I know - three chapters in one day! Exciting stuff! Unfortunately I've just got to another hole in my story that I need to fill... We'll have to continue this sporadic uploading schedule at a later date.

Also - I'm seriously excited that you're all following and liking my take on these characters! It's making me happy.

I own nothing.

11. Horizon

The colony is quiet.

Arianna stares up at the Collector ship as it retreats, sighing in frustration. They've saved a few but too many have been taken. There's nothing more to be done she thinks as she rubs a tired hand across her face, pushing down her gnawing anxiety. All she really wants to do now is run, run through the colony for some sign of him.

"One of your former crew is stationed on Horizon."

Why hadn't he told her before? She remembered throwing a hefty and expensive-looking ornament in her new cabin after the Illusive Man had refused to share his intel on where he was just after she woke up. Now she knows, and she is no better off for the information. A cold feeling of dread is pooling in her stomach and waves of nausea are washing over her at the thought of actually meeting him on the planet. What on Earth is she going to say? Ta da? And this is assuming he's been spared and not currently on the Collector ship that's now nothing more than a small dot in the sky.

She shakes her head to clear it; there is still work to be done here and she cannot afford to slip into non-military mode.

"No! Don't let them get away!"

The mechanic runs past her, towards the ship and she sighs once more. "There's nothing we can do. They're gone." Her voice is heavily resigned. How many more did she have to lose? How many more times will she be too late? It's like Mindoir's repeating itself over and over again.

"Half the colony's in there! They took Egan and Sam and Lilith! Do something!"

Kaidan hears the raised voice from where he's talking to his XO on the other side of the building. He shakes his head in disgust at the mechanic; those guys, whoever they were, had just saved their butts.

"I didn't want it to end this way, we did all we could."

Kaidan freezes in place, his eyes wide. "No." he breathes.

"Sir?"

He waves a hand at the Lieutenant to quiet him and peers cautiously around the low colony house. It's like looking back in time, he thinks, the cogs in his brain whirring furiously in an attempt to process what he's seeing. She's standing there, pistol held loosely in one hand, her green biotic corona flickering. Her eyes are just as vivid as he remembers and her hair… He frowns. It's the only thing that's different; a light grey, almost white in the sunlight. Anderson had been stonewalling him, he realises, when he'd asked about the rumours; they appear to have more than an element of truth.

He retreats around the corner, his back pressed up against the wall. What the hell was she doing here of all places? It's not like he isn't grateful. He's pretty sure he's never felt quite so helpless in his life as when that wasp-like insect got him. Standing, with his shotgun half drawn, completely immobilised and unable to assist the colonists. He's going to be haunted by Lilith's wide, manic and hysterical expression for a very long time.

But why here? Why now? If she's been alive all this time, why has she waited to talk? Why has she left him in the dark? He fell to pieces after she supposedly died and he's only now begun to feel like he's putting himself back together. Well, he thinks, now is as good a time as any for a horrifyingly awful confrontation.

Ignoring the strange look his XO is giving him, he takes a deep breath and steps out into the open.

"Shepard," Delan is saying in response to something he hasn't heard, "I know that name."

"Commander Arianna Shepard." He says, his voice hushed but thankfully more confidant than he feels, "Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Saviour of the Citadel." He can feel her emerald gaze cutting him to pieces as their eyes meet across the field. "You're in the presence of a legend Delan," he says, turning to the mechanic with a disapproving frown, "And a ghost."

Arianna sees a flash of something cross his face as he murmurs the last of his speech, his brown eyes snapping back to hers almost in accusation. Arianna looks more closely at his facial expression and sighs; no that's not almost, she thinks, it's definitely accusation. Apprehension swiftly replaces the relief she is feeling at seeing him alive.

It occurs to her that this might be harder than she had first thought.

"All the good people we lost and you get left behind." The sour mechanic grumbles, "figures."

Arianna bristles at that unconsciously; Kaidan notices her hand tighten around the holster of her pistol and he nearly smiles. Some things haven't changed at least. Delan walks away, his shoulders stooped in grief. Arianna watches him go, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. Out of the corner of her eye she notices Garrus take Miranda's arm and steer her over to the other side of the field. She swallows her nerves and turns back to face him, forcing herself to meet his gaze.

They stare at each other for a while, each of them unsure of what to say. Now he's closer, he can see the beginnings of a reddish tinge to her hair through the white. There are thin scars dancing across her face with what looks like lights flashing underneath her too-pale skin. He finds himself wondering if the rumours are true and if this is actually his Arianna standing in front of him. Did Cerberus really bring her back? Or is this just some clever cybernetic robot?

"Well you look different." He says in French, his voice hushed, face expressionless.

Any suspicions he is harbouring about whether it really is her are squashed as she taps the side of her nose and smiles her lop-sided smile, "I'm incognito." She replies.

He can't help himself, regardless of the fact he's completely and utterly furious, he steps forward suddenly and wraps his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. She still smells the same, a small part of his brain notices.

"I thought you were dead Shepard, we all did." He murmurs.

