Thanks to the awesome people who gave me their questions: Cheshire Kitty 101, Nova'sGirl, Kindness to Everyone and thing, and ArtemisBAMF1218!
Reviewers:
Nova'sGirl: Sorry if that was unclear, but you'll find out why below. And yeah, I like Abner too! Thanks for the questions! And I have officially decided to write a short one-shot that will be Loki's fan fiction. So that'll be a real thing! Yay!
liv lokigirl: Thanks! I'm happy you liked it! Cool ideas, I may use a few of them! Oh and if you guys are going to do real Norse mythology, instead of the Marvel version, you should try the article: "8 things Marvel got wrong about Norse Mythology."
I'm a Jesus freak: Sorry about that, but I'm glad you liked it anyway!
IronFistRocks: I know right! I got the idea from the Monster's University movie! Sorry I couldn't do the readers meet characters! Hope you enjoy!
Guest: I thought so too, so thanks! And yup, according to the Marvel wiki that's his name. I was surprised when I saw it.
Felecia Wagner: Haha! Me too! Thanks! Keep reading and reviewing!
Kurt: I don't know what you mean, but since you reviewed on my earliest author's note, I'm guessing you mean am I working on taking it off the hold period. Yes. It's been off for a while. Sorry if that wasn't what you meant though!
Ameya: Yup! I love unicorns! And there is a book about a man-eating unicorn. I wouldn't recommend it, but it's called Bad Unicorn! As far as her parents...well...I'll leave that open-ended. But the answer is probably!
Cheshire Kitty 101: Thanks for the questions! And for spacing it out, it was much clearer. As far as you angry hound, I tried to give him regular bacon and he chewed up my computer mouse and also my lamp, so then I went to the store to get him Canadian bacon, and he was a lot more friendly! I have sent him on his way back to you in good health and with a full belly!
ArtemisBAMF1218: Well here it is! And thanks! It's taken a while, but I finally got here! Glad you liked the chapter, and I know right! Who would have thought it? I love doing annoying younger siblings! And I have noticed a pattern. I realized that most of my really annoying little kid characters are girls! I guess because I've been told that little girls are more annoying than little boys. And very bossy. And thanks for the complement on Who Knew.!I actually am in the middle of a Deadpool one-shot that will be posted sometime this week, so yeah. But I will use your idea about Loki and Scorpion!
Chapter 28: Longest Chapter in the Story!
Abner/Beetle:
Do you have a fear of librarians?
Um...no...of course not...WHY ARE YOU INTEROGATING ME!
Also, why won't you talk?
I talk all the time! I make as many jokes as Spiderman when I'm in costume! My mouth is a motor! Once I start talking, there's no stopping me! I just...you know...do it quietly...in case of librarians...
Because you just see librarians walking around?
They're everywhere man! EVERYWHERE!
Right...
I'm serious! Wait! Are you a librarian!? Or a spy for them!
What would that even be? A spy-brarian?
SO YOU ARE ONE! I have to go now...so long sucka!
Uh...bye?
Loki:
Have you posted your FanFiction yet?
Actually, I am going to post that amazing masterpiece either tomorrow, or the day after! And I'll have you know that I have about a million other fans queued up, just waiting to get my fanfiction!
Is that right? What other fans?
Well...I uh...I certainly can't just give you names...But I have a lot of them!
Don't worry, this is a private atmosphere. Just you and I. No one else will know if you give me names. I promise.
Ok. But only to grace you with the beautiful sound of my voice and presence!
Your presence makes a sound?
NO! Ahem, anyway...Laufey...is one of them.
Your frost giant dad? He reads fanfictions?
DUH! He loves them! Especially ones about Thor an Odin dying! So you know, hurt/comfort, without the comfort part!
That's creepy...I'm gonna go interview someone else now.
WHY DO YOU RUN AWAY EVERYTIME IT'S MY TURN TO ANSWER QUESTIONS!
Scorpion:
WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?!
Yes! Someone thinks I'm cute for once! Take that Daniel! Erm...I mean...I thank you for the honor of being proclaimed attractive, but I am a warrior at heart and cannot stray off my humble path to enlightenment. Yeah. That's it.
Are you sure?
Indeed. In fact, I recently finished an expedition to another mystic universe. It was divided into four nations, fire, earth, water, and air. I became prince of the fire nation under my alias: Zuko.
Oh, wasn't that televised?
Yes...but only to document clues...not to glorify me. At all.
You and Zuko don't really look alike...
I did a spell!
You can't do magic.
Maybe I can! Or maybe the Sorcerer Supreme did the spell, but it was still me! On the inside! ON THE INSIDE!
Right...you're lucky you're cute.
You really think so?
Thor:
Is your hair ever going to be cut?
You mock me mortal! My hair flows like the silk of a thousand suns and marks my rank!
Ok, but when are you gonna cut it?
NEVER!
Why not?
Because I have been informed by the man of spiders that Mid-Guardian females enjoy long hair!
So you want the chicks?
No! The offspring of poultry do not entice me! I seek mortal females! And they seek hair length!
Chicks is another word for human females. Used by guys. To annoy the girls.
Then what do you call poultry babies?
Chicks.
I see. Then I seek the mortal chicks who seek my blondness, not the poultry!
So you're copying Iron Fist?
NO! I, son of Odin, do not copy anyone! He is merely my inspiration.
Ok. That's cool and all. But not all girls like long blond hair.
ENOUGH OF THIS MOCKERY! TO ASGUARD!
Hey you can't just leave in the middle of an interview! THOR! Get back here! THOR!
Captain America:
why do you continue to serve America so Damn patriotic-ly?
Because I am Captain America.
But why?
