*Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable, all those rights go to Stephenie Meyer. As all song rights go to the listed artist. I only own any original characters.
A/N: First, as always, I want to thank all of you who have reviewed, read, and added this story to their favorites and to their following list. All of your support means so much to me. I hope I managed to get back to everyone that left a review and were able to answer your questions. Again, Thank You all for your support!
I am very, very sorry for how long this chapter took to get posted. I'm usually always late with posting but not usually about two months. Things have been busy and continue to be, and will only get busier. Hockey season has started again, so I spend a lot of time at the rink or traveling for games. Add in family, friends, and now the holiday season, I can't say when I will get the next chapter up (it is written, but not edited). I hope it won't take me two months, but no promises.
As for this chapter I moved forward, its now Christmas Eve. Bella has been living with Sam, now for a little over two weeks (so this chapter takes places about two weeks after the last chapter). In this chapter you will get a small overview of what has happened in that time. I know its been a long time waiting, but the wait is over as Jacob and the rest of the boys are in this chapter and ready to make themselves a permanent part of this story. I also used Spanish in the chapter, its been a while since I've taken class for it, and I don't speak it often. I tried my best, and even cross checked it however mistakes happen if so I apologize ahead of time for it. I did however put the English Translation right under the Spanish form, to make it easy to translate.
With that said, on with the story :)
Keep on doing the same old thing,
And you expecting change.
Well is that really insanity
Or just a losers' game?
I only trust in the things I feel,
Some may say that's ... strange.
You better recognize what is real,
Cause forever is a long, long, long, long, long,
long, long, long, time...
Some things never change, here we go again.
Feel like I'm losing my mind.
Shake it off, then you go, I don't care anymore
Just go numb.
Song- Numb
By- Usher
The cool glass pressing against her forehead of the old sedan's window felt soothing as she fought the agitation at having to break what had become her daily routine to now being forced into a tightly enclosed backseat like a sardine with three other people, as she was currently being chauffeured to Port Angles by the Clearwater family.
Her soothing quickly disappeared as a hand graced her inner thigh lightly before it pushed off and jerked away. Rolling her head slightly her eyes landed on a wide eyed Seth, whose blushing was deep enough to appear through his russet skin. Moving down the line her eyes landed on his bitch of a sister, Leah, whose lips formed a devilish smirk; it didn't take a genius to figure out by Seth's posture and Leah's face to know she had elbowed her brother as they went over the pothole resulting in the roaming hand. Drifting her eyes a bit further she could see Samuel, her usually over watchful brother, was deeply engrossed with the contents of a piece of notebook paper, as if it held the answers of the universe, to have noticed his girlfriend's actions.
'Figures' snorted through her thoughts. No matter how much she wanted to verbally bash the wicked bitch of the northwest, Bella wasn't stupid. She would be greatly out- numbered in her attack as it would be four verses one (seeing as Leah would deny it, and quick to take her side would be Harry, Sue and Bella's ever loyal brother, Samuel). Her eyes shifted back to the now rigid Seth, his hands interlocked in a death grip on his lap, he was a sweet boy. He loved to heckle his sister but when it came to others (even his sister), he was caring and sweet; and he has been nothing but nice since the day Bella had met him.
He never pestered about her past, he focused on the here and now and was never one to leave an awkward silence as they either sat in her room listening to music or the garage as she tore away at the old chevy beast. He was always babbling along as he would hand her tool after tool. Taking in the young boy's face again, Bella couldn't help but see Seth truly was to innocent and sweet to pick a side as he wouldn't want to go against his sister, yet he wouldn't want to lie either. It was something she couldn't help but respect about him, therefore, she would save him from the argument and let sleeping dogs lie.
Bumping Seth's arm she got him to stiffly shift his worried gaze to her, making sure to meet his gaze her features softened as she gave him a nod in comfort. Instantly she saw his shoulders drop and him unwind. The tender gesture was something that wasn't seen from her as she hadn't once in the time she had come to La Push offered such a gesture to anyone. 'Not like I've met anyone outside The Leave It to Beaver clan,' her mind snorted in amusement at the reference. 'Well unless you count Old man Quil,' she huffed at the thought of the old coot/pain in her ass.
