"'Why did you do all this for me?' he asked. 'I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you.'

'You have been my friend,' replied Charlotte. 'That in itself is a tremendous thing.'"

― E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

13

Despite his perfect words and the ease of his company, I still managed to underestimate Edward Cullen. My judgment was off at the moment, clearly. I had a valid excuse for my perception of anyone outside of my family being off. I was set to read them and their needs, and that was it for now. I couldn't even read myself accurately.

It started with the coffee and continued with phone conversations and a few texts. The phone calls went from brief catch-ups when he finished a shift to a long evening with a cup of tea before bed where I soon found myself willing to share what I was going through with him. I preferred listening to him talk about himself. It was a small but welcome escape.

Edward told me all about his family. His dad, Carlisle, had been a doctor as well. He had been massively successful and was highly regarded in the profession. He was now semi-retired, putting on his surgical cap for special cases and giving seminars at colleges and to medical boards. His mom, Esme, had been a consultant on interior design for one of the country's most successful architecture firms. She still did a bit of work in the Washington area. I wondered if Alice knew of her. He spoke highly of his parents, and I respected and admired that. I guess he spoke of them the way I spoke of Charlie.

"Do you see your parents a lot then? It sounds as though you're very close to them," I asked.

"Not as much as I'd like, actually. They built a second house on the Olympic Peninsula years and years ago, and when Carlisle retired, they decided to move there."

"Oh wow, whereabouts?" I asked, thinking of my childhood home.

"A little town called Forks," he replied, his tone implying its obscurity.

"You're kidding, I grew up in Forks…hold on...the big house in the woods a few miles out of town?"

"That's the one," he said. I could sense his smile through the phone line.

"I remember building finished on that place just before we left town."

That started the discussion about why we left Forks and a glossing over of my mother's departure.

Edward was right; talking a little more did help to ease the pain that haunted me every day. It would have certainly overwhelmed me otherwise. The reminders were constant. Ben would screw up his little face in a certain way and remind me of Rose, or I would be out or working and think of something and go to call her, then remember I couldn't. That had happened twice recently; both times I got so furious at myself, which resulted in angry tears. They always morphed into sad sobbing. I wanted to know how long it was going to be until I'd feel better. How long it would be until it got easier in the ways Edward suggested it would.

"The sentencing is at the end of next week."

He didn't ask me how I felt about it; he just waited for me to say more if I wanted to. I found myself wanting to.

"I spent a day last week so furious with that piece of shit that I wanted his life taken away from him as well. I didn't think rotting in prison was worthy of him. Because of course he won't rot, will he? He'll be comfortable and fed and rehabilitated for reintegration into society. And all of that just seems like a load of fucking bullshit. A mistake is a mistake, and he'll pay his dues, except that it's not a mistake when it results in someone fucking dying. People shouldn't have a chance to make a mistake like that. That makes you a brainless fucking asshole. So I keep bashing all of these thoughts around, and I can't reconcile any of it with the fact that my sister is gone. Wasting my time worrying about some meaningless punishment won't bring her back and it won't make me feel better. Fuck…I don't know." I sighed and pulled at my hair.

I heard Edward swallow into the receiver.

"Are you going to court?" he asked quietly.

"Dad's going to read a victim impact statement. I'm going to support him."

"I'll be there, Bella."

I didn't doubt him or dissuade him.