I'm posting these two chapters together, because ya'll would kill me if you read this alone.
I open my eyes. And a letter falls out of the pile of papers in my hand.
Sookie mine,
I knew if I left this here you would find it. You're endlessly curious. By now, I am likely already gone. This is my last word to you. I can't bring myself to tell you good-bye, and if I did, I know you would never let me go. And I couldn't bear to leave. I'm taking part in a sacrifice called The Blót. Rest assured this is best for everyone…
"Your Majesty?!" Ysgar yells. He knows.
"He's going to sacrifice himself. Help me! Run!" I scream, as we run toward the beach.
Every second it takes to get there, every moment is a moment he may not have. I curse my own legs for being too slow.
Please, please, please…I'll give anything for him. I pray to every God I can think of from Jesus to Odin. Please, please…
My breath catches in my throat.
"Eric!"
Standing on the small longboat, he spins around.
I make a sound like "guk."
There he is, my husband, the man I love more than my own life, 6'4 inches of lean muscle, blonde hair flopping over his forehead, brilliant baby blue eyes. He has a sad smile on his face that turns to shock and anger. I never thought I'd see him again. I have to touch him, my arms are aching to hold him. I cannot believe it. I cannot believe it. He's right here in front of me.
Bile rises into my throat. I'm going to throw up from nerves.
"Sookie, no! You weren't supposed to get here this fast!" he howls.
"Eric, I'm not the Sookie you think, it's me from before we fell asleep, from our future, from 2012. Please, Eric, listen to me, I came back for you."
He looks skeptical. "Do you think I want to leave you, Sookie? But you won't leave without our boy, and I can't let him die."
"He's safe! He's fine and safe and looks just like you!" I wipe away a tear. Blood is roaring in my ears, and my head feels like it's going to pop off. "You don't need to die for him, he's safe and sound, I promise."
"Sookie, you can't trick me into this….I know you won't wake up."
"I will! I will right now, come with me! Come to me right now, and we'll both wake up this very second, I promise!" I howl.
He's deliberating.
"Eric, please", I whisper.
He shakes his head. "You would say anything right now. I'm not going to allow you to die of thirst. You'll be here forever", he says, patting his heart, "I'll take this love into the land of my ancestors where it will never die. I'll sit at my father's table again."
"My King!" Asgar shouts, "You are not some besotted bed slave going to join her master. You are a King, and this is not your decision to make!"
"A blood sacrifice hasn't taken place in centuries. I'll save my wife and child, and bless the village for generations. You will not have to worry about the Danes this time", Eric reassures him. Ysgar misses the "this time."
"Ysgar, you are the new King."
"No, you cannot do this…"
"Accept this with humility", Eric says, "I will stand in the Hall of Warriors, and hope I meet their worth."
"Eric!" I scream.
"You're mine. This is my job. Taking care of our child is yours. Ysgar, get her out of here! Now!"
But I slip through his fingers. Pure adrenaline driven by consuming love is a powerful force.
Eric raises a knife, with a beautiful ivory handle, into the air, and brings it down, slashing the veins in his right arm.
"No! Eric, Eric!" I'm too late, again too late….this isn't happening, this isn't happening….
That precious arm. I have to stop the bleeding.
"Baby!"
"Odin, VITTNE mitt slaktoffer!" Eric cries out.
I have to change something, distract him. Last time I dove into the water after he dropped the torch. So I dive in now. I need to get my hands on him, my arms around him.
"Sookie!" Eric yells as I jump into the water and swim to the karve, my mind trying to focus, but water that cold won't let you focus on anything but pain.
By the time I reach the ship, he hasn't dropped the torch, he's too focused on me.
"Pull me up!" I yell.
He tosses the torch into the water, and lifts me up with both hands.
He pulls me out of the water, and yanks me into his arms.
"Are you crazy?"
"Yes, crazy about you." I reach up on my tip toes and kiss him. I put everything I have into that kiss, my hopes, my dreams, my love for him, my desperate desire to have him back, the image of us together in the future. He breaks the kiss and looks down at me, a smile spreading across his face.
"It is you."
"Told you."
He yanks me hard into his arms, then he stumbles. Oh God, his arm.
"Let's get the hell out of here", I sniff. We both jump back into the frigid water and swim to shore.
"Your Majesty, what were you thinking?!" Ysgar yells.
But as we come onto shore, we're both soaked red with blood.
Last time, he burned while still alive to get it over with for me, and I've saved him from that fate. But technically, a blood sacrifice is supposed to bleed out. He slashed an artery, and he's human.
He teeters.
