Author's Note: The story is really heating up now, but let's have a heartwarming bit before it all goes wrong...
Saving Private Soldierbot
Chapter Eleven: Spare Parts
"Hey dude, you awake?" Scoutbot said, padding into Eagle's room.
"Name Unknown! I like this radio. I love this radio!" Eagle called back. "Come and listen to it with me."
"You...you what?" Scoutbot asked hesitantly, walking over to the robot.
"It tells me things." Eagle replied enthusiastically. "Some of it doesn't make sense. Why are humans always burning their fuel? Why do they fight wars over small inflated leather balls? Why is it so important that two humans press their hands together?"
"Uh, ok, right: Humans like to cook their food. It makes it taste better. Raw meat can make them real sick. You wouldn't want to see a sick human, it's frickin' gross. They...leak everywhere."
"Needing repair due to fuelling is very bad design." Eagle said severely.
"Damn right. Now, the second thing isn't a war, it's a game. They kick the ball about to see who's better at kicking a ball about."
Puzzled silence met this statement.
"You know, it sounds dumb when I describe it. Can be fun though. We used to have soccer matches, but I punctured the ball. Metal feet, y'know." Scoutbot admitted. "And the third one...well, I've not got a fuckin' clue what you're talking about there."
"Nixon and Zhou Enlai pressed their hands together. That's important, the radio said. Other information suggests that bodily contact is a prelude to human manufacture."
"Human manu..." Scoutbot stopped, realising what Eagle meant. "God, no! Jeez, thanks for that image. Mind you, it'd stop a lot of wars... Nah, they're leaders...people in charge. They've fought a lot and now they're sayin' they're not gonna. Well, kind of. Unless they piss each other off. Um. It's complicated. They're sorta lying but not really. Fuck, this is difficult to explain!"
"I'll learn more." Eagle said. "I want to learn everything."
"You sound different." Scoutbot said thoughtfully. "I reckon the radio was good for you. You can keep it. It's a gift, ok? I'll get hardhat anoth...actually, no I won't, 'cos he's a dick."
"You don't like him?"
"No, I mean...uh, ok this is another thing that's complicated. I mean, he's ok but I just...wanna avoid him for a bit." Scoutbot paused. "Anyway, I got some visitors for you! How'd you like to meet some real humans?"
"Will they attack me?" Eagle asked cautiously.
"Hell, no. They're my friends. Huh. You've seen them before, thinkin' about it." Scoutbot turned back with a creak. "Hey guys, come in."
There was a hacking cough and some swearing, and then Bobby and Rick walked in to the room, Rick supporting Bobby with an arm around his shoulders.
"Dude, you should be in bed."
"Fuck that." Bobby spluttered. "You think I was gonna miss this?"
"What's that flaky red shit on him? Looks like blood." Rick sat Bobby down firmly in a chair.
"I like red." Eagle stated. "We've met."
"Uh...you remember that, huh?" Rick said hesitantly. "I guess...we're sorry for lockin' you up for a year?"
Bobby groaned and coughed again, spluttering into his hand.
"What does that sound mean?" Eagle asked. "Is your engine misfiring?"
"I'm sick." Bobby swallowed and grimaced. "S'alright though, I'm better n' I was."
"Are you going to leak?" Eagle asked suspiciously.
"Huh? What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Bobby gave a huffing wheeze.
"Sick humans leak everywhere." Eagle said authoritively.
"Oh...nah, it's not that kind of...shut the fuck up, Rick!" Bobby elbowed his giggling twin in annoyance.
"I like this guy." Rick said with a grin, patting the head. "So, can we tell him what we brought for him, Scoutbot?"
"Hell no, I'll tell him." Scoutbot said, leaping up and sitting on a bench. "See, we thought you'd be sick...no, make that tired... of just bein' a head, so we got some robot parts..."
"Breaking into robot storage was dead easy!" Rick said enthusiastically. "Some dumbass had left the door open, can you believe that? Too. Fucking. Easy."
"...I reckon I can put you back together again. Give you a body."
"A...body? Like yours?"
"Well, a Soldierbot body. No wings, either. I dunno how to make those." Scoutbot explained. "But hands, arms, legs, all that stuff."
"A body." Eagle said thoughtfully.
"You can't stay as a head, dude! You said yourself, it's boring."
"If I was repaired, I would have to follow orders." Eagle said doubtfully.
"Nah. We don't work that way. I mean, I help out, but that's 'cos I want to. Yeah, people tell me what to do...but it's not the same." Scoutbot explained. "You'd able to run, or walk, or pick things up, do you own thing, all that."
"I don't have to kill humans?"
"Not if you don't want to." Scoutbot replied.
"Dude!" Rick objected.
"Uh, I mean, no. It'd be better if you didn't. Killing humans 'round here tends to do nothin' but piss them off."
