FEELING A DEEP LOVE AND INTIMACY BEYOND WORDS
I confess I'm not that hungry I've been toying with my food for the last five minutes while I watch Xena play with the small bird I gave her. She keeps looking over the details, then opening and closing its wings she clearly loves this gift and the thought of that makes me happy. I feel so light inside right now it just feels like there's no weight on my shoulders, maybe it's a passing emotion or a phase but even if it is, it's nice. I confess as I sit here I can't help but stare at her, she is a very beautiful woman and anyone who says other wise is very foolish. I can only wonder how many men and women have begged for an audience with her if for no more reason than just to be in her presence. I get the impression that there are those even with in the palace who have not seen her up close. At least that is how I felt when the children came in to her room some time ago some of them acted as though they had never seen her before and they seemed so awe struck, I wonder what it must be like to have that everyday among your people?
I guess I would like for there to be a day when my people look at me in that way and not because I am Horn Hind but because I have won them over through doing something worthy of the name Golden Hind. I know that it could be years before that ever happens but I hope one day that it will. I still have no idea where to begin with the werewolf diplomat as it will have to be done very soon as there are a new set off scrolls lying on my desk which I have not looked through yet and I'm guessing that most will be requests for this. I need to work out a system and a part of me is leaning towards bringing Thaleia in to it she won't have to do much just file my scrolls on my desk so I can go through them easier. She is after all my family and there was nothing to say that her duties can't be changed in anyway. The truth is that I need help with this just to get started once I've worked it all out I will be able to do my paper work much better.
Xena turned eyeing the younger woman who was deep in thoughts as she toyed with her food she carefully put the carved bird in her hand down on the table feeling a smile form. "I sent of out word to all of the diplomats of Corinth." Gabrielle looked up sharply. "What about?" Xena felt her smile widen. "About us, I told them that I have a consort." Gabrielle put down her fork suddenly feeling very out of her depth she had not expected the other woman to do this so quickly. "Did you tell them what I am?" Xena put her hands together leaning forward. "No I just told them that your name is Gabrielle and that you're a royal, when they visit for the formal dinner I'll clear everything up right there and then along with a number of other things." Gabrielle pushed her plate to one side. "Do you think that's a good idea I mean won't it be too soon?" Xena stood up slowly. "No I think now will be the best time before the rumours start to fly, the last thing I want is for them to here the news that way."
Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "You know it may be too late for that, rumours can go a long way in a short place of time though people whispering." Xena put her hand on the other woman's chair leaning over so she was close to her ear. "Then let them whisper." She eased up her hand putting it on her collar moving the material between her fingers. "I hope in all their whispers they say that I love you." Gabrielle felt the taller woman's hand move down her shirt she felt the breath hitch in her chest as the other woman's fingers moved down further. She looked up meeting Xena's light blue gaze feeling her self getting trapped in it, yet like so many times before she didn't care. A part of her liked the sweet surrender that came with getting lost in the taller dark hared woman's eyes. Xena eased up one of her hands running it very gently down the scar on the younger woman's eye she leaned forward kissing it softy. This had become something unspoken between them Gabrielle allowed her to touch, caress and kiss the scar above her right eye. She very much doubted that the younger woman would ever let any one else do the same as it was a symbol of truth between them.
She leaned forward meeting the other woman's lips feeling her kiss be returned with equal passion as the other woman's hands moved through her hair. There was a huge difference and she could feel it in the kiss there was no resistance from Gabrielle she was completely open and she could sense the fire building as her body started to move. She wanted to feel more, the truth was that she had been thinking about this moment for a while and envisioning just what it would be like. They both knew how to pleasure both genders they both knew the dance but every dance was different no dance was ever the same a part of her wanted to know what pleased the other woman and what she found pleasurable as well as what she didn't like. She wanted to give that love which had been denied to her for so long but she knew she had to be gentle. Her ex had been abusive and this meant that there were some things that Gabrielle just wouldn't allow or want between the sheets. She didn't want to dominate her in any way in fact that was the last thing she wanted, she wanted to be on equal footing with the younger woman when it came to the bedroom.
