GIVING A PIECE OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL

I feel so rested it's a strange feeling in my mind, I realize now that when ever I sleep with Xena I dream better, I don't even know why that is I can only assume that it's the contact. It's early in the morning now and I'm lying naked in bed in my human form looking at Xena as she sleeps, she looks so calm, calmer than I've ever been in my sleep. I've been awake for the past five minutes and I've found myself just watching her, I have a lot of feelings going on in my mind right now. She didn't laugh at me or mock me when I said I saw ghosts the reaction was the complete opposite to what I'm used to. I expected her to laugh every one else laughs but she never laughed though she took every thing I said completely seriously. She even said I had a beautiful gift though I don't quite understand that right now maybe she'll say more soon on that but I have to wait to know and I feel nervous about asking. Maybe because I saw it in her eyes that she was reliving a very personal memory one the few people know and I feel I will just have to wait for the right moment before asking. I just wish I wasn't so afraid to ask her things, when I know that she's asked me so much about my life in these past months.

I feel that its time that I asked her about her life because I really want to know how she rose to become the Empress of Greece. Everyone hears stories but those stories are only half of the truth and I'm sure there is so much more to it than what I've heard. I feel that now is the right time to give her the gift I made for her it just feels right in my heart. I made it when we were friends because I wanted it to be a show of friendship on my part but I know now it will mean so much more to her. Gabrielle eased up her hand running it through the long dark hair letting it spill through her fingers she eased her hand away very slowly the last thing she wanted to do was wake the other woman who was sleeping so soundly. She eased off the cover taking hold of her robe which was on the chair close by putting it over her shoulders ignoring the cold feeling of the air which wasn't as warm as it had been in the past. Clearly winter would soon and the snow along with it, she wasn't a fan of the snow she never had been. The only good thing was that her winter coat would soon start growing so she could keep the cold out.

She moved towards the central door opening it as quietly as possible then walked in to her room closing the door behind her. During the time that Xena had been working on her papers she'd completed the little wooden bird after her visit to Phrixus. The truth was that she now saw him in a very different light than before. He had clearly lost a lot just as she had he was now a dishonoured warrior who was trying to make things right and she knew how that felt. She was the king waiting to suite a throne which had been denied her and she would now have to fight to regain it. She hoped that one day he would regain his honour and once more be respected by his people, though she had a feeling that even if he got that respect back he would never love his people again the fact that they had killed his family would also in his mind and she knew how he felt. She felt the same about anyone who served Bastiaan. She felt her body tense oh what she wouldn't give to get hold of that bastard, the things she intended to do to him before she killed him. Damokles may not have said that it was him but something in her gut was telling her that he was him. She'd watched him in the Grand City he was always standing beside Hesperos who was whispering in his ear.

She'd always hated that smile he'd given her every time he'd seen her in the Grand City and after the flogging it had turned in to a knowing smirk and it had never vanished, in fact after Damokles had disappeared it had turned in to a wide condescending grin. She could never say any thing because he was Hesperos bloody right hand and well out of my reach, just as Adrienne was Admes's. The bitch may have been her advisor but she always reported to him. He was probably missing her or more pacifically the cock blowing, she probably gave him regularly. She'd known that Adrienne was never faithful even when we were together her ex had always used her sexuality to get what she wanted with both men and women. She was sure that she was pleasuring others behind my back though she could never prove it she had heard whispers from to time to time from people. They had said that they'd seen Adrienne talking with others and being intimate with them, there whispers had been voicing their concern for her but she had just blocked them all out because it had been too painful to listen to them back then. Now though she could hear them once more in her head with crystal clarity, she realized now just how much of a fool she had been back then. Maybe she was hearing them once again because she was afraid of her new relationship and she didn't want to loose it in anyway. She'd lost so much already and I don't want to loose anymore, the thought hurt far too much.

Gabrielle leaned over opening the draw on her desk easing out the painted bird looking at it for a long moment. She wasn't sure if Xena would like it unlike the Gold Finch it was not as colourful, it was a Dead Sea Sparrow painted in vivid colours she thought it would have more meaning as they'd both sat opposite each other on her balcony watching them some time ago. The message she had painted in side with silver paint was what worried her the most. It felt like so long since she'd really spoke from her heart and she wasn't sure what the other woman's reaction would be to it. She wasn't even sure if she cared for messages of love, all she did know was that she loved her carved birds. She turned the small bird between her fingers looking at its little painted eyes which were black and highlighted in silver and white. The rest of the bird's body had deep details with sharp browns and blacks and lighter gold tones which she hoped would bring it to life. She didn't even know if the other woman even liked Sparrows. Maybe she should hold back and give it to her later, maybe make it brighter."

"Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle turned around sharply putting the bird behind her back and out of site as she looked at the taller woman who was now standing in front of her, she hadn't even heard her come in to the room she forced a smile unable to keep the surprise out of her tone as she spoke. "Sorry I was going to come back to bed, I was just." She paused feeling her eyes dart as she spoke again. "Looking for something..." Xena raised an eyebrow she could tell by the slightly awkward shuffle that the younger woman had something behind her back and was trying her best to hide it from sight. She felt a wide smile form she didn't know why but she was enjoying this moment maybe because right now the younger woman was coming across as a shy and that was so enduring, she stepped closer raising her hand. "Did you find what you were looking for?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "Yes." Xena stepped closer adjusting her robe. "Would you like to show it to me?" Gabrielle lowered her gaze to the floor she knew she'd been caught she might as well have had her hand in side the jar because it was clear that the other woman could see right through her. Truth be told, she never had been that good at hiding things unless it was essential and for someone else's own good. She brought her hands around closing them around the wooden birds so the other woman couldn't see it. "It's for you…it's a gift."

Xena felt her smile widen. "You made me a gift?" Gabrielle slowly opened her hands watching as the small bird came in to view. "Yes." Xena eyed the bird it was one of Gabrielle's special carving she could see that it was male Dead Sea Sparrow painted in beautiful vivid colours each part was deeply colourful with golden brown and light browns. The chest had dark black and gold area's while the eyes had silver and white specks with in them. She leaned over gently taking it from the other woman's hand she'd always wanted one of these birds but she had come to realize that they were something special as Gabrielle only made them for people she cared about deeply. Damokles was one of the few to have one made for him and now she was holding one in her hands. She moved it between her fingers taking in all the vivid details which were so beautiful. She eased up her finger pressing the chest watching as the wings snapped open revealing painted words in shimmering silver which had been high lighted with gold she could see the time and effort that had gone in to every detail in the wing feathers which surrounded these words she leaned forward reading them.

"In the darkness you found me and from the darkness you pulled me in to the light of a new moon, there I sat up on the stone lions surrounded by those I consider friend but no friend compared to you. You who loved and cared for me and spoke to me on dark nights when it felt like the sun would fade and never return and made me feel that it could return once more and bring its light."

Xena breathed in seeing that a line had been added to it which was much lower than the others she turned the bird as she read it. "I am forever grateful for your compassion, love and understanding and I love more than the moonlight or the stars of Ouroboros." Gabrielle breathed in feeling herself tense as the other woman had gone quite as she stared at the words on the carved birds open wings. She spoke unable to keep the uncertainty out of her tone. "If you don't like it I can change it…." Xena moved closer to the younger woman seeing the uncertainty in her eyes. "No I don't want you to change anything on this." She pressed her thumb on the bird's chest causing the wings to snap shut. "It's beautiful." She turned the bird between her fingers. "I don't want you to change anything on this." She felt her smile widen. "Do you know how much I love your carved birds?"

She paused watching as the other woman shook her head. "I love them more than any other carving in side the whole palace, they are such wonderful little creations and after what happened between us all that time ago I never thought you'd give me one of these." Gabrielle lowered her gaze to the floor. "Things change, people change, I only ever give these birds to those." She paused before speaking. "I truly love." Xena eased up her hand putting it under the other woman's chin using it to raise her head so their eyes met that was the second time she'd heard the younger woman say that. "You love me?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "I'm not good with words Xena but know that I love you." Xena felt her smile widen as she leaned forward gently meeting her lips enjoy the warmth of the kiss which was full of genuine tenderness. "Personally I think you're very good with words." She paused. "Thank you for this It means so much to me." She eyed the bird in her hand. "I'm honoured to receive such a wonderful gift from you."

