Grow Up!

Early the next morning, before breakfast had been served in the Great Hall, Severus was standing in Dumbledore's office with the Headmaster beside him, listening to the three Marauders give him awkward yet sincere apologies for almost killing him last night. He was surprised at how good it felt to have an apology from them, to have the recognition that he was worthy of an apology from the oh-so-smug Marauders.

" . . .and well, I'm really sorry, Snape—I mean Severus—we went too far and well, it won't happen again," James finished, managing to look contrite despite the pout that tugged at his lower lip. To his eternal shock, he found he really did mean what he said, he had only intended to prank the Slytherin, to try and make him look like a fool so Lily would dump him, he had never intended for Severus to be in danger, hadn't even considered that he might have been, until Remus had started to break down the door. James shivered. Though he would never admit it, that sight would haunt him forever, and he was glad he had gotten Snape away. He still didn't like the other boy, but he would have never wanted him to die. Especially not like that.

"Apology accepted, Potter," Severus replied and gave him a slight nod.

"Well, I hope you all have learned your lesson," Dumbledore said sternly. "You three still have detention to serve and essays to write, you may start on them after breakfast. Severus, you may go."

"Thank you, sir," Severus said, then went out of the office and down to the infirmary, where Lily was still confined on bed rest.

Madam Pomfrey allowed him to visit with her for a whole half-an-hour, and after he had spent a few minutes holding her hand and hugging her, he proceeded to tell her about what had gone on in the Shrieking Shack, after first swearing her to silence. Lily was both shocked and furious.

"Oh, Sev! You could have died! How could they have done something so . . .so awful, not to mention stupid! Just wait till I can get out of bed and have my wand back. I'll show them a good prank, all right, the miserable bounders!"

"Shhh, Lily!" Severus whispered, though he couldn't repress a grin at the way Lily was so ready to defend him. "We don't want Madame Pomfrey to send me away because I'm making you upset."

"Oh, right." Lily sucked in a breath and composed herself. "But I really want to beat all of them till they howl. Except Remus. Poor thing, it must be terrible to live with a curse like that. No wonder he's so shy and quiet and so withdrawn and sickly as the full moon approaches."

"Lupin is all right. He just has lousy taste in friends," Severus acknowledged. Then he handed her the card he had made her and watched her face light up. "You are so beautiful when you smile, Lily."

"Really? Funny, because I thought the same about you, Sev. When you smile you make my knees go weak."

"Oh? Then I guess I'll have to keep doing that more often," he laughed, then he blew her a kiss, because he wasn't allowed to kiss her for real since she was sick.

But the tender moment was spoiled when Madam Pomfrey stuck her head out of her office and said, "Mr. Snape, visiting hours are up for the morning. Run along now and go eat breakfast. You may return and see Lily again after class."

Biting back a groan, Severus reluctantly bid Lily goodbye, promising to return as soon as he could. "I'll . . .umm . . .bring my homework and yours and we can do it together."

"Aww, Sev! You're sweet." Lily smiled, and blew him a kiss in return."Now I won't have to worry about falling behind."

"Right. See you later and feel better, Lil." Then he was out the door, going to meet Reg for breakfast.

"How is Lily doing?" Reg asked over his plate of eggs and ham.

"She's recovering," Severus said, slowly eating his egg and bacon sandwich. "I told her what happened and she's ready to roast Potter over a slow fire. Sirius too, I think."

Reg smirked. "Good. I'm glad it's not me she's steamed at. She's got some temper, Sev. How do you survive it?"

"I am very careful to not make her mad," his friend admitted. Then he waved his wand and cast a spell of his own invention that would prevent them from being overheard called Muffliato. "Potter thinks that all he has to worry about is Dumbledore's detention. But he's forgotten about Lily."

"Not for long," Reg predicted, and chuckled wickedly. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for the Marauders at all.

Two days later:

James straightened from his crouched position upon the floor, where he had been scrubbing the tiles in the Trophy Room on his hands and knees without magic, part of his detention for nearly killing Snape, as handed out by Filch. Filch, who was often the victim of the Marauders pranks, was only too happy to make Potter, Black, and Pettigrew scrub floors and toilets until their hands fell off. "Bout time the little brats got what was coming to 'em," the steward said, his eyes gleaming in satisfaction. "A bit o' hard work will learn them that it's not all fun and games at school."

