39

Family Matters

March, 1978:

Hogwarts:

For Lily, returning to school was almost like torture in some ways. For she had to pretend she was James' girlfriend and ignore Severus, except when partnered with him for potions, and then they could barely talk about anything other than their current assignment, because people might notice. She still managed to slip him notes written in their special code, but it wasn't the same as having him there. Several times during that first term she wanted to burst into tears, but she had to control her emotions and smile and laugh at Potter and Black's stupid jokes and cheer James on at Quidditch practice and games. But she did a good job, for her friends and acquaintances were fooled into thinking she was deliriously happy. It was so ironic, she thought, that her Second Sight had been right, she made a good spy and a better actress.

She had everyone fooled . . .everyone except Dickon Marsh. The astronomer had seen how close she and Severus had become during the summer and couldn't figure out why Lily was suddenly avoiding Severus and hanging about James, who was supposedly her sister's beau. It just didn't make sense, and Dickon would have loved to solve that little mystery, but he hardly had time inbetween his classes and grading tests and homework and visiting his wife every weekend, Eileen had moved into a small cottage in Hogsmeade to be closer to her family during the last two months of her pregnancy, when she was on maternity leave. "When I had Sev, Tobias was working full time and traveling, and he nearly didn't make it in time to the hospital to see Sev get born. I'd really prefer if that didn't happen again."

"I'll be right there for our child's birth, Eileen my love. I'd cancel all my classes if necessary."

She had smiled up at him, that glorious smile he loved so well. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you, Dickon Marsh?"

"Only about every other day. But I'll be glad to hear it again if you want to repeat it," he'd laughed.

She had, several times, and each time he had kissed her.

He set those memories aside as he watched Lily walk down the hall accompanied by her friends, Cindy, Alice, and Mary. She turned and smiled at something Mary said, but Dickon observed that the smile didn't reach her eyes. He had seen Lily smile before, especially at Severus, and he could tell that this was not a true smile. She was acting a part, pretending to be happy when she was not. There is something going on there, something that involves Severus and James. I don't understand it, but something's not right there. But short of dragging all of them into his office on a pretext and making them tell him what was going on, he wasn't going to figure it out any time soon. But it bothered him, for he cared for Lily and Severus and didn't like to see them unhappy.

Lily felt eyes upon her as she passed the Astronomy classroom, and she turned and met Professor Marsh's gaze. She waved at him briefly and flashed him a smile, he was her favorite teacher. This time it was real.

Dickon gave her a return smile, then retreated into his classroom, he had tests to grade and diagrams to review. But someday he would solve the mystery between the two Gryffindors and his Slytherin son.

"So, are you going to be at the big game this weekend?" asked Mary. "It's Gryffindor versus Slytherin and I hope James kicks Avery's arse good. Mulciber too."

Lily nodded. She couldn't blame Mary for being so bitter and angry, since Mulciber had played a nasty joke on her a few weeks ago. At the same time, she couldn't work up any real enthusiasm for the game either. She had never cared much for Quidditch and would have rather been studying for her NEWTS. With Severus. Who was probably going to Hogsmeade to visit his mother. Eileen was eight months pregnant and getting close to her due date. Maybe I can play sick and stay in bed in the morning and study and then sneak out through the humpbacked witch statue into Honeydukes.

She had learned that little secret way from James, he had told her of several secret passages as a kind of apology or maybe it was a consolation for her having to pretend to be his girlfriend. That was the only good thing about hanging around the Marauders. Most of the time she found the four friends immature and annoying, especially Pettigrew, with his obsessive worship of James, as if he were some kind of god, and Sirius, who thought he was God's gift to women. James she could tolerate, because he had matured considerably since meeting Petunia, and Remus had always been kind and considerate to her.

"Reg's playing too." Cindy said, not at all bothered that she was going out with the "enemy".

Mary made a face. "I still don't get you, Graves. How can you like one of those slimy—"

"Stuff it, Macdonald," Cindy ordered sharply. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's my business not yours who I choose to date and Regulus is a decent kid. Better than his troublemaking brother, if you want the truth."

"I don't believe it!"

"Believe what you want, but it's the truth," Cindy stated, then she started walking very quickly ahead of them, her back stiff with indignation.

Lily glared at Mary. "You just had to start with her, didn't you?" She hurried to catch up with her friend. "Cin, don't pay any attention to her. You know she's been sour grapes ever since Mulciber pulled that prank on her."

