Author's Note: So this is a much shorter chapter that focuses solely on X's feelings. I wanted to have the ending in the previous chapter, but it was already too long for me to give the ending proper justice.
EDIT: Whoops, it was brought to my attention that something was messed up when first I posted this. Don't know if it was because I uploaded 2 chapters in quick succession or not, but I'm sorry for screwing with those of you who had this chapter display properly for you.
X stood staring over the ocean for a long time. Hoping against hope that some flicker of a heat signature would appear, that maybe his thermal sight was damaged by the fortress explosion, that he might see his friends once they drifted closer towards shore on any of the numerous waves the Sigma Palace had created as it disintegrated during its descent to the ocean floor.
But he already knew that it was wishful thinking. The happy endings never were to be in real war. That was why they existed in popular culture; to inspire those who would never experience one themselves.
Even when the dropship had come and gone, taking the soldiers that they had succeeded in rescuing home, X remained. He didn't want to leave. This was the last place he'd had a glimpse of his friends from. To turn away from it would be to accept their deaths. And he couldn't do that. Storm Eagle and Teal had survived Sigma himself; nothing could have possibly taken their lives after they weathered such power, right?
...right?
X looked at his hands. One of them was still a buster, the other one with its fingers bent and awkwardly twisted, of no use. He looked at his left hand and remembered that it was Zero's weapon he was wielding. The weapon the red robot had used in his fight against Sigma when he was first discovered. The one that had shed the blood of the dozens of Maverick Hunters that tried to put him down before their commander arrived. The weapon that had brought Mavericks into the world. Led to the death of everyone who had fallen as a result of Mavericks. Caused the murder of millions and sparked the conflict that eventually took the life of its original owner. Along with countless other Maverick Hunters and humans.
X suddenly felt sick at the thought of such a thing on his arm. He detached it and kicked it off the cliff with a cry of disgust. He opened a panel on his right hand. There sat the data chips that contained the powers of the eight Maverick generals. Not caring how rough he was to his own body, X tore them out one by one with his teeth and tossed them into the sea. When that was done he kicked his other hand in after them.
Next came his armor. First the dash boots, then his helmet, and finally, after much struggling, the chest and shoulder pieces. They would join his original arm parts at the bottom of the ocean amongst Sigma Palace's wreckage. Now clad in his original blue armor for the first time in weeks, X collapsed to his knees and felt tears finally spill out of his eyes.
What good would those things do him anyway? They hadn't mattered when he needed their power. His friends were all dead or corrupted. He'd lost everyone dear to him. The fact that he had been empowered with his armor and the generals' weapons meant nothing in the end. He had still failed to protect those he cared about. He still had no business being a Maverick Hunter. Sigma was right. All that the conflict had succeeded in doing was turning him into an engine of destruction. All it had done was showcase the destructive potential of Reploids. It didn't matter whether he fought for his friends or not in the end, because their lives had been taken anyway. And it had done exactly what Sigma told him it did, mere hours (had it really been such a short time ago?) earlier. Deprived him of his heart, of his doubts, of everything that had made him X.
The real X would have tried every alternative to fighting before taking up the battle. The Reploid now contemplating his identity on a lonely cliff above the sea had done nothing of that sort.
Why had he chosen to fight? There must have been another way besides destroying them.
But how? It was natural to act in self-defense anyways.
Why did it matter? If he was truly X, he would have found the answer to that question instead of dodging it.
And even if Zero himself had died and his weapon cast into the sea where it could do no more harm, it was too late. Pandora's Box had been opened, and there would be no returning the demon inside to its prison. The Mavericks would continue to threaten humanity until Reploidkind itself went extinct. Even if he tried to run from the conflict, the war would find him eventually. There would come a time where he would eventually have to face Mavericks in combat.
He didn't know when. He didn't know how many times. But it was certain. That battle was not over. And with equal certainty he knew that bloodshed would come before any permanent solution, if there would ever be one.
A gentle breeze picked up, plucking away the tears as they slid down his cheeks. The blue robot examined the remains of his arms. He had been built with weaponry, and powerful weapons at that. Everyone but him had seen that there would be no permanent peace in the world. The bitter regret at his naivete only worsened the maelstrom of emotions that swirled inside him, white-hot and all-consuming as the stars that stretched across his field of view, yet as cold and empty as cosmos that they inhabited at the same time.
Only the weapons he wielded would know the answer to any of his questions. But was the answer worth spilling more blood? When so much had been lost already And then the visions started. When the visions changed from what he'd witnessed to figments of his desperate imagination, he didn't know.