Sam controlled almost every aspect of her whereabouts and who she was around. It drove her insane, his controlling nature. It put her life into a routine of waking up, getting dressed, going downstairs and being forced into awkward conversations between Sam and the Clearwaters, who were already there as Sue came every morning to cook breakfast with the help of Leah. Every morning Sue went on and on about how it was expected for her to learn to cook. At first Bella would just roll her eyes and ignored her before darting out to the shed or over to Old Quil's. Sue seemed to allow it to happen four or five times before telling her that if she didn't help make it she couldn't eat it. Which quickly made Bella's blood boil and as bad as she wanted to tell her where to shove that idea, she learned a long time ago from Manny that actions sometimes speak louder than words. So without a word Bella went to the cupboard, pulled out a bowl and some cereal, along with some milk from the refrigerator and effectively made her own breakfast.
She watched as Sue and Leah glared at her defiance as she took every bite with a smirk and to this day she could have sworn she heard Harry snickering behind his morning paper. Same went for lunch and dinner, being sure to make a sandwich in order to stick to Sue's rule. Bella didn't mind it as a sandwich allowed her a quicker escape of what could be an uncomfortable family type meal that included awkward silences as everyone waited wondering who was going to be the one to drop the bomb and again start questioning Bella about her whereabouts over the years. It was something she had no intention on sharing right now or if ever with them. Trust was a big thing for Bella and she didn't trust anyone of them - not even Seth - enough to share her past with.
As school broke for the holiday season, Sam became even more a presence in her life. He was always pushing, pushing her to look at albums of the family which she always refused, pushing her to talk about her past, pushing about what her thoughts and current feelings are, and for her to get to know him and the Clearwaters - being sure in one of those attempts to let her know that the Clearwater family had no idea about her being left behind for good as Harry really believed she would join them not long after they left. Yet as soon as any of that was brought up, she replaced the added bricks to her wall and left the room, effectively marking the conversation over.
To her, routine was key for survival in this new life. Wake up, be evasive, work on her car, see the old man under the pretense of a check-up, and always refusing Sue's attempts to take a look (Bella was not about to risk her secret to become public), hang out with Seth in the garage or in her room, then go to bed when the Clearwaters left.
Interaction with Sam was hard, he seemed to rely on Leah as a crutch and Bella hated it. She had a hard enough time being around her brother but to add another person into it and expect her to open up just wasn't going to happen. She could see the frustration in Sam's eyes at her refusal and the same in Leah's but with anger mixed in which only pissed Bella off more. Where did this girl get the right to be angry with her?
While it was frustrating to no end, the routine seemed to keep Bella somewhat sane as she knew what to expect with each day. That is until today, when it all changed. She was woken by music blasting through the house, and not just any music, the unbelievably chipper music known as Christmas music. Knowing it wasn't going to be turned down she dressed and descended the stairs to enter, and if she didn't know any better would have sworn was the North Pole. Lights, garland, Santa's, snowmen, wreaths decked the halls and more. While that was a shocker the biggest came when she entered the kitchen and there was no Sue, in fact no Clearwaters were to be seen.
Making her usual bowl of cereal, she made her way into the living room unable to stop herself from choking at the sight of the Christmas explosion that happened in there. Even more lights, holly, more garland, Christmas stockings along the fireplace, more of anything that had to do with the holiday was anywhere and everywhere. The only thing that stood bare was the tree, a tree that stood just short of the ceiling, causing her brow to furrow until Samuel jogged down the steps with a big grin on his face. 'I was hoping we could decorate it together,' his voice happy but cautious as he made his way to a big red box of decorations. Bella wasn't sure if it was the idea that intrigued her or the fact that he had more decorations which caused her to step forward to the large box. 'This tree isn't going to be as bare as our last one-,' his words right then and there broke Bella's intrigue as he brought up something she didn't' want to talk or think about - plus he again thought he could make up for something.
Without hesitation she turned and went back to the kitchen to empty out her bowl, her hunger long gone. She didn't miss Samuel's frustrated sigh before he called out that the Clearwaters would be there soon to pick them up for the annual Christmas parade, followed by some last minute shopping in Port Angles.
"Bella!"
Seth's voice loudly echoing into her mind had her lifting her head up from the glass and look around. She had been so lost in herself that she never noticed that not only had they parked but the car was empty all but her and Seth.