Gabrielle breathed in deeply wanting to change the subject as she was now feeling so out of her depth. "I'll get dressed." Xena looked at her for a long moment she wanted to offer the younger to get dressed in her room but she knew now that she wasn't ready. She knew that she'd have to give her more time this relationship was very new to the both of them and despite that she had seen her naked it didn't mean that she was comfortable yet, she leaned forward gently kissing her head. "Okay, I'll get Ceto to bring in your breakfast." Gabrielle nodded feeling her hand move away from under her chin. "I'll be in soon." She watched as the taller woman smiled at her as she moved towards the central door she took in another deep breath as she closed the door behind her, she should have dressed in her room but she knew she wasn't ready yet. By Ouroboros this was so hard at times, it just felt so difficult stepping back in to the natural rhythm of a relationship once again she feared every step she took because she wanted this to be right.

She picked up her freshly washed shirt looking at for a long moment, she was so relieved that the other woman liked her gift a part of her had been so unsure about giving it to her because she had feared her reaction. Yet now that it had been given she felt very strange deep down in side as the other bird she made had never made it in to Damokles hands yet Xena now had hers and that felt comforting to her and made her feel much better deep down inside. Just knowing that she had seen her hold it and touch it filled with a warm feeling which she could not describe and she knew it would take her a while to focus her feelings. She eyed her cleaned shirt again she needed to stop over thinking things but she couldn't help it these past few days had just been so life changing for her and it was strange trying to learn to love again but it was also hard, because she always feared the worst she needed to try and stop herself doing that in someway but she had no idea where to start.

Inside the ancient walls of the Grand City

Admes turned eyeing Hesperos who was seated on his throne opposite. "This is far too much of a risk! What if you're wrong?" Hesperos turned eyeing him. "I'm never wrong Admes you know she's had it coming for a long time, we all know that." He eased up the bloody playing card in his hand turning it so the others could see Gabrielle's image. "This proves it!" Narella folded her arms. "It's a playing card a harmless little playing card, why should we care if that half breed bitch made it in to the deck?" Hesperos moved towards her not bothering to hide his disgust as he spoke. "We should care, we pulled this out of the hand of a Athenian half breed rebel before he died he said one thing, hail the true Horn Hind the Golden Hind!" He eyed the card in his hand. "He owned no deck only this card and before I had Bastiaan pull out his insides while he was still breathing he said this card can never be burnt or broken it symbolizes freedom." He eyed the bloody card. "It means ever rebel who is against us probably owns a card like this one."

Admes eased up some more meat chewing on it. "I fail to see the connection between some pathetic half breed rebel card and Jacinda." Hesperos turned eyeing him. "She's been printing them you idiot! I've had my spy's follow her around she takes little detours in to human cities and places them in the hands of pathetic half breeds and full bred defectors who believe we shouldn't rule." Admes finished his meat he leaned against his throne patting his round belly. "Why should we care about these werewolves they don't have the power or the strength to over throw us, they never have?" Hesperos raised his ringed hand. "You see this is the reason why you're not in charge and I am, if all those fools got together and formed an army they could over run this city." Admes snorted as he sat back further in his throne. "Fool, with our version of bronze armour they are nothing, we have warriors and weapons." Hesperos stood up folding his arms eyeing the loyal subject's who were gathered below. "That's not the point I don't even want them to try, hence why I'm going to send a message to them today that their icon and all who follow her will suffer."

Narella stood up slowly from her throne. "You're just cut up about the fact that your plan didn't work, you picked the wrong people Hesperos you used that Roman idiot of a werewolf and Adrienne to do your dirty work but let's face it Adrienne thinks will her lowers. Probably why she has not returned yet, after all you and we both know Gabrielle never bonded with her that well." Hesperos turned feeling his teeth grind together as he spoke. "Adrienne is a stupid half breed Bastiaan on the other hand is what we need a half breed who gets the job done and doesn't screw the person in question." He raised a ringed finger. "Gabrielle is still alive because Adrienne probably wanted one last shot and she failed and the truth is her loss is of no consequence." Admes smirked. "You say that, yet she did keep Gabrielle very much in check she beat the bitch regularly and gave her opium to keep her well adjusted." Hesperos turned to face him once more. "Yet it wasn't enough was it? She's still breathing and she is now by the Empress's side though rumour has it, it's slightly more than friendship." Admes picked up and clam shell. "You and I both know you can burn out sexual appetite it's like a hydra and Gabrielle has always been clever." He swallowed the clam meat in one go before looking up. "She's just offering herself off like the common whore and the Empress is taking the goods."