Sirius, who was across the room, made faces at Filch behind his back, making James smile even while he scrubbed. At last the floor was finished, washed, buffed and polished. James stood up and rubbed his lower back, which felt knotted, and said to Sirius, "Merlin, but I'm glad that's over with. My back feels like a giant stomped on it."

"Or a werewolf," Sirius remarked, then his eyes widened at the person who entered the Trophy Room.

"You're a riot, Black," Remus Lupin said, his eyes glittering with temper. He looked weary and drawn, as he always did after transforming, his blond hair falling over his ears like a shaggy dog's, it needed to be trimmed again. "That's so funny that I forgot to laugh."

Sirius winced, he could tell that Remus was very very angry, a rarity for the young werewolf, who made an effort to control his temper, and who was normally easygoing and calm. "Moony, let us explain—"

"Shut up, Sirius!" growled Lupin, and for an instant, his warm brown eyes turned a feral yellow. "Dumbledore told me what almost happened—how you put Snape inside the shack with me like a . . .a bloody sacrificial goat! He said I almost . . .bit him," Remus hissed, a look of horror and shame passing over his face. "How could you do that? I thought you were my friends."

"We are your friends, Moony," James began. "It was a prank, we never meant to hurt Snape."

"No? You know what I am, what I can do when I'm under the influence," Remus cried angrily. "I'm not some lady's pet poodle, damn it! I'm dangerous! I could have . . .killed him, killed another human being . . .and you would have turned me into a murderer!" He turned away, shaking with the force of his emotions.

"Remus, old boy . . ."James moved to pat his shoulder only to have the werewolf spin about and snarl at him.

"Back off, Potter! I used to think I could trust you but now I'm not so sure."

"Remus, of course you can trust me!" exclaimed James, hurt. "I'm your best friend."

"Some friend, making me nearly kill someone," Remus snapped. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"We weren't," Sirius admitted. "But it was Peter's idea to throw Snape in there. We figured if we could prove Snape a coward then maybe Lily would ditch him and date James."

Remus stared at him. "So that's it. This was all some stupid ploy to get Lily Evans. I should have known. God forbid James shouldn't have what he wants." Remus took a deep breath. "You know what I think? I think that Snape is braver than all of us put together, because he at least never pretends to be something he's not, and Lily's lucky to have a friend who puts her first and not himself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius demanded.

"Figure it out, Black, since you're so bloody brilliant." Remus growled.

"We never meant for Snivelly to get hurt. Hell, we even apologized to the greasy git."

"But did you mean it? And what about me? Don't you think I deserve an apology?" the werewolf asked shortly.

Then he turned and walked out of the room, leaving his two friends staring after him.

"Bloody hell, Sirius!" James swore. "That was so not one of your best ideas."

"My idea? It was Wormtail's, not mine! So blame him."

"I'm blaming all of us. Because we were all at fault." James reproved.

"Don't you start too," groaned Sirius. "Come on, let's go shower and get some lunch. I'm starving." He began to walk towards the doors. "Don't worry. Lupin will get over it."

But James was not so sure.

Remus gave them the cold shoulder all week long, refusing to speak to his friends unless he absolutely had to. Since they were separated during class and mealtimes, James had no time to try and convince Remus to forgive them, because as soon as class was over, Remus left the Gryffindor common room and went to the library or somewhere else that he was forbidden to go to.

And if that were not enough, as soon as she was released from the Hospital Wing, Lily Evans marched up to him and punched him so hard she knocked him flat on his arse right in the middle of the corridor. "That's for Severus, Potter!" she snarled. "Lose your petty vendetta against him once and for all and just grow the hell up!"

James rubbed his jaw, it throbbed and ached like seven hells. He had to admit, Lily had a damn good right hook. "Evans, why are you always defending him?" he managed to say through the pain. "Can't you see what he is?"

Lily approached him, and glared down at him, unmindful of the stares they were getting from other students walking by. "I know what he is, Potter. And he is a better person than you'll ever be."

"What? How can you say that? He's a bloody snake, he's a Death Eater wannabe, how can you want to hang around him?"

"I could ask the same of you, hanging around delinquents like Black and Pettigrew. Don't act so high and mighty, Potter. You're no better than anyone else."

"I'm better than Snivellus!" James spat, slowly climbing to his feet, one hand pressed to his jaw.