Cindy kept walking. "I know, and it was terrible, what he did, but Reg had no part in it. He was as furious with his Housemate as any Gryffindor. Why should she paint him with the same brush as Mulciber?"

"Because Slytherins have always been easy to be prejudiced against," Lily said. Then she cast a new spell Severus had developed called Muffliato, a charm that made it so no one could hear what you said to someone. "You're so lucky, Cin, that you can at least acknowledge Reg as your boyfriend and don't have to hide it."

"I know," Cindy whispered. "I wish you could too, but after what happened to Sev, it's probably safer this way."

"I know it is. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I feel like my whole life here is one big lie. I feel like every time I pass him in the hall and don't wave or say hello I'm pushing him further away, further down the dark road. I know it's not real, but that just makes it worse. I wish I could just end this bloody charade and stand up in front of the whole school and tell everyone I love Severus Snape, but that would destroy everything."

Cindy gave her hand a squeeze. "Hang in there, Lil. We've only got umm . . .three and a half months left till we finish school. Then it won't matter who you choose to date. You can even marry him."

Lily took a deep breath. "You're right. I just have to be patient."

"So, are you going to the game or not?" Cindy asked. "You never really said."

"I . . .I really don't want to. I'd rather study for my Herbology NEWTS and then go to Hogsmeade."

"Oh? Let me guess. Severus is visiting his mum."

Lily shared a secret smirk with her. "You're sharp, Graves."

"That was easy."

"Do you think I should? Do you think it'll hurt my . . .cover if I do that?"

"If you really want to and you think you can give a good enough excuse, then do it."

"Okay. I will. Just . . .don't be surprised if you wake up tomorrow and find a troll sleeping next to you."

Cindy laughed. "You're a riot, Evans."

SSLESSLESS

"Oi, Sev, you know the answer to this question?" Reg asked his roommate. "What's the sovereign specific?"

Severus looked up from his Charms review notes. "The panacea for all ills? It doesn't exist."

"You sure about that?"

"Positive."

"Not even the Sorcerer's Stone?"

"That's not a cure for disease, it's a gift of longevity. Like the Fountain of Youth. Trust me. There is no sovereign specific. It's a trick question."

"All right." He marked something off in his notebook. Then he looked up from his potions review and asked, "You going to see your mum this weekend? Or will you be at the game?"

Severus slanted a glance at his friend. "Black, that's a no brainer."

Reg chuckled. "Just making sure. I thought maybe you'd be there to root your roommate on. And I heard a rumor that Evans was going to be there."

"All the more reason for me to avoid it. I'm sorry I won't be there to wave a banner and scream for you to knock some arsehole Gryff off his broom though."

Regulus laughed. "I think I can manage that without you, Sev. I'll knock one off just for you, mate."

"You do that, Black."

"Oh, and tell your mum I said hi. Did you give her that tea my mum sent?"

"Yes, and she says to tell her thanks, it worked really well." Walburga had sent Eileen some raspberry leaf tea since pregnant witches shouldn't take potions during the last three months, and Eileen still suffered from occasional bouts of nausea and headaches.

"Mother's really good with herbals," Regulus said proudly. "She was going to become a herbologist before she met Dad. She still studies when she has spare time."

"Good thing. Mum knows a few remedies since she's a Potions Mistress, but I guess they weren't working. Sometimes she can only keep down soda crackers and tea. Makes me damn glad that I'm not a girl."

"Same here."

They returned to their studying, for both were determined to do well on their finals and NEWTS.

SSLESSLESS

"Lily, you sound horrid!" exclaimed Cindy on cue the next morning.

Lily began coughing loudly, the kind of deep wracking coughs that meant a bad upper respiratory infection. She also had a hoarse throat and was running a fever, according to Cindy's hastily cast fever diagnostic. "I think . . .I think I'm sick."

"Yeah, I'd say so."

Mary came over to see and gasped. "Blimey, Evans! You've got spots on your face!"

"Like acne?" Lily pretended to be oblivious.

"No, like green spots! Eeeww! I hope it's not contagious!"

"Maybe you'd better go to the Hospital Wing, Lily," Alice suggested. "And you'd better stay away from her, Mary. Some of these viruses can be airborne."

Mary nodded and backed away.

