I lied. I just can't stay away from you beautiful people xxx
-x-x-x-
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once."
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
23
If he hadn't been with me on the plane to L.A., I think I would have gotten back off before they had a chance to roll us away from the jetway. The feeling of being that bit further from my family was scary in a way that it never had been before. I knew it was a fear that would settle with time, once the fragility of life didn't seem so potent. It had become a mutual concern as Charlie and Alice had both subtly expressed their comfort in knowing I wasn't going alone. Edward's hand held mine between our seats, and we passed the time with discussion of our studies, college days, and my thoughts on what I wanted to do with my degree after this project. It was the first time I'd talked about the future with purpose in nearly four months.
The meetings were successful and smooth. A cast had been settled on, the executives were happy with the script, and the next time I would be required was for a couple of days of read-throughs on location before shooting started. I was a small fish in a big pond, and there was a lot to learn, but my mentor and the author seemed suitably impressed. It wasn't the daylight hours that would be the most memorable though.
The first night Edward and I had a quiet dinner at the hotel restaurant. When we'd checked in that afternoon, he'd paused in the lobby to ask if I wanted two rooms. I wondered why I hadn't ever thought that we wouldn't share. It just seemed natural. He was a perfect gentleman when we got back to the bedroom, which I decided was a good thing for now. I wanted to do far more than just have him hold me, and I also knew I needed to make sure I was completely ready for that. Edward was important, and I wanted to be all that he deserved when I gave all of me over to him. Not so much physically, because I was pretty sure that would take care of itself, but mentally.
The second night I came back to the hotel to find a new dress laid out on the bed, along with a pair of heels I would covet but my credit card would decline. He was already dressed in dark pants and a steel grey shirt, and he informed me we had a reservation at a restaurant I'd always wanted to dine at. He said it was a fortunate coincidence we both liked to eat great food, so it wasn't just fulfilling his own L.A. agenda. I tried to ignore the eye-popping designer label when I slipped on the black fabric in the bathroom, admiring his choice in the mirror before quickly refreshing my makeup. His expression when I returned to the room reminded me of the merits of getting glammed up. Edward had never seen me like this, and I found that for once, it was my smiles making him smile, rather than the other way around. He admitted when I thanked him a third time for his impressive efforts that he'd checked in my suitcase for shoe and clothing size. He chanced it and went down a size on the dress, and the worry that glanced his face encouraged me to say yes to dessert when the waiter asked.
I felt Edward watching me as I gathered up my phone and wallet to head out the door. I looked down at myself one last time and felt a shiver of anticipation and change zap down the length of my body. Before I could look up again, arms wrapped around me in a hug. Edward's chin rested on the top of my head, and I let myself nestle against him. Hugs were so underrated.
"I'm so glad you let me in," he said quietly above me.
"So am I," I replied against his chest.
There was a little more heavy petting that night, as my nana used to say. The energy between us across the candlelit table was new. The glances over the top of wine glasses as coy sips were taken. The passing of forks as we made appreciative noises over culinary genius. The way there were no distractions elsewhere in the room, our bodies zoned only for the cocoon around us. When we fell into bed that night, kisses gave way to purposeful touches; lips against necks, breasts, collarbones, and almost everywhere else; fingers searching out warmth and an orgasm that made me forget everything but the man working me over so expertly with only his hands and mouth. I slept a full six hours without a dream, wrapped up in his body.
I finished at lunchtime on our last day. We took in some of the sights of Hollywood, and I brought Ali a pair of stripey Italian ballet flats from a little boutique store. It was the first time in a long time that I'd stepped into a shop that didn't only sell groceries or coffee. That afternoon, I didn't feel like "the dead girl's sister," or that I shouldn't be feeling the things I was feeling as Edward clasped my hand in his while walking along the streets. We didn't bother with clothes to sleep in that night, and the activities once the lights went out followed a similar course to the one prior. Discovery morphed into familiarization as we began to commit every curve, freckle, and sensitive spot to memory. I had never felt so comfortable with a man seeing or touching my body before. Edward felt like home.