Hey guys! This is my chapter but I will use a few ideas. Star the Star Sorceress, I like your babysitting thing and it's funny because I was already planning on doing that! Great minds think alike :D. Neyite, I'm not sure if I can pull Scorpio off, since his story seems kind of sad and I don't know if I want to make fun of him. I will try though, because I might have an idea. Anyway, this chapter is AU, since I going to pretend that Sandman lives in New York, in an actual home, instead of at S.H.I.E.L.D.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing

Chapter 14: Dang Cookies

Sandman had fallen asleep in his easy chair when an obnoxious knocking woke him up. He sluggishly opened the door.

"Girl scout cookies!" A little girl with brown pigtails, freckles and green eyes was standing in the hallway of the apartment building with a big smile plastered on her face.

"Oh, no thank you-"Sandman started.

"No thank you? Really! I slave over a hot stove all day making these freaking cookies and you say NO THANK YOU!" The girl put her hands on her hips.

"Look little girl, I know that you didn't make those-"

"No, you look, my troop leader says that whoever sells the most cookies, gets a Princess Prettypink bike! You know what that means don't ya bub! It means that as the biggest Princess Prettypink fan IN THE WORLD, I NEED THAT FLIPPING BIKE!" She yelled in a high pitched voice.

"How about I just buy you the bike tomorrow, just let me sleep tonight and-"

"Are you suggesting that I cheat! That isn't the girl scout way. Now hurry up and buy some dang cookies, and get a new wardrobe while you're at it," She snapped sassily. Sandman looked at his striped green and white t-shirt.

"What's wrong with my outfit?"

"Um, nothing...if you were a toddler! My mother says that grown men should wear suits and designer sweaters, otherwise they're no good."

"Your mother? Don't little brats like you have mommies?" Sandman growled. He was getting mad, this wasn't good.

"How old do you think I am Gramps? I'll have you know that I'm already this many," She held up eight fingers, "And I'm not getting any younger, so hand over the bills and I'll give you a box of cookies!"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR COOKIES!"

"YES YOU DO!"

"GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE OR I'LL FILE A RESRAINING ORDER!" Sandman could feel his feet starting to mush into fine grains.

"Restraining orders didn't stop Mother and they won't stop me!" The girl walked into Sandman's apartment, found his wallet on the table, and started counting out the money.

"Four...five...six-"

"Listen little girl, your parents must be crazy to put up with you, but I'm not that crazy! You are going to get outta my house, walk out of this building, and-" Sandman said a few colorful words that made the little girl stop dead.

"What did you say to me?" She snarled.

"Uh..." Sandman was debating his moral code.

"Real mature, and you made me lose my place! Now, I gotta start over! One...two...three..." She huffed.

"Uh..." Sandman wondered if he should have watched more crime shows, especially the ones from the criminal point of views.

"Ten! There! Here is you stupid box of cookies!" The girl screamed.

"Uh..." Then he wondered how far away Mexico was. The girl handed him a box of butterscotch cookies and started walking out. Sandman snapped to attention.

"HEY! YOU JUST ROBBED ME YOU PHSYCOTIC LITTLE BRAT!" He grew taller and sandier.

"You're a genius," The girl muttered sarcastically. She turned around to glare at him and screamed.

"EWEWEWEWEWEWEEEEEEEEWWWW!" She ran, still holding the rest of her cookies plus the money. As she ran she came across a teenager in a red and blue suit.

"Spiderman?" She asked.

"In the flesh, hey you haven't seen a walking sand castle have you?"

"Cute, now if only your saving was as good as your jokes!" She yelled. Spiderman scratched his head.

"Who needs saving?"

"ME!"

"Right! I knew that!" Just then Sandman came roaring into the corridor.

"SPIDERMAN! THAT LITTLE DEMON JUST ROBBED ME!" Spidey looked at the cute little "demon."

"Aaaahhhh! Spiderman that big scary and stupid monster has been chasing me all night! I walked to his house because I heard that he was unstable and I felt so sorry for him that I was going to give him this money and some free cookies! But he turned into that and tried to eat me! You won't let him eat me will you! You're too strong and brave to let him eat me!" She wailed.

"Look Sandy, she's just a kid! You can't go around scaring kids! It's ok now little girl, and you can keep the money, he doesn't deserve it," Spiderman declared. The girl blushed and smiled.

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" And she sashayed away calmly.

"Well Sandy, what do you have to say for yourself?" Spidey asked.

"I only hope that that little witch never decides to become a villain, otherwise we'll all be doomed," He shuddered, thinking of a little girl laughing maniacally on a throne overlooking fields of burning cities as unicorns enslaved humans.

"Definitely doomed."

Yeah so thanks for reading and stuff. All the people who have reviewed, you guys are AWESOME! Seriously though, this is my most popular story and I've always wanted to get to 50 reviews, and now it seems like it's actually possible! Yay! So anyway...

Wolf out...