A PAINFUL SHIFTING IN THE UNDERCURRENT

I should be asleep I was asleep for a long time but I was forced out of my dreams because of the thoughts playing on my mind. She wants to marry me? I know its part of the position as a consort and I know it's a formality but it scares me so much, it's a path I've never walked before. No one has ever asked for my hand in marriage let alone said that I will be engaged to them up until this point. It just feels to fast and my mind is trying so hard to keep up. I didn't think she would announce this now just like that, I know why she did it she wants me to feel as much her equal as possible, yet I just feel so out of sorts with the whole idea. The last time I ever thought about marriage was two years before I was captured by slavers. I remember my father talking about it to me and my sister and saying that he that he didn't care who we loved be it a man or woman so long as we were happy and that they acted as a good partner should and treated us right.

It seems so distant now like so many of my childhood memories of that time, they are like smoke I could touch them with my fingers yet they fade away so quickly. I don't even know if I'd make a good wife, I have nothing to offer other than my royal status not that this really means much, unlike the other royals I have no wealth to give. My family has no dowry to offer other than wooden carvings they were never that wealthy and have not seen my family in such a long time and I know that if they see that I am a werewolf that it will bring them great I shame. Unlike the Greek royals I cannot offer estate, I own none of the werewolf cities, they are all owned by the Imperial Council and out of my control. So I can't even offer them. I hate that I'm not a wealthy royal but I guess I only have myself to blame, I never liked or cared for wealth and I don't care for gold the only gold I have is the colour of my fur as pathetic as that sounds. I have nothing to offer this woman and it pains me, how can she want me when I cannot give her anything of real value?

I should be happy right now and not thinking about this but I can't help it. I just made love to this woman who is clearly a very skilled lover she was gentle and kind with her touches and caresses and when it was over I felt so content. The only other person who ever loved me with this kind of devotion was Damokles and I feel guilty for bringing this up now in my mind because I know the connection I felt with this woman felt like something more which I can't put my finger on. It felt so deep I didn't have say what I wanted it was like she knew what I wanted I have never had that before in my life, it's a completely new experience to me. I feared this night for so long because what I suffered with Adrienne, she tainted that joy on so many levels when it came to sleeping with other women, yet Xena brought back that feeling I missed so much with her tenderness and devotion. You would think that I would welcome this idea of being with this woman as her consort yet I still fear it so much. I want to stop thinking about this it's just before dawn and I really want to go back to sleep and I just can't, its so frustrating.

Gabrielle turned over watching as the older woman came in to view, she was asleep facing her, her arm wrapped around her waist. She looked down catching sight of the faded scar on her chest where the arrow had once hit her. She eased up her other hand running her fingers down her cheek as she looked at her face which was filled with peaceful dreams. She moved her hand away as she sat up easing the cover off her naked body while easing the other woman's hand gently free of her waist trying not to wake her. She leaned over taking hold of her underwear pulling it on then grabbed the fur skin close by wrapping it around her shoulders as she made her way over to balcony. In all the time she'd been here she had never once gone out on to the other woman's balcony, despite that their balconies were side by side. She caught sight of a set of chairs and a table as well as four thick fluffy cushions which you could sit on and be in the shade.

She sat herself down on one of the thick cushions looking up at the sun which still hadn't risen in the sky she could see the first rays of light breaching the sky somewhere in the distance. She breathed in pulling her knees up resting her head on them, she looked up catching sight of the first birds which were Swallows appeared in the sky flying high above her. It felt like time was passing very slowly as they flew high above her darted in and out of the palace roof tops swerving unhindered by the mortal world. Expressing the joys of freedom and speed which no human or werewolf could match as they couldn't fly. What would it be like fly? To just open your wings and sour over forests and oceans and see the world from above in all its glory, if she had one wish she would love to know what it was to fly, just once to see the world from a birds eye view.

"Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle turned sharply as her thoughts were shattering she looked up at the tall woman who was standing behind her wrapped in her velvet robe the concern in her eyes. She lowered her gaze to the floor feeling the guilt hit home the last thing she had wanted to do was wake the other woman up. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." Xena breathed in deeply as she sat down on the cushion next to the other woman she had been asleep but she had felt the need to open her eyes. When she had, she had found herself alone with her arm outstretched over the empty bed which had worried her. She had sat up only to see the younger woman seated on the balcony cushions which had been a huge relief. She looked up meeting her green eyes. "I wasn't sleeping just resting." She knew that wasn't the truth but she didn't want her lover to know that. Her lover it was so nice to use that word again, it had been so long. She shaped put of her thoughts as it hit her that may be the younger woman was sitting here because of what had happened last night.