Hesperos eyed him for a long moment. "Yet you fail to see the seriousness in that." Admes looked up slightly. "Oh I see the seriousness but unlike you I don't care because it makes no difference Gabrielle has no army and no one will follow her, werewolf and a human pairings are also forbidden despite gender and any werewolf rebel with half a brain knows this. They won't follow the very woman whose been killing them for fifty dinars a head regardless of her new laws." He picked up a live field mouse watching as it squealed as he held it by the tail. "Also my little plan will ensure that no one follows ether of them." Hesperos watched as he swallowed the mouse whole. "Yes your five year plan, if it works that it, its already costing me workers, they keep dying to make your vision possible." Admes patted his stomach again. "Oh it will work, after all the plan was created by the Crescent Hind but even he rejected it because he thought it was to brutal and we all knew that Gabrielle would never go for it. She's always suffered due to her compassion but I guess that's to be expected most women are ruled by their emotions."

Narella felt a sneer form. "He's right the plan is almost complete and no one will follow Gabrielle regardless of playing cards or Jacinda." Hesperos stepped away from her as he eased out a dagger which was for gutting. "You both don't see my point, I don't want the rebels to think they have a chance and I'm going to send them a message along with everyone in the underground cities that we are the true rulers of the Grand City and we have no equal." He stopped watching as the doors opened as a small old woman in her fifties dressed ornate animal skin robes entered the room. She had medium length curly white hair while her eyes were sea blue in colour in hand was a tall wooden staff which had a decorative wolf skull at the top. She stopped in the centre of the throne room watching as the other werewolves who represented each class took up their positions. Jacinda took in a deep breath she knew why she was here and yet she wasn't afraid, she had, had a vision of this over and over. She already knew the outcome yet she didn't care and she had no fear of it. It was true that once you'd seen something so many times the shock was no longer there. She spoke in a calm tone as she came to stand in her position in the centre of the room where her family had stood for centuries. "You called up on me."

Hesperos walked towards her watching as Admes got up from his throne following him along with Narella. "Yes we call up on you shaman." He eased up the bloody card as he came to stand over her. "I would like you to explain this." Jacinda eyed Hesperos who had a look of utter disgust in his eyes she felt her calm smile widen. "It is a card of the Golden Hind." Hesperos felt his grip on his dagger tighten. "Very smart but you and I both know that Gabrielle has no place in the deck and I know you've been handing out these cards." Jacinda eyed the bloody card. "A deck is not complete with out all of the Horn Hinds and my handing them out in the city is no more than completing the deck." Hesperos felt his teeth grind together. "I was in fact referring to the ones you're handing out to stow a ways and half breed traitors out side the cities." Jacinda raised an eyebrow. "I was merely bringing the Golden Hind to the attention of those outside our cities, so that they may want to rejoin the city. It has become clear to me that our people have become disjointed and are in disarray." Admes put a hand on his stomach. "That's not your choice to make shaman!"

Jacinda eyed him. "The mouse you just eat had no choice, you gave it no choice just like your people after all very piece of food you've consumed to make your stomach what it is could have fed another who was starving and needed the food. It's ironic maybe one day you'll meet a bigger stomach than your own and be consumed by its will." Admes laughed as he eyed her, he hated that she knew what he'd just done but he'd gotten used to it she always saw things other didn't. "I have nothing to fear I rule the Grand City as do the others you see before you, we are the true rulers." Hesperos turned eyeing the old woman as he threw the bloody card at her feet. "Yes we are the true rulers, not some half breed who lies with a human woman." Jacinda eyed the bloody card at her feet seeing that the blood was spattered over the horns of the image. "A Horn Hind is a Horn Hind regardless of blood the horns speak with out words." Narella turned pointing at the scroll on the wall. "No she is a fake she is not on the scroll therefore she is not a true king." Jacinda shook her head. "A scroll of many hands and no heart a proud design with out compassion, you're best yet I'm sure."

Hesperos grabbed her by her robes ignoring the uncertainty in the eyes of those watching. "In these past few years you've said much about us and that bitch Gabrielle. What bothers me the most is all your visions about Gabrielle have not been correct you said if she went to Corinth she would die, you said that if the Empress knew what she was that she would kill her…" He let go of her robes violently. "So let's face facts none of your visions regarding her have panned out, so I have to ask shaman are you twisting the truth to benefit your self?" Jacinda wiped down her robe before looking up. "I am here to give my views to the Imperial Council and the Horn Hind I see many visions, some come to pass others don't." Hesperos felt his hand form a fist. "Yet none of yours for Gabrielle have come to pass and now she's bedding the Empress of Greece!" Jacinda shook her head she knew now that the game was up and yet she didn't mind she looked down at the card once more before looking up. "Perhaps I have helped her but she is a Horn Hind and it is my family's duty to protect Horn Hind. It has been ever since the werewolf race gained freedom from king Lycaon and the Emerald Hind took his place as king, my ancestors became his moral support and council."

