i think this is short, but i think that this is enough for one chapter. next chapter will have 300% more dave, and i'll try to make it funny too.
have fun, you sick fucks. i love you guys.
also i'm sorry i had some problems with the spacing in this. technology, kids.
TRIGGER WARNING: CONTENT INVOLVING SUICIDE.
You're feeling a lot of things right now. A lot of things, and your head is filled with little emotions bumping around, knocking into each other, and just driving you absolutely nuts.
At first you're thinking about how much of an idiot you are. Come on, you're kissing a man that's about the same age as your dad. But that thought is squished flat when he kisses you back. Your faces are pressed together and you're both leaning in and boy you really weren't expecting this. His hands go to your waist and squeeze and you take a breath before diving back in. Bro pulls away and takes you top lip between his. Your fingers tangle in his smooth hair while he sucks on your lip.
You almost want to squeal like a little girl but you can't because you're not a little girl and you're also a man now. Men don't squeal. But they can be playful. You pull your lip from in between Bro's and move to nip at his neck a little. He lays on his back and you hold onto his hard shoulders and bite his neck gently.
You feel him shudder when you ghost your lips up the length of his neck, and he twitches when you blow from your nostrils onto him.
His gloved hands move to your ass and gives it a tight squeeze. You bite his neck and he squeezes it even harder.
This is a perfect moment. A seriously perfect moment, and you never want it to end ever-
Bro's phone buzzes in his pocket. Damn. The magic is gone. You watch Bro dreamily as he answers his phone.
"Hello? Now there's a voice I haven't heard in a lifetime, what's up? ...Excuse me, what? Are you kidding me?
Man, you can't just call a guy back after he quit his job nearly two years ago.
...That is a lot... But have you heard, I'm fucking loaded.
Are you serious? ...Fine, I'll be there."
Bro looks at you. You look at Bro. He exhales.
"I guess I have to DJ at my old club tonight. I don't know when I'll be back... Guess you're on your own, John." You drop your head onto his chest, doing nothing to hided the disappointment on your face.
"It's alright," you mumble "Do your thing, I guess." Bro massages your scalp.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's cool."
"I have to..." His thumb is pointing to the door.
"S'cool" You crawl off of him and Bro gets up and stretches. His phone buzzes again. Ha. Look who's popular today. He answers it.
"Heeeello? Oh, hey Dave. Wh-
What? Why?" After a pause, Bro laughs. "What the fuck did you do?
Hmm, okay, how early is early?
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Whatever bro, see you then." He hangs up the phone.
"Yeah and also Dave's coming back tomorrow." Bro walks out.
You're excited again because you get to see your best friend in person for the first time in years. However, your time to spend with Bro is cut short. You guess you'll find a way around that soon enough.
You have an entire summer. By the end, Bro will be 100% yours.
Yes, you have plenty of time.
You grab your laptop and decide to pester Jade because she deserves it. She helped you with this whole nightmare noise, and messaging her would be the best payment. Because you're really cool. And getting pestered by you is the best thing that can happen to anyone.
- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 13:41 -
EB: earth to jade!
EB: man do i have stuff to tell you. so much stuff jade, SO MUCH STUFF.
GG: im here and tell me! :DD
GG: begin with what happened between you and bro!
GG: i want to know!
EB: what? did rose tell you already?
GG: im still laughing
EB: shut up. i totally scored.
GG: what? you two...
GG: uhh...
EB: no! we just made out a bit i guess...
GG: really? john thats great but
GG: isnt he your dad's age? and hes daves brother, john, dont forget that. :(
GG: i mean its not like i dont want you to be happy!
GG: i thought you were straight anyway :\
EB: i don't know... bro is really hot, but i guess i didn't really notice until we had
slept together...
GG: whoaa there daddy back it up!
GG: you did WHAT now?
EB: it was part of the nightmare thingy thing.
EB: allow me to explain.
GG: please do :O
EB: it was a dark and stormy night...
GG: :/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
EB: what even is that face.
GG: john.
EB: your fault. so anyway, bro was all like "yeah i'll see what i can do. just go to sleep" and i was
thinking "wow thanks dude you're really helping me out"
EB: so i go to bed and i start dreaming. the nightmares are coming more frequently, btw.
GG: DD:
EB: whup, save it for the end.
