2 and a half years later
It's been difficult. Normally, as Eric's wife, I would have inherited his millions after his death. Except that he didn't change his will since he left everything to Pam before his meeting with Russell. I was forced to go to Pam with my hand out.
Under normal circumstances, I think she would have been generous, whether I'm her favorite person or not. But she blames me entirely. Her maker is dead. And as far as she's concerned, I killed him. When she saw E.J. for the first time, the emotion on her face was unmistakable. Her jaw fell open, then tears rolled down her cheeks, then she held out her arms like she wanted to hold him…and then snatched them back and told me to get the f*ck out and never come back.
It's been hard surviving as a single mother on a waitress's salary. I'm just glad I inherited our big house so there's no rent. I just have to keep the lights on, keep the water running, and keep my baby fed and clothed. Sam has been a gem about all this. He let me bring E.J. to work when he was an infant. But now, just like his father, my son can't stop running around and sticking his nose in everything. Sam can't have him tearing up the bar.
When Arlene or Terry is off, they let him play with Mikey. But there are times I just can't find anyone free, and I can't afford a babysitter, so I have to stay home and lose the tips we desperately need. There are so many nights I cry myself to sleep.
I can't remember the first week after I woke up. I must have fed my son because when I did start marking hours, and then days, he was fine, and lying next to me.
Sam found us. Us and the pile of ash. I remember being put in an ambulance, the emergency room, an IV, and the doctor whispering to Sam that I nearly died of dehydration. Another day would have done it. When I woke up, the only thing I wanted was my baby.
Then I got up, I ate, I drank, I fed my son, I spent the rest of my life in bed. I kept thinking if I slept as much as possible, I could go back to the dream. All three of us would be back there. I would be warm, and happy, in Eric's arms, with a fire burning brightly. Our baby would be sleeping peacefully nearby. He'd still be keeping us safe.
The most horrible mornings were the ones when I actually did dream of it, and then woke up. I wanted to die. But Eric knew he'd left me with the one reason I wouldn't.
I remember faces from that time. Sam. Jason. Even Holly, trying to make me a healing potion. But I made her leave. Her Wicca nonsense only reminded me of what I lost.
As weeks went by, I finally got out of bed and stayed out the whole day. It soon became apparent we would starve if I didn't get out of bed, and stay out. After Pam sent us away, I went back to work with as many hours as Sam would give me.
Six months later, I baptized Eric Jason Northman at All Faith's Church on the corner of Boundary and Parish Road 34. If anyone objected to the son of a vampire being baptized, they had been smart enough to keep their mouths shut.
Two years after that, I'm bouncing Eric's son on my hip. A beautiful toddler, with brilliant blue eyes, and baby fine platinum blond hair.
"What do you say to spaghetti, baby?"
"Sketti!" he cries, and I put him down.
I pull out a pot and put it under the tap, then light a burner.
There's a knock on the door. "Come in."
Jason opens the door and calls to us.
"Punkle Jason!" my son cries.
He loves his Punkle Jason, and Jason loves him, even if he "looks just like that crazy tall one she married."
"Eeej!" Jason cries, swinging him into the air. Jason has chosen to take my son's initials and turn them into one long sound "eeejj."
"What's for dinner, Eeej?"
"Sketti!"
"Well, I love spaghetti", Jason says.
"You have food at your house, Jason", I remind him.
"I know, I know. But yours is always better." I know he makes excuses to come here and keep us company. He also goes to the Piggly Wiggly, brings over food for dinner, and conveniently "forgets" to take the rest of the groceries home.
He's really a dear. After the baby has been put down for the night, I walk him to the door.
"You know the two of you don't have to stay here alone", he says.
"We're fiiiine, Jason."
"Sook, you never get out. You never do anything fun, you never leave the baby except to go to work, and then you come right back."
He's all I have left! Why can't anyone see that? The child I thought I would never get the chance to see grow up is now my world.
"Sook, it's been two years, don't you think it's time to go on a date? He'd want you to be happy."
"Don't you dare tell me what Eric would want!" Fire is shooting through my veins.
"Sook, you have to move on, this ain't healthy."
"NEVER mention that to me again if you want to stay my brother." Tears are rolling down my face.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he drags me into his arms, "I won't mention it again."
He's not the only one who's tried it. Andy brought yet another Bellefleur cousin by the bar one day, to arrange an accidental meeting. Holly's brother is freshly divorced, and she dragged him by. He wasn't sure how he felt about a woman who already had a kid. I was very sure how I felt about him leaving immediately.