Maybe she was having second thoughts about their relationship, maybe she hadn't enjoyed last night. She breathed in as she spoke unable to keep the uncertain out of her tone. "Are you all right I mean your not." She paused trying to ignore the pain in her heart as her voice hit the air. "Having second thoughts about last night are you? I know I move to fast at times, it's always been one of my problems." Gabrielle raised her hand. "No I wasn't thinking about last night at all, last night was wonderful and I have no regrets I'd do it all again in heartbeat." Xena felt the breath she had been holding leave her throat as the relief hit home as she put a hand on the other woman's leg. "Then what's on your mind?" Gabrielle looked at the floor for a long moment before speaking. "Why do you want to marry me?"

She breathed in painfully. "I know it's not all about politics or photocell." Xena blinked in surprise this was the last thing she had expected Gabrielle to say she felt a warm smile form. "I want to marry you because I love you Gabrielle and as I said last night there's no rush, we can take this step by step no ones going to force you to do anything you don't want to do." Gabrielle shook her head sadly. "I don't think I'd make a good wife to you." Xena leaned closer to her she couldn't help but be shocked by the younger woman's words. "What makes you say that?" Gabrielle breathed in painfully. "I have nothing to offer you." Xena looked at her for a long moment trying to ignore her inner confusion. "What do you mean, offer me?" Gabrielle tensed painfully. "In werewolf custom you offer your wife or husband something of value."

She breathed in trying to ignore her inner pain. "I have nothing to offer you, I have no gold or jewels I have no estate. I can't even give you a piece of my werewolf kingdom because I don't own any off it right now the Imperial Council does." She put a hand on her face. "I only have royal title and none of the wealth of the other Greek royals therefore I'm not fit to be your wife, until I have gained something that holds value to you." Xena pulled back she was utterly shocked by the other woman's statement she hadn't thought that this would be a problem. She didn't want a dowry she didn't want riches from the younger woman ether and she didn't care that she didn't have any estate. Sadly though she could see the other woman's under confidence was showing through once more she thought that because she wasn't on par with the other Greek royals that she wasn't worthy to be her consort. She looked up as a thought suddenly crossed her mind. "If you want to give me something, then let it be your gold."

Gabrielle breathed in painfully clearly her thoughts had been correct she didn't have enough to offer as the older woman wanted her coin. "You want my coin, the ones I keep in my room?" Xena shook her head. "No I don't care for the coin in your room." Gabrielle turned sharply feeling the confusion hit home. "I have no other gold on me the Imperial Council has it you'll have to wait until I've dethroned them till you can have it!" Xena shook her head. "I'm not talking about their gold, I don't care for it ether." Gabrielle looked up once more now feeling completely out of her element. "Then what gold are you talking about?" Xena felt her smile widen as she eased up her hand running it through her lover's long blonde hair letting it spill through her fingers. "I want the gold of fur it means more to me than treasure." Gabrielle felt herself freeze as she met the other woman's gaze. "You want…my fur?" Xena leaned over so she was close to her ear. "Yes I want your fur, its gold isn't it?"

Gabrielle stared at her she felt completely lost she had no idea their conversation would go this way and now all she could do was utter the one word that made up her reply. "Yes." Xena eased up her hand. "Your fur in my eyes shows your true worth, if there is anything in your soul that speaks to me then it's that, I want to be able to touch it and stroke it till the day I die." Gabrielle snapped out of her confusion as what the other woman was asking for started to sink in. "You want my fur?" Xena raised her eyebrow. "Yes that's the gift I desire from you I ask for nothing else." Gabrielle breathed in, feeling the warmth in her heart which was truly up lifting this was all her lover wanted as a gift her fur? She knew she couldn't deny her anything she wanted such a simple gift and nothing more and nothing less. "It's yours."

Xena put both her arms around her waist as she eased her in to her lap she looked up at the sky which was now much brighter. "Don't ever think that you could never be a good wife Gabrielle, because you will be and when that day comes and the crown is placed on your head, every one else will know it as well." Gabrielle leaned up against her. "I hope so." Xena looked up at the sun light. "I know they will." Gabrielle felt her eyes dart as a thought crossed her mind. "You know your people are going to find it strange that I'm referred to as a king when I'm not male, since Horn Hind is a genderless term." Xena felt a smirk form. "Well you know we could have some fun with them before we explain it and I feel its only right that your title should remain as it's what your race knows you by, to call you Queen wouldn't work it would just cause even more confusion to them." Gabrielle raised her eyebrows. "I get the feeling that you like a little confusion from time to time." Xena pulled her closer. "Yes I guess I do, I think it makes things interesting."

