We walk off stage to start the photos and interviews but since I don't want to do interviews becca, alli, and pierre take me to the bathroom to change and christian walks with me holding my hand I change into a black lace strapless dress by Zuhair murad. My dad then says his goodbyes and leaves me and my brother as we go straight to the vanity fair party, as we get there we pose for photos again and then we head inside to start partying. Me and my friends go nuts when the music starts and they start taking goofy pictures I'm in all of them then other stars come over hangout with us including my good friend kristen, taylor, selena, and cara. I introduce them to christian and he smiles at all of them but stays with me and my brother the whole time, I go to the dance floor with my friends and I see him and jesse having a good time then the music changes to annie lennox's "I put a spell on you" and
jesse says " my girlfriend is here I'm going home ok see you soon I will visit you in chicago next week." he says and we hug "bye"
Christian comes up to me "can i have this dance?" he says
"yes" I place my hand on his and the other one on his shoulder. He places his free hand on my waist and we start dancing then I someone has taken a picture of us but I don't give it much thought so I put my head on his shoulder and see my friends smiling and take another picture of us and that makes me smile.
"I want you so much right now can we leave?" he says
"christian calm down the party is over we can go home now and you can have me anyway you want me in your playroom."
His eyes lit up with his eyebrows "ms. johnson you're very kinky."
When the party is over my friends leave in their car and tell me I will see them when we leave for chicago to film the movie. Me, christian,taylor and anthony head out to the car and I realize my small sweater isn't warm enough as I am shivering hugging myself.
Christian wraps his arms around me " are you cold baby."
"yea... i guess I thought this sweater would make me warm."
"well don't worry I'm here and the car is coming." he says
The car stops in front of us and we get in with christian wrapping me in his arms and trails kisses on my lips, cheek, ear and neck.
"christian stop can't you wait till we get to your place?" he has his hands on my waist and neck kissing me on the lips then I move my hand to touch his face but he grabs it and puts on his shoulder. We get to escala and inside the elevator anthony and taylor use the other one. Christian suddenly grabs me and pushes me up from my waist while my legs grab onto his torso then pushes me to the wall with one hand at my behind and the other on the wall, while i circle my arms around his neck as we makeout.
When the elevators stop he puts me down and takes my hand walks me to the guest bedroom and tells me to get dressed he will wait in the playroom. I get dressed as fast as I can and take off my makeup so that I'm only wearing my panties and his white t-shirt. I walk into his playroom and see he is only wearing ripped jeans then he walks over to me and closes the door behind me and we begin to play. I hope no one heard all the pleasure noises we were doing.
These past two weeks have been so amazing I wanted to stop time and just stay like this with him. We made love in every single room of christian's apartment even in my apartment too, he took me flying on charlie tango again and then we went gliding it was so fun I laughed alot and he smiled "I love that sound your beautiful laugh." he said as we walked in the park holding eachother by the waist.
It's friday afternoon and I decided to finish the song I wrote the first time I met christian I called it "If Only" I wrote it about my feelings about him of not knowing if its real or not and if I should trust my feelings so I begin to play knowing that christian is in his office working and I begin to sing:
"If Only"
A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening
'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing
I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
If only [2x]
Every step, every word,
With every hour I am falling in
To something new, something brave
To someone I, I have never been
I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
Yeah
Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen
Yeah
Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh...
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh...
If only, yeah [4x]
If only
If only
As I finish I hear clapping and as I turn I see christian leaning against the kitchen wall "that was amazing." he says
"thank you... its a new song I wrote of when I first met you... you inspired the song." he looks down like he isn't happy about it.
"christian what's wrong?"
"nothing come." he says extending his hand to me so I give it to him and he walks straight to the playroom but before he can open it I stop him.
"christian why can't we just talk like a normal couple?"
"we are not normal and this relationship is nothing more bdsm." he says angirly. I'm about to touch his face when he stops me "don't do that." he says.
"why... why can't I touch you?"
"Because I told you that's not part of the arrangement we have... if you would just sign the nda we wouldn't have this problem." he says
"why are you trying to change me? why can't we sleep together, why can't we go on normal dates, and I want more I need more. I thought you feeling the same."
"I'm not changing you... its you that's changing me... and I don't know how I should feel about that... I have never had a girlfriend I don't date at all and I don't want to get hurt."he says
I'm about to hug him "I have fallen in love with you." but he pushes me away shocked.
"no ana you can't love me... I'm nothing... not worthy." he says
"why not tell me christian please." he walks back to the living room and stops at the window and I'm behind him waiting for an answer. "because it's who I am... I'm not capable of love!" he shouts.
"I don't understand." he looks out the window and puts his head down.
"because I'm fifty shades of fucked up." he says
" so that's it then you just wanted me to submit myself to your will... well I can't I won't...I'm not the woman you want... I can't be I'm sorry christian." I'm in tears now and he sees i'm crying and walks towards me
"no ana you are everything I want and more." he says "no i'm not because I love you and clearly you don't... I have to go I can't stay here another minute... you clearly need to face your demons and until you do I can't be with you." I go to my room get dressed and grab my stuff. I head to the elevator and get in I see christian walking towards me "no! don't" I shout he stops in his tracks shocked "goodbye christian.''
"ana...bye." he says sadly I call anthony to take me home and when I get to the entrance I see taylor. "hi taylor it was nice knowing you take care of him...Oh and please tell him not to send me anymore gifts I won't be there to get them I'm leaving to chicago to start filming and I don't want the neighbors calling me saying he is stalking the apartment."
"yes ms. johnson I will... give him time he will come around." he says concerned. I just smile and wave after I get in the car. I get home and start packing for chicago tomorrow at least I will have my mind busy with filming.
The next morning my friends come over because I'm taking them with me and I get ready to leave for LAX on our drive there my friends ask me of christian will visit "I don't know we haven't talked about it honestly."
they are all quiet and anthony gives me a reassuring look like It's-ok-you-will-be-fine. Anthony has always been there for me like a big teddy bear another big brother I guess... as we get to the airport we see it's swarmed with paparazzi so I put on my sunglasses and get out. "ana are you excited about filming a huge franchise?
"yea I am can't wait." "we love your new music can't wait for the whole album." they say "aaawww thanks guys bye." then I stop to take pictures with fans and do some autographs. As we board I get a text and it's from christian saying good luck taylor told him then ok good no more gifts. Then the plane takes off and so my life begins without christian in it.
Ok so this is the end of fifty shades of grey now I'm going to write one for fifty shades darker. It may take awhile because I'm starting my fall semester in school tomorrow so it will take a lot of my time but every free chance I get I will update I promise. I love all the amazing feedback you are all so kind as you know this is my first time here. I don't respond to really critical people because this is fanfiction people will make mistakes all the time so don't be rude to us and don't be overly critical. Let me know if you would like me to post the photos I have chosen for her photoshoots, and red carpet style and them walking out and about ok. I have the first chapter of the second novel almost done.