"Sorry," she mumbled as she pulled on the handle and exited the car, followed closely by Seth. As she stood she couldn't but notice not only were Sue and Harry in a heated debate but Samuel was completely lost in Leah's excitement. 'Figures,' her inner tone clipped as she watched her brother once again leave her behind.
Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she turned her head to see Seth with his eyes shining with support. She didn't get how someone so young could be deeper than those so much older. He never showed her pity, just support and a friend, if she dared to reach out for it. "Thank you, Seth," a small upward twitch playing at her lips as she watched his eyes brighten even further at her gratitude.
"Alright kids. Since someone had to finish up the sports highlights before we could leave this morning, we missed the parade, so that leaves the shopping. We will meet you all back here at five," Sue sighed, clearly annoyed at the fact that the day's plans hadn't gone the way they were suppose too, as she drug her husband down the town's city street.
"She is going to make him pay big time," Seth chuckled causing Bella to raise an eyebrow. "She is going to try to make him not only hold her purse, but hold the hangers of possible outfits, then sit and wait while she tries every last one on," he snickered.
Bella's inner voice snorted in amusement, 'Maybe I should pity him'
"Bella," turning her gaze she could see Samuel had emerged from his Leah bubble.
"Samuel," she saw him flinch and the hurt flicker in his eyes as she used his full name; he hated the full use of his name as much as she hated hers. But he was insane if he thought she would call him anything but that; he wasn't her Sammy anymore and he wasn't even just a Sam as the use of those names would require affection - affection she couldn't and wouldn't give.
"Uh, yeah. I just wanted to see if there was any store you wanted to go to."
Bella couldn't help the look she threw his way. Was he insane? Like she knew what was here, plus what was she going to buy? She didn't have any money, the only way she knew to acquire anything was using the methods she learned on the streets and were perfected by her uncles. "Sure, Samuel. You know what; let's go to my favorite store, the one I always go to whenever we come here," she bit out as she watched him recoil from her tone.
"You-"
"Bitch? You know, Lee-Lee, that might offend me if it wasn't true."
"Lee-".
"Sam-".
"Seth-", Bella snickered.
"Bella-", chortled from Seth.
"Well, now that we are sure we know who everyone is-".
"Not funny, Bella."
"It wasn't supposed to be, Samuel. Who am I to make lite of a serious situation. You should always know the names of your traveling companions in case you get lost, and lucky for us we made sure of that."
Sam ran his fingers through his hair, his frustration growing before taking a deep breath and speaking, "Bella, you can follow us and if there is any store-".
"No!"
"What do you mean NO," his agitation rising.
"No, I don't want to follow along and play happy yuletide shopper," she snapped. "I didn't even want to come here, I just wanted to stick to the day to day that has gotten me through; but as always, Samuel, it's about you and your wants not mine when you planned this excursion."
Seth and Leah could both see it, could see the brim of tears in Sam's eyes. He was losing his grip on the situation and fast. He had such high hopes and at every turn Bella fought him, never fully understanding why she did. Leah even mentally winced as she took in her boyfriend's state, she knew she didn't help the situation the way she was goading Bella. She couldn't help it, Leah was a bitch in her own right and even more so when people close to her were being hurt. Things needed to change and she needed to be one of them. "You know, you're right, Bella you haven't been here before. Why not explore the town and find out what you like at your pace," Leah softly spoke.
"NO WAY!" shouted from Sam.
All the while Bella stood there shocked at Leah's remark, she took her completely by surprise thinking for sure that she would have torn her apart for what she had said to Samuel.
"There is no way that is going to happen. She can't be alone."
Sam's words finally broke through causing her to turn her eye to him. 'How dare he!' raged through her. It wasn't her that couldn't be trusted. She didn't turn on him he turned on her and he was the one who wasn't trustworthy.
"She won't be, Sam. I'll stay with her," Seth cut in before they had everyone on the city's street gawking at the feuding siblings.
"You! Seth are-"
"a good choice, I'd say," a gruff voice cut in causing all to turn to see Old Quil now standing next to them. "Leah has a good point, Samuel, and from all I've seen in the past two weeks Bella and Seth have a bond. He might be young, Samuel, but he has Bella's back. So go on now."
Sam eyed the elder and the two that stood before him. Bella still refused his company, but he couldn't deny the old man's words that Seth had managed to do what he couldn't and that was bond with Bella. While it wasn't trust, it was the start of something, something more than he had which frustrated him even more. What did Seth do that he didn't?
