I make sure when the sun goes down, I'm back in bed with him. As his eyelids flutter, he looks over at me and smiles.
"I wasn't sure it was real."
"I know what that's like", I answer. I can't help touching his face. He's so very beautiful.
"How do you feel?" I ask.
"Good, good", he says, assessing himself. "I feel fine."
"Then I'm going to go get E.J. Jason will be testier than a rattlesnake that I left him there all day. I'll go get him and bring him right back, okay?"
"Okay", he says, rubbing his eyes, and then looking at me. With those brilliant blue eyes.
"God, you're hot", I moan, and pull him into my arms, seizing his lips.
His crafty hands are already trying to divest me of my shirt.
"Stop, stop. Or we'll never stop", I say.
He lets me up. With a glance back, I go down the stairs, and grab my keys from the counter.
When I knock on Jason's door, two very unhappy boys are on the other side.
"Sookie, do you know what time it is! E.J. has been here for 12 hours! He's hungry and tired and he needs his Momma, and I need a break!
Not twelve hours, Jason, heaven forbid you had a child in your care for twelve hours. But I don't push my luck.
"Jason, it's Eric….he's back", I say.
"What?!"
"Jason, that's what Lafayette and I have been working on, putting me back into the dream…you know, it's too complicated. Eric is back, he's alive. Or as alive as vampires can get."
"Oh God, Sook", Jason pulls me into his arms. "I'm so happy for you, I'm really happy for you. I was worried…"
"Everybody was. He's back."
He clutches me tight just in time for my sleeping son to wake up bawling. "Momma!"
Jason carries him over to me as E.J. stretches out his arms to me.
"It's okay, baby, it's okay. I have to talk to you, E.J. There's someone at the house who wants to meet you very much."
"Hunter?" he asks.
"No honey, this is someone you don't know."
He squirms.
"Come on home, sweetheart, we'll talk about it in the car…thank you Jason."
Later, I'm carrying E.J. as we walk up the front steps. I can see Eric a little bit through the kitchen window. Divested of the fur wrapped around his waist, he's back in his usual dark jeans, and a tshirt that costs more than my grocery budget for a month. I hear my floorboards creaking. Eric is pacing.
I think it's best I'm holding E.J. so he knows he's safe. "He's come a very long way just to meet you."
"Just to me me?" E.J. asks.
"Yes." I open the door.
Eric looks up with a jolt, wringing his hands.
I carry E.J. into the kitchen and into the light. Eric gasps loud. He stumbles, and nearly trips.
"Are you alright?" I ask. Stop scaring me!
"Fine", he whispers. He can't look away from E.J. "He looks like…" he starts.
"I know."
"Baby, this is the person who's come so far to meet you. E.J., this is your Daddy."
My son looks rather…horrified. He turns around and buries his face in my chest. "No, no…" he whines.
"He's scared of vampires", I remind him and Eric nods.
"E.J. why don't you say "hi"?" I suggest.
"Noooo", he whines.
"It's okay, don't force him", Eric says, but I know his heart is breaking. I know how much he wants to hold him. I can feel it.
We need an ice breaker.
"When was the last time you ate?"
E.J. at me. "Hungry."
"Did you have sloppy joes with Uncle Jason?" I ask.
"Yes."
"How long ago?"
"Morning." He says.
"Perfect, my baby hasn't eaten in twelve hours, no wonder you're cranky. I'm gonna kill your Uncle Jason. What's fast? Spaghetti is fast."
"Sketti!"
I put E.J. down, and miraculously he doesn't grab my legs or anything. He sticks close though, and I have to watch out for him underfoot. Every few minutes, he looks over at Eric, who is watching him like a hawk.
E.J. can sense the predator in Eric, just as he did in Bill. He knows something is wrong.
"Can Daddy hand you the box?" I ask, discreetly giving the pasta box to Eric so he can hand it to him.
"Not my Daddy", E.J. pronounces.
My heart is tearing for Eric. "We'll call him Eric then. Introduce yourself."
Eric comes forward, and squats down, eye to eye with E.J. "Hi, my name is Eric, what's yours?"
"Ewic", my son repeats. "Haha, that's silly."