"Lily, do you want us to help you to the Hospital Wing?" offered Cindy generously.

"No. I'll be fine." Lily said hoarsely. "I mean . . .I can get there myself. I don't want to infect you."

"Humph! I've the constitution of a dragon," Cindy snorted.

"No, really. What I do need you to do is to give this note to James." She handed Cindy the note. "And then give this one to Reg." She handed Cindy a second note, which was really for Severus and explained what she was doing and to expect her at Eileen's cottage around twelve noon.

"Will do, Lils. Feel better." Cindy said, then she sailed out of the dormitory.

Lily gave a few more hacking coughs, just to sound convincing.

The rest of her dormmates cast her looks of sympathy as they left for class.

Lily did go to the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomfrey gave her a mild decongestion draft and told her to go and sleep for the rest of the morning. Lily returned to the Tower and spent the rest of the morning studying for her NEWTS.

At eleven thirty, she dressed and snuck out of the castle using the secret passage and once into Honeydukes, bought some chocolate for herself and Severus and Professor Marsh. Then she walked the short distance to the Marsh cottage.

She knocked at the door and heard a familiar voice say, "Don't get up, Mum. I'll get it. It's probably Lily. Or Dad."

She felt her heart race at the sound of his voice and then she wondered when Severus had started calling Dickon "dad". It's about time! Dickon was a far better father than Tobias had ever been, and she was glad Severus had finally come to terms with that fact.

The door opened and she saw Severus standing there, dressed in his Slytherin pullover, but his tie was askew and his robes draped casually over a chair. "Told you it was Lily, Mother," he called over his shoulder. "Come in, Lil, don't stand there like a sales clerk or something."

She stepped inside the homey little cottage and shut the door behind her. "Sev, I've missed you so much!" She caught him in a fierce embrace.

"Easy, little oracle!" he laughed, but then he was holding her against him and kissing her with just as much longing. "God, it's been torture, seeing you with Potter and wondering if he were. . . taking advantage of you."

"James? Not a chance. He knows if he tries to put a finger on me, I'll hex it off. And that's nothing compared to what Tuney would do to him if she ever caught him cheating on her."

"I'm glad you decided to come. I thought for sure you'd be in the stands watching your "boyfriend" score for Gryffindor."

"Please." Lily said with a grimace. "I'd rather be hit with a dozen curses. You know I've never cared for Quidditch."

Severus smiled. Still the same old Lily. "Come on, Mum's in the kitchen."

Eileen was sitting in a comfy rocker with lots of cushions and had her feet propped upon a small hassock with a large cushion. Her ankles were very swollen and her slender feet had expanded to the size of balloons. "Hello, Lily."

"Hi, Eileen!" Lily leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, your poor feet!"

"They look like melons, don't they?" the witch chuckled ruefully. Her belly was also bluging. She was wearing comfortable pants and a loose top with a robe over it. "That always happens towards the end of my pregnancy."

"Do they hurt?" the redhaired girl asked.

"Some. Luckily I have a devoted husband to massage them," Eileen said with a satisfied smirk.

"You'd have never caught her ex doing that," Severus put in. "Tea, Mum?"

"Yes, dear." Eileen said. "Well, Sev, Tobias and Dickon are two totally different animals. And glad I am of it. This pregnancy is taking a lot out of me."

Severus brought her tea and also Lily as well. The two sipped at it companionably while he fixed a cup for himself and sat at the table next to Lily. He peered at his mother worriedly. "Maybe . . .I probably shouldn't be saying this, but . . .maybe it wasn't safe for you to have another baby, Mum."

Eileen looked over at him. "Severus, I am perfectly healthy, and I'm hardly the first witch to have a child at my age. But every pregnancy is different. With you I was younger, yes, but I got terrible back and leg pains. This one makes me nauseous still and very tired and dizzy. But at least I'm not spotting."

"I don't understand. How can you say you're all right when you're sick all the time?" Severus asked.

"Severus, this is what happens, most times, when a woman gets pregnant. Having a baby puts a lot of stress upon your body, and it's only natural that I feel tired and sick some days."

"It seems like every day to me. At least everyday that I've seen you. I don't like it. I don't know how you put up with it."

"It's worth it."

"Is it?" He looked doubtful. "You look as bad as when the bastard used to get on you for something."