Gabrielle felt the other woman's lips move to her neck causing her to breathe out sharply as she grabbed her back. She wouldn't lie to herself she was afraid and apprehensive she knew the signs she knew where this was headed deep with in her soul. She stood up slowly feeling the other woman's hands move to her waist as her lips met her own once more. Despite her fears she wanted to go ahead with this because it felt so right on every level. She felt the other woman slowly start to unbutton her shirt then slowly open it as she their kiss deepened which caused her to tense up. She didn't mean to she just couldn't help herself it had been so long, she could feel her own heart as it began to pound in her chest before she could stop it. Xena stopped she could feel the younger woman's body tensing under her fingertips she leaned forward putting her head against hers as she spoke in a gentle whisper. "Are you okay, do you want me to stop?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply as she spoke. "No I'm fine it's just been a long time."
She ignored the taller woman's uncertainty as she met her lips once more no longer caring for her fear or her nervousness. She felt her shirt come free as the other woman's hands began to move down her front, every touch of her fingers felt like electric as it touched her skin. Xena moved her hands slowly down the younger woman's neck and down to her breasts feeling her breath hitch as she moved them lower. She had seen her naked before but this felt so different. She could feel and touch her skin and move her fingers over the faded scars and contours feeling the ripple of muscle in places. She was stunningly beautiful woman every one else could see that except her, she heard the sound as her shoulder armour was unclipped at the sides. It was eased off carefully along with her connected back and breast plate then dropped it on the floor close by the other woman's already fallen shirt.
She moved her hands further down the other woman's waist finding her belt clip she pulled it loose feeling the other woman's hands move down her back finding the leather ties on her belt pulling them loose while easing her belt off along with its hanging tassels. Gabrielle threw the other woman's belt on to the floor all that was left was her silver waist bodice and under it the one piece low cut chiton which was up to her knees with its long sleeves. The older woman's hands moved to her trousers as she was gently laid on the bed on her back. She moved her feet forcing her boots free one after the other seeing the taller woman do the same as she moved on top of her kissing a trail down her breasts. She eased up her hands undoing the waist bodice's leather ties pulling it off in one swift motion. She was loosing control she could feel it and yet she didn't care as her trousers were pulled free and tossed across the room. She felt the other woman's lips meet her own as she moved her hands up easing the purple bodice free causing the taller woman to sit up so she could do so.
She felt the clothing drop from her fingers as she caught sight of the other woman's naked body she'd seen it before but still it didn't take away the rush of emotion she felt as she ran her hands down her breasts to her waist before the other woman's lips met her own again. She could feel the passion now truly building as she watched the woman in front of her pull her wrist gauntlets free throwing them to one side as she turned grabbing at her underwear with a sense of urgency pulling it free of her body in a swift motion. She watched as Xena pulled her own off throwing them to one side as she pulled her in to her lap she could feel the heat in the air now. They were both naked and it felt to her like everything was on fire she could see desire in the light blue eyes so clearly along with a hint of lust. All of the thoughts she had were suddenly cut off as she felt the other woman's hand start its slow decent which caused searing heat to travel down to her lowers.
She grabbed the sheet with one hand she felt overwhelmed, the other woman was in no manner trying to control this act it was as much about giving as much as receiving. She hadn't felt love like this in such a long time, yet it was such a welcome friend and she wanted so much more with every passing second, by Ouroboros she was so deeply in love with this woman she knew that now. She knew that she'd die for her with out question and kill anyone who posed a threat or went out of there way to cause her harm in a heartbeat. She could not deny her passion or her heart any longer she wanted to feel every moment of it and then give the same intimacy in return. She moved her hands no longer wanting to be the only one giving pleasure as she sank in to bliss of the other woman's lips as they met her own once more.
8
Demetrius walked down the corridor which led to Thaleia's room, he had now had time to rest and had cleared his head and he knew he should be on duty now but he had decided that this was more important he had put Iona in charge once again, much to her surprise. He turned catching sight of her door he knocked on it speaking calmly. "Thaleia, its Demetrius we need to talk?" He heard her disheartened voice hit the air. "Come in." He carefully pushed open the door watching as she came in to view. She was sitting on her bed reading a scroll she didn't look up as she carried on reading while speaking. "What did you want to talk about?" Demetrius breathed in deeply. "You're not in Gabrielle's room don't you normally serve her breakfast now?" Thaleia carried on reading the scroll which Phrixus had given her it was the werewolf alphabet and how to read it. He believed that she should start to learn it and she agreed with him. She breathed in looking at the letters. "Ceto gave Gabrielle her breakfast, she currently very preoccupied with the Empress."
