46

Innocence Regained

Severus contacted Dumbledore the next morning, and they met at Grimmauld Place, which was the secret headquarters of the Order. He explained to Dumbledore about the dreadful sights he and Lily had seen and how they wished to remove them from their mind and place them in memory vials. "Then we would be free of these horrible nightmares and able to function more capably as spies, and also you would have the memories for evidence should something unforeseen happen to us."

Albus agreed readily. "I apologize for not thinking of that before, Severus." His eyes looked saddened. "I know this task has been a heavy burden for you both, but you have managed to do something no one else in the Order ever has—you have managed to get close to Voldemort. And he does not suspect either of you. That is simply amazing."

Severus shrugged. "Amazing? Not really. I am a Slytherin and supposedly friends with many Death Eaters. I am an obvious candidate and I bear the Mark." He had a slight sneer over his features. "Who would ever suspect Severus Snape, the greasy grungy Slytherin?"

Dumbledore looked pained to hear the younger man mock himself with such bitterness. "Severus . . .when all of this is over, I promise no scandal or taint will cling to your name. I promise you that, on my honor as Head of the Wizengamut." He steepled his fingers and sighed heavily. "Unfortunately, I must ask you an even more difficult thing . . .you must make yourself indispensible to Voldemort. He must trust you as he does almost no other. It is essential if we are to discover any sort of weakness he has which we can use to bring him down. It will also save lives, for if he tells you his plans, you may send us word in time for us to foil them."

"The way you did last time? With that Muggle family?" sneered the other.

Albus paled. "There we . . .made a dreadful error. It was not done on purpose . . ."

"Tell that to the people who died!" growled Severus. "I shall do as you request, sir, but only because you are right, and anything I can do to stop the bloody bastard from murdering more innocent people is worth my disgust and loathing at having to pretend I am his loyal follower. On one condition," he added slyly.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "And that is?"

"That you form a team of Aurors or Order members whose purpose it is to act immediately upon the information Lily and I pass along to you. Make them into a crack fighting unit, ready to leave at a moment's notice to rescue innocent people or fight off the Death Eaters. For I am sick of risking my neck and trying to save lives only to have everything mucked up by incompetent idiots! Give me that, Headmaster, and I shall become Voldemort's best friend!"

Severus' eyes bored into the old man, and Albus flinched, for there was fire and midnight in his eyes and a steely determination that was second to none.

"That will take time, my boy. A week or two at least."

"Fine. Getting the Beast to trust me will also take time." Severus picked up the Pensieve and the small empty memory vials Albus had given to him. "Thank you for this, sir. Now I must be getting back home. Lily will have supper on and I need to study for an exam."

"Very good, my boy. How are your studies going, by the way?"

Severus dodged the other's attempt at meaningless chitchat. "Well, sir. Now, I must be off. Good afternoon."

He then Apparated away, close enough to his house that he didn't have far to walk. He knew Lily would be very grateful for the Pensieve.

When he entered the house, he found Lily just removing a pan of shepherd's pie from the oven. "Sev, you're home. I didn't hear you come in. Sit down, this just needs to sit for about ten minutes before we can cut it."

He obeyed, setting the Pensive on the table. He sniffed appreciatively. "Mmm. Is that your mum's recipe?"

"Of course! Who else? Mum makes the most delicious beef shepherd's pie." Lily said. Then she spotted the Pensieve. "Severus, where did you get that?"

"From Dumbledore. I paid him a visit after my class let out. I figured we could both use this to get rid of those bloody nightmares."

She bit her lip. She hated admitting to any weakness, but she knew he was right. The nightmares of what she had to do at that last meeting were driving her insane. "Thanks, Sev. I know it's not a cure all, and we'll probably need years of therapy once this war ends, but it's a start." She put her arms about him and hugged him.

"We can use it after supper." He told her, tilting his head up and giving her a kiss. She was standing behind him, her arms draped about his shoulders. "Then maybe we can get a good night' sleep."

"Merlin be praised! I could use that more than anything." Lily told him, then she kissed him back.

She waved her hand and the Pensive was levitated into the small parlor, along with the case of vials.

At last the shepherd's pie was cool enough to cut and they both ate hungrily. Lily reminded her husband that Jess' s birthday party was tomorrow, and he asked if she had picked out a present yet for the little imp.