"I don't want to. Humans are interesting." Eagle declared.
"You think that now, but wait until you hear Medic in lecturing mood." Rick said. Bobby suddenly snored, his head drooping, before looking up in puzzlement. Rick looked at him in concern. "Hey, bro, I'm taking you back to the infirmary. You should be in bed."
"Mm? I'm ok. I'm awake." Bobby muttered, giving a soft, sputtering cough.
"Don't care. You don't look good, Bobby. Go back to bed before Albrecht has our hides." Scoutbot said.
"You need to go to the hospital for repairs." Eagle said sternly. "Otherwise you will suffer a critical stop and that's dangerous."
"Yeah, yeah." Bobby grumbled, stretching giving a yawn that turned into a cough.
"Sorry dude, we better go. Nice to meet ya, Eagle. We'll come again once the bro here has stopped coughing his guts up."
"Don't cough your guts up. They are vital equipment." Eagle replied knowledgably.
"Ok, dude, I'll remember that." Bobby nodded with a grin and let Rick guide him out of the room.
"The parts are just outside the door, Scoutbot. Sorry I can't stay an' help, but I gotta get this wuss back to bed." Rick called back.
"Screw you, Rick." Bobby croaked. "See ya, dude."
"See ya." Scoutbot said. "Right, so let's get started. Here's the plan: I build the body, and attach you last, ok?"
"I'll supervise." Eagle said.
"Yeah, you do that."
As it turned out, Eagle was actually quite helpful in assembling his own body. Not only was he very curious, but he was more than happy to act as a vice if need be, holding pieces in his powerful jaw while Scoutbot attached them. Even with his mouth full of robot parts, he still chattered on, which made Scoutbot wonder exactly why he had an articulated jaw in the first place, since he didn't need to eat and just had a speaker for talking, like Scoutbot. In the meantime, the questions just poured forth:
Why do you have wings?
What is 'Tuesday'?
Why is it dark at night?
Why are trees green?
Is God a Maker?
Explain smells.
Why do humans come in so many different shapes and colours?
Why is ice slippy?
Why are there oceans?
What is a family?
That last one made Scoutbot stop in his tracks. He paused, putting down the foot he was attaching to Eagle's future leg.
"Huh. That's kinda difficult to explain. It's a group of people who live together and look after each other. Normally, they're related- parents, or brothers and sisters. Uh, let's take an example: Bobby and Rick."
"The humans I met earlier?" Eagle asked.
"Yeah, them. Well, their family is their Ma...uh, that is, their mother, who made them... their seven brothers and...ugh, Spy Théo, I guess. He's retired now, no longer workin' with us. He's doing the whole family thing with my...with their Ma. Come to think of it, you met him. The thin purple human who sapped you, remember?"
"Before the yellow-headed human removed my head."
"That's Engineer Dell." Scoutbot corrected.
"Engineer Dell." Eagle said obediently. "Rick and Bobby's 'Ma' created them, so they are brothers. Therefore, Engineer Dell is our Ma, and you are my brother."
Scoutbot laughed and shook his head, tightening a screw. "Not our Ma, fuck no. He's...just Hardhat. But you can be my brother, if you like." He paused as the idea sank in. "Actually, you are my brother, aren't you? My family. That's why I'm doin' all this. You gotta help family."
"You are my family. My brother." Eagle said softly.
"Damn right." Scoutbot said. "There. Think I'm done." He shoved the robot's body upright. It was much more sturdily built than his own light frame, with sheet metal armouring covering the internal workings. It was horribly battered looking, with bullet holes, dents and scorch-marks, and Scoutbot guessed they were scrap pieces from a badly damaged robot. Eagle wasn't going to be pretty, but it should all work. He hoped.
"Can I try it?" Eagle asked.
"That's the idea!" Scoutbot replied. "So, now you gotta switch off, and then I'll attach your head and, uh, switch you back on. Ok?"
"You are a clever person." Eagle said admiringly.
"Yeah, I'm smart." Scoutbot replied, puffing out his chest. He didn't add that he had no idea how to start the robot's internal motors once he had attached Eagle's head but hell, he'd figure something out. "So, you ready?"
"Yes." Eagle replied, his lights dimming instantly until the head was silent and dark.
"Huh. Guess he's keen to get going." Scoutbot rubbed his hands together with a squeak. "Ok, I can do this." He picked up Eagle's head and carefully examined the connectors. Yes, there they were- a few simple bolts and some sort of electrical socket. The socket currently had two wires taped onto it that ran to the battery, so Scoutbot removed those and connected the socket to its matching half in the neck of the main body. He then quickly bolted the head in place, and stood back. That bit was easy, at least.