"Oh, Sev! Surely not that bad! And this is different, son. At least I know that I'm sick for a reason and that as soon as I deliver, the sickness will be gone." She patted her belly and smiled serenely. "In the end, when I hold my baby in my arms, it's all worth it." He still didn't look convinced. "Come here."

He approached her. She took his hand and pressed it to her burgeoning stomach. "Press here. Feel that? That's the baby's foot."

"It is?" He peered down at her.

"Yes. And here's the head. See, the baby's in the right position to be delivered. Of course, that'll change as he or she moves about." She guided his hand further up. "There's a foot and there's the little bottom."

A look of wonder came over his face. "How do you know what everything is?"

"Simple? I've run diagnostics on myself many times."

Suddenly, the skin beneath his hand moved. "Mum, the baby . . .is moving!"

"Yes, I know. It's getting quite cramped in there and the little tyke is eager to get out and meet you. Would you two like to see the baby?"

"How?" asked Lily, coming over.

Eileen smiled. "I can cast a special spell that will let you see the baby inside of me for about five minutes."

"But you just said you were tired!" Severus exclaimed.

"I am, a little. But I have more than enough magic at my disposal, son. You see, when a witch is carrying her magical capacity triples in strength. It's a kind of safeguard, so she can defend herself and the baby."

"Triples?" Lily cried. "Merlin's hat!"

Eileen took her wand from her pocket and tapped her belly, muttering a strange phrase in Latin that neither young magic user comprehended. A glow spread outward from her wand over her belly, and suddenly her skin became almost transparent and the two could see the baby inside her.

The baby was curled up on its side, its head tucked down and it was yawning.

"Look, it's sucking its thumb!" Severus cried. "I didn't know they could do that."

"Yes. And they can also smile a little. Dickon swears he saw the baby do that last time I cast this." Eileen said, smiling.

"I can see its little hands and feet! Aww!" Lily exclaimed, grinning. "And that wriggly thing—"

"That's an umbilical cord," Eileen told her. "The baby gets its food from there."

"Can it breathe in there?" Severus asked.

"Yes, through the umbilical cord. When its born, it will take its first breath of oxygen."

"It has tiny fingernails!"

"And hair." Severus squinted. "Only I can't tell the color."

"It'll probably be dark like yours," Lily guessed. "This is so cool, Eileen!"

All too soon, the spell faded.

She looked up at her son. "Do you understand better now, Severus, what I meant before?"

Slowly he nodded. Seeing the baby up close that way had made it more of a real person to him, and not just a bulge in his mother's stomach that was eating away at her, like a type of cancer. Now it had become a living entity to him, and he felt both protective and also a tiny bit jealous. He knew the baby would take up much of Eileen's time and she wouldn't be able to brew with him as often. Then he shook his head. It was ridiculous to be jealous of a helpless infant, his own brother or sister! Soon enough, he'd be done with school and married to Lily and moved out. And immersed in his duty for the Order of the Phoenix. He ought to be grateful that Eileen would be preoccupied with the baby, so she wouldn't ask any awkward questions.

"Yes. I never . . .it's just so . . ." he floundered for the right words.

Eileen patted his cheek. "I know. Dickon was the same way the first time I showed him. That's why they call it the miracle of life."

The two spent most of the afternoon with Eileen, having lunch and discussing various things, until all too soon it was time for them to return to the school. They took different ways back and left at different times, so no one would suspect they had gone to Hogsmeade together.

Lily returned to her dorm and fell on her bed, pretending to be sick, but she couldn't quite hide the smile on her face whenever she thought about Eileen's baby. Someday I want a baby . . .Sev's baby . . .she thought dreamily.

SSLESSLESS

April 25th:

Dickon and Severus were looking at a rare conjunction of planets, Venus and Jupiter aligning with Mars, when he heard Minerva shouting from inside his office, "Dickon, you'd better get down to Hogsmeade as quick as you can! I think Eileen's in labor!"

"She's what?" Dickon shouted, and then he bolted into his office.

Severus started to laugh. He had never seen the cool collected astronomy professor so flustered. "Don't pass out, Dad," he teased.

"Shut up, Severus!"

Minerva's face hovered in the midst of the emerald flames. "Dickon, take a breath."

"I'm fine, Minerva! I'm fine! I'm not hyperventilating. Tell Eileen I'm coming." Dickon cried, flustered. "Her bag's packed, I did that last night. Is she in a lot of pain? Do I need to call St. Mungos?"

