Sorry for the really short chapter, but my internet has been derping out all day! I hope you enjoy anyway. Also, anyone who has watched the movie: Major Payne, will have a bit more insight to this chapter.

Reviewers:

Nova'sGirl: Yeah, I was thinking dare. But, like you said, we may never know. Maybe it's a monk thing...Anyway, I love it too! Especially the superhero cafés, and I totally imagine Batman doing something as random as dancing in an elevator. Oh, and to answer your question...BECAUSE HE'S BATMAN!

IronFistRocks: That was the whole theme, I said it in the author's note. Thanks for reviewing though and I really hope you enjoy!

Batmanismyhero: I know right. And yes I do watch it, I said in my author's note that it was my own 'superhero café' from HISHE.

AllieSnow: Ooh! I like your first idea a lot. I think I might do that next chapter! Thanks a lot for reviewing and enjoy!

BVB Fan: Yes. Oh my gosh yes. Thanks for your idea and I will definitely be using it.

Chapter 31: Why Norman Should Not Be A Writer

It is late, Norman Osborn is checking to make sure everything is off before he goes to sleep. His small son, Harry, is in bed. It is Christmas Eve. Norman is about to walk to his room when he hears Harry scream. He runs to his son, who is sitting up in bed, crying.

"What's wrong Harry?"

"I-I had a bad dream," He sniffles. Norman rubs his back and tucks him back in.

"Would you like to hear a story?"

"Yes dad," Harry smiles softly. Norman grins and sits on the foot of the bed.

"Once upon a time was a little engine. And he was employed to deliver supplies to a nearby town. The town was on the other side of huge mountain. But the little engine decided that he would try anyway. So he put on a smile and started his journey.

The engine huffed and puffed, but the mountain was very steep. So the little engine detoured to a gas station and tried bribing some other sucker to do his work. But everyone else actually had a brain and knew that they couldn't do it. The engine was sad.

So he went back to the mountain and tried again. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can," He thought. But he still got nowhere. The engine decided to build a slingshot to throw the supplies to the other town. So he wasted all of his money on builders and wood, but the slingshot wasn't powerful enough. The engine cursed.

Finally, the engine had an existential crisis and realized that he was just a story character with no real purpose. So he prayed to a fairy godmother because that stuff happens in stories. And she actually came! So the engine stuffed her in a sack and quit his job, traveling the world as a circus ringmaster and showing off his rare 'fairy godmother' to make money. The end!"

Harry's mouth hung open in horror. Norman frowned.

"What?"

"WHAT THE HECK DAD!? THAT WAS HORRIBLE!"

"No, it was realistic."

Harry's eyes widened.

"I'M FREAKING EIGHT YEARS OLD!"

"What's your point?"

"I'm so done. Get out. And keep your stories to yourself!" Harry yells. Norman shrugs and walks out of the room. Harry shakes his head.

Years later:

Harry is in high school and has just finished retelling his dad's story to Peter, MJ, and the new kids. His friends are backing away slightly.

"What? I remember my dad telling me that story all the time, and I loved it!"

Danny puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Traditions strike and befall others differently, but yours stretches the bounds of no judgment."

Harry stares at Danny with half lidded eyes.

"Um...what did he say?" He addressed everyone else. Luke looked at him as if it was obvious.

"Your messed up," He deadpanned, "That's what it means."

Sorry again for the pathetic length! Also, this awesome idea was inspired by girl05! Anyway...

Wolf out...