To help citizens! Stop world hunger! And sell more glorifying comic books! Oh. Did I say that last part out loud?
Yes. Yes you did.
Heh heh. You're not going to tell anyone are you?
Give me fifty percent of your comic profit. Then we'll talk.
Ugh. Fine. I do have an image to uphold.
Anyway...have you seen how it should have ended: Captain America?
Yes.
What do you have to say for yourself?
I hate Batman and Superman. They're mean.
No, they're funny. Especially Batman.
Oh yeah, why is that?
BECAUS HE'S BATMAN!
Guardians of the Galaxy:
why the long superhero team name? Why not something Shorter, cuz it takes longer to say "Guardians of the Galaxy Attack!", then say maybe just "Guardian's Attack!"
Do you know how many other groups have 'guardians' in the title? Rise of the Guardians! Guardians of Gahoole! The Guardian! We have to specify exactly what type of guardians we are! Otherwise people will think we're a bunch of seasonal ornaments!
That's a good point. Groot, what do you think?
I am Groot.
Wow, you have such a way with words.
I am Groot!
Yes, yes. And what is the secret to solving world hunger?
I am Groot! I am Groot!
Now we know! Thank you!
Sam:
Will you date me? Please?
Seriously! The only time I get to come on these chapters is when people ask me questions! And the only questions are 'will you date me!?'
You just had a whole chapter a few updates ago!
Yeah...but still!
Will you though?
Sure, why not.
Spiderman:
will you date me? Please? I swear that I'm not a crazy fangirl for you. Or a villian trying to kill you.
I don't know...A lot of crazy fangirls say they aren't crazy fangirls...
PLEASE!
Um...I don't know how that'll look in my next movie...People like me dating Gwen or MJ. Not random fanfiction authors...
But it'll be really creative! The Amazing Spiderman 3: Kindness returns!
But you won't be returning from anything.
Yes but all the cool movie tiles have 'returns'.
Are you sure you're not a crazy fangirl?
NO! And Gwen is dead anyway!
Hey! We don't talk about that!
Will you date me!
You already asked that.
With great kindness comes great happiness!
Ooh! I like that! Sure, I'll date you!
Danny:
Danny, how did you get addicted to movies?
I was meditating one day and Sam was bored. I was the nearest victim- I mean...friend. Anyway, he wanted to see a new movie called, The Doll House. I did not understand why he would watch a film about children's toys. Until we watched the movie.
What happened?
Sam ran out of the theater when the Dollhouse ate a little girl. I stayed and finished it. It was quite good actually.
YOU'RE A PACIFIST! YOU CAN'T WATCH HORROR MOVIES!
But it was not real. And the monks do not believe in 'sugarcoating' life. Sometimes horror movies are needed to give you reality checks.
So now you like movies?
Indeed. I meant to thank Sam after getting back from the theater, but he was busy hiding under his covers.
Sam is brave!
The dollhouse had miniature bunnies.
Ah. I see.
NEXT QUESTION:
Do you have a secret stash of fortune cookies?
No...my proverbs are strictly from the monks of Kun'Lun!
Are you sure?
Indeed...but do not look into my closet.
Are there fortune cookies in there?
Um...no...
Lying is bad!
To pry into one's life is to welcome deceit.
Are those cookie crumbs on your mouth?
I have to go to a Rand Co. meeting now...Namaste!
Fortune cookie!
Deadpool:
Why do you have no morals? Also, how can I have no morals? I think we're in agreement that morals are stupid.
Morals? HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's hilarious! MORALS! Well the first step to not having them is to cut them out of your vocab! DUH!
Why don't you have any?
Because morals is another word for a conscience. And I left my conscience in a public bathroom somewhere a long time ago!
Okay...
And then I ate some Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
What was that?
That was shameless advertisement for mah NEW MOVIE!
Oh yeah. I hear you're working with Ryan Reynolds?
NOPE! He's working for me! Not with me! He's the understudy!
In case you get sick?
No. In case I'm on a top secret mission, un-aliving people!
Right. Makes sense.
NEXT QUESTION:
can we hang out some time you seem cool and fun. Also have you considered going from Red and Black to Midnight Purple and Blood red?
We can hang out, if you're cool with giving me the secret identities of every super group in SHIELD! Then we can hang. Oh. And you have to know how to wing things.
And the costume idea?
PURPLE IS FOR GIRLS AND I DON'T WANT COOTIES! I'll leave that idea to some fanfiction writer who wants to give me an OC as a sister.
Anything else you wanna say to the audience?
EAT BRIGHT YELLOW MONKEY DUST LOSERS! WHOOOOOO!
Ok then...
NEXT QUESTION:
Since Deadpool is life, Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?
Yup! His name is Dave. OH! STORY TIME! Ok so Dave was having an underworld party and only the coolest jerks got to go! AND HE INVITED ME! So I showed up about seventy minutes into the party because I'm fashionably late! And get this, everyone just left!
So I'm about to sleep Dave with the fishes when he introduces me to his grandma, Diva. And we just totally start sock hopping in the light of a blood moon, because that's the only type of moon they have down there!
Oh. That's weird.
Shhh...lay down your head! Listen to the calls of sirens and flamingoes! Reminiscence in the time of your childhood when you finally got the last word against that jerk you hate! Think about the putrid scent of fish sticks and amber grease!
Ugh!
And don't forget to watch my movie when it comes out! Otherwise I'll strap you to you to watch reruns of Dora over and over again!
Brilliant.
Oh my goodness! You have no idea how long this took! Literally about six or seven hours! Thank you guys so much for reviewing! Whether you do it faithfully or sparsely! I couldn't have gotten to 100 reviews without you guys! So please keep reviewing and I hope you guys enjoyed! Anyway...
Wolf out...