GG: /:
EB: yeah so something happened, i think i was tied up or some shit, and i'm like "whoa what the fuck is even happening why can't a break free from these here chains" except they were invisible and i wasn't thinking that much.
EB: but then bro is there and i'm like "ok wow this is not a normal thing".
GG: UU:
EB: ...
GG: the two-mouthed man is trying not to laugh.
GG: at your bondage
EB: didn't i tell the two-mouthed man to shut it?
GG: /:
EB: aHEM, so i was thinking "whoa ok cool what", but then the knives and oh my god...
EB: he just
EB: protected me from all those knives and they took him away from me.
GG: )):
EB: it's okay little dude.
GG: ))':
EB: two mouth... don't cry...
GG: ))":
GG: uhm, john, as much as i dont want to say this, do you think...
GG: ...you may only like bro for what he did?
EB: hm?
EB: sorry, you sent your message before i sent mine.
EB: hold on a fucking second. i see what you're doing.
GG: apparently i dont?
EB: this was in an episode of icarly! where freddy saved carly from the taco truck! dammit jade!
GG: john, i, going to leave if youre not going to take me seriously!
EB: i'm serious though!
EB: the whole "you only like him for what he did thing".
GG: john, im serious too. just think about it, and if you do like him, great!
GG: ill give you some time.
- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:51 -
EB: jade!
You're mad. Jade knows nothing. Fuck her and her iCarly references. You love Bro, not only because he's the solution to your problems, but because he's hot and funny too.
Oh shit. The solution to your problems. You're making him sound like an object, when he's more to you than that. So much more. You had made out, for God's sake!
You just... Don't want to think. You need a break. So what do you do? John! You're in Austin Texas! Explore,do things, engage in normal human activities! So you do. You go out in your beautiful rental, Lucille, and park somewhere in the city. You shop. You buy some food and do a little picnic in a park, thinking about the awesome classes you're going to be taking come autumn. You talk to girls who try to flirt with you, and you watch as they back off after discovering you're a big nerd. You genuinely enjoy your alone time in this city.
When evening fell, you're finishing off some ice cream on the way to your car and it dawns on you... Why did Bro leave so early to set up his equipment. You're no DJ, but it doesn't take an expert to know that it shouldn't take hours upon hours to set up equipment. Maybe he was just avoiding... Awkwardness? Ah, you don't know and you don't care. All you are about is this delicious mint cookie dough ice cream.
In your car, you sit while finishing off your yummy sugar cone and think about your problems. Your sleep related problems. Is this a thing that happened to other people? Why is it happening to you of all people? Why can't there be a solution without someone being hurt?
Your thoughts make you sick, and you get out of your car to finish throw away the last bit of your ice cream. You feel sick, and you stand by the bin a while in case your stomach feels like it needs a refund. How gross. Vomit is disgusting. Life is disgusting. You return to Lucille and drive back towards the apartment.
When you return, it's dark and humid and a little gloomy. You're really upset, and as much as you'd like to sleep to get rid of these emotions, you can't for obvious reasons and it sucks. Everything sucks. And Bro isn't here for you. You were counting on him to protect you and he ran off to go DJ for horny tools who have bad taste in music, clothing, and life decisions in general.
Fuck Bro. Just... Fuck that guy. Fuck everyone and everything and fuck the one who decided to scar you with these dreams that are destroying you from the inside out. You, John Egbert used to be a fairly happy kid, until this horrible things began to happen in your sleep. You were sleep-depraved and helpless. It took your father a long time to understand the extremities of these nightmares. You had had to deal with them one your own for a while, and over time, you had learned to cope. Just fuck everything that breathed and everything that didn't breathe. You want to make anything the breathed stop breathing. God dammit, oh god dammit.
You need to fucking sleep. You give in. The bed beckons, though it's still pretty early. You don't even bother to ditch your clothing, you're so mentally exhausted. You had thought so much today and you need a mental break.
It takes you almost no time to drift off into a deep sleep...
Great. Just fucking great. You're on a cold, cold metal platform, and your wrists and ankles are bound to it. The room you're in smells like blood, and the walls appear to be the most disgusting looking concrete surfaces you've ever laid eyes on. They're covered in mold, blood, and other things that really can't exclusively identified with the sense of sight.
The room is dim except for a bright light that hangs low over your body. You hear a door open from a place you can't see, and then footsteps and the rattle of wheels and clattering metal things.