"Go on, Samuel. Bella will be back here at the time the Clearwaters agreed on." Sam could see in the elder's eyes that he understood his biggest fear that Bella would find a way to run away. "Won't you Bella?"
"Yes," her tone was anything less than annoyed.
"Alright, five o'clock, Bella. Come on Lee-Lee," he sighed giving in because honestly what choice did he really have.
"Seth, my car is across the street. Can you fetch me a jacket as I have seemed to have gotten an unexpected chill." With a nod Seth darted across the street leaving Bella alone with the elder.
"How is the truck, Bella?" his voice full of mirth and strain as he fought the urge to call her by her full given name.
"A large pile of scrap."
"I'm sure you can figure it out. You seem to have a knack for it from what Seth says."
"Seth talks to much."
"Perhaps. But Bella we have a deal. You try to make it work and you keep, as you call it, your pile of scrap you tinker with."
"What do you think I've been doing?" she snapped as she turned her fiery eyes to meet his.
"Existing and building, Bella. Not living, not trying," he sighed as he watched her turn away from his gaze. "There is a difference, Bella, and you know it. You are holding yourself up behind your walls and that is expected and I never planned to see them crumble overnight. Yet you let yourself live in this non-stop flowing anger and bitterness among other things. While it's good to feel, it's sometimes good to shut it off and feel nothing at all so you can see beyond the feelings that blind you. Once you do that, Bella, you will be living and trying." Softly he guided her face back to his, "I'm not saying that your brother doesn't have much to learn, because he does. But sometimes those who hurt the most have to be the bigger person and open themselves up to more than black and white, Bella. As they look and listen to that around them in that gray area where it isn't just right and wrong," pausing for a moment he allowed it to sink in "you started to allow Seth get close to that wall, you probably even lowered it a bit for him without realizing it yourself. He's a good boy with a kind heart and you know you'd be surprised how many of those you'd find around here if you allowed them the same chance you allow Seth."
Bella was about to retort, she didn't understand how he expected her to do any of that. Samuel had her interaction limited to himself, the Clearwaters or Old Quil for a check-up.
"Here you go," Seth's happy tone cutting in before she could retort.
"Thank you, young one."
"Hey, Bella, as I was at Old Quil's car I saw a bunch of the guys at the park. Let's go hang with them, huh?"
Bella's eyes flashed back to the elder and she could see the gleam in his eye. He had set her up; sent Seth for something he didn't need, knowing he would run into his friends. Therefore since they were now using the buddy system, Seth couldn't go unless she did therefore pushing her into interacting with others. Bella had to hand it to this old man; he was a tricky one for someone so old.
"Come on, Bella. Please," Seth's pleading voice making its way into her ears.
Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes as saying no to Seth was like kicking a puppy. "Why not," she huffed as he pulled her along. She threw a glare over her shoulder at the old man who was smirking as if he was the cat that got the cream.
A slight stumble had her quickly turning back around to what was in front of her and closing in faster then she would like. Ahead of her sat two russet skinned boys, perched on a picnic table right by the swings. She could see while they were the same in so many ways, like skin color, smiles, and hair color they were also different. One was tall and lean, the other was short and stocky.
"About time, Clearwater," the shorter one called out, startling Bella out from her inner analysis.
"Like you don't have plenty of it to kill," Seth snorted as he released Bella's hand in his attempt to take some playful swings at the boy.
Not exactly sure where she stood in this new group situation, Bella quickly took to the chained green wooden plank. It brought her within the limits of the group but still kept her at a distance. Lightly using her foot to push herself back and forth on the squeaking swing, she watched the three boys playfully banter, while throwing fake punches. It made Bella's heart ache and feel at home all at the same time. They reminded her so much of her uncles' antics; this was a situation she was accustomed to, something familiar yet now painfully so.
"Soooo, you must be the elusive Bella Uley."
The smooth playful voice brought her back from her memories of days past. Lifting her head she could see three sets of eyes on her, though one set she knew all to well. The others though were new but yet in a way familiar with their brown tone.
"What gave it away?" she smirked.
