After Raoul's Ordeal of Knighthood,—which he never talked to me about, because he was afraid he'd give something important about the Ordeal away to me—I spent a lot of time meditating on the code of honor. He sent me to help Alan get the document that Sir Myles wanted so he could teach us more about the Old Ones.
Alan and I managed to retrieve the document safely in two days and I hissed, "Alan, if we travel twice quickly on the way back, I think we'll be home by tomorrow." "It's late, Fabiethe, so we might not get home till the day after tomorrow," he pointed out. I glared at him and reluctantly agreed.
Then it started getting pretty stormy and I said, "Let's make camp under some trees and fast, Alan." He nodded hasty agreement and we quickly set up camp. Then Alan started sneezing and I started gasping for breath. Then two kittens strolled into our shared camp—I picked up the green kitten—which alarmed me—that was not normal—and I checked it over for any problems—she—it was a girl—was fine.
I glanced at Alan who was looking after the purple-eyed kitten. He nodded wordlessly when I gave her my 'did-you-hear-that-Alan' look. Then his nose started itching like crazy and I choked, and was unable to breathe for several seconds—it happened every time magic was used near the two of us. Then a woman arrived and said, "You should not be here. It is dangerous under that tree," pointing at the tree that I'd set my stuff under. I groaned and moved my stuff closer to Alan's belongings who laughed at my expression. I glared at him and muttered, "Are you sure you're Alan and not Thom?" He glared at me.
I then rejoined the others, and picking my kitten set her on my lap and Alan put his kitten back on his lap. The woman then said, "You have come far, both of you, my daughters." We both froze and I whispered, "Impossible." Alan shook his head in disbelief. "Why wouldn't I come to talk to you?" the Goddess asked. I sighed and said, "You do know I'm not the most religious person in the world, my Mother." She nodded and said, "Daughter, you do not believe in the gods of Oz, yet you do believe in me." I nodded silently. She continued, "That is because you feel loved by me and like you belong instead of being pointed out and made fun for being different." I growled as I remembered why I'd left home.
She smiled at me and said, "Calm down my daughter." I did, almost immediately after she said that. Alan stared at me, and I kicked him. The Goddess then said, "You both have three fears. Alanna—I'll start with you." I nodded and went over to Starlight and started whispering in her ear.
Then the Goddess called, "Elphaba Thropp, my daughter, I am ready to talk to you." I jumped and said, "I haven't been called that in years." "I know, but you must remember who you are, for your first fear is linked to that." The Goddess said. I nodded. She then said, "You fear harm for your sister, Nessarose Thropp." "My life, all of this training, the whole point, is to better be able to protect her, to defend her—that's all that matters to Father." I said. "Yet, she is only your half-sister and treats you as a slave rather than as a sister," the Goddess pointed out. I nodded shakily and said, "Father told her to treat me like that because I'm green and that it's my fault her mother's dead, but it's her fault—not mine—I didn't ask to be born green—I wanted to normal, but did anyone ask the green girl, no—and everyone hates me and fears me because I'm different." "And this leads us to your second fear—love." the Goddess replied. "You fear love, for you are unaccustomed to being loved, to having someone wanting you to be safe." "My father hates me and that was I left behind when I left Oz, so how can I be expected to know how to love or how to accept it in return?" I asked. The Goddess nodded and said, "Excellent point, but you fear the love of Raoul. You also fear the motherly love of Queen Lianne who seeks nothing more than to take you in as her own daughter." I sighed and said, "I don't fear her love; I fear losing her. Everytime I love someone, I lose them. I lost Mother and Lord Alan. I can't go through that all the time—no, I can't go through it ever again." . I sighed and said, "My third fear?" The Goddess smiled and said, "The Ordeal." "I don't want to think about that yet." I said. "You must think about the Ordeal for the time draws close when you too shall enter the Chamber of the Ordeal, my daughter, but your meditations on the code may help you make the right decisions." she replied. I nodded and said, "Will I ever not fear these things?" She calmly said, "Time will heal all three fears, my daughter."
The Goddess said, "Keep my warning in mind, my daughters. I was not joking when I said that unusual things happen under that tree." Alan and I then went to bed, instructing our kittens not to snore. They agreed as long as we didn't snore.
The next day, Alan and I returned to Court and gave the document to Sir Myles.
A few weeks earlier, it had been Jon's birthday and Alan and I pitched in and got Jon a mail shirt and a belt and had Thom put super-powerful protection spells on them. George helped us get back to the temple district so we wouldn't get hurt—of course, I was the better wrestler between Alan and me and between George and I—I was pretty sure we'd be safe.
We gave the package to Jon, burned the letter like we normally did, and gave Thom's message to King Roald of Conté and his wife, Queen Lianne of Naxen and Conté.
We also named our kittens—Alanna named hers Faithful and Jon 'knighted' it and I named mine Courage and Raoul 'knighted' mine as well—and then they were little furballs that clung to us like lost puppies. Then they flipped out when they saw Roger and I fell into a puddle of water, burning myself. I didn't cry, but it hurt terribly.