Lily laughed. "Not in my opinion, Potter. You're nothing but a spoiled shallow bully, a coddled brat who thinks he can charm his way through life because he was born to money and a pureblood Name. Well, I have news for you. Your charm doesn't work on me and actions speak louder than words and yours were . . .reprehensible!"

"Reprehensible?" James repeated. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Look it up in the dictionary! Stay away from me, Potter. And stay away from Severus. Because if you don't, I'm going to hex you like nobody's business. I'm not afraid of you, Mr. Big Bad Marauder. Go and find some bimbo who likes your pureblooded arrogant self and leave me in peace."

"I don't believe this! You actually think he's better than me? A scummy Slytherin who hates everything you are?"

"Severus doesn't hate me, or the fact that I'm a Muggleborn, Potter. He isn't like you, he's never hexed a student for the fun of it, or humiliated them for a laugh in front of the whole school. You think everything you do is a big joke. Well, this time nobody's laughing, Potter. Especially me. One day you'll realize that everything you thought you knew about Severus Snape was wrong and he really is the better man."

"That'll be the day!"

Lily looked at him coldly. "I look forward, James Emerson Potter, to proving you wrong, and watching that arrogant smirk get wiped off your face. There's a lot more going on here than you realize, Marauder!" And with that, she spun about and marched away.

James remained where he was, rubbing his jaw, at a loss for words, for once.

As the weeks went on, and the holidays drew nearer, the Marauders were kept busy serving their detentions and studying for their end of term exams. Because they were so often separated, James had plenty of time to brood over what Lily had said and he found that her words rankled. He didn't like the image she had painted of him—that of the spoiled brat bully who only cared about having a good time. Was that how he appeared to her? To others? He had never really thought about the image he had, since he was well-liked and had plenty of girls interested in him. All except the one he really wanted.

What made matters worse was that he saw Lily with Snape every time he turned around, it seemed. He came out of the library and saw them snogging in the hallway, went out for a walk and there they were holding hands and giving each other dreamy glances. He was surprised they didn't sit at the same lunch table, but at least Lily had some decorum, not to drool over the snake in front of everyone. It made James terribly frustrated and desperate to prove to Lily that he was the right one, and that Snape was no better than a trashy con artist. Whenever he saw Snape with his arms about Lily, it made him long to punch the greasy git's face into a wall, and only the threat of being expelled made him keep his temper.

Sirius could tell James was obsessing and did his best to snap him out of it. "Y'know, Prongs, there are other girls out there." He told him one night while they were in the library, ostensibly studying for Charms. "Evans isn't the only girl at Hogwarts. Maybe you should stop mooning over her and take a look around again. Mary MacDonald seems to fancy you, I've seen her looking a time or two."

James sighed. "You don't get it, Padfoot. I don't want another girlfriend, because none of them are Lily."

"James, you're getting a tad bit obsessed," Remus put in, he had finally started speaking to them again after a whole three weeks of stony silences. "You already told us she basically said for you to get lost, that she prefers Snape, so why don't you just . . .let it go? Why torture yourself over something that isn't meant to be?"

"Because she's wrong, dammit! Snape's playing her for a fool and she's going to end up hurt and—"

"—then you'll be there to pick up the pieces?" Wormtail guessed, smiling slyly.

"Yes!"

"And what makes you think she'll want you then, Prongs?" Remus inquired. "I think it's a lost cause and you should forget her and concentrate on your studies and becoming an Auror. Like Sirius says, there are other fish in the sea."

But James shook his head stubbornly. "I can't do that, Lupin. I'm crazy about her, I tell you. Snivellus will never make her happy, he's a dark wizard for Merlin's sake! She just won't see it."

"Maybe she does see it, James," Remus said suddenly. "Maybe she knows and is trying to save him from himself. Ever think of that?"

"Then she's crazier than I am. Those who walk the Dark Road are lost forever. Nobody's ever returned from there."

Remus frowned. "You don't believe in forgiveness and redemption then?"

James shrugged. "Once a dark wizard, always a dark wizard."

"And once a werewolf, always a werewolf?" Remus demanded sharply.

"Moony, that's different."

"How? I become a raving beast at the full moon, if I could I would hunt down women and children and eat them," Remus hissed, checking to make sure no one else was about. "How is that different from what the Death Eaters do?"

"Because they chose it and you didn't," Sirius put in.