"Small town plus what other girl besides his sister would hang out with this guy," the stocky one laughed as he pushed playfully at Seth's shoulder before coming to stand before her with his hand out for her to take. Taking his hand into hers she went to shake it only to have him pull it to his lips and press a small kiss to it. "Quil Ateara," his voice trying to ooze charm as a smirk played at his lips.
"Never have I heard of a name where so much thought went into it. I mean where on earth did your family ever find the inspiration for such a name?" her voice full of playful wonder as she pulled her hand back and pressed her pointer finger to her chin in an attempt to appear deep in thought as chuckles rang out around her.
"Yeah, Quil, what on earth inspired such a name?" Seth laughed as he took his place on the table.
"Hey, better then where your mom found yours in a seedy yet cheesy romance novel," Quil shot back as he flopped down on the bench.
"And how would you know it was seedy and cheesy? Raiding Mrs. Clearwater's reading selection for your next book report Quil?" the tall one burst out laughing.
"I did that once; I had no idea it was a smut book, okay? They said pick a book and the guy on the front was a pirate and the girl wasn't bad, so I thought it would have peaked my interest."
"I seem to recall the cover did-"
"Yeah after you duct taped over the pirate," Seth chuckled.
"Ha, ha! Goal achieved. Make me look like a perv in front of the new girl."
"Awe-" the other two cooed at a grumbling Quil.
Bella couldn't fight the small snickering escaping as she watched. While it hurt at how this made her think of her uncles, the pain didn't come close to the comfort it provided her wounded heart, allowing herself to become blank to her feelings without even noticing.
"Hola, chica. Mi nombre es Embry."
(Hey, Girl. My name is Embry.)
Bella's heart raced as her breath hitched at hearing the language that melted off the tall boy's tongue and responded as if it was second nature.
"Hola, Embry. Soy Bella. Cómo estás? ¿Está usted habla español?"
(Hello, Embry. I am Bella. How are you? Are you fluent in Spanish?)
A smirk slid across his lips as a twinkle entered his eyes. "Muy bien, y muy es así, chica."
(Very good, and very much so, girl.)
"Alright enough with the Spanish. It's like some freaky twin language going on between you two," Quil huffed.
"Where did you learn Spanish, Bella?"
"Amigos muy cercanos," she chuckled as she looked up at Seth's confused eyes. "Translation: very close friends."
"And you couldn't just say friends?" Quil huffed, causing everyone to break out into a laugh.
He couldn't have felt more relieved to finally be free from parental supervision. Jacob longed to be with his friends leaving the parents to do whatever they do on this last day of shopping. For the first time in his life his mother wasn't here to tend to the responsibilities and his father wasn't in any shape to get from shop to shop without assistance. While he understood the new responsibilities in his life due to the changes, those same changes were still difficult to adjust too.
Just when he thought he was going to lose himself to the unwanted memories and boredom of the local hardware store, freedom came in the form of Old Quil, which shocked him. The holiday spirit must have really been in full swing because it was no secret how much the oldest member of the elders hated his father. While it was shocking, he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Quickly darting through the streets, he found the park and his friends in their usual holiday spot, but this time it was different as there was a new addition swinging softly in the cool winter breeze. There sat the girl he couldn't get out of his mind, somehow in that one moment on the beach she managed to be some sort of magnet always drawing his thoughts. He wanted to see her for days, but Sam had her on a lock down limiting her access to himself and the Clearwater family. Intense laughing broke him from his daze to see the group making Quil the primary target of their laughter. 'What are you waiting for? Go talk to her! Or just leave her to Quil, Embry and Seth,' raced through his thoughts causing some sort of inner discomfort but enough to get his legs moving forward as his voice called out on its own accord. "HEY, GUYS." Suddenly all eyes were on him as the laughter died down making him feel a bit uncomfortable as he approached the group.
"Jake, did not think you'd be joining our noel party this year," Embry chuckled as he reached out and bumped fists with his best friend as Jake took a seat next to him and breaking some of the nervous tension he carried.
"Yeah, who sprung you?" Seth asked as he playfully shoved at Jake's back.
"Old Quil."
A snort filled the air. "Yeah, right. My gramps pulling Billy duty?"
"Yeah, your gramps is on full Billy duty."
"Well, they say the Christmas season is full of miracles and I do believe we have just witnessed one," Quil chuckled.
"You left witnesses around, didn't you? I mean it wouldn't be a shocker to see your pops rolling down the center of that street over there," Embry's voice full of a mock seriousness.