"I did. I got her a magically animated stuffed kitten. It purrs and meows and rubs against you and it looks like it breathes and it even takes naps. I know how much she loves kitties and Eclipse won't let her get near him. Or Sorrel."

"Can you blame them? Last time she grabbed Sorrel's tail and dragged her halfway across the room, and I'm surprised Eclipse has a bit of fur left after she got hold of Dickon's scissors and tried to "groom" him."

Lily giggled. "Well, at least she didn't dye him the way I did when I was little to my Aunt Peg's kitty."

Severus waved a finger at her. "The two of you were hellions. I'll bet no cat was safe from you."

Lily grinned impishly. "Not till I was seven and pestered my mum to death to get one of my own. But she died, got run over by a car before we moved to Spinner's End."

"That's too bad. But I think Jess will love your present. What time is the party?"

"Three o'clock in the afternoon. I think she also invited Tuney and my mother. Dickon will be there too."

"Good. I wonder what my mother planned for her?"

"I think it's a tea party."

"A tea party? Oh, joy." He said, slightly sarcastically.

She poked him. "Severus! You're lucky. It could have been a circus."

Severus shuddered and silently thanked God for small favors. He would, of course, attend, but only because Jess would probably throw a tantrum to rival Hera if he didn't show up. And also because he loved his sweet bratty sister.

LSSSLSSSLSS

Jessa's birthday party:

Finally, the cake and presents had been opened, and the two co-workers with toddlers that Eileen had invited had at last taken their sticky-fingered children and gone home, leaving only the immediate family at the little house on Spinner's End. Severus was relieved, since the shrieks of the toddlers had caused him to develop another headache and he found he could only tolerate other people's annoying cherubs in small doses. Like maybe thirty minutes at a time. They had been there for over two hours. He had taken a Headache Remedy and managed to endure the little pests, finding a corner of the sofa to relax in, and wishing he were a cat so he could run and hide under the sofa instead of on it.

Dickon, though he had no aversion to children, used his stepson as an excuse to escape during the tea part of the party, and carried a plate of small sandwiches and sweet cakes over to the sofa along with a pot of strong tea. "Don't tell me you were up late brewing potions again, Sev?"

Severus opened one eye. "No. We were up late doing other things," he answered, concealing a smirk. He wanted to see what Dickon's reaction would be.

The Astronomy professor chuckled knowingly. "Ah. Then you and Lily are still trying?"

"Yes." Severus replied, sitting up and accepting the tea Dickon held out to him. "She wants one like Jess very much."

"And you, son?"

"I wouldn't mind one or two, but . . .I'd rather it happened later on. Lily's afraid though that she might not be able to conceive, apparently it runs in her family, but I keep telling her not to worry, that there are potions for that sort of thing." He sipped his tea and ate a roast beef with cucumber sandwich.

"Indeed. Has she been to see a Healer?"

Severus shook his head. "Not yet. She wants to wait. Me too. I need to finish school, and want this damn war to be over before I bring a child into the world. It's not safe right now."

"Not for Muggleborns and those who defy the dark regime, no," Dickon said heavily. "Even at Hogwarts, you can find factions expressing their opinions openly now. Those who support the dark strut around openly and sneer about it, and I have to break up fights almost everyday in my class or out of it. Last time, I told Dumbledore we should forbid students to carry wands outside of class for a few months, it would cut down on the number of curses we had to undo."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "It's that bad, Dad?"

Dickon nodded gravely. "Worse than when you were in school and those Slytherins attacked you. They did that in the dead of night. Now, they do it right in the middle of the corridor. They've even taken to playing nasty jokes on me or any other teacher who dares to reprimand them."

"What is Dumbledore doing about this? Sitting on his arse eating lemon drops?"

"He tries to run interference when he can, but a lot of the troublemakers' parents are on the Board of Governors, so if he punishes them too harshly, they might make him resign, and then Merlin knows who would be put in his place?"

"But he is doing something? Not just letting them get away with hexing people?"

Dickon nodded. He couldn't blame Severus for not trusting the Headmaster, given how Dumbledore had allowed the Marauders to bully him for so long. "It's a bad situation all around, Sev. But we'll muddle through it somehow, lad. We always do." He held out a Queen cake to his stepson. "Here. Your mum baked these. You know you can't refuse them."

