A/N Thank you all so much. We know Merle made big mistakes, let's see if things can get straightened out in the Dixon home.
He opened the car door and helped her in. They were both on emotional overload and hadn't really spoken yet.
He drove to the little park and stopped the car. He looked at her and said in a quiet voice, "I think we should probably talk a little about this before we get home Beth. I know we need to get an understandin' between us."
"I think you're right Merle. I want things to be good for us again, I truly do. I just don't feel certain that we can ever be as close as we were, not after everything." She had tears in her eyes, but she didn't cry.
"I understand Darlin', I do, and I know I got no one ta blame but myself. You're the best wife a man could ask for, I been so lucky, it don't even seem like it could be real how good I had it, and how bad I loused it up. I made a big mess a things. I did things I promised you a long time ago I was never gonna do. I promised I'd never take ya if that wasn't what ya wanted, that I was always gonna treat ya special in the bed, then I done what I did, and worse, I done it several times. I know I got a lot a makin' up ta do, I'ma work so hard ta prove to ya I can be a good man. And I ain't keepin' secrets from ya about work and such no more. I appreciate you givin' me this chance Darlin', if I's ta lose you and them kids, life just wouldn't be worth livin'." He was rubbing the back of his head and neck, like she knew he did when he was troubled and deep in thought.
"I want ya to know sumthin' else too Beth, I know yer mad about the baby comin', I understand. But I ain't mad, or disappointed. I'm happy to have another baby with ya Beth, you make good children, yer a wonderful Mama. I'ma be the best husband and Daddy I can be. I'ma help ya as much as I can with the house, with the children, with whatever ya need. You're my wife Beth, I love ya more than anything on this earth, I'll do anything for ya Beth, I'ma spend the rest a my life provin' to ya how much I love ya, treasure you, and I ain't ever gonna treat you like I done not ever again. I promise ya."
"You were a wonderful husband to me Merle. I felt so loved, so special, so well cared for. I want to feel that way again, with you. I know it's going to take a while for both of us. My heart grew cold towards you Merle. It's going to need time to warm. I'm not angry about the baby. I was very angry about the way it happened, but I will love this baby just like I love our other children."
She did something then he hadn't expected, she reached across that seat and squeezed his hand. For a moment he just hung his head, but then he slid over closer to her, and he wrapped his arms around her. "I love ya so much Darlin', thank you for givin' yer husband a chance. I ain't gonna waste it."
They walked in the door and Edith knew right away, things were a little better. And when he went down to the apartment for his clothes, she felt so relieved, and happy. She knew they loved each other, and she had no idea what had gone so wrong, but she was hopeful they'd worked it all out.
While he was gone she said, "Mrs. Beth, I know it ain't my business, but I gots ta tell ya, I'm so happy Mister Merle's comin' back home. That man he loves ya, when you was gone he was a miserable wreck, I's worried he'd do hisself in. Sorry for overstepping my place," Now she was nervous.
"Don't be sorry Edith. I appreciate it, I know he loves me. We're going to try real hard, both of us." And she smiled at the woman who was such a blessing in their lives.
That evening he waited until she was in bed to come to the bedroom, he knelt on the floor next to her and took her hand. "Before I come in the bed Darlin', I just want ta say, I ain't gonna reach for ya, ain't gonna do nuthin'. I'm just gonna wait for ya ta tell me when yer ready. If ya never are, I'ma just have ta live with that."
"Merle, will you come to bed and just hold me, like you used to before we were married?" She smiled almost shyly.
"Yes Darlin', I'd be happy ta do that."
And so for the first time in a very long time, they shared the bed and just held each other.
Two Weeks Later
Things had been slowly getting back to normal between them. They were getting comfortable living together again. Merle was trying hard to prove his love and prove that he wasn't ever going to be cruel to her again.
He had decided he should cook one night a week, and that night was Wednesday. She knew it was never going to be anything fancy, Merle knew how to cook meat and potatoes, but she appreciated him making the effort, and she was happy to eat whatever he prepared.
Friday night's he took his family to the diner in town, or the restaurant Beth liked over in Robinson.
He also announced he would start cooking the family breakfasts on Sundays before church. Beth thought he'd do that just perfect. He made good bacon and eggs and the children loved his pancakes.
She knew he was trying to be of help to her, to lighten her load. She also knew he worked hard at his job, worked hard in the yard, spent time playing with their children. She did appreciate his efforts.