Demetrius blinked in surprised. "Preoccupied?" Thaleia looked up slightly. "Yes preoccupied, I heard them, so I laid out Gabrielle's clothes." She looked down trying to hide her embarrassment. "I couldn't concentrate on the rest of my duties so I left." Demetrius felt a knowing smile form. "Well it's been a long time for the both of them." Thaleia looked down as she carried on reading. "I guess adults always get there fun while children are rejected for being young and naïve and wanting to grow up to fast." Demetrius felt his smile fade as he closed the door behind him he walked up to her sitting on the bed next to her he leaned over putting a hand on hers. "I'm sorry Thaleia, what I said yesterday was stupid, I didn't see things clearly and I got it all wrong." Thaleia looked up meeting his gaze. "No I'm sorry I didn't explain myself and I could see why you'd see it the way you did." Demetrius shook his head. "I have never seen you as a lowly servant Thaleia please believe that, I have nothing but respect for you and always have even before you got this position."
Thaleia breathed in painfully. "Do you know that I used to break the rules? I used to go up the main study and meeting room and watch you, even though I knew it might result in my punishment." She shook her head sadly. "I believed that I was always beneath you so I never spoke to you or looked at you in public." Demetrius blinked in feeling the shock of what she was saying sunk in. "You risked punishment for me?" Thaleia nodded putting the scroll to one side. "Yes." Demetrius breathed in feeling that it was now his turn to explain him self. "I misjudged your actions last night Thaleia I thought you were trying to grow up to fast, what I failed to realize is that you are not a child anymore. You are a mature woman who can make her own choices in life you stopped being a young girl a long time ago, if anything being Gabrielle's maid has brought out the best in you. I don't want to take away your innocence because I felt the person who you should be with you should be in love with you, you deserve that."
Thaleia looked up slightly. "Why do you fear taking my innocence?" Demetrius lowered his gaze sadly to the floor. "When I was a younger man I was like Adrienne, I used to love sexual conquest and I used to break the hearts of women and for me it was fun. I never stopped to look or care and I left their lives in tatters, I just used my position to get what I wanted." Thaleia breathed in deeply. "What changed?" Demetrius breathed in painfully. "I broke a noble woman's heart and she made me pay, she had her brother beat me to with in an inch of her life. I deserved it though for me it was a game I led her on, she wanted to marry and have children something I had no intention of giving her. When you are laid on the healer's bed with a lot of time on your hands you begin to rethink your life. I started to see myself for what I was and who I was, I didn't like myself anymore. Ironically once I was well enough I was at war again and I joined the Empress during the Spartan uprising and I buried my self in that war."
He turned slowly to her. "When I came home I didn't go out on conquests anymore I focused on my duties, I'm not worthy of any woman not after what I have done and I don't want to hurt you Thaleia, you deserve better than that, you deserve to be loved by a good man." Thaleia looked at him for a long moment. "You are a good man Demetrius, what ever you've done in the past it's in the past and it does not change how I feel about you now." Demetrius looked up sharply. "How do you feel about me?" Thaleia eased up her hand putting it against his face. "I love you I have for a very long time Demetrius." Demetrius gently put his hand on hers gods she loved him and he knew that he felt the same way about her but he was afraid to say it. "Your always see the best in people." Thaleia looked at him for a long moment. "Yes I do because everyone should be allowed to change and grow."
She paused before speaking feeling the need to change the subject. "Do you love me?" Demetrius nodded as he looked at her. "Yes I do but as I said before I don't want to hurt you." Thaleia leaned closer to him gods this was so good to hear he did love her, even if he didn't say it this was enough. Clearly like Gabrielle he had a lot of ghosts in his closet but she didn't care, she still loved him regardless of his past she eased her arms around him. "I don't think you could ever hurt me." Demetrius closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of her arms as he put his own around her feeling her hand move gently through his hair, which felt so calming. Leuis was right as much as he hated to say it he lacked conviction when it came to those he loved and he wanted to change that, though he had no idea where to start. He closed his eyes enjoying the sensation it felt so nice to have her arms wrapped around him, it just felt so right and so comforting he paused unsure of his next words. "Can I stay here for a while?"