Eagle was in one piece, at last. A complete robot, lying on the workbench and ready to be activated. Scoutbot looked at the main torso carefully. He knew there was an Australium core in there that acted as a starter for the main motor. Hopefully, it still had enough power to work, since there was no way in hell Scoutbot would be able to get hold of some more of that rare and expensive element. He turned Eagle over with some effort and took off his scorched back panel. Presumably there was some sort of switch...
There was no switch. Scoutbot sat back, resting his chin on his hand in thought. How the hell do these things turn on?! He was starting to get a sinking feeling Eagle might have some sort of remote radio switch-on, as a security measure. The robots all stopped when I blew up the control panel, didn't they? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Ok, he wasn't going to find a normal switch. He looked at the wires and circuits under his hands. It kind of looked like... he started to laugh. Yes, it looked just like a car's wiring- just the sort of thing Scout used to hotwire in back in Boston when he needed cash. So, in that case if he connected this red wire...and that red wire...then stripped down the starter wire and just tapped it against the red wires...
The robot shuddered and jolted as its motor started. A puff of dirty smoke came out of its exhaust and a dim blue light shone from under the helmet. The engine revved loudly for a second before quietening down to a steady thrum. Scoutbot leapt back, whooping and punching the air in victory as Eagle's hands and legs twitched, and the blue light got brighter. The head moved back and forth with a creak and then Eagle slowly pushed himself upwards into a sitting position, before wobbling and falling off the bench with a clatter.
"I fell over." Eagle stated.
"Yeah I can see that." Scoutbot knelt down and heaved the heavier robot into a sitting position with a creak of effort. "How'd ya feel?"
Eagle looked down at his arms and legs silently. He clenched a hand, watching the jointed fingers move. "Complete. I'm...complete." His legs twitched and he grabbed the table leg to try and haul himself upright.
"Woah, take it slow, dude. P'raps you should do one of those things...uh, diagnostics. Check everything is working ok before you stand up."
Eagle's blue light dimmed briefly. "Yes, it all works." He worked his legs under himself and then pulled on the table leg while Scoutbot put an arm around his shoulders to try and help him upright. He stood swaying for a moment, before almost falling over again. Scoutbot caught him in time with a cry of alarm.
"You sure you're ok?"
"Not used to this anymore." Eagle muttered. "So much to remember."
"Yeah? I'd not really thought of it like that. I mean, walking, running and flying is just what I do. Don't need to think about it."
"You do." Eagle said, taking a wobbly step while Scoutbot held him carefully. "You've forgotten that you think about it."
"That makes fuck-all sense." Scoutbot complained as Eagle took another step. "Does it feel good to walk again?"
"No." Eagle said shortly. "It's difficult and complicated. But I know it will feel good."
"Jeez, that's gratitude for ya."
"What does 'jeez' mean? I've not heard that on the radio."
"It kinda means 'Wow', I guess. Short for 'Jesus'."
"I've heard of him! The radio talked about him. They seemed confused about whether he was dead or not. There also seemed to be some confusion as to his species- human, sheep or lion. Who is he?" Eagle shifted his weight to his other foot.
"Ah, jee...I mean, wow. That's kinda complicated." Scoutbot said. "Can you ask me about that some other time? Religion don't really matter to robots anyway, I reckon."
"I want to try walking on my own." Eagle said.
"You sure?" Scoutbot asked in concern. "If you fall over, it's your own fault, dude."
Eagle nodded determinedly, so Scoutbot let go of him slowly, staying close just in case. He knew that it would be pretty hard for a robot to hurt itself falling, but...well, it was habit, he guessed.
Eagle took an unassisted step forward, wobbling slightly. Then another. Another. Gaining confidence, he tried a faster stride. Name Unknown was right- it was easy to forget you were thinking about it! It...his foot hit a dropped wrench and he staggered suddenly. His arms shot out to gain some balance and his flailing arm smacked Scoutbot in the face, sending the lighter robot flying before Eagle fell flat on his face.
There was a metallic clatter as Scoutbot slammed into the wall with a startled cry. Eagle rolled over and sat up, looking over at the surprised robot.
"Fuck." Scoutbot muttered, looking disdainfully at the silver streak along his torso. "You scratched my paintwork!"
Eagle looked at him and made an odd crackling noise. It took Scoutbot a moment to realise he was laughing. Eagle was laughing.
Eagle was laughing!
"Dude, not funny." Scoutbot said, his voice catching as he tried not to chortle.
"I fell down, and then you fell down." Eagle said, cackling. "This is a funny thing."
"Hey, this is serious." Scoutbot tried to say before his voice broke down and he joined in the laughter. "Jeez. You're impossible, you know that?"
Eagle just continued laughing, and Scoutbot decided it was the best sound he'd ever heard.
In Chapter Twelve: Dell decides to do some investigating and comes to an unpleasant conclusion...