"Don't I? Sirius, when I shift, I still have a part of my own mind. I might be crazed with hunger, but I can still think. And I think all the time about eating people." Remus's face was twisted with anguish. "All the time. That night . . .when you put Snape there, we were only separated by a flimsy wooden door . . .and I could smell and practically taste him . . .and I nearly went totally feral . . .all I wanted was to rip and tear him open . . .you can't imagine what that's like . . .if the door hadn't been there I would have done it . . .I would have . . .and what's worse, I would have liked it . . ." Remus's voice was a harsh rasp. "So you see, I know what it's like to have darkness within you and to have to fight against it."

"What's that got to do with Snape?" asked James gently.

"Because maybe Snape's fighting against it too," Remus stated. "And Lily's helping him, like you helped me. So that's why I think you should leave them be, James. She obviously cares for him a great deal, maybe even loves him. I think you should stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about what she wants instead."

"But what she wants isn't good," James argued.

"For you. But this isn't just about you. You should at least try and see her side of it, mate."

"No! Then I'll lose her and I'm not going to let that happen."

Remus cast him a look of exasperation. "You're too stubborn, Potter. Ask yourself this—why do you want her? Is it because you like her as a person or because Snape has her and your pride's hurt by being shown up by a Slytherin with shady acquaintances? Think about it, Prongs. But in the meantime, you need to finish your Charms homework." The prefect tapped the other's blank parchment pointedly.

James and Sirius both glared at him. Then they stopped talking and began to write.

Dec 17th, 1975

Snow blew softly about the train station as the students boarded, going home for the Christmas break. Most of them were muffled from head to toe in long coats and scarves with their House insignia on it and hats and earmuffs. James watched jealously as Lily hopped on board the Express, laughing and joking with Severus and Regulus. Her emerald eyes sparkled like rare jewels in the morning sun and her fiery hair whipped about her face, haloing her like a medieval angel in a DaVinci painting.

He bit his lip hard, trying to control the surge of desire and jealously that bubbled up from within him whenever he chanced to see the two together. His obsession with the red-haired witch had grown worse as the term had gone on, until now it raged like an inferno within him. He truly did regret nearly killing Snape in the Shrieking Shack and had learned his lesson about taking a prank too far, but a tiny corner of his heart couldn't help wishing that Snape would die, thus freeing Lily and allowing him to court her.

He followed after the three friends, dragging his trunk up the steps and into the compartment he usually shared with the other Marauders. Sirius was chatting to Remus about how boring his holiday was probably going to be, since at home he had to obey all of his parents tiresome rules. "Maybe I'll come spend Christmas at your house, Prongs. Your folks won't mind, will they?"

James shook his head, his mind was still filled with Lily. "No. You know they consider you like a son to them, Sirius. Come and spend the holiday at the manor, if you want."

"Can I come too?" Peter asked, not wanting to be left out. "My parents will be working and won't even be home most days."

"Sure. You want to come too, Moony? We'll make it a Marauders Christmas," James invited.

"I would like to, but with the full moon coming up . . .it's best if I stay home," Remus declined. "But thank you for the offer, James. Maybe next time."

"You're welcome, mate." James said, not letting on that he was rather relieved that Remus wouldn't be there, because he would try and talk him out of his latest scheme to win Lily back from Snivellus.

As he had boarded the train, a crazy idea had come to him—so crazy that he hardly dared to contemplate it. He was going to follow Lily home and try and talk to her again. Maybe in a more informal setting, she would be willing to listen to him. Of course, it meant he would have to fly unseen after her, but James didn't mind. He loved flying and was curious to see what a Muggle neighborhood looked like.

He quickly pulled Sirius aside while Remus was in the bathroom on the ride to King's Cross Station, and explained his plan. Sirius, who loved insane ideas like that, was all for it. "You go, James. I know you can do it, mate. You're worth ten of Snivellus any day of the week."

"Damn right I am!" declared James passionately. "Just tell Remus and Peter that I had an emergency and had to go home quick. Then I'll follow Lily in her car and wait till she's alone and we'll talk."

"Sounds like a good plan. Good luck!"

James smiled smugly and sat back in his seat, counting the hours till the train pulled into King's Cross.

About three hours later, they had arrived, and James managed to get his things together and find his house elf, Bilbo, on the platform. "Tell Mum and Dad I'll be going out to dinner with Sirius, okay? Here's everything except my broom."