Lori called her and said she'd like to come over and visit. Beth had a feeling Lori wanted to talk, and she could certainly use a friend to talk to.
Lori had gotten Karen to keep her children, and Beth asked Edith if she'd mind tending Tommy and Suzy. "No m'am, I never would mind watching these two, they be like little angels compared to those ruffians a mine," The woman smiled broadly.
Beth poured she and Lori each a glass of lemonade, put some cookies on a plate, and they went to the apartment out back to visit a while.
Lori almost seemed to be reminiscing, she talked about when Beth had first moved in the apartment, and the trouble she had with the people in the community, how Lori and she had shared their stories and their secrets, Michonne's big announcement, the bridal luncheon, the wedding. "There's been a lot of love in this little apartment Beth." She smiled at the young woman, and Beth got a little teary-eyed.
"I don't know what happened between you and Merle, Beth. I know something went terribly wrong, and I'm smart enough to know it had to have been something Merle did for you to leave with the children. I'm so sorry for whatever that was, but you're home now, and that tells me you still care for him. I can see you're struggling Beth. Is there anything I can help you with?" Lori reached over and gave Beth's hand a gentle squeeze.
And Beth began to cry softly, and she told Lori what had happened between her and Merle.
Lori never interrupted; she listened with her hand still on Beth's as Beth told her story.
And Lori simply asked her, "Are you still in love with Merle?"
And Beth just answered, "Yes."
And Lori asked her, "Do you want to have a family life with Merle and raise Tommy and Suzy and the new baby with him?"
And Beth answered, "Yes."
And Lori said, "I can't even imagine how difficult it must have been for Rick to forgive what I'd done to him, to us, to Carl. Sometimes I think about it and I wonder how he could. But he did. And because we both worked hard to put the past in the past, and to move on with our life and our love, it somehow worked. Oh I'm sure he still hurts sometimes, I still hurt. It's not like a person can completely forget these things, but if you want this marriage, this life with Merle, you're going to have to try and put it away, Beth. I don't think Merle will allow it to happen again. I've seen him, I know he has deep regrets, and I know you could never punish him as much as he punishes himself. You two had such a beautiful marriage; I want you both to have that again. Do you think you can try?"
And Beth, wrapped her arms around Lori, gave her a tight hug and said, "Yes Lori, it's what I want. I love Merle, I want to be his wife in every sense."
Beth knew she had to do as Lori advised, if she wanted to have a strong marriage with Merle she was going to have to somehow forgive him. And she didn't really want Merle to be groveling, that was not the man she married. The man she married was tough, and strong, and he could be stubborn as an ox, but that was who she'd fallen in love with.
He'd been so attentive to her and the children, and he had been treating her with such love and respect. And she wanted so much more with him, and she knew it was all up to her.
That evening when they got in bed she placed her hand on his cheek, looked in his eyes, and whispered, "I want you to be my husband again Merle. Make love to your wife."
And he almost forgot to breath, and responded, "You sure Darlin'?"
"Yes," and she leaned up and kissed him on the lips with great passion.
And he made love to her like he had on their wedding night. Taking his time, making sure he pleased her before he pleased himself, and he repeated to her over and over how much he loved her.
When their lovemaking was over, and they lay in each others arms, she said those words he thought he was never going to hear from her again, "I love you Merle."
One Month Later
Things had been good with them.
Her pregnancy was going so easy, they were both surprised. She was keeping anemia at bay, and she hadn't had any other issues, in fact, she was enjoying feeling this baby grow inside her.
They both felt like their relationship was was growing strong again.
Beth had renewed faith in her husband. He was the man she'd loved for so long, lost, and now he was back and better than ever.
Merle was so relieved to have his wife and family back, he loved her with every part of himself. And the children, he loved them, they gave him purpose.
They were on their way to Daryl and Michonne's for a three day weekend. Beth was so excited to spend time with family, especially now that her own little family was back together and doing so well.
She looked over at Merle as he drove. He was a man with his flaws, but he had done right by her and the children in so many, many ways, and she loved him so much. She had reconciled herself to the brief period of time he seemed to have slid off the rails. And she was happy that she had. She didn't want to live her life without him.
A/N And there it is, short and sweet. I think we can move on with our story now. Thank you all for reading, please review xo