Jake chuckled knowing that Embry wasn't far off. "Of course, Sue and Harry-"
"HA! Dude, you picked horrible witnesses; hell you might have just picked accomplices. Guess gramps will have some company in the big house after all."
"My mom and dad wouldn't do anything. If you had to worry about anyone, it would be-". Seth found himself cutoff as Quil's elbow rammed straight into his ribs causing him to wince in pain and stop his sentence.
This caused Bella to look at the two boys in question and none of the boys wanted to discuss the situation that surrounded her and Billy. Embry and Quil both knew she was giving Harry, Sue and Leah hell, and they could only imagine what she would lay onto Jacob. Nobody batted an eye at Bella's non hostile nature towards Seth as he was someone you couldn't hate or dislike; it was impossible to even try. But they knew if they let him say Sam, she could ask Sam and Sam wouldn't hesitate to tell if he thought it would gain him any favor with his distant sister.
While Bella was ignorant about Jake's quick crush and Jake was in denial, they were not. They were on the receiving end of question after question about the girl while he was away and heard every grumbling complaint about Sam's house arrest.
"Soooo, Bella. You remember Jacob?" Embry asked in a desperate attempt to start a conversation again.
Jacob watched as she turned her exotic gaze onto him with a small smirk playing at her lips. "Of course I remember the resident boy scout?"
In that moment Quil burst out laughing. "Dude, how did she know? You spent a whole what hour with her and you break out the boy scout card. Lame dude, just lame."
Bella snorted, "Hardly. He didn't have to tell me as it was an easy guess," causing the group to erupt with laughter.
"It's not like I wanted to join," Jake murmured as he felt his cheeks getting hot.
"True, but your mom thought the order would keep you on the straight and narrow just in case that left on the side of the road with five bucks didn't work out."
"Shut up, Quil!"
"What dude; that was a priceless stunt."
"He's got you there."
"Thank you for the support, Embry," Jake sighed as he now did his best to avoid Bella's gaze. "So where are Sam and Leah?" It's not like he cared; he was just desperate for a change of topic.
"Christmas shopping."
Quil snorted, "More like your sister pulling Sam around from shop to shop deciding what she wants; and in the moment she does, she disappears with a sudden I have to go to the bathroom letting Sam know that's the gift I want, so get it and don't fuck up like last year."
"Seriously?" Bella chuckled. "Well now I know the perfect gift for Sam, a skirt as obviously Leah wears the pants," her comment quickly sending the four boys into a fit of laughter.
"You Bella are completely without a doubt one of us," Embry was quick to declare as the laughs died down.
Before another remark could be made the musical sound from the street had the boys going ram rod stiff. "Ice cream!" Seth shouted before launching off the bench and towards the moving target, quickly followed by Quil. Embry paused for a moment taking in the two who sat still before shrugging it off and followed the others.
Silence engrossed the two left behind, only the sound of the squeaking chain from Bella's swing filling in for the would be crickets. 'Don't just sit here, move closer. She already sees you as a goody boy scout,' he mentally snapped at himself. Taking a deep breath he stood up and moved over to the vacant red swing next to her. 'Great. I'm literally taking the hot seat,' snorted through his mind as he sat next to her and began to mimic her movements with small back and forth motions.
Jake's eyes shifted a bit watching her as she moved slowly but fluently back and forth. Her dark hair flowed down past her shoulders in waves, her tanned facial skin no longer holding the blood and grime. Her wounds, well at least the ones on her face, were gone and her shoulder was covered by a long heavy red flannel for a jacket that most likely came from Sam. As he took her in, he couldn't help but feel mesmerized at her appearance and at the fact that whether she was cleaned up or bloody she was still beautiful. 'Beautiful? When did you just upgrade pretty to beautiful?' he mentally shouted at himself.
"What is it with you people and staring?"
"Huh?" came out without thought, he could have slapped himself at how dopey it sounded.
"Next time try a picture, it lasts longer and it's less creepy and rude in the long run," she quipped as she turned and met his gaze.
"Mental note made."
"Scout's honor?"
"Am I ever going to live that down?"
"Maybe," she shrugged. "Might help to know how five bucks and a roadside got you into it."
"Well, that's pretty classified information; not sure you can handle it."
