3: Mark My Words (Finding Our Way, Chapter 5 - Shoes in the Doorway)

Darren came barreling down the stairs, yelling, "Rhi? Rhi? Are you okay? What hap..." He trailed off when he saw the aftermath of my accident and that I was holding his shoe in my hand. Then I went ballistic.

"HOLY SHIT, DARREN! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I ASKED YOU TO PUT YOUR FUCKING SHOES AWAY? IS IT SO HARD FOR A GROWN MAN TO DO SOMETHING SO DAMN SIMPLE? LOOK AT THIS MESS! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE CAN BE SUCH AN IDIOT!"

I stopped shrieking at him, basically because I had run out of oxygen. But, when I looked Darren in the eye, I realized that he had hurtled past concerned to pissed.

In a frighteningly calm voice, he said, "Rhiannon. I'm very sorry for what happened, but there's no need to swear at me and call me names. Let me help you up and we can discuss..."

Having caught my breath, I continued my tirade. "I'M NOT DISCUSSING ANYTHING WITH YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I DO EVERY DAY AND YOU CAN'T MANAGE TO DO SOMETHING A PRESCHOOLER COULD? AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, DARREN? A DAMN DONNA REED WHO CLEANS UP AFTER YOU?"

Unfortunately, Darren responded in kind. "IF YOU WANT TO GO THERE, RHIANNON, WE CAN TALK ABOUT PEOPLE NOT DOING WHAT THEY'RE ASKED! I'VE ASKED YOU NOT TO BRING UP SAINT JEFF'S NAME SO MUCH, BUT ALL I HEAR IS JEFF THIS AND JEFF THAT! SHOULD I BE WORRIED THAT THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?"

I was shocked into silence. When I recovered, I said quietly, "I can't do this any more, Darren." I struggled to stand up on my own.

He asked in a shaky voice, "Do what?"

"Be married." And I walked out the front door, closing it gently behind me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I felt like I was watching myself move toward Rita's house. Knocking hesitantly, I stared at Rita blankly as she greeted me. "Hi, honey. Do you need to borrow something for your big dinner?"

I could feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks as I shook my head. Rita grabbed my hand, pulling me inside.

"Rhi? What's wrong, honey? Is Darren okay? Are YOU?"

A sob escaped my lips, and I wailed, "I fell...his shoes...what am I...going to do?"

"You're going to come cry on my couch, honey, then you're going to tell me what happened." My neighbor guided me to her living room and handed me a tissue, the first of many I used while she got me something to drink.

Finally calm enough to speak, I sipped at the water, then explained, "You know how I've been trying to get Darren to put his shoes away when he comes home?" Rita nodded, taking my hands in hers for comfort. "When I got back from buying the stuff for tonight, I wasn't paying attention, and he had left his shoes in front of the door...and I fell...and the groceries went everywhere...it's all ruined!" I started to weep again.

"Are you hurt, Rhi? Where's Darren?"

I sniffled into my latest tissue. "I'm okay...he's at...home...I guess...I yelled at him, Rita!" I finished plaintively.

"Good for you, honey. If you ask me, he's been too dependent on you doing for him..."

"No, Rita, it's not good...I SCREAMED at him...I SWORE at him..."

"Oh, my, Rhi...no, that's not good, but he'll forgive you...after all, you could have been badly hurt..."

"He WON'T forgive me...he implied that I'm...cheating on him...with Jeff...and I couldn't take it...so I told him...I couldn't be...married...any more...and I...just LEFT..." The tears took over again.

Patting my hand, Rita consoled me, "People say things when they...argue that they don't mean...mark my words, honey. He'll calm down, realize that he was wrong for bringing Jeff up, and he'll come looking for you..."

"Oh, Rita, what if he doesn't? Maybe we...shouldn't have gotten...married...maybe it was...too soon..."

Curling in on myself as my sobbing renewed itself, I didn't hear a tentative tapping. Rita squeezed my shoulder, and said, "I'll be right back, honey."

She opened the door, knowing full well who was on the other side of it, and glared at Darren.

Straining to see past the elderly woman, he spied Rhi hunched over on the couch, her shoulders shaking, obviously crying her eyes out. Darren started toward his wife, but before she noticed him, Rita pulled him into the kitchen, and gave him the scolding he knew he deserved.

"What do you have to say for yourself, mister? That wonderful girl has been trying so hard to fit in. She's a fish out of water here, but she's been making friends, and looking for work because she wants you to be proud of her. Do you know what she had planned for tonight? She was preparing a big celebration dinner because she finally got an interview at a school and she wanted to surprise you with her news."

Darren blurted, "I had no idea...she never said..."

"Of course she didn't. That's why it's called a surprise!"

"But she was spending so much time with Jeff!" he whined in his own defense.

"He was helping her get a job! And besides, genius, he's GAY!"

I stopped in the kitchen doorway just as Rita shared this revelation with Darren, and the look on his face was priceless, causing me to spontaneously snort through my tears.

When he realized I was there, his startled expression morphed into the saddest face I had ever seen, and he desperately begged, "Rhi, I know I don't deserve it, but please come home with me, so we can work this out?"

Rita nudged him, so he continued, "And I can apologize...in private?"

I hugged Rita, taking the trembling hand that Darren held out to me, and we walked back to our house together.