Storm Eagle teleporting away just as his vision was overwhelmed by white.
Teal being scorched to ash and blown away by the shockwave that originated mere feet from her.
Boomer Kuwanger going rigid and then limp as Sigma's saber pierced his chest.
Sting Chameleon pinned to the floor by Velguarder, limbs shredded, the wolf's jaws around his neck.
Spark Mandrill falling from Storm Eagle's grasp onto Rangda Bangda's spikes.
Squid Adler's expression shifting from horrified to crazed as he lunged at X, tentacles bristling.
Magna Centipede, Wheel Gator, and Flame Stag writhing in agony as their systems were slowly taken over by the Sigma Virus.
Zero screaming in agony as Vile self-destructed on him.
Magma Dragoon sacrificing the second he had to attack Vile's Ride Armor by throwing his men back.
Web Spider screaming in agony as a ring of Ride Armors slowly pulled him apart by the legs.
Blast Hornet being chased by a pack of UCAV drones. He took one down, but the rest shot him to pieces with a storm of missiles.
A human dropship pilot shouting words that he couldn't hear was enveloped in a wave of fire as his beloved craft was blown out of the sky.
Sting Chameleon and Chill Penguin's desperate pleas for death as he stood over them.
A military soldier's eyes wide with horror as Sting Chameleon clubbed him with his spiked tail.
Three terrified young men watching as a huge block of ice that resembled a fist closed in on their yacht.
Storm Eagle tearing his hand from the one holding it and vanishing into the clouds below.
Civilians screaming as an out-of-control Bee Blader spun into their building and exploded. A rumbling and choking dust cloud as the building gave in on itself, the din drowning out the screams.
Inhabitants of Abel City, mechanaloid, Reploid, and human, civilian, law enforcement, and criminal alike, watching with curiosity and then horror as thousands of missiles plummeted out of the sky towards the very city they were built to protect. Screams as they were all mangled by the blasts and debris, cries for help, for parents, for friends, all slowly dying out and fading to silence long before overworked and tired first responders managed to reach the scene.
Sigma with his hand gripping X's neck. And unlike every other, which had been silent, the Maverick leader's words were loud and clear.
"As I've already told you, X, there are times when you can't hesitate to pull the trigger. You couldn't do it! You missed your last chance to stop me!"
"AAUUGH!" X screamed to the night. He slumped forwards and lay on the ground face-down, tears falling even faster.
"IT'S NOT FAIR! WHO SAID I DESERVED TO LIVE? THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!" Obviously there was no response. Even the breeze that had taken his tears away before had died down again.
X pushed himself back up on his knees and shuffled to the edge of the cliff, holding his arms out wide. His tears left dark trails in the dirt. "TAKE ME IN THEIR STEAD! THEY ALL DIED BECAUSE OF ME! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!" No response again.
"TAKE ME IN EXCHANGE FOR THEM! SOMEONE! PLEASE!" The continued silence elicited another deranged scream.
"DON'T TELL ME THAT I FOUGHT FOR NOTHING! ANSWER ME! WHY AM I ALIVE?! I DESERVE TO DIE!"
A terrible wave finally crested within him, a wave of pure animalistic emotion. "WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER?! HAVE I FOUGHT FOR NOTHING?! WHERE IS THE JUSTICE IN THIS FUCKING WORLD?!"
His voice cracked abruptly, and his screams were cut off. The echoes of his own despondent cry bounced his message back to him. Yes, finally a response! Let this twisted world where the evil survive and the good perish hear his message! Let them see just how wrong their world was!
But that too faded quickly, leaving a crying, scared, handless blue robot alone on a cliff, so small and insignificant compared to the sea in front of him and the mountains behind.
Author's Note: We know X's story isn't over, but this one is. And, for the moment, I think we need to leave poor X alone to gather his resolve. I mean, he has to at sometime, doesn't he, otherwise we wouldn't have a series.
I know a lot of you who read this until about 2018-ish know that I was planning to do Mega Man X2 as part of this one too. Well, long story short, shifting priorities in life have meant that continuation of "Variable X" is not a prospect. I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this story to reflect that, but I did originally have another chapter left. Unfortunately, that draft was lost with one of my past computers, and since it wasn't uploaded here, that's gone. I'm having enough trouble finding time to write "Everlasting Fire" as it is; resurrecting a project I haven't written anything for in two years was out of the question.
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who read, favorited, and especially reviewed this story. I don't think I could've even reached the halfway point in the original storyline without your encouragement.