"My security clearance is pretty high."
"Yeah, heard you're a hard egg to crack," he chuckled. "So seeing as you check out I guess the information can be given out," he smiled at her causing her face to take an amused look. "Easy way to put it, my parents were split up and I was in my brat phase pitting them against each other. One night after my birthday skate at the rink, I told my mom on the way home I was going to run away. Leave it to my mom to call me on my crap. She stopped the car, got me out and left me standing with five bucks right there on the side of the road before getting back in the car."
"How did that work out for you?" she snorted.
"I think you know the answer to that."
"Yeah, I do," she smirked.
"Soooo, no ice cream?"
"Uh, No. This weather plus a cold treat isn't my idea of a good mix," Bella snorted. While it was true, Bella wouldn't admit she would take anything right now to eat cold or not as her stomach was pinching and grumbling at her. She had no money to pay for anything so that left her options down to either dumpsters or stealing. It had been a long time since she had done either for food, and while she was hungry she had at one time gone days without food, so waiting a few hours was doable.
"Oh, yeah. You're still in the adjustment period. Don't worry it won't be long until you're numb to the cold like the rest of us and downing frozen treats."
"I think I'm a bit to addicted to the sun to adjust fully."
"Hey, we have our sunny days too."
"I'll believe it when I see it."
"And you will. The next sunny day I'm taking you to the highest peak closest to the sun and let you soak up those rays."
Bella glanced out of the right side of her eye taking in his bright smile and his offer. Biting her lip she pushed off the ground sending her swing sideways and into his swing bumping him. "Mmmm," softly hummed from her half clamped shut mouth. Instantly regretting her choice of word or lack of that came out. This was a dangerous territory she was entering. The plan was to stay away from him, not to let him to close and while she didn't say yes, she didn't just squash it then and there either.
'Sneaky old man,' muttered through her thoughts. In the time she had spent with these boys she had come to let herself not feel; she just allowed herself to be; proving him right because for the first time in a while she felt she was living, trying and it scared her. Yet at the same time it felt like a much needed rush.
"Bella!" echoed through the park causing her and Jacob to look up to see Seth standing by the sidewalk motioning for her to come.
"Guess Sam made his Christmas choice."
"Don't you mean, Leah?" Bella chuckled as she hopped off the swing.
"Ha, yeah."
Her brow furrowed; she couldn't understand how one moment he was sunny and happy to the next moment looking like someone kicked his puppy. "Problem, boy scout?"
"What? No! Um, just sucks you have to go. Guys are getting back; could've had some fun seeing what Quil would be willing to do for a dollar."
"While I haven't spent much time with Quil, I doubt a dollar is needed to get him to do anything," she chuckled.
"You know me to well, Bella."
"And it only took me about an hour of knowing you to figure it out. Says a whole lot," she winked at an approaching Quil.
"That it does. I'm the person you call for a good time."
"Or the person who never learns and ends up in their nut huggers taped to the porch," Embry chuckled as he took a bite of his cone.
"That was unforeseen, but hey I made an impression."
"Yes, one of those things you can't unsee," Jake chuckled causing Bella to crinkle her brow in question. "Ask Sam all about it."
'Samuel, Quil, underwear and a porch?' the combination sounded so odd and the thought of Samuel and fun was an unusual concept, 'but one I might have to ask about.'
"BELLA!"
"SETH," she yelled back. "Better go as Seth would only up the level of panic if Samuel was on his case," she huffed as she turned back to the three boys. They all looked a bit bummed but Jake looked worse. "See you guys soon?"
"Like Sam will let that happen," Jacob snorted.
"Samuel doesn't own me. Stop by tomorrow for the Christmas party as Sue always makes to much crap. Besides Samuel keeps saying it's my home too so I'm inviting my own guests."
"We're in," Embry motioned between him and Quil.
"Bella, I can't leave my Dad alone on Christmas, and-"
"So bring him. Like I said, my guests. Samuel will have to cope." All three boys looked at each other for a moment knowing that Billy being there would set Sam off big time.
"Bella-"
"Nope, no backing out. Tomorrow at noon, okay?"
Jacob couldn't find it in him to say no at the possibility of spending more time with her. "Sure, sure," he smiled back.
"Good," she huffed as she flicked his ponytail off his shoulder before turning around and darting towards Seth. Jacob's eyes following her the whole way.
