Part Three

The Most Dangerous Game

28

The Woes of Regulus Black

Severus was worried about Regulus. The younger Slytherin had been extremely quiet the entire train ride to Hogwarts, after initially saying hello to his friend. And he was not quiet because he was sleeping or studying. Regulus had taken a potions manual out of his trunk, but Severus could tell he wasn't reading it, simply staring down at it with a blank look. Severus knew that something must have happened at Grimmauld Place, and he wondered cynically if it had to do with Sirius. Most of Regulus' family problems originated with his older brother, who seemed to create havoc wherever he went. It was times like this that Severus was grateful he didn't have a sibling. Not when Reg came back from a holiday looking like his pet owl had died.

Sensitive to others emotions and familiar with wishing to hide what he felt, the older boy did not pry, beyond asking Reg once or twice if he was all right and did he want a drink or a snack from the trolley, since Reg hadn't answered the trolley witch.

"No thanks. I'm fine, Sev." Reg had said dispiritedly, and then turned and huddled against the window.

Severus nodded, bought himself a butterbeer and a Cauldron Cake and waited for Lily to come by. This time they had managed to snag a compartment to themselves, and so Lily could visit if she wished and no Slytherin would say anything.

Lily arrived about a half-an-hour into the train ride, along with Cindy, who was Reg's girlfriend. "Hi, Sev! Miss me?" Lily asked, smiling her signature grin.

"Always. You know that," he chuckled, giving her a quiet smile back. He reached out and stroked her hand, then patted the seat next to him.

Lily sat next to him, curling up against his shoulder. He inhaled the scent of her strawberry kiwi shampoo and felt as if he had been transported to heaven. His hand came up and he began to play with her fiery hair, running his fingers up and down it and twirling the sleek strands about his fingers. He adored stroking her hair, he found it extremely erotic. And it was less offensive to a girl in public than groping other parts of her.

Lily looked over at Reg and asked in concern, "What's the matter with Regulus? Is he sick?"

"No. He's just . . .I don't know, Lil. He hasn't said." Severus answered. "But I know something's bothering him."

Cindy had moved over to sit near the dark-haired boy, and she began to gently rub his back and shoulders.

Reg remained with his head turned away, but some of the tension went out of his posture as Cindy continued her massage. The pretty blond bit her lip and looked down at her boyfriend sadly. "Reg, there was nothing you could have done to stop him, you know."

Regulus sighed. "My head knows that, Cin. But my heart . . .that's a whole other cauldronful of newts." He shook his head. "My mother's been a wreck ever since, and my dad's even started drinking again."

"What happened?" asked Lily softly.

Regulus was quiet again, then he said, "I'd really rather not talk about it now, Lily."

"All right," Lily said, knowing full well she might be able to pry the story out of Cindy later. She turned to Severus. "Want to play rummy? I brought a deck of cards." She reached into her pocket and drew out a deck of cards with pictures of Hatfield palace on them.

"All right." Severus agreed. He looked at Cindy. "Care to join us?"

"Sure, but what's rummy?"

"It's a Muggle card game," Lily said, then she explained the rules to her friend and Severus shuffled the cards.

They pulled out the small foldaway table and soon were engaged in a fun game of gin rummy. They played several games, arguing good-naturedly over scores but generally having a good time.

Regulus never even looked at them, seemingly content to brood.

"I hear we're getting a new Astronomy professor," Cindy said, as she discarded a jack. "Wonder what he's like?"

Lily exchanged glances with Severus and slowly he nodded. "Actually, Cin, we've already met him. His name is Richard Marsh and he's a Muggleborn."

"You did? How did you manage that?"

"Um . . .well, he knows Sev's mum and she had him over for dinner one night while I was there. He's very nice and smart too. I think he'll be a great improvement over our other teacher."

"That goes without saying," Severus snorted. "He was so boring he could put a comet into cryogenic sleep."

Cindy looked blank and Lily hastened to explain the term to her.

Then she giggled. "You're such a wit, Sev. But you're right, I used to fall asleep over my telescope."

"And how you snored!" Lily added, and they all shared a good laugh over that.

Cindy stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Well, you talk in your sleep, Evans!"

Lily looked alarmed. "I do? Can you . . .understand me?" Bloody hell, I hope I don't prophesy in my sleep! Or worse talk about what I do as a spy. Maybe I'd better start taking some Dreamless Sleep.