His voice sounds different, she thinks to herself, older somehow. Like he's aged half a century instead of the two she's been away. She wants him to crack a joke, grin at her or tease her mercilessly about her hair. Hell Joker has been calling her "old man" since she woke up. Miranda has assured her it'll go back to its natural colour eventually but she's beginning to wonder. She wants some sign that he's the same, dependable Kaidan.

He pushes her away suddenly, as though he's remembered he's angry. She watches the internal battle flicker across his face and can understand. On the one hand, he's ecstatic that she's alive, but on the other…

"You don't seem too happy to see me." She says, apprehensively. She realises her hand is still stretched out towards him and she drops it to her side sheepishly.

"You're supposed to be dead. I believed you were dead Ari." And now he's angry, really angry. "Where the hell were you? I though we had something, something real. I… I loved you." His eyes are flashing with accusation, "How could you let me think you were gone? How could you put me through that? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

He's pacing in front of her, his arms waving and it strikes her that it definitely looks bad. What Cerberus did to bring her back is completely unheard of, incredible.

"I was clinically dead," she says, some spiteful instinct she's completely disgusted with, jumping into her speech, "it took two years to bring me back."

She hates herself in that moment. She wonders why it is that the people she loves can get that sort of a reaction out of her. He's shouting at her, sure, but she shouldn't be shouting back. She has inadvertently hurt him deeply and, even though it's not her fault, some small part of her brain is telling her she should be letting him shout.

Arianna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, "They wouldn't tell me where you were." She says in French, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Who, Cerberus?" Kaidan's voice is unsympathetic, his tone raw. "I've heard the rumours, Shepard." He emphasises her maiden name and it's like a slap in the face, a nail in the coffin.

She's lost him.

Arianna bites her lip and her eyes flash dangerously. Kaidan sees it, but a perverse voice in his head is telling him he doesn't care.

"So what if I'm working for Cerberus?" She spits at him, her voice cracking. "They're the only ones willing to do anything about the Collectors." She waves an armour-clad arm angrily. "Look around you Kaidan, the council doesn't care, I've spoken to them myself." Her accent has doubled, he notices; never a good sign.

Kaidan ploughs on, regardless. "Oh and you really think I'm out here patching the artillery?" He scoffs, his arms folded. "The Alliance received a tip that Horizon was going to be the next in line."

"THEY GOT THE TIP FROM CERBERUS!" She screams at him.

That same, small part of her is aware she's being completely irrational, that she doesn't trust Cerberus as far as she can throw them, and that now is probably a good time to share that with him. But to be completely honest she's righteously pissed off at his reaction to her being less-than-dead.

"The Alliance believed Cerberus was behind the attacks in the first place." He takes a step closer and Arianna nearly gasps at the fury in his eyes. "I wanted to believe the rumours you were alive, but I never expected anything like this. You're working for the enemy? You've turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance." He turns away, his shoulders stooped, "You betrayed me."

In some ways, she can see his point. But he's being so infuriatingly black and white that she just wants to beat his head against the side of the nearest colony house and/or smoosh his face in with her pistol. She throws her hands up in the air with a frustrated cry.

"Do you really think I would do something like that without a good reason? You know me. Think Kaidan." He's turned back to face her and she can see some flicker of uncertainty forming underneath his stubbornness. "You know me." She says again, softer, "You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting human colonies. They're working with the Reapers."

He runs a tired hand through his hair and exhales, his frustration mirroring her own. "I want to believe you Ari but I don't trust Cerberus. Have you considered they might be using the threat of the Reapers to get you to work for them?" Damn him, she thinks; the truth being she has considered it. "What if they're working with the Collectors?"

"Kaidan," she huffs angrily, "You're so focused on Cerberus that you're missing the real threat. Don't you see that?"

His eyes are fixed in their obstinance but she can at least see some signs of her argument hitting home. She softens her features, forcing some of the anger into submission.

"Come with us Kaidan." She tries to keep the pleading notes out of her voice but fails, spectacularly.

They stare at each other once more and Arianna can practically see the inner battle he's fighting. She knows, in that second, that he still loves her. He hasn't moved on like she's feared he has. But this is huge for him, she realises, and she's beginning to think they're not going to be able to come back from this.

"Good luck Ari." He says, his voice soft.

She opens her mouth to try again, try to make him see her side of things, to make him believe her wild and impossible story. But she seems to deflate suddenly, admitting defeat. The emerald in her eyes is dull and sad as she stares up at him. She's disappointed in him, he realises, and that cuts him deeper than any of her words have.

He steps forward and rests a hand on the side of her neck, leaning forward to kiss the top of her head. "Stay safe, ok?" He whispers hoarsely leaning his forehead against hers for a brief second.

And then he's gone.

Arianna turns and slowly trudges back to the shuttle, her feet heavy and her face low. She ignores the pitying look Garrus has for her and the confusion of Miranda's before getting in and closing the door behind them.

Horizon is quiet.

Blergh. Man I am done with the feels.

Hah - joking. I'll be back as soon as I get a flash of inspiration to fill that gap I mentioned before.