This is set back when Norman Osborn was still human, but he still counts as a villain. I went back and read through this story and face-palmed so many times at the number of mistakes. PLEASE! If a chapter has even the tiniest error, tell me! I will fix it! R&R and enjoy! Also, I think I might officially update this every Saturday. Probably.

Chapter 13: Of Romance and Chicken Soup

Norman Osborn was walking through a pharmacy. He had contracted quite a cold and was looking for something to help his symptoms. Slightly annoyed, he walked to the register and asked the lady what he should buy.

"Nothin" The lady said.

"Excuse me?" Norman asked.

"Honey all you need is some old fashioned chicken soup!" The lady was old, maybe 70 or 80, but her tone was warm yet commanding at the same time. She was the type of lady that you would see baking chocolate chip cookies one minute, and hitting someone upside the head with her purse the next minute.

"Right. I'll just take Tylenol," Norman said dryly.

"Hmph!" The lady huffed. "You kids these days! All your fancy medicinal drugs and pills. I'm tellin' you baby, all you need is chicken soup."

"I'll have you know that I'm a grown man."

"Wait a minute, I know you! Uh-huh, yup, you're famous!"

"Well, perhaps not famous, but well-respected. Now, as owner of a multi-billion dollar company, I'm sure it's obvious that I can take care of myself well enou-"

"Company? Oh no baby, no no no no no! You're that ugly guy that rants about Spiderman on that big television machine!" The lady nodded.

"Jameson?"

"Yeah! J. Gerald. Jameson, or something like that."

"How could you even assume that! Gerald doesn't even start with a J!"

"Either way, I think you look great without your bushy mustache! Purrrr," The lady did a "kitty claws" gesture.

"Um-um-um..." Norman felt his face get hot.

"How about I make you some nice," The lady got closer, "Hot," She cupped Norman's face in her bony hands, "Chicken soup."

"NO! Er, I mean, I'm quite sure that I can brave this trivial illness, alone," Norman staggered out of her grasp, knocking over a shelf full of medicine bottles, which all crashed to the floor.

"Aw, you are just so cute!" She pinched his cheek.

"Tha-thank you, ma'am," Norman flinched, his voice becoming more high-pitched.

"I love a man who can dance! Do you know how to dance Jameson?"

"Actually my name is Norman Os-WHOA!" Norman was suddenly being swung in dizzying circles by his arm. He came to a stop pressed against the lady's body.

"Help!" He squeaked.

"You sure do need help honey, in a dance lesson!" She sang as she swayed her hips side to side and clapped her hands and stomped her feet. Norman tried backing away and was only pulled into another spin.

"Sprinkler!" The lady shouted as she rotated an outstretched arm in a jerking motion, hitting Norman in the nose in the process.

"You little-"

"Sh! Don't speak, you'll ruin the moment," She sighed.

"Ok lady, put Osborn down!" Two police officers stormed into the pharmacy.

"I love parties!" The lady laughed giddily. She used her free arm to grab both police officer's hands. As the threesome danced, the lady cackled, Norman prayed for his life, and the police officers tried to decide whether this was more fun than patrolling streets. Eventually, the old lady tired herself out and Norman escaped, but it would be years before he could enjoy another bowl of chicken soup.

This was inspired by an AsapSCIENCE video about homemade remedies that actually work, one of which being-you guessed it-chicken soup. Hope you guys enjoyed and as always, feel free to give me suggestions for future stories, or even just villain requests. Anyway...

Wolf out...