We both laugh. "But everyone calls you E.J.", Eric supplies.
"Momma and Punkle Jason and Lafet and Miserlotte and Miss'lene and MisserTerry…" I wonder if he's going to list the whole town.
Eric hands him the box. "What do we say?" I ask E.J.
"Thank you", E.J. says, and hands it to me. He's still shaky, but starting to become more interested than scared.
I set the water to boiling and dump in the pasta.
"Can he help you set the table?" I ask E.J., but he's back to shaking his head, afraid.
"You sure? He's tall enough to get the plates without me."
E.J. looks over to confirm if this is true, and Eric takes down a pile from plates from the cabinet.
"See, you don't need Momma", I say.
Eric walks to the table and E.J. will not be left behind. Eric hands him the plates and E.J. puts them where they belong.
Eric is being so patient. He can't look away for a second.
They follow the same pattern with the silverware. Eric gets it, E.J. trails after him, Eric hands E.J. the forks and knives and spoons, and E.J. puts them where they belong. Setting the table takes more time than the pasta takes to cook. I'm heating up a jar of sauce.
I carry everything to the table, and put some on E.J.'s plate, then my own. E.J. is hungry and tears into it. When he's getting full, he looks over at Eric, then his own plate, then mine. Adorably, he pushes his plate toward Eric.
"No thank you, I don't eat spaghetti", Eric says, breathless at E.J.'s generosity.
E.J. looks at me for confirmation, like it's the strangest thing he's ever heard. "That's silly", he says again.
We were both starving and finish up fast. I'm starting the dishes because I can't tolerate a mess.
"Why don't you show Eric Taffy?" I ask.
A big smile comes over my son's face and he goes out the back door on the porch, and lets the kitty inside.
"Kitten", E.J. says, pointing to Taffy. I suppose he imagines that if Eric doesn't know what spaghetti is, he must not know much about anything else either. He pats Taffy softly on the head.
"He's a very nice kitten", Eric offers, and E.J. grins wide.
E.J. takes Taffy's little red ball out of the corner and throws it, and the curious kitten bounds after it, almost like a puppy.
Eric follows him, and they sit down on the floor together and push the ball around for a delighted Taffy to chase around.
E.J. is laughing and smiling, and has forgotten his fear for the moment, which is what I wanted. They flick the ball back and forth. E.J. erupts into that child's giggle that makes you think there really are angels and they do sing. Eric flicks it a little too far.
"Oops."
"Oops", E.J. laughs and gets up to get the ball, but Taffy grabs it and carries it away. E.J. erupts into a belly laugh.
"Let's sit on the sofa", I say, putting down the dishtowel. Eric stands up and E.J. is back to shaking and hiding behind my legs. Eric must look like a mountain to a small child.
I pick E.J. up and carry him over to the sofa. I put myself between them to make E.J. more comfortable. He hides on my side and sticks his head into the arm of the sofa.
"I need to talk to Pam", Eric says.
I have no desire to talk to her or see her ever again. That's a conversation I'm not starting. It will come up sooner rather than later.
"I'm sure she senses me. I don't know why she hasn't come", he says.
I take Eric's hand. Oh boy, sigh, is that nice.
He rubs my hand with his thumb, then raises my hand to his lips, then puts it down on his thigh.
E.J. is staring. If looks could kill.
"I think he's upset with me right now", Eric says with a chuckle.
"He doesn't know why you're touching me. Or taking my attention away."
"Momma, no", E.J. objects.
"It's okay, baby" I tell him, but he's not havin it.
"Momma, no, cold!"
"He knows something is off, Eric, it was the same with….Bill. Bill was cold, and you're cold. He thinks you're dangerous."
"Smart as a whip", Eric says.
"He's not cold, honey, he's just not warm like we are", I try to explain.
He shouts at Eric. "Bad!"
"No, honey…" I sigh, as my son scoots as far away from Eric as possible. I'm just hoping he doesn't start crying. I would have to break this up for now, and try again tomorrow, and I know Eric's heart would break too.
"It's okay, he doesn't trust me, and he's very protective of you. I'm proud of him", Eric says, smiling at E.J., who looks like he'd like to punch his father.