8

Akil looked up sharply hearing a loud banging on the heavy iron doors he eased up the hot piece of bronze he was smiting eyeing his ageing father who was asleep in the chair opposite. He rolled his eyes watching as the rest of the family carried on eating around the large table opposite, great another visitor they did know that his mother Jacinda was out right now as she was visiting the Imperial Council. He eyed the ancient wall paintings around him which had been here ever since the first white werewolf had taken his place next to the Emerald Hind as his advisor. The home had beautiful tapestries and old wooden furniture all pieces of history them selves showing the families long loyal legacy to the werewolf race. He lowered his gaze he hoped that his mother would be back soon. He had noticed that she had been rather melancholy these past few days but when he'd asked what was wrong she'd just given him a smile and said not to concern himself and that she was just contemplating things of no concern and that he shouldn't be worried.

Though his mother had the gift to for see events in the future he didn't, only his brother Halirrhothius had it. His younger sister also didn't have the gift it seemed only one child ever inherited it. He eyed the hot piece of metal in his hand which was a red hot sword point which he'd been working on for a while it was a gift for the Horn Hind when she returned. There were many rumours floating around now that she would be returning soon as she had been found in Corinth. The details were sketchy but from what he had heard she was in the Empress's care and no harm had come to her. He turned eyeing his older brother who was talking with their cousin. "Sounds like they want to speak to you Halirrhothius, after all you have the gift not me." Halirrhothius stood up from the table smiling. "Well I'll deal with it then little brother, as you are always so lazy." Akil smirked putting the flaming sword back in to the fire. "Of cause I'm lazy." Halirrhothius moved over to the doors opening them slowly. He breathed in as ten werewolf warriors all led by a light brown haired man walked in to the room, he knew this man he was called Bastiaan. "Can I help you?"

Bastiaan nodded causing the men behind him to slam both doors shut behind him pulling the heavy bolt across, he felt his cold smile widen. "So this is the White family's home?" Halirrhothius turned watching as his sister stood up with her husband the confusion in her eyes. "Yes this is the White family's home." Bastiaan looked up catching sight of the pure white walls, paintings, and velvet tapestry which adorned the back wall. Everything around him was an antique from the chairs to the goblets and decorative cooking pot which was over the fire close by. He breathed what grandeur and beauty shame it was all about to all be destroyed but then again he had never cared for ancient werewolf history. In fact he was glad to get this order he'd never cared for the White family they were all pitiful relics of a by gone age in werewolf sociality and they were no longer needed. The Imperial Council were the true rulers and these people were just in their way.

He moved over to the table picking up one of the goblets which was close to a young child ignoring the cold look which the old man gave him who was sitting in the chair close by. He took hold of the wine jug filling his goblet he picked up taking a long drink enjoying the flavour which rang of an expensive product. He slowly put the goblet down feeling a cold smile form. "Very nice flavour must be expensive." Halirrhothius folded his arms he felt a deep disgust over the man's actions it was very rude to take from a table with out being offered the food or drink first. "Look I do not know why you're here but my mother is not around right now she's with the Imperial Council and my gift is not as strong as hers yet, I'm still in training." Bastiaan shook his head. "Oh I have no interest in your mother, though I will say that she is the reason I'm here though." He paused easing out a bloody card throwing it on the table in front of him. "Your mother was very foolish, she over stepped her mark."

Halirrhothius eased out his hand taking the bloody card eyeing it, it was an image of Gabrielle the Golden Hind but the card was covered in blood. "I fail to see your meaning in this card." He threw it back watching as it landed in front of the brown haired man. He could tell now that everyone in his house was becoming nervous. Bastiaan slammed his hand down on the card picking it up. "Oh I think you do Shaman but it you're not willing to confess, then it will be your undoing." He put the card away sighing aloud as he eased out a long sword with a razor sharp edge making a single which caused his men to stand in front of the door. "Your mother has already paid with her life, for her betrayal." He ignored the looks of horror and shock as they spread across the room. "Your mother was helping Horn Hind in her rebellion." He watched as a cold hate full look filled Jacinda's husbands face as he got up from his chair reaching for an old sword the pain in his eyes as his wife's death sunk in. "The Imperial Council saw it fit to silence her." He smiled making a second signal causing all his warriors to draw their swords. "It is a shame really."

He paused watching as the smith raised his red hot blade which was still smoking. "I kind of liked the old bitch but I confess I have never believed in profits, seers or even Sharman's, werewolf sociality does not need them just as we do not need the Golden Hind." Halirrhothius raised an eyebrow. "You are a crazy bastard, the Golden Hind is king!" Bastiaan smirked as he looked up seeing that the old man was now fully out of his arm chair with his sword in his hand. "No the Golden Hind is a figure head and a worthless one at that and she's about to become a myth just like all of you and your house." Halirrhothius raised his staff. "You wouldn't dare kill us!" Bastiaan smirked as he raised his sword high admiring its gleaming blade. "No that's where you very much mistaken I would kill all off you, your not important to me and as I've said before you are a relic and werewolf sociality really doesn't need you anymore."

End of part 93

Silvermoonlight

Not many chapters left folks, seven in all, thank you everyone for your kind words reviews favs and follows :)