Severus took it. Dickon knew him too well. "Thanks." He wished suddenly that he could tell Dickon everything, that he wasn't sworn to secrecy about his role as an agent. Dickon would understand, his presence and pragmatic attitude always made Severus feel better, and he hated keeping secrets from the other wizard. Damn Dumbledore and his bloody oath! He bit into his cake, it tasted deliciously of cinnamon and brown sugar and spice, and there were raisins in it and a rich cream frosting on top.

"Mum hasn't lost her touch," he said and ate another one.

Meanwhile, the women were discussing pregnancy and babies, with Petunia and Lily soliciting advice from Polly and Eileen, while Jess played on the rug nearby.

"It took me three years before I finally managed to catch and carry Petunia," admitted Polly. "Before that, I went through a lot of nonsense with herbal teas and counting days on the calendar for fertility and one miscarriage. I had almost given up when all of a sudden I was pregnant. Doctor had me on bed rest for three months with Tuney."

Eileen nodded knowingly. "I was on bed rest for a month with Severus at the end. I was like a balloon all swollen, and I couldn't wait to deliver, I was exhausted and sick all the time."

Petunia sniggered. "Men! They drive you crazy both before and after they're born. I haven't heard from James in a week, and I hope that wretch Sirius hasn't gone and gotten him into trouble."

"Why? What's Black done now?" Lily asked.

As Petunia told them about James' last letter, Jess took her new plastic tea cups and toddled out of the room without anyone seeing her.

The intrepid toddler had gotten the pretty yellow and pink rosebud tea set from Petunia, it came with a small wicker basket to store everything too and was perfect for a two-year-old. She loved it, and also her kitty from Sev and Lily. Polly and Henry had gotten her a doll, one that had dark hair like her and was dressed in a cute jogging outfit with small removable sneakers. Eileen and Dickon had gotten her clothes and a self-stirring small cauldron with fake colored potions. "Just like the one you used to have, Sev," announced his mother, making him flush and roll his eyes.

Jess returned and walked slowly over to the two wizards, holding the tea cup in both little hands. She was wearing a beautiful ruffled party dress of turquoise with a yellow rose on the bodice, though she had long before ripped off her satin shoes and socks.

"What d'you have there, lass?" Dickon asked his daughter, giving her an affectionate smile. He adored the little girl and regretted that he didn't have more time to spend with her because of his teaching. But he did make an effort to come home for a visit at least every other weekend, if he weren't busy grading exams and papers or running the Astronomy Club.

"Tea!" she announced. "Daddy play tea party witha me?"

Dickon heaved a sigh. He knew he was going to regret saying yes, but he couldn't refuse his baby girl a request on her birthday. "All right. Is that for me?"

"Uh huh. It's for you, Daddy!"

Dickon caught the cup before it spilled all over the couch. It was three-quarters full of water.

"An' this is yours, Sevvy!" she handed Severus one too, only his had barely any water in it.

"Thank you, Jess," Severus bit back a groan. He wondered whether all little sisters insisted upon their older brothers playing with them. Here he was, nineteen and married, and playing tea party!

Dickon eyed Severus' half empty cup and smirked. "Here, Sev. You look like you got shortchanged. Have some of mine." He poured some of his "tea" into the other's cup before Severus could refuse.

Jess clapped happily. "Now you has to drinks it!" She gave them a stern look.

"All right, little Miss Bossy!" her father said, than he manfully swallowed the water.

Severus hesitated, feeling ridiculous.

"Go on, Sevvy! Drink my tea!" Jess ordered impatiently.

Severus reluctantly took a swallow.

Just then, Lily looked over to see what her sister-in-law was up to and started to smile. "Aww, how sweet! Jess has her daddy and big brother playing tea party with her!"

Severus shot her a "bloody-hell-Lily-help-me" look, which his loving wife pretended not to see, instead turning back to Tuney and Eileen with a hidden smile. She adored how her husband could be wrapped about Jess' little finger, despite his protests to the contrary. You try so hard to be all stern, beloved, but you can't fool your baby sister. Or me either. It was one of the things she loved best about him.

"It all gone!" Jess announced sadly, peering into the bottom of Dickon's cup. "I gets some more, okay?" She also took Severus' cup, and then turned to get some more water.

A puzzled Eileen watched her little girl head for the hallway and called, "Jessa, honey, where are you going?"

"I's getting' more tea watta, Mummy!"

"Tea water? But how . . .? That child can't reach the sink!" Eileen exclaimed, even more bewildered. "Jess, where are you getting the tea water?"