Thaleia felt a smile form. "You can stay here for as long as you want Demetrius." She paused as she moved closer to his face meeting his lips getting an instant response this time. There was no resistance and it was so nice, she pulled back watching as a smile formed on his face, she raised her hand again putting it on his face catching sight of the tiredness in his eyes. "You look tired." Demetrius nodded as he looked at her. "I was up all night last night I had a lot to think about." Thaleia felt her smile widen. "Then sleep here, with me." Demetrius eased up his hand running it through her hair as he kissed her again before speaking. "I'd like that every much." He breathed in pulling her closer gods he'd missed this feeling it felt like it had been so long since he had felt this way. He had given up thinking that he would ever have a persons love after what he had done in the past. Maybe the gods had chosen to given him a reprieve, maybe this was his chance to prove that he could do the right thing by this woman.
8
Xena grabbed the bed post seeing the colours blast across her eyes as he body tensed as it ignited under an burning wave, dear gods all she could do was breath in and ride it, it wasn't the first time of tonight. She opened her eyes watching as Gabrielle breathed in deeply still trying to catch her breath the wave she had been travelling some time ago was still fresh, she now looked sated though she could see it in her eyes. She grabbed the post tighter as everything became still she had, had pleasure from women before but it didn't come close to this. This woman knew how to give as much as receive, not once had she dominated or pushed for control. She was deeply intimate with her actions and very gentle she knew how to build the pleasure and make the final outcome worth waiting for. She breathed in feeling the cold air move through her lungs she could feel sweat dripping down her forehead she moved her hand up wiping it away looking at the younger woman who was on her back next to her on the bed. She felt a smile form it was clear that werewolves had more stamina in bed than most people.
She wouldn't lie her past lovers had not been able to keep up with her in bed because she always wanted more but Gabrielle had no issue keeping up with her and this was the first time that anyone had been able to keep pace with her. That was such a nice feeling she breathed in turning over on to her side as she moved her fingers up to the other woman's chest seeing her godly symbol which was lying in between her naked breasts. She put her hand on it following the groove of the bone watching as the other woman turned to look at her. She breathed in seeing the intense open emotion in the other woman's eyes, she'd seen it on occasions before but this time it was so different. It was a look of share devotion and love which was only made more intense by the green reflecting in the low light of the room. She paused trying to find her voice which was a little difficult as she found herself mesmerized and trapped by the other woman's gaze. She spoke in a gentle tone as she moved her hand up to the other woman's face playing with a lock of blonde hair. "Hey."
Gabrielle eased up her hand running it through the other woman's damp hair as she spoke. "Hi." She leaned up meeting the other woman's lips kissing her gently and softy, there was so much she wanted to say but she felt so lost in her emotions right now that all she knew how to do was convey her love and devotion through this kiss. She had not felt this content in such a long time it was a nice feeling which she had been parted from for so long. She pulled back leaving the other woman's lips breathing in deeply enjoying the feeling of complete calm which was filling all her senses. "I love you." Xena moved her hand up to the other woman's eye running her finger gently down her scar in a gentle caress. "Love you to Gabrielle." She paused somehow her next words just felt right. "I loved you from the moment I saw you, it just took me a while realize it." Gabrielle felt a smile form. "What even though I couldn't remember my own life and only my name?"
Xena raised an eyebrow. "Yes even though you couldn't remember your life and the fact that you could only remember your name didn't matter to me." She moved her fingers down her neck feeling the other woman's hand as it carried on moving through her hair. Gabrielle paused feeling herself breathe in sharply as she spoke. "What will happen when I become your consort?" Xena felt her smile widen. "Once it becomes official a few things will change." Gabrielle looked at her for a long moment. "What will change?" Xena put her arm around her waist. "Well it mean's everyone has to bow in your presence as a formal sign of respect, though this doesn't apply to palace staff who know you as they are your friends." She felt her smile turn to a wicked one. "All the Greek royals have to bow to you with out question and trust me I'm going to ensure that they have to refer to you both by your name and your title of Golden Hind."
