Disclaimer: The only part of Castle that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

"Wow, this is some afternoon, isn't it?" Dad said when he was undoing Scrapple's leash by the front door. "I thought we were going to skate right around the corner and we don't even have ice skates on. And we're all soaked, too."

He wasn't kidding, it was terrible outside. It started to rain while we were on our walk and then the rain got colder and turned into sleet and then the sidewalk got so slippery and the sleet stung our faces.

"Oops, I didn't get the towel in time. Look at our dog, rolling around on the rug. Do you think that's what we should do? Dry off like that?"

"Yah!"

Dad grabbed me around my middle and swung me up in the air before I could get on the floor with Scrapple. "No rug rolling for us, my man. How about we get in the tub and warm up, what do you think?"

"Yah. Tub."

"We'll make bubble hats out of the shampoo. And mustaches."

Dad ran us a bath and we were having so much fun splashing around that we didn't even hear Mom come in.

"Hi, boys. Is there room for one more in there?"

Dad looked very surprised and smiled at Mom. "Technically it would be three more, Beckett."

"Castle!" Mom leaned over the side of the tub and kissed me on the nose. "Nice mustache, sweet pea."

Dad blinked his eyes fast a lot of times. "No kiss for me?"

"Not sure you deserve it after that comment, but yes," and she kissed Dad on the lips instead of the nose.

"It's nice to have you back so early. It's only what, five thirty?"

"Yup. I'll tell you all about my trip home after you get your wrinkled bodies out of there. Gonna make some tea to warm myself up. I'll see you in the kitchen."

Dad got us both out of the bath and wrapped us up in towels and then we got on some dry clothes. Scrapple was already in the kitchen with Mom. He doesn't like to get too near the tub in case we decide to put him in there. After we all sat down Dad said, "So tell us about your trip home from work. Was it exciting?"

Mom sipped her tea and made a face which I could see over the top of her mug. "Not exciting, irritating."

"What happened?"

"The weather is appalling, as you clearly experienced, and the battery on my car conked out, fortunately while it was in the precinct garage. But since it was sleeting and rush hour there were no taxis, no Ubers, nothing, so I decided to take the subway."

"Whoa, whoa, Beckett. Why didn't you call? We would have come and gotten you."

"No, Castle, I didn't want you on the road in the sleet, especially with Eliot." She drank some more of her tea. "The subway was the best choice."

"And packed at this hour."

"And packed at this hour, yes. I was standing in front of a young woman, maybe mid twenties, who was sitting there absolutely radiating hostility and sullenness. Her thousand-dollar Canada Goose parka was unzipped so you could see her T shirt, which said, in enormous letters, PARENTAL CONTROL. Very in-your-face, you know? Even though her face was virtually in my belly. Anyway, there she was, young and presumably healthy, entitlement clearly zipping through her veins, reading a book called How to Get What You Want."

Dad snorted and Mom looked hard at him. "I know. Anyway, I couldn't believe that she didn't get up for me."

"Maybe she didn't notice?"

"You're kidding, right? I'm impossible to overlook, Castle. My stomach is the size of New Jersey, for God's sake. I was nearly poking her in the nose with it.

I could tell Dad was trying not to laugh. "Too bad you didn't, actually. Poke her in the nose." I think he decided he should let Mom finish because he closed his mouth hard.

"So, to continue. There was a woman on my left who had to have been eighty, and this little snot didn't get up for her, either. After a minute, the man next to her offered me his seat. When I took it she gave me this totally withering glance and went back to her book."

"I sense something coming."

"You sense right. She was moving slightly away from me, as if I had a communicable disease. But she had a shopping bag on the floor between her feet, and she decided right then to start man spreading—okay, okay, she's a woman, but same thing. She started spreading her knees apart until she was all but shoving me sideways. Instead of shoving her back, which is what I wanted to do, I turned and stared at her. Really, really stared."

"Mom, you stared at her? One of your fireball ones?"

"Oh, I wish I had a video of this." Dad looked very excited, and he got his phone out. "I bet someone already tweeted. I'm gonna check."

"Castle!" Mom reached across and grabbed his phone. "Attention, please. Eventually she looked at me, and I said, 'You know, you can save yourself a lot of time and trouble by not finishing that book.' And she said 'What?' All this contempt on her face, right? And I said, 'It looks as though you already got what you want, namely a seat on the subway at rush hour, despite the fact that there are elderly people and at least one woman in an advanced stage of pregnancy standing around you.' She looked like she was about to spit at me and then she said, like ice, 'F blank blank blank you.' And I gave her my very best smile and rubbed my hand on my belly and whispered, 'Somebody already did. It was fantastic'."

Dad's eyes were wide, wide open and he was bouncing on the kitchen stool. "You really said that? Beckett, you are a goddess. What happened then?"

"She got up in a rage and stomped to the door and got off at the next station, which I can pretty much guarantee wasn't hers, given the location."

I don't know what they were talking about, but they both laughed for a long time.

They finished their tea and Mom said, "Could we move to the living room for a few minutes? I want to put my feet up and my back is killing me. And I would like a little cuddle time with you, Eliot."

Mom and I got on the sofa and she combed my hair with her fingers. When Dad bought in some cheese and crackers she said, "You know, sometimes it feels like the twins are having a slugfest in there. I guess it's because they're feeling crowded, but they're driving me crazy. I wish they'd knock it off."

"Hey, EB and Obi, did you hear Mom? What are you doing in there, having a wrestling match?"

"EB takes up too much room, Eliot. Always shoving me out of the way."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Well I need more space than you, you're a pipsqueak, Obi."

"I'm not. You're just a fatty."

"You guys! Stop it. I mean it. Right now. I'm not talking to you again if you don't. It's almost night time so just go to sleep."

They sounded cranky but they said they would. I put my hand on Mom's stomach. "Babies ni."

"Ni?"

"Babies shh."

"Oh, the babies are going night-night! Good. Thank you, Eliot. Did you ask them to calm down? You're a sweetheart."

Mom and Dad started talking about police things so I got down to play with my blocks.

"I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm so huge and ungainly and exhausted. I swear I'm considering nonstop s-e-x to bring on labor."

"Appealing as that sounds, the nonstop s-e-x—and it's unbelievably appealing—you need to keep them in there a bit longer."

"I know. Just seems like it's taking forever."

I don't know what they were saying then, either, but whenever they spell something in front of me I know it's a word I'm not supposed to know. Something for grown ups. I hope the twins get born soon, though, because Mom's belly looks like it's going to explode.

A/N Thanks to Bookish0278 for suggesting that Beckett complain about the twins battling for space and have Eliot tell them to quit it.