"Eric?" He's soaked, hot, red blood is gushing down his arm.
He falls to his knees.
"Sookie?"
"Eric!"
He falls flat. "I'm so sorry I didn't believe you right away. I love you."
"Eric!"
I rip off the bottom of my dress and wrap it around his arm, but it doesn't even slow the blood much less staunch it.
"Majesty, there's nothing we can do", Ysgar says, trying to pull me away.
"Eric, no!"
"Shhh", he whispers, reaching up, and touching my hair. "It doesn't hurt. This isn't like the burning was. This is peaceful, Sookie, even comfortable. I'm just getting cold, but it's okay. Tell our son I love him. I'm sorry…I listened too late…" No, I didn't come this far, try this hard, or wait this long to watch him die again.
"Help me put pressure on it!" I hiss to Asgar. He joins me and pushes down on the wound. "He only has to live long enough to wake up! Trust me."
"Wake up, Eric, you have to wake up now!"
Eric shivers as the blood flows out of him and he gets colder and colder. "He's going fast", Ysgar says. "You should say good-bye." He turns his head.
"Kiss me", Eric moans. Dammit, I don't have time for this, but I lean over and kiss him. He grants me access to his mouth, hoping I'm going to kiss him hard and long. But not now. He looks sad, like I've cheated him.
I'm very thankful for that CPR class I took at the YMCA a year after E.J. was born. I tear off another piece of my dress and tie off his arm as tight as I can. He yelps.
"Hold my hand", he requests. "Please. Make sure my body is burned, promise me."
I don't have time for last wishes, I'm too busy making sure these wishes are far from his last. But I can't help but take his hand as something comes into Eric's eyes I've never seen before – fear. "Eric, WAKE UP!"
He gasps, his body starts to jerk, and his blue eyes open wide. He squeezes my hand hard, staring into my eyes. And then his eyes close and his grip on my hand becomes limp.
Fuck! "No! This is NOT HAPPENING AGAIN!"
A life for a life, right? I'm looking around on the beach. "Give me your knife, Ysgar."
"Majesty…"
"This is an order from your Queen, I said give it to me!"
"No", he says.
"Eric", I say, turning back to him, "Wake up, wake up, you have to wake up now. You're a vampire and you can't die! You have to wake up as yourself right now!" But I think he's lost consciousness.
I'm not a suicidal person, nor a person who likes pain, nor particularly a brave person when it comes to these things. Do I have what it takes to do this? Without me, E.J. is going to need his father. I'm not going back without Eric.
I feel a pull. Lafayette is waking me up.
"Leave me alone, Lafayette!"
But I know he can feel that I'm in danger.
"I said give me your knife, a life for a life, I can save him!" I'm not going back without Eric, I'm not. My heart is thundering, I wipe the spit off my chin, and the tears away. "Please, please, I only have moments", I whisper. I shake Eric for all I'm worth, and give him that long, hard kiss. "Wake up, wake up! Please!"
Eric's men are running onto the beach, looking at me with hatred.
"Witch!" Asgar accuses. "I knew it the minute I saw you, coming out of nowhere. Listen as she speaks to voices in her head. You seduced our King and made him kill himself."
"Stay back", Ysgar roars at him.
"Eric!" I yell. He has no pulse.
"Wake up!"
I tip his head back, and breathe into his mouth, then try to restart his heart.
"One, two, three, four, five…" I count, doing five chest compressions. Then I tilt his head back again and blow into his lungs.
"Wake up, dammit!" "One, two, three, four, five…."
I can feel Lafayette pulling hard now.
"Leave me alone!" I tip his head back and breathe into his lungs. "One, two, three, four…"
"The sacrifice of a King was why he did it", Ysgar says, "And now I'm King. A life for a life. May you and Eric be very happy, and have many strong heirs together." And with that, he pulls a long, impressive blade from his belt, and he jams his knife deep into his abdomen.
"No!" That wasn't my intention. If Eric is already dead, he just killed himself for nothing. But he can't be, he can't be….
"Wake up!" I want to help, I want to do something…my mind is racing. But I can't. Lafayette is waking me up and these precious seconds are all I have left.
There's nothing I can do, Eric isn't responding to anything. I flip my leg over and straddle him, leaning over and cuddling him as close to me as possible. I cradle his head in the crook of my arm. "Wake up, baby, please." I bury my face in his neck, and inhale his familiar scent. I'm not letting go. I'm not letting go. No one can take him from me if I won't let go.
I open my eyes. Lafayette is leaning over me, his mouth hanging open. "Oh my f*ckin God."