"WHAT THE HELL!" a hard punch to his arm had him finally break his gaze of the long gone Bella.
"I do believe we can now officially say Jakey has a crush," Embry laughed.
"Crush? Dude that's not a crush. Longing gaze, kicked my puppy look when she had to go, missed out on ice cream, and smiling like a loon. No, Embry, our dear friend here has it bad for the mysterious beauty known as Bella Uley."
"You guys are crazy; she is just a friend like Leah."
"HA! You never looked at Leah like that. And she is only a friend like Leah because one it's to new and she has you friend - zoned you," Quil smirked.
"And by that look you want to break that friend zone as soon as possible, which you'd be wise to do. Because as soon as we go back to school now that girls have been deemed cootie free for the past two years, guys are going to be asking her out all the time - especially to the spring dance."
"And adding to Embry's wisdom, just a word to the wise, be careful of Sam's revenge. He really knows how to string you up for the world to see. And I should know," Quil laughed with a slap to Jacob's back as he turned with Embry to make the trek back to the cars and meet up with their parents.
Jacob darted up from the swing to catch his friends. "Friends, that is all this is ."
"Sure, sure," both echoed in mockery.
Bella didn't waste any time once the car stopped in front of their home as the drive was to much and she needed the space. Giving Seth a heartfelt goodbye, before murmuring one to the rest of the Clearwater clan she jumped out of the car, up the wooden porch and darted through the front door. It still was a new concept to her that people didn't lock their doors. Manny always triple locked everything. 'Then again it wasn't the best part of LA,' echoed through her thoughts as she flicked on the lights. Suddenly being blinded by all the Christmas cheer was the last thing she expected even though she knew it was there; she had for the past few hours managed to put it out of sight out of mind.
Tracing her hand along some of the lighted garland she couldn't fight her thoughts. Manny and her uncles never went out like this, they never even got a tree. It was always pizza and gifts exchanged with whoever was there, which usually meant Cruz and Jay as the rest would always be on a run. Something now she was sure that was the leading cause of their deaths. She did remember Sam always trying at Christmas. She was never sure how he pulled what he did off, but looking back he always seemed to pull something out of nothing.
Coming up to the red box that Sam had showed her earlier (full of more decorations) she paused as she took a blue globe into her hands. Old Quil's words rang through her head. 'Look and listen to that around you in that gray area where it isn't just right and wrong.'
Had she just entered that gray area? Was she damning the few good parts of her past because it was tied to Samuel in any matter? 'I never decorated a tree,' coursed through Bella's thoughts as she held the globe up high watching the glitter sparkle.
"That's one of my favorites."
She didn't turn to acknowledge Samuel, just continued to stare at the globe. She had let herself go blank, numb if you will, earlier with the boys and she felt like she was again living. Could she really allow herself to do that with Samuel? Allow herself to go numb and really try and not just exist? Was she ready to bare her soul? Was she ready for him to be Sam or Sammy? That was simple. NO. But did she want to live or build, did she want to try or exist? With determination set, Bella turned to the tree, placing the hook around the fresh pine branch before stepping back and taking it in as it sparkled on the tree with its twinkling lights. "I think it's one of mine too," she whispered as she turned to face Samuel with something that almost sent him to his knees - a smile. The first one he had seen in over four years. Bella didn't linger long before returning to the box and retrieving more ornaments.
Holding back his emotion, he didn't push it. Sam flicked the switch to the old radio allowing I'll Be Home for Christmas to flow through the speakers, causing Sam to pause as his heart pounded and for his eyes to tear because she was exactly that, home for Christmas. Taking a step forward he reached into the box and he couldn't believe what ornament he pulled out - a pair of doves. 'Another sign of sibling peace?' coursed through his thoughts. Stepping up to the tree and next to Bella, he hung his decoration next to hers.
"Merry Christmas, Bella."
"Merry Christmas, Samuel."
There we have it, hope you all enjoyed the baby steps Bella made in deciding to try most of all with Sam.
Also hope you enjoyed the tween banter and bonding, and Jacob and Bella's small steps forward in their bonding process.
Next Chapter- We will take on that Christmas party :)
For all the Paul lovers he is lurking close by, and will make a cameo soon ;)
please, take a moment and review as they are very much appreciated; however, as always, flames are not.