"Don't mess with a Viking whatever his size", I laugh.
"Momma", my son says, and leans against my chest, yawning. He falls asleep, but seems to sleep with one eye open. Every time Eric moves, he looks.
"He's your twin", I tell Eric, but I know he saw it immediately.
"I understand why you wanted to stay in your own home, but your life would have been much easier if you'd just moved into my condo. There are dozens of people there who would be happy to help you." It wasn't an option of course, thanks to his precious progeny, but I still would have stayed here. This is my home. We've lived here since we got married, but he also knows that Bill is just across the cemetery.
"I suppose I'm glad you had someone so close." Alluding to Bill already.
"We didn't need him. I can take care of myself", I remind him, squeezing his hand.
"I know you can, but you shouldn't have to."
"Momma." E.J. snuggles down closer. He wants to go to bed. Eric's puts a big hand flat on the sofa, and E.J. opens his eyes to stare.
"He's good, baby, even though sometimes it's in question, deep down, he's good." Eric raises an eyebrow at me.
E.J. crawls over to him and puts his hand on top of Eric's. It's a legendary moment for all of us, and both Eric and I are choking back tears. Red rims Eric's eyes.
E.J. jumps when it sees it, but then stands up on the sofa and watches a long moment.
"Don't cry, Ewic", he says, reaching out.
"Can you say "don't cry, Daddy?" I ask.
"Don't cry, Daddy."
Eric lifts up his hand, and E.J. pushes his against Eric's so they're palm-to-palm.
E.J. climbs onto his lap, and rests his head against Eric's chest.
Red rivers are rolling down Eric's cheeks, but I can tell he's trying not to scare E.J.
And just like that, everything is okay.
"Can Daddy put you to bed?" I ask.
He's out like a light. Eric picks him up and stands, draping his sleeping son over his shoulder.
He's tentative. "Go ahead", I say. Eric rocks him and rubs cheek against E.J's.
"His heart beats so fast, like a bird", Eric says in wonder, "he's so warm." He kisses E.J.'s temple and strokes his soft hair.
It's love at first sight. "I love him, Sookie", Eric says. His hands are full and he can't blink back the bloody tears on his face. I had become so accustomed to a warm husband with clear tears.
I join them and cuddle them both to me. Eric lets out a sobbing noise, and then swallows hard. I stroke his back. "It's okay, baby, it's okay. He's yours forever."
Eric inhales his scent and presses his lips to E.J.'s hair. "Where does he sleep?"
"In my room. I moved into Gran's big room after…I couldn't be in my old bedroom again."
He carries E.J. up the stairs. I flip on the light. My clean-aholic tendencies couldn't be indulged as much as they used to be, there simply wasn't time. The room is definitely lived in. I didn't even make the bed. Eric sniffs. I know my scent must be really concentrated in here. "Yum", he says. Good Lord.
E.J.'s big boy crib is against the wall. Eric carries E.J. over and lays him down. I pick up E.J.'s ultra soft stuffed bunny off the floor and lay it down next to him. E.J's arms snap around it like Eric's do around me, and he clutches Bunny tight.
"He's so beautiful, Sookie, so perfect, you've done such a great job." He pulls me into his arms.
It means everything to me that he thinks so. I reach up on my tip toes to kiss him. "You're asleep on your feet", Eric says, and strips off my clothes piece by piece. He gets in bed and opens his arms. I jump into them.
"You slept all day", I say.
"You think I'm leaving you alone?", he asks "I'm never letting you out of my sight." I'm sleeping in Eric's arms. I really am. "Mmmmm", I nuzzle down into his chest and inhale his smell.
But I toss and turn. My mind won't shut off. What if I wake up and he's gone? What if it all was a dream?
"Let it go", he says, kissing me, "I've got you. You'll never be alone again."
I drift off.
I wake up, and I don't know how long it is later, I'm guessing around two in the morning. Eric has his Kindle in one hand, reading, and I'm tucked in his other arm, my head on his shoulder. His arm runs down my side and he has a big hand on my hip. He must have gotten up and gotten reading material. And that's not all he got up and got. E.J. is sound asleep on his father's chest. Eric might sense I'm awake I don't know, but I close my eyes and drift off again.