Sorry this took so long, I was having trouble with Freakishly Beautiful, writer's block is a bitch. Also, in case this fact still eludes you, I don't own dick squat.
The younger Ino-Shika-Cho trio pop into existence in the same spot as Naruto and Hinata did earlier, alcohol still in hand. They just bling for a few seconds, before shrugging unanimously and taking a swig of sake.
"Hello," Minato greets politely. "I'm sure you're wondering-"
"Nope," Ino cuts him off. "Not in the least."
Kushina raises an eyebrow. "And why not?"
Ino just stares at her incredulously. "I live in a village with Naruto as Hokage." As if that explained everything. And to anyone who even passively knew Naruto, it did.
"He painted the entire village orange once in the middle of the night. That includes people, even the ANBU on duty. They didn't notice until the morning," Choji supports his wife.
Shikamaru just sighed and laid down on the floor with a soft 'Troublesome'.
Ino's eyes slowly pass over the room, pausing for a moment on certain people, the longest being her father(who was now younger than her, how weird was that?), and screeching to a halt on Shikaku.
"Hey Shika," she drawls. "You're dad is pretty handsome when he's not old." She staunchly ignores the sputtering of her audience, and the slightly horrified face of Shikaku when he realizes that the unborn daughter of his friend and teammate is hitting on him.
Shikamaru just glares heatedly at her, not that she cares. "Shut up, troublesome blonde. You're being more troublesome than the Hokage." Ino looks affronted.
"Take that back, nobody is worse than him. We had to save his ass from drowning, not to mention freezing to death, when he thought swimming in Yuki, in the middle of winter, in swim trunks and wearing Lee's weights, was a good idea."
Kushina and Minato facepalmed. That was their son? Oh Kami help them.
"Plus scars are sexy," she adds.
Shikamaru had to concede to Ino's point(not about the scar part), their Hokage was a dumbass. A powerful, loyal, and occasionally smart dumbass, but still a dumbass. At the very least Hinata could usually keep him from killing himself.
"So, what was it you wanted?" Ino cocks a hip and props a hand on her waist, taking another swig of alcohol.
"What do you mean, brat?" Tsuma barks.
"Well, I highly doubt you're Hokage called you all here, to call us here, just for shits and giggles." There were a few embarrassed coughs and sheepish grins, because they had thought that, actually. "I mean, Naruto would do that, and has done that on numerous occasions, but all the stories of the Fourth Hokage painted him as more mature than to gather his council for a ramen eating contest like ours has."
Kushina felt a flash of pride for her son, that is totally something she would do if she was Hokage, and has tried to bribe her husband into doing multiple times before.
"You have to admit though Ino," Choji defends, "that was really good ramen." His wife grudgingly nods, it was very good. Teuchi and Ayame were certainly happy to supply.
"Yes, well, I created them to ask-" Fugaku rudely cut the Hokage off. But then, Uchiha's rarely had self-preservation instincts, they were like questions, beneath them.
"Tell me the fate of my clan, as those two from before yielded less than satisfactory answers."
Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru just stared at him blankly.
"It's an Uchiha," Choji pointed out.
"It is," Shikamaru replied.
"Do we kill it?" Ino asks. The rest of the council could barely restrain their laughter. Nobody liked Fugaku, he was a pretentious prick.
"As head of the Uchiha Clan, I demand that you answer!" Fugaku was getting really pissed, and it was amusing the room to no end watching his face turn purple in rage.
Ino heaved a sigh. "Well, if you really want to know, everyone dies, except for one admittedly cute child. Who later proves that Itachi should have killed him too because he turned out to be a giant asshole. We celebrate your deaths annually with alcohol and dancing, and defiling the Uchiha compound. Hey look, it's little Kakashi!"
She ran over to the corner and glomped the horrified masked child. "He's so cute! He looks just like little Sakumo!" Ino started to pet his hair, and Kakashi started to plan her murder.
Shikamaru just sighs, Ino wouldn't be Ino if she wasn't squealing over something or other. He locks eyes with his father, and they have a silent conversation. They come to an agreement. Both fall asleep.
Choji just shakes his head. He's the only sane one on this team. And coming from the one whose trigger word(fat) sends him into a murderous rage, that's just sad.
"You know," Ino cooed to the still trapped Kakashi, "I never could quite imagine you with two eyes. Seeing your hitai-ate put on normally is beyond weird."
Choji nods in agreement, it was pretty odd. "Well he has it on normal sometimes, Ino."
"Yeah, but that doesn't count cuz that usually means we're too busy fighting for our lives to really appreciate it."
"True."
"And not to mention his eye is beyond creepy and no one really ever wants to see it."
"Again, true."
"What the fuck are you two drunk psychos talking about?" Kakashi interrupted.
Ino blinked in shock. "Wow, I thought Hinata was kidding when she said little Kakashi was a rude little prick."
Minato clapped his hands like they were all unruly kindergartners to gain their attention. The room as a whole felt mildly offended.
"Now, as for what I called you here for in the first place. I really just wanted to ask you if we won the war."
"Oh thats easy," Ino said flippantly, waving her hand. "We absolutely dominated. 'Course, the history books always said that it was mostly the Hiraishin that did it, so….thanks for that, Mr. Past-Hokage-That-Looks-Exactly-Like-Naruto."
"Hey, troublesome woman."
"Yes, Shika?"
"That's Namikaze Minato, Naruto's father, right?"
"Sure is."
"Well, didn't you say that when you died, you were going to punch him in the face?"
Ino blinked. "Oh yeah, I did." She puzzled over it for a few seconds. "Nah, too drunk. I'll do it later."
"And why, exactly, did you want to punch me in the face?"
"Well, I was eighteen, and I bribed Naruto with the threat of telling Hinata about the stash of Ramen he keeps hidden in his office to tell me his life story. It pissed me off, and I had the urge to punch one of those responsible. Since it's illegal for me to harm civilians, I settled for defacing your head on the monument and swearing to Naruto that I would punch you in the face if I ever saw you. Meaning when I died."
The Yondaime blinked. "I'm really not sure how to respond to that."
"Naruto's defaced the monument too, when he was twelve." Choji pointed out.
"My own son…." Minato curled up in the corner with a dark cloud over his head. The rest of the council chambers ignored this like it was regular occurrence(which it was), while the three from the future looked on incredulously. This was the Fourth Hokage? The one they all worshipped as practically Kami incarnate?
He was supposed to be all cool and amazing, not the second(first?) coming of Naruto!
They felt cheated.
Everyone turned around at the sound of the heavy doors banging open. The civilian council stormed in, a pink-haired banshee of a woman leading the charge.
"Hey look, guys," Ino cried. "It's-"
POOF
The three disappeared in clouds of smoke.
"What is going on here, and why were we not informed?!" Haruno Mabuki screeched/asked.
Oh kami save them. It's here.
This turned out to be more of a drabble series than anything else, so it'll just be something I work on when I'm between stories.