "I missed them to." Xena raised her hand. "Oh and Chara and Evadine said that they missed you as well." Gabrielle moved closer to the older woman. "They are a nice couple." Xena looked up sharply. "Couple who Demetrius and Thaleia or Chara and Evadine?"

Gabrielle raised both eyebrows. "I believe Demetrius and Thaleia have feelings for each other but they never act on them and it's not my place to interfere. Chara and Evadine on the other hand are a couple I have seen them in the royal garden late at night together enjoying each others company." Xena blinked as she stared at the younger woman. "I thought they were just friends." She paused. "How do you know all this no ones has ever told me any off this?" Gabrielle looked at her hands. "You wonder why it is I like the dark and why I spend so much time in it, it's because when it's dark I see everything I walk around in werewolf form and I see your palace staff living out their lives and when you watch them over a long period of time things start to reveal themselves." She paused. "Tiara throws her dirty water on the trucks of trees after cleaning the throne room, she spends a lot of time looking at the rose garden and talking with a Celtic man who cleans the gardens late at night."

Xena raised her hand. "That's Faolan her husband he's also no longer a gardener he is now the new head cook and he really wants to meet you and talk to you, where he comes from in Britannia your race are very symbolic." Gabrielle slowly met her gaze. "I look forward to meeting him to I've always seen him around but we have never spoken also I had no idea Tiara was married. Xena turned slightly. "I didn't ether until recently I have to ask though what else do you see at night?" Gabrielle felt her smile turn to a wide grin. "Phrixus sometimes takes out a scroll and he reads it aloud in the darkness almost like he's rehearsing it, I think he likes the idea of being a bard." She took in a deep breath. "Not much more I don't see Iona and I never see Phantasos." Xena moved towards her putting her hand on her shoulder. "How about you get a bath and get dressed then I'll get you something to eat, then you can open your gifts?" Gabrielle blinked looking up sharply. "Gifts?" Xena felt her smile turn to a playful one as she stepped away from the younger woman. "Yes gifts a lot of the staff brought you things they were all worried about you and wanted you to get better."

End of part 71

Silvermoonlight

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