"Dickon, if you'll let me get out of the fireplace, you can go to her," Minerva reminded him.

"Oh, right. Yes, of course. Goodbye, Minerva."

"Goodbye, Dickon and good luck!" she winked at him and withdrew from the fireplace.

"Okay, I'm going . . .Wait, I need my wand . . .Severus, where's my wand?" he glanced around panicked.

"Here, Dad." Severus handed him his wand. "Here's your cloak too and don't worry about your office, I'll lock up and take care of Eclipse. Oh, wait, he's with Mum. Never mind, just go. Go, Dad!"

Dickon threw down the Floo powder and called, "Hogsmeade, Marsh cottage."

The flames turned green and he leaped through them, just as Severus called, "Don't forget to call me when the baby's born, okay, Dad?"

"I will. Eileen, honey, I'm here!" he called loudly and then the flames died.

Severus stared at the fireplace and thought dazedly, It's finally happening. I'm going to be a big brother. Oh, Merlin!

He quickly locked up the office and was about to return to his dorm when he bumped into Minerva. "Professor, I . . .umm . . .didn't see you."

"I can tell. I was coming to lock up after your stepfather, I figured with the baby coming and all he might have forgotten . . ."

"I already did that, Professor." He fidgeted a little, then blurted, "Uh . . .how long does it take to have a baby? Do you know?"

"Well, Severus, it all depends. Seeing as this is your mum's second, it might go a wee bit quicker than it did with you."

"But how long?"

"Perhaps maybe four or five hours. Could be eight . . .could take fourteen . . .There's no way of knowing. Babies come in their own time, lad."

"Fourteen hours?" gasped Severus. "But that's . . ."

"That's only a guess, mind you. Don't worry, Severus. As soon as the baby's born, I'm sure one of your parents will Floo you." Minerva patted him on the shoulder. "Now, off to bed with you."

Severus obeyed, but he was sure he wouldn't sleep a wink. His clock read nine-thirty.

At precisely twelve o'clock, the stroke of midnight, Jessamyn Aline Marsh was born. Dickon Flooed Severus as soon as the baby had been pronounced healthy and was swaddled in a soft pink blanket. Eileen was exhausted, but very happy.

Severus came through and the first sight that met his eyes was Dickon holding a tiny pink bundle in his arms. His stepfather's face was glowing with a joy he had only seen when the astronomer was stargazing at a new star or a conjunction of planets. "Look, Sev! Look at my beautiful baby girl!"

Severus walked up and peered down at his new baby sister. Her face was a little red and she had a thumb in her mouth, just as she had that afternoon when Eileen had showed him the baby growing inside her. Her hair was dark and fuzzy and stuck up like dandelion tufts all over her head.

"Wow! I can't believe you're finally here," Severus murmured. "She looks so . . . tiny!"

"Maybe to you!" Eileen said with a weary chuckle.

"Mum, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Sev. How do you like your new sister?"

"She's great, Mum." He reached out a hand to touch her petal-soft cheek. The baby looked up at him and suddenly he felt an overwhelming urge to protect this tiny life. His little sister. "Hey, baby girl. I'm Severus, your big brother. But you can call me Sev."

"You want to hold her, Sev?" Dickon offered.

"I . . .umm . . ."

"Don't worry, Severus. She's a lot less delicate than she looks, trust me. You've held spun glass vials, you can hold your sister." Dickon said, smiling. "Hold out your arms, son."

Severus obeyed, and Dickon gently placed the baby in them. He carefully hugged the baby to him, she felt light and yet solid at the same time. She looked up at him and made a sort of sigh. "What's her name?"

"We've called her Jessamyn Aline, but that's too long of a monicker right now for a tiny tyke like her, so we've shortened it to Jess." Dickon said.

Severus smiled at his new sister. "Jess. That fits her. And when she's older, she can be Jessa." He took a seat upon the bed next to Eileen, the baby cradled close, and whispered, "Welcome to the world, baby sister."

Dickon removed a camera from his pocket and snapped a picture, thinking that now his family was complete.

How did you all like the newest addition to the Snape-Marsh family?

Next will come the end of the year, NEWT grades, and the war heats up between Slytherin and Gryffindor, but the bright spark of hapoiness gleams once more for the Evans sisters as each marries their chosen man, one in a wizarding ceremony and the other in a Muggle one.