"Well, the one time I heard you mumbling it was something about Severus, my love!" Cindy said, grinning wickedly. "Mary McDonald nearly passed out, she was coming back from the loo."

Lily felt herself blush. "Did she say anything?"

"Uh, yeah, she was like grossed out and I just looked at her and said it was normal for a girl to dream of her guy and at least that was better than spontaneously farting in your sleep like she did one night. That shut her up."

"God, Cindy!" Lily said and began to laugh in relief.

Not even that little incident roused Regulus from his depression.

I have to talk to him after the feast, Severus thought. Before he explodes like an overripe dungbomb. He just hoped Regulus would be willing to share his problem by then, and not make Severus tease it out of him. "Has Lily told you yet about the event of the holiday?"

"You mean that her older sister is dating James Potter?" Cindy asked in a stage whisper. "I find that deliciously . . .ironic! And I really hope he's not a prat to her and behaves himself."

"So far he has," Lily said. "Tuney's crazy about him."

"James can be charming when he wants to," Cindy conceded. "And he did beat up that fat slob Dursley, so that's worth twenty five points in my book."

"Yes. But it remains to be seen whether Potter stays faithful to her now that he's at school," Lily said. "For his sake, he'd better, or else he'll learn what it's like to sing soprano."

Severus winced. Lily could be a very dangerous enemy. Potter had better watch out.

* * * * * *

Regulus picked at his food during the feast, trying to avoid looking across the room at the Gryffindor table. He felt sick to his stomach to see Sirius laughing and joking with Pettigrew, Potter, and Lupin, as if nothing had happened. His hand clenched upon his fork until he almost bent the thin silver utensil in half. He would never understand his brother, not if he lived to be a thousand. How could the damn idiot just sit there and have a good time when he had just walked out on his family?

Didn't he care that Mum's nearly beside herself and Dad thinks it's somehow his fault that Sirius left? That maybe he should have talked to him some more or been stricter to him when he was a kid? Regulus thought angrily. He's torn apart our whole family and he doesn't give a bloody damn! I wish I could go over there and knock out his teeth. Either that or hex him good. Bloody selfish brainless git!

He chewed mechanically on a piece of turkey and forced himself to eat some mashed potatoes with gravy. The food sat in his stomach like lead and he was relieved when the feast ended and he could go back and hibernate in his room.

As soon as Severus had entered, the older Slytherin shut the door and cast several Silencing Charms about the room, ensuring their conversation remained private. Then he seated himself on the sofa and looked at his best friend in concern. "Reg, what's wrong? And don't tell me you're fine or nothing. I'm not stupid."

Regulus clutched his stomach. "Feel like I'm going to puke." He turned and ran for the bathroom.

"Aw, hell!" Severus groaned, and summoned an Anti-Nausea Draft from his trunk. Luckily Eileen had given him a fresh batch of medicinal potions before he left for school, so he wouldn't have to brew more right away. He flinched at the retching coming from the loo. He hoped that his roommate didn't have a virus, though he suspected it was probably nerves or anxiety or depression rather than a true disease.

After a time, the noises ceased and soon Regulus emerged from the bathroom, looking pale and drawn. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked like dragon dung. Severus rose and handed him the Anti-Nausea Draft. "Drink that, Reg. It'll settle your stomach. If you're really sick you need to go and see Pomfrey."

Reg took the draft and downed it without comment. "I'm not sick. Not like that."

Severus summoned a tin of water crackers and ginger ale from his trunk. His mother always packed him some, since he liked ginger ale and Hogwarts didn't have any. He also enjoyed eating crackers while reading at night. He popped the top off the ginger ale and handed it to his friend. "Sip this slowly. You need liquids after throwing up and this won't irritate your stomach."

Reg looked dubious. "What is it?"

"Ginger ale. It's a Muggle soda," Severus said. "Non-alcoholic."

Regulus sipped it cautiously. It tasted good on his tongue and he drank more.

Severus removed the lid of the tin of crackers and pushed them at Regulus. "Eat a few of these too."

"Sev, I just finished getting sick," Reg protested.

"And you need something in your stomach," the other argued, suppressing a grin because he sounded like Eileen. "Try one or two. They're light and won't make you sick up. Trust me."