Lily had wondered that too.

The toddler turned about. "From the potty!"

For an instant no one spoke or moved, they all remained frozen in disbelief and shock.

Severus was the first to regain his voice. "Great Merlin! Dad, we just . . .drank . . . toilet water!" he nearly gagged. "I-I need to go and rinse out my mouth . . .ugh!" Either that or throw up, he added silently.

Dickon looked faintly green at first. Then he chuckled ruefully. "I should have known better than to just accept what she gave me. Ah, well, you learn something new every day, right, Sev?"

"Yes. Never take anything from a toddler unless you know where she's been." Grimacing, he rose and hastily beat a retreat to the bathroom down the hall.

Behind him he heard the women all bust a gut laughing hysterically.

Then a shrill little voice wailed, "My Sevvy! Comma back here, Sevvy!" Jess followed him, still clutching the tea cups in her hands. "Want some more of my tea party?"

Severus whirled on her, one hand on the knob of the restroom door. "No! Bloody damn hell, Jessa!" Then he went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, though not before he heard Eileen's sharp tone.

"Severus Snape, you watch your language! Before I forget you're too old and wash out your mouth. There's a baby in the house!"

"Sorry, Mother!" he called through the door.

"Sevvy! Come out!" his little sister bawled, kicking the door.

Severus winced and forced himself to ignore the child while he uncapped a bottle of Sparkle-Glo Magic Mouthwash and rinsed his mouth out for five minutes, and then brushed his teeth for good measure. I hope like hell I don't catch some infectious disease or something. Ugh! If I ever have a daughter, I'm banning tea parties till she's twenty!

When he finally opened the door, Jess was standing there, her black curls sticking out all over, looking as dejected as a whipped puppy. Her bottom lip was sticking out in an adorable pout. She sniffled. "Sevvy mad?"

He immediately felt like an ogre for shouting at her and swearing. "Mad? No, I . . . it's just . . .you should ask Mum next time for the tea . . .Never mind, minx. Just . . . .no more tea parties today, okay?" He picked her up and hugged her, wiping her face with a towel. "I'll play something else with you instead."

" 'Kay, Sevvy," she sighed, laying her head on his shoulder.

He congratulated himself on his cleverness at getting her to give in without bribery or tantrums.

Then she sat up and crowed, "How's 'bout we play Pretty Princess?"

Severus looked flummoxed. "Huh?"

She wriggled to get down. "I gets the dresses!"

Dresses? Oh, no! No way in hell! It was then that Severus started to wonder if his darling baby sister was possessed by Voldemort.

LSSSLSSPPJP

May 1st:

"Gather round, ladies! Do you know what today is?" Bellatrix asked her group of witches, whom she had summoned early in the morning to her estate.

Most were still yawning behind their masks and bitching about lost sleep. Only Zoey was silent, her stomach cramping in fear. But not for herself. She knew when Bella called her witches together, it meant but one thing—someone was going to get hurt or killed, some poor innocent who had done nothing save be within range of the psychotic witch's eyes. Zoey fought back a wave of nausea and forced herself to breathe deeply and snap a light Occlumency shield over herself. Severus had begin teaching her the discipline at her request, hoping it would help alleviate her suffering somewhat. And protect her from anyone trying to probe her mind. In two weeks she had managed to learn how to put up a shield that would block the worst of her emotional reactions to the horrors she had to witness as a purported Death Eater.

Her mind was still fuzzy however, so she blurted the first thing to come into her head in regards to May 1st. "It's a bank holiday."

Bellatrix whirled upon the younger witch. "Brilliant deduction there, Nightdusk! Who doesn't know that? I was talking about something else. Well?"

Zoey pretended to crestfallen, though in truth she would rather Bella think her slightly stupid, it would prevent her from being relied on by the dark witch for plan and "prisoner games". Bella enjoyed torturing Muggles and blood traitors and often asked her coven for creative ways to make a person talk.

Narcissa said calmly, "It's May Day."

"Just so, Cissy! Here's a posy for you!" Bella snapped her fingers and a fake flower appeared. She tossed it to Narcissa and smirked. "May Day. And we all know what happens on May Day, right? Besides the banks being closed."

"There're parties. Lots of dancing and singing and the May queen crowned and the Maypole dance," recited another.