"Yes, Master James. I will inform them directly," Bilbo bowed and then took his trunk and vanished.

James mounted his broom, cast a few concealment charms, and hovered, watching to see where Lily was.

He spotted her hugging a tall man and a rather plump woman with the same shade of red hair, obviously her parents. To his shock, he saw Snape standing next to them, and also receiving a hug from Mrs. Evans and a friendly clap on the shoulder from Mr. Evans. Bloody hell, but they know him and they seem to like him. Wonder if he cast a Friendship Charm on them or something?

He watched as they all went through the wall and followed. Mr. Evans led the way to a blue car, and all of them got into it, even Snape. Only then did James recall that Snape lived next to Lily. The car started and James followed.

At first it was easy to tail them, since there weren't many cars like that at the station so late in the afternoon. The weather had turned chilly and snow was starting to fall again, obscuring James' vision a little. He wished he'd brought his Quidditch goggles.

Snow spat in front of his eyes and he had to keep brushing it away, squinting, he spotted the blue car making its way down the road. He followed, grateful that no Muggle seemed inclined to look up too often. He wished he could cast a warming charm on himself, for the air was so much cooler that he was quickly becoming chilled even through his heavy coat and scarf.

Twice he lost the car due to heavy traffic, but found it again about ten minutes later. Hunched over his broom, he doggedly flew all the way to Yorkshire, until they reached the town of High Bentham and turned down the narrow cobbled way to Spinner's End. James rubbed his frozen hands together and watched longingly as the Evans' and Snape got out of the car.

"Care for some hot cider or cocoa, Sev?" asked Mrs. Evans, stamping her feet on the mat.

"Thanks, but I need to get home. My mum will be waiting for me." Severus replied, his voice slightly muffled by the striped silver and green scarf he wore. He took his trunk out of the boot of the car. "Thanks again for picking me up."

"You're welcome, luv! Stop by any time!" She gave him another hug.

"I'll see you later, Lily," he said and hugged her.

"Bye, Sev. Tell your mum I said hi, okay?" She kissed him lightly and then released him.

James ground his teeth. Just the sight of them kissing made his blood boil.

Snape turned and made his way down the sidewalk to the next house on the street, where he let himself in with a key.

As soon as his rival was gone, James skirted the property, trying to find somewhere he could land and wait until Lily was somewhere alone so he could speak to her. He noticed there was a tree house in the backyard in an old oak tree. He landed and quickly climbed up the rope.

The little tree house was a bit of a tight fit, but James managed to wriggle his way inside. His head just brushed the ceiling, and he felt like Hagrid must feel, trying to sit down beside the old crate that Lily and her sister must have used as a table. He found an old blanket inside another crate, it was cold, but once he wrapped it about himself, it warmed and soon he fell asleep, worn out from the flight and the cold.

He woke to the sound of voice raised in a quarrel, one of them a boy's and the other a girl's. "I told you and told you, I will not go out when you're like this!" the girl cried angrily. "You're drunk and I don't date walking beer bottles!"

James sat up so quickly he rapped his head on the ceiling. Huh? Sounds like Lily and Snape are having an argument. And he's drunk? Ha! I knew he was no good.

James quickly squirmed out of the tree house entrance and half-climbed and half-jumped down to the ground. He raced around the corner of the house, it was now full dusk and the first stars had just come out to play. The ground was covered with a light dusting of snow, enough to make the trees and shrubs sparkle. James wasn't paying attention to that though. He was more concerned with what was going on in the drive.

He could see a girl being pressed up against the side of a cherry red convertible, a tall boy was holding her there and yelling, "You can't tell me what to do, Petunia! It's your fault I had one too many, since you're so frigid you won't show a guy a good time!"

James paused, his brain slowly registering that this wasn't Lily. This had to be her sister, Petunia, he had heard Lily speak of her often enough to Alice and Cindy. And it appeared that she was being harassed by someone . . .a boyfriend, perhaps?

He stopped trying to analyze the situation when he saw the tall boy draw his hand back and slap her across the face. Then he reacted, jumping on top of the bigger boy and dragging him off Petunia, who was half-crying and struggling to get away.

A/N: I know, another cliffie! But that's because the next chapter is going to be the start of part two of the story, which will be the new unlikely relationship between James and Petunia, the second major pairing of this book. Yes, Sev and Lily will still be in here, so don't worry.