Regulus nibbled a cracker. He waited for a moment, then discovered Snape was right and ate the rest of it. He then ate another. Five crackers and a can of ginger ale later, he felt relaxed enough to talk about what had happened during the last week of the holiday.

"You know he was being an arse before Christmas and all, refusing to celebrate Christmas Day with us and going over to Potter's and staying there, right?" Severus nodded. "I mean, he could have just been polite and stayed to celebrate with his family, even if the Malfoys were coming. It's not like my parents would have expected him to be best friends with them or anything. But he has a big row with them and storms off to Potter's manor. Dad was furious. He favors Sirius a lot, but even he won't tolerate that sort of behavior."

"I can't blame him."

"Then he came home just before we were going to leave for school and Dad caught him trying to sneak up to his room. He said he only came home to get his school stuff." Regulus shook his head. "I just don't get it, Sev. Siri acts like we're some kind of rabid supporters of You-Know-Who. Because all of my family has been in Slytherin and so was he. It's bloody ridiculous! My father is an Auror, for Merlin's sake! He puts people like that away in Azkaban! And my mum . . .she might be stuck on purebloods and think that we're the best, even though it's not true, but that prejudice has been around for centuries and most of my family believes that. They're kind of hidebound and blind that way." He said apologetically. "I'm sure Mum wouldn't sneer at you if I told her you're a half-blood now that she's gotten to know you. Matter of fact, she reamed my brother's arse for doing that prank to you at the Shack. Said he was a disgrace and she was ashamed of him and I swear, Sev, if he'd been three years younger, she would have switched him till he howled."

Severus quirked his mouth in a grin. "He would have certainly deserved it. Go on."

"That was when he just . . .blew up and he called her a viper and said she'd been treating him like dirt ever since she found out he was Sorted into Gryffindor. Sev, that's not true! I was there when she got the letter from Dumbledore, you know the one he always sends congratulating your parents on having a child get into Hogwarts and telling them what House they were in and how proud they were to have you as a member? She was shocked, sure, I mean Sirius was the first person in a long time, practically a few centuries to be Sorted into a House other than Slytherin. It was like a family tradition—if you're a Black you go to Hogwarts or Beauxbatons and if you go to Hogwarts you end up in Slytherin."

"What did she say when she found out?"

"She just looked at the letter and then she didn't say anything for awhile, she looked kind of sad and shocked. I think she said something like . . .why did the Hat put him there? He doesn't belong there, he's a Black. Blacks have always been serpents. We value brains and cleverness over fool's courage and subtlety over impulsiveness. Where did I go wrong? She wasn't angry and she didn't say she was going to make Dumbledore Re-Sort him either. She sure as hell didn't threaten to kick him out of the family."

"And your dad?"

"Dad was surprised too. But he just told Mum that the Hat must have had a reason for how it chose and that there was nothing they could do but accept it. We Slytherins are a proud lot, but nobody in the family acted like we hated Sirius. Mum and Dad used to get on his arse for getting poor grades or getting written up for too many detentions and they didn't really approve of James Potter, but not cause he was a Gryffindor, but because he kept leading Sirius into scrapes and getting him into trouble. And Siri's never needed help with that! He and Potter used to run wild when they were kids. And Mum's always been very concerned with how her sons behave and she doesn't like having a son who's got a reputation for being a troublemaker. So she's hard on him because of that. But it's only 'cause she cares about him, if she didn't, she wouldn't give a damn what he did." Regulus finished his can of soda and set the empty can down.

He stared at his hands and said, very softly, "What he said, Sev . . .it really hurt her. I tried to talk to him, and all he said was that my parents favored me and maybe I should have never been born."

"Jackass! Don't listen to him, Reg."

"I'm not. That's not why I'm so upset. It's what he said to my mother that really got to me. After he left, she screamed a bit at my dad and then she cried. Sev, she hardly ever does that. He made her cry. And ever since, she's been like a ghost. She flits about the house, doesn't talk, hardly eats, and I know she's blaming herself for Sirius leaving. Dad, too. Dad's started drinking a little."

Severus stiffened. "For how long?"

"A few days. Don't worry, he's not going to become Tobias," Regulus reassured him. "I hate seeing them like that. I tried to write to him a few days after it happened, tell him that he should come back home."