She shook her head sadly. "We were always the advisors to Horn Hind, yet that has been taken away from us with the Golden Hind you replaced me with Adrienne, just as you replaced me with some corrupt old fool who was loyal to you when Eleutherios was the Crescent Hind." She slowly met his hate filled gaze. "I am tired of my role being pushed aside because of this Imperial Council who is no longer worthy to suite the throne. Yes may be I did say things that weren't true but I do not regret my words, nor do I regret my actions. It has always been my family's duty to protect Horn Hind." She paused unable to stop her next words. "I have seen the pain you put that poor young woman through, the evil things you did to her to break her heart and soul you have used her as a tool and a puppet. You even made sure that the one she loved was murdered and that the next lover to take his place beat her and abused her. So I did what my family have always done for centuries I protected her and sent her away to save her from you." Hesperos grabbed her robes again unable to stop his rage as it burnt inside his stomach. "You dear betray us? We are the rulers of Greece!" Jacinda shook her head unfazed by his anger. "No you are not you have long since dishonoured your positions of power."

She eyed him for a long moment before speaking. "I no longer follow you, I spread the glory of the one true king the Golden Hind and what ever you do to me today will not stop what is coming I have seen your future." Hesperos felt his grip tighten on her robes. "So what's in my future old woman?" Jacinda felt a cold smile form. "I would not want to spoil it for you but what I will say is that you have no future Hesperos." Hesperos slowly raised the long curved dagger. "You have betrayed us and you will be punished for doing so!" Jacinda looked at the long curved dagger feeling a calm over take her as she spoke softy. "When I die my gods will embrace me in the Elysian fields of heaven eternal." She slowly met his gaze. "In death they will not smile so kindly up on you Hesperos, they will drag you down in to the fires of Tartarus." Hesperos eased the dagger down so she couldn't see it. "You know I have never enjoyed your council." Jacinda put a hand on his arm. "I'm afraid the feeling is mutual and to be honest those who are unworthy of truth do not understand anything. You are one of those people Hesperos as is your false Imperial Council." She breathed in only to cry out as the intense pain truck her in the chest, she looked down at the dagger which was now embedded there.

Hesperos pushed the dagger in further watching as the blood ran free soaking her robes as the staff fell from her hand hitting the floor opposite his feet. He leaned forward so he was close to her ear as he spoke in a whisper filled with venom. "Before you die know that I will extend the same treatment I just gave you to your whole family." He pushed her back violently forcing his dagger free watching as she hit the ground hard on her back as blood poured out from her chest wound. He smirked as she struggled painfully grabbing the card off the floor then slowly sat up leaning against one of the pillars as blood began to run down her chin. He eyed the bloody dagger in his hands as smiled at her. "Yes do you have something to say old woman?" Jacinda ignoring the blood as ran down her chin as she slowly raised the card meeting his cold gaze as she spoke. "This card can never be burnt…or broken it symbolizes freedom…hail the true Horn Hind…the Golden Hind." Hesperos snarled as he raised the dagger slicing it across her throat he watched as the card left her fingers, he ignored the looks of shocks and horror all around him as her eyes closed as death took over.

Admes moved forward the shock in his eyes as he looked at the body of the now dead shaman. "You crazy bastard, what are you thinking? She's an icon, werewolf sociality looks up to her and her family, when you said you were going to punish her I thought you'd kill one of her sons or have her youngest daughter raped, not kill her." Hesperos sneered kicking the old woman's dead body as her eyed those around him raising his bloody weapon. "I am sending a message to all those who would betray me for Gabrielle, this is what will happen to them!" He ignored the looks of fear as he turned to Narella. "Now do as command and send Bastiaan to kill the rest of her family!" Narella eyed the dead woman. "You are a fool Hesperos this might cause rebellion, even among our own people!" Hesperos raised the dagger higher. "Then every rebel who rises up in her defence will die along with all those who believe Gabrielle is king. This old woman's death and that of her family will send one message and one message alone that we are the rightful rulers and no one no matter how high up they are, will betray us!"

End of part 91

Silvermoonlight

Merry Christmas everyone I hope you all have great time this year. :D