"Very good, Parkinson! May Day was also the day, according to legend that King Arthur gave permission for his soldiers to hunt down and slaughter any boy babies in his kingdom, because he feared his bastard son would someday attempt to usurp his crown and kill him." Bellatrix's eyes were gleaming.

Zoey felt the sliver of fear in her bosom grow to a dagger and stab her, robbing her of her breath for a moment. No. Please, no. Don't let her do what I think she's going to.

"And people thought Arthur was so pure and good! Ha! He precipitated a massacre of little children! All to protect himself from his own son! See, my sisters, you can't trust everything you learn in school. Or out of it. Sometimes they lie, or omit the bits they don't like." Bellatrix's smile was like a shark's. "Anyhow, we're going to follow Arthur's example and have us a little May Day celebration of our own! Won't that be fun? I have here the names of two families that have been unusually outspoken about hating our Lord."

She held out a piece of parchment. On it were two names. Matthews and Shakespeare.

Zoey did not recognize the former, but the latter were descendants of the famous playwright, from Will's brother, Gilbert. They were writers, they published a small magazine called The Three Witches and reported upon mostly current events. The magazine was one Zoey liked, and subscribed to. The editor of it, one Judy Shakespeare, was not afraid to give her opinion on tough or frightening issues and she was one who detested Voldemort. She was also the recent mother of twins.

"So . . . we have decided that a purge is necessary. We shall kill their firstborn children and then make them dance about a bonfire kindled with the remains of their dearly beloved children. Such is a fitting punishment for those who dare to defy the Dark Lord! Yes?"

The witches all roared their assent. All except Zoey, who coughed and acted like she was suffering from a dry throat. Her mind was racing. She had to warn the families, had to alert the Order. She could not bear if another child died and she could do nothing.

When is this to take place? I must know. She opened her mouth to ask that question when Bella answered it for her.

"We shall meet here again at night, right after dusk and then we shall strike. So make ready, my sisters! For tonight we teach those Mudblood scum respect. All hail the Dark Lord!"

"All hail the Dark Lord!" chanted the others.

Zoey tasted bile in her throat, but forced herself to utter the words.

Bellatrix laughed, the sound was utterly unlike anything resembling mirth that Zoey had ever heard. "Good! Dismissed!" She caressed her arm, where the Dark Mark was branded and hummed a singsong tune.

To her horror, Zoey recognized it as "Rock-a-bye Baby".

Then she Apparated back home and sent out her Patronus, a white falcon, to inform Dumbledore of her discovery.

He sent back his own, a phoenix, to reassure her that her information would be acted upon immediately, and the families were be removed and sent into hiding.

Lily removed her mask and robe and sank down on the couch. She Summoned a Calming Draught and gulped it down, then prayed that the Order would be in time to save those marked for death by Bellatrix's hand.

When Severus arrived home from class, she told him about what had happened. He hugged her and said quietly, "Let us hope that Dumbledore kept his word to me and acts upon your information, Lily. All you can do now is wait and see."

He made dinner that night, though Lily had little appetite and barely picked at his chicken and rice dinner.

At last, she received a note from Bellatrix and she donned the hated regalia once more and Apparated to the LeStrange residence.

Everyone was there and Bellatrix hopped upon her broom and led them to the first residence, the Matthews, a family of blood traitors. Only to find the house empty and the family gone.

Bellatrix spent several minutes blistering the air with savage fury, then put two of the Death Eaters on night duty to watch the house.

She then led the rest of them to the Shakespeare residence, which was still in Stratford, only to find that it too was an empty shell, all its occupants fled.

Bellatrix nearly turned blue in fury. "Merlin's hairy balls! This is too much! Somehow they've been warned!" She spat. "You—Zoey! And you—Martha! Stay here and see if anyone returns tonight! If they do, alert me at once, d'you hear? At once!"

They both promised her they would.

Behind the mask, Zoey was smiling. Finally, innocents had been saved from the cruel fires of war. So, even though she was forced to spend hours sitting on a low stone bench, invisible, in a dead garden all night, instead of celebrating May Day night with her husband, she rejoiced, and a small part of the innocence she had lost before was regained, along with her faith in her fellow Order members. If she could have, she would have done a Morris dance right around the cherry tree in the middle of the garden. At last, her warnings had been heeded, and something had gone right.

Thanks for being so patient!

The tea party scene really happened-my great-niece Natalie( 2 1/2) played the same trick upon her dad and brother one day last month, much to the amusement of her mom! Hope you all liked this part!