She felt a twinge of anger as the image of the royals she hated flashed through her mind as they laughed at Gabrielle as she danced like a bear in werewolf form. "If they refuse my threat from last time won't be a threat any longer it will turn in to a punishment." Gabrielle moved her hand up to the other woman's face stroking her cheek. "Please don't hurt others on my account, you're a kind person and you think with your heart it's always been the thing I love about you most and you should never change." She felt a cruel smile form. "Besides I would rather deal with the royals on my own terms, especially that Roman bitch and her husband." Xena moved her fingers down to the younger woman's chest feeling her breath hitch a little. "You mean Marmax and Eulalia, personally I have never liked them ether they have always over stepped the mark." She leaned forward kissing her on the neck. "Don't concern yourself with thoughts of them we'll both cross that bridge together when we come to it."
Gabrielle closed her eyes enjoying the sensation as the other woman kissed her neck. "I'm not concerned." She knew that wasn't a hundred percent true she wanted to see Marmax squirm with fear before she was finished with him and she wanted the same for his wife who had referred to her as deformed. She had, had dark thoughts about it for a long time, dark thoughts that she didn't want to share with the older woman. She had always hated that she couldn't control her temper or the dark thoughts she had from time to time and she didn't want Xena to be tainted by the worst part of her. She had so many thoughts swirling around in her mind right now and she didn't want to face them. Xena was now her lover and she wanted her to be her consort, was she even good enough to be that? She breathed in pushing her thoughts aside forcefully, she didn't want to even think about this let alone the meeting with the Corinthian diplomats the thought of it terrified her. What if her being Xena's consort just made things even worse due to her actions in the androphonomania massacre, what if her lovers plan failed and they all turned on her?
She looked up as Xena's eyes met own unable to stop her next words as they came out. "Will my being your consort mean marriage?" Xena felt a smile form. "Yes, but not right away." She leaned closer to her meeting her lips again before pulling away sensing that the younger woman was slightly distracted she could also see the uncertainty in her eyes. "We don't have to get married right away, only when you're ready I know it will take time for you settle in and I realize that this is a lot for you to take in." Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "Yes it's a lot to take in." Xena breathed in as she moved her hand down her waist she realized that maybe now was not the best time to talk about her crown or the throne that would have to come later as the younger woman's clearly needed more time to settle in to the idea of being her consort.
She couldn't blame her for that, Gabrielle had led her whole life stuck underground and when she hadn't been underground she had been a warrior going from place to place. No one had ever offered her marriage let alone an engagement and she really didn't want to push her in to it, it felt too early. Perhaps in hindsight she should have waited a little longer to tell everyone that she had a new consort but at the same time it had felt so right. She wanted Gabrielle to feel as much her equal as possible she didn't want her to feel in any way that she was on the outside. She hated that not so long ago that she had called her a stupid animal and she wanted to do everything and anything to make it up to her. The truth was that despite Gabrielle's actions in the androphonomania massacre she had done terrible things to her people, because of her, her people had ended up as trophies, pelts and mounted displays and knowing that pained her heart as she had given out those orders. It was her word that had caused the deaths of hundreds of intelligent beings.
That was her dishonour and she couldn't claim that she had tried to stop it, unlike Gabrielle who had disobeyed the Imperial Council by saving human children at great risk to herself. She leaned forward meeting her lips again in a gentle kiss she wanted to put her mind at rest in anyway she could. "We can go as slowly as you want we don't have to rush anything Gabrielle, we can take our time I promise you that." Gabrielle left the other woman's lips for a moment. "Thank you." She knew she wasn't completely at ease but she didn't want to think about it all right now she was tired and she wanted to enjoy the other woman's gentle and loving attention before sleep caught up with her. She was tired now but she was fighting it as she just wanted to remain awake. It had been so long since she'd felt this loved and she needed to embrace this moment, more than she needed to breath, she met the other woman's lips sinking in to the bliss once more.
End of part 92
Silvermoonlight.
My apologises for the late update Christmas was crazy for me, I hope you all enjoyed this :D