The man stands over you and looks over your body. You notice that you're naked but your fear drowns your embarrassment in the sea that was your emotions.
The doctor is wearing a dirty mask, and a dirty uniform covered in blood and other body fluids that should almost never be found on that sort of clothing. You can't make out his features, but you can see what he's holding.
A scalpel. Your eyes widen in terror. The scalpel is dirty, rusty, bloody, and probably extremely disease-ridden. You panic, you try to scream ad break free but nothing works. Your body doesn't listen to you. It does all the wrong things. You want to move but you can't. You want to settle down but you can't. You want to cry but you can't.
When the tip of the sharp scalpel presses to your skin you want to spasm but you can't. As the doctor slowly slides the object from your upper shin down to your foot, you can't scream or kick and the pain is unbearable. Your skin is split near to the bone and the blood is oozing and your vision blurs. When you calm down as much as you can (which is not a lot at all), he does your other leg. It hurts.
The doctor is completely silent as he moved on and put the tip of the scalpel to your chest. You want to beg but your vocal cords are back in the real world (which is not a reality for you right now).
He slices you open from chest to pelvis, soaking up some of the blood with the nastiest looking towel you've ever seen and smelled.
You stare down in horror at your own innards. They're pulsing with blood that should all be gone, and your head lolls back. You can barely handle the sight, but you can't pass out. Not here.
You're in so much pain that your thoughts are a mess, and you can't think of anything that makes sense. You think about people you've never seen and bands you've never heard, and for a moment, the pain is nearly gone.
That is, of course, until the doctor leans in to inspect your body even closer. You nearly piss your operation table. Bro is the doctor, the doctor is him, and... This is all so fucked up.
He puts both bare hands around a lung, you assume, and tugs at it. You wince and bite your bleeding lip. You think you hiss too. He tugs at the slippery thing until it finally tears out. You bang your head against the metal surface, and he puts a disgusting bloody hand on your face to prevent you from doing it again.
He proceeds to rip out nearly every organ he could, having extra fun with the small and large intestines.
You can feel yourself slipping, and before you go out, Bro kisses your bloody forehead.
This time when you wake up, you actually scream. You begin to cry like the first time this had happened. You sob and sob. You're alone. You're helpless. You're miserable and nobody is there for you.
All you had asked for was for somebody to help you through this thing while you stayed here with your best friend and his brother. That's all. Bro doesn't care. Nobody cares. You hate every fucking person on this shithole planet and you hope they're dissected as well. Fuck everyone.
You run out of the room and out the door or the apartment. You nearly sprint up the stair to the roof, still crying. Your chest hurts, and the humid night air does not help at all.
The sun was not in view yet, but it's rays had already touched the night sky. You go to the edge of the building and look down.
This is your chance to end it all. You can't fucking do this. You can't do any of this. People are useless and stupid and selfish. So fucking selfish.
You take a few steps back. You hear steps behind you and look. Bro is just staring, his mouth gaping. Perfect fucking timing, asshole. You run, and Bro shouts behind you. Right on the edge of the building, you bend your knees and jump.
The free fall lasts about a nanosecond. You nearly choke when Bro grabs the back of your shirt, and you dangle over the edge.
"John, what the fuck are you doing?" Bro is outraged, and he can't keep himself from shouting. Bro is loud.
"Duh, I'm fucking killing myself, are you fucking blind?" You retort, still sobbing. You're shaking so much that you think it's permanent, and you realize how scared you are. Oh god.
"Are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking stupid? You selfish little prick! I leave for a single night to make a bit of cash and you're here jumping off ledges!" Bro is shaking too, and you can see the anger in his eyes behind the shades. They seemed to be glowing.
"John, I want you to look down." His voice is shaking, and you think he might cry. Of course he's not going to, because grown men don't cry, but he looks like it.
"John, look the fuck down." He snarls, and you do and dear fucking hell. You almost fell from this fucking height. You're the stupid one. You're the selfish one. You start to cry again. You're loud and the sobs seem powerful enough to break your ribs. You can barely control your breathing as Bro carries you back downstairs.
You cry as he puts you in his bed and lays down next to you. He wraps his body around yours, stroking your hair and muttering things into your ear. You don't know what he's saying, but you know they're sweet things and you cry even harder. He kisses your wet cheeks over and over until you calm down a little.
You eventually fall asleep again, and you don't dream. Well, at least you don't think you do...