"What happened?"

"I got the letter back, unopened, and written on the front of it was Return to Sender." Regulus hung his head. "I was waiting to speak to him tonight, but then I looked at him in the hall and I just . . .I wanted to kill him, Sev. He tore my family apart and there he was, laughing and joking with the bloody Marauders like he didn't have a care in the world." Regulus slammed his fist down on the table. "How can he just act like nothing happened? How can he just . . .walk away from his family?"

Severus shook his head. "I wish I could tell you, but you know I've never been able to figure him out. Half the time he acts like a spoiled brat ten-year-old and the other like a clown. I could see him leaving if he had a home like I did . . .I would have left long ago if I'd had any place else to go. But your parents aren't like that, you grew up in a good home. I don't understand what his problem is, Reg. Since when did he become so prejudiced against Slytherins?"

"I don't know. Maybe when he started hanging out with the other Gryffindors, who seem to blame every Slytherin for You-Know-Who's screwed up philosophy," Regulus said angrily. "Sometimes Gryff's are so narrowminded they don't see what's right in front of their face till it jumps up and bites them. Then the light goes on." He heaved a sigh. "I thought maybe . . .I could convince him to . . .at least talk with my dad, it would be something, anyway. But after dinner, seeing him that way, I just . . .it made me sick to my stomach. I mean, I know we're not a perfect family, but then who the hell is? We've all got things we're ashamed of in our pasts, everyone's got a skeleton in their closet, but you just remember it and you go on. My family's big on following tradition and that can be a real pain in the arse sometimes, all the rules and silly conditions, but Merlin's balls, Severus, it's not like we're murdering babies at the dark of the moon! The Blacks have always tried to stand for something better . . .achieve things that set us apart from ordinary wizards. Sorry if that sounds like we're all elitest snobs, but it's true. I don't agree with some of the things my family does, but I'd never do what my brother did! Never! He broke my mother's heart. And I really hate him for that! May God forgive me, but I do!"

Regulus's voice broke then and he buried his face in his hands.

Severus moved then, and touched his friend lightly on the shoulder. He did not know what else to do, how else to comfort him, he felt awkward and useless. He wished he knew something to say that would make Reg feel better, that would ease the suffering he saw in his friend's eyes. Regulus was between a rock and a hard place and the only thing Severus knew how to do was stay beside him and remind him that he was not alone. It was a small thing, but it was all he knew how to do.

After a few minutes, Regulus stopped crying and lifted his head. "Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. You must think I'm a wimp, huh?"

"No. I think your brother's a flaming horse's arse for deserting you and he ought to go throw himself off a cliff," Severus responded. "He doesn't know how good he had it. He ought to try living my childhood for a day. Then he'd know what it was to have a parent that hated you." Severus said darkly. Then he changed the subject, because he wanted to discuss Tobias as little as possible. "My mother's finally started seeing someone."

"Really? Who? Do you like him?"

"Yes, I do. And I never thought I'd say that about a man, even one who is as different from him as night from day. His name is Dickon Marsh, our new Astronomy teacher."

Regulus gaped at him. "You're putting me on! Your mum's boyfriend is our new professor?"

"Yes."

"Blazes! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Me either." Severus yawned. "Guess we'll find out tomorrow night. I'm kind of tired, Reg. Think I'll turn in." He rose and went to change in the bathroom.

"Night, Sev." Regulus called, but he made no move to get into pajamas and go to bed. Instead he remained staring down at his lap, looking at a small locket in his hand, it was engraved with an S for Slytherin and inside of it was a picture of his family. It had been taken when Regulus was seven and Sirius eight, and Walburga and Orion stood proudly behind them, smiling. That was when we were all still happy and Siri was my friend and we played tag through the orchards on Aunt Alyssa's estate. We were a real family then, instead of this broken thing. Where did it all go wrong? And how the hell can I fix it? Damn you, Siri! You stupid insensitive beast! I hope you're happy with what you've done.

He remained awake a while longer, staring into the fire, remembering what had been and mourning that it could never be again.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but I was busy writing two Halloween stories and another one for a contest and the muse was pestering me to write stuff on RPM and THH first. But I'm back now and hope you all like this one. Thanks for being so patient.

Next: Their first Astronomy class with Dickon. How will it all turn out?