And Sam. Sam has actually made the offer, twice. And I turned him down, twice. I'm married. Just because my husband is dead doesn't mean I'm not married.
So I go to work, and take orders, and try to stay numb for as long as possible, just like always. Though time has gone by, it's getting harder. When everything was an emergency, it was easier to keep plugging. Now my life is too quiet.
The next evening, we're playing, and E.J. is running around chasing his new kitten. The kitten is a recent addition, the offspring of a Bellefleur cat they found in the barn and were anxious to get rid of for free. E.J. is mad about him. I keep finding myself trying to fill his life in other ways, to close the hole in both our hearts.
The knock on the door shocks us both, but I jog over to the door. Experience tells me to never just throw open a door. Anybody might be on the other side. I look through the curtain.
I open it slowly. "Bill. It's good to see you again."
Years ago, recovered from his religious mania, and begging for forgiveness, Bill Compton had retired quietly to the old Compton house. Formerly the residence of the King of Louisiana, he's removed himself from politics, from life, and we hadn't heard a peep since.
"It's good to see you…Sookie. I heard. I wanted to offer my condolences."
Sookeh. I don't think I'd ever forget that voice.
"Thank you. I appreciate you stoppin by…"
He stares hard at my son.
"That's him?" Bill asks, staring at E.J. "Of course he is. He looks…"
"I know."
"Can I hold him?"
I take a deep breath. "I guess that's up to E.J. Baby…"
My son toddles over. He looks up and regards Bill with great suspicion. He stares at him and doesn't say a word.
"That look…"
"I know." When Bill would accuse Eric of "eye fucking" him, that's the look on E.J.'s face. Curiosity, but massive distrust. Slowly, he raises his little arms and Bill picks him up.
"A fine boy", Bill says, his voice cracking.
"Cold", E.J. says. Some part of my son seems to recognize the predator in vampire Bill.
"Yes, we're not the same temperature", Bill explains.
"He's never met a vampire", I say, "He wouldn't remember Pam, he was an infant."
Moments later, E.J. holds out his arms to me, and I take him from Bill. He was just plain uncomfortable there.
"Well thank you for stoppin by", I say again, "We really appreciate it."
"Your boy will need a father", he says.
I huff loudly. He's crossing a line.
"He has a father. Thank you for comin and good night." I push the door closed, but Bill blocks it.
"But Eric is…no longer with us. The boy needs someone to take care of his needs, and he needs a man in his life."
He's got me with that last part. I had worried about it, and hope Terry will take him under his wing, including him in activities with Mikey.
But for the time being, he's still my baby, and his arms tighten around my neck. I know Bill scares him.
"When we were together, you have no idea how much I wanted this", Bill goes on. "How much guilt I felt keeping you from a normal human life. And a chance to have a child."
My son is shaking like an antelope that spotted a lion. I put E.J. down, and push him behind me.
"I know, but life goes the way it goes", I tell him, borrowing one of those worn out phrases from Arlene.
"I heard around town he, uh….that you said he sacrificed himself for you. That must have been hard. Eric was always very…good at self protection."
"Bill Compton, you were there most of the times Eric was willing to die save me. To save Godric and I from Reverend Newlin. To save me from Russell. Saving all of my people and fairy relatives. Offering to die in my place wasn't new to Eric, the only difference is this time he succeeded."
"At the very least, let me help you out with money. I have a lot, and nothing to do with it."
"We're doin just fine", I tell him.
"You're obviously not", Bill whispers, "Please, let me help…"
"I can stand on my own two feet", I say.
"Momma, close door", E.J. says.
"I have to go."
I close the door and take a deep breath. Bill stands out on my porch for a full minute, and then walks away.
That night, I set a fire in the fireplace in Gran's bedroom, and drag my mattress off the bed, and in front of it. For a while, it was the only way I could sleep. I had become so accustomed to bright, brilliant, orange flames in my face, I couldn't sleep without them.
E.J. looks at me, confused. He hasn't seen me do this in a long time. His "big boy" crib is in the same room with me. I refuse to let him out of my sight.
"Momma…." He holds up his arms and bounces up and down in his crib.
I get up and get him, and we cuddle up in front of the fire with a couple of warm blankets.
"Love you, baby. Give me a kiss." I point to my cheek.
He kisses my cheek. "Do you love me?" I ask with a smile.
"Luv you, Momma."
Thank you for him, Eric. We cuddle together until morning.