Chapter 5. And we finally get a bit more of Carl in this scene… *smirk*

-5-

I lay on the pew pretending to sleep, and though my body was begging me to give in to it, I kept on telling myself that I couldn't. It was only several hours after the massacre of the cannibals and after the group had dragged the bodies outside, everyone decided it was probably best to get some shuteye before the morning. So now I was lying on this super-uncomfortable wooden bench hoping I wouldn't just fall asleep waiting for the others to drop off enough. I knew that some were still awake and caring for Bob in the back room, but most were asleep on the other pews, and the woman who had my gun, Tara, was sleeping a few over from me.

When things stilled a little more, I blearily opened my eyes and craned my neck to see if anyone was still awake. Not seeing anything suspicious, I slowly sat up and swung my legs off the bench, an action that caused Liesel, who had been sleeping at the other end of pew, to blink and sit up. The sound of her claws lightly tapping on the wood made me cringe and motion with my hand to stay. As I stood and tried to lessen the sound of the pew squeaking, I gathered her in my arms and lowered her onto the ground as opposed to her just jumping off which would probably wake the whole church. I moved on my tiptoes, afraid of the clicking if I put my heels down.

I had to do this tonight. After all, there was no time like the present and it could be tomorrow when they turn that absolute viciousness on me. And I didn't want to end up a bloody husk from Rick's machete. It wasn't like they would miss me either: I was just a spy, or scout, that had been watching them and working for the cannibals and now that I had no one to report to I was expendable, just dead weight. I looked at the church doors as I crept out into the aisle. Time for me to go.

Liesel followed behind me, ever the faithful companion, and I turned and knelt in front of her, running my fingers through the fur of her ears in that way she liked.

'Liesel, fetch my knife. Go on. Go on lass!'

Her beautiful brown eyes glowed at me as I whispered to her before she obediently trotted off to where the kid was staying. I allowed myself to smile as I snuck towards the altar where my katana and pack were still lying. Liesel was always very smart, so I had no doubt she would get what I wanted. I had trained her to fetch my knife and my gun at times. The katana was a little too big for her and the pack could explode while she carried it so I was never too eager to try that one.

I anxiously scanned the room as I slipped the katana around my shoulders and gently, but quickly, put the bombs and mines back in the red pack. No one had stirred, and I really wanted to keep it that way. Then my eyes zeroed in on Tara and I narrowed my eyes in determination. Time to get my gun back.

I slinked towards her and as I squinted through the darkness at her sleeping form, I could just make out the butt of a handgun tucked into her waistband, though I couldn't tell in this poor light if it was the Tactical or a different gun. Nevertheless, that would be the one to take. I grabbed onto it and tried to quiet my breathing despite the harsh beating of my heart, and inched it out while praying she wouldn't wake up. Thankfully luck was on my side, and I pulled it off without any mishap. Backing away into the aisle again I turned to gun over in my hands, feeling the red dot sight on the top. Yes, it was my gun, the Tactical.

I stuck the gun into my waistband and covered it with my army jacket when I heard the tell-tale sound of soft clicking on the floor. I turned with a hopeful expression to see the rippling shades of black and white coming out of the back room. Liesel had returned, and a slight silver flash in her mouth told me that she had fetched my knife like I told her to. Pride swelled in me as I knelt down again, taking the knife from her and giving her a good scratch under her collar as a reward. Liesel appreciated it very much, leaning into my touch and starting to purr under her breath. I quickly stopped in case it woke the group, still sleeping soundly through the whole thing. I silently patted my thigh as I turned and we stole towards the church doors. I didn't even glance back as I cracked a door open, stopping when it started to creak like I knew it would. Eventually I got to the point that I knew it would go no further without waking everyone up from the noise, and the gap was just big enough for Liesel and I to slip through if we were careful. The Collie went first, and after removing my pack I managed to squeeze through, shutting the door again before scurrying off into the night.

After being penned in a hostile church for hours, the Georgia night air in the woods had never tasted sweeter to me. The trees were still and the land was silent but I didn't want to draw any unnoticed attention to me, just in case. Liesel and I moved through the trees at a steady pace, my straining eyes flicking from the ground where they searched for any invisible twigs that might snap and give me away, to the woods around me where they watched for any movement that would suggest that I wasn't alone out here. I had just left the graveyard of the church behind and was about to make my way deeper into the woods when Liesel, who was a little ahead of me, stopped dead, perked her ears and turned back in the direction I had just come from. I glanced at her a moment, her behaviour confusing me just as I heard a twig snapping directly behind me. My brain shut down and relied on reflex alone as I whipped around, my unruly hair flying from one shoulder to the other as I grabbed my Tactical and aimed it…

…straight at the boy from the church, his gun pointed at me in turn and his hat casting even more shadow onto his face. I felt both relieved and irritated. I was thankful it wasn't a roamer since it would suggest that the woods were infested and there was a more likely chance that a herd was passing through further on, but I didn't want this kid following me. The plan had been to slip away before they could decide what to do with me, whether they would let me go as Rick had said he would or find some excuse to keep me longer. And I wasn't in the mood for questions at this ungodly hour of the night when I was running on little to no sleep. I didn't lower my gun as I haughtily spoke.

'Why are you following me?'

'To see why you're taking off in the middle of the night.'

He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I lowered the gun slowly, not even daring to blink as it was dark enough that should I lose focus on him, it could take me a while to find his silhouette again. The only reason I could half-see Liesel was because of her Collie white patches. The kid lowered his gun as I did and we holstered them before he sighed.

'It's not safe out here.'

My shoulders shifted and I gave him a look he probably couldn't see. I settled for a snappy retort that was laced with a little less sarcasm than I had aimed at his dad.

'Wow, I had no idea.'

I heard a miniscule sigh escape his lips as I moved closer so I didn't have to be so loud and risk attracting roamers if there were any.

'How did you know I was leaving?'

His voice came out of the darkness.

'I woke up when I felt your dog take your knife off me.'

I glanced down at the shape and white fur of Liesel, still loyally at her mistress's side, and it was my turn to sigh. So my plan had been busted before I had even left the church. It wasn't Liesel's fault though. I couldn't find it in my heart to blame her.

'I saw you leaving with your stuff. Figured you weren't planning on coming back.'

'And yet you followed me. Why?'

I heard a slight crinkle in the leaves where he stood, and I knew he had shifted slightly. He paused before he answered, thinking through what he was going to say.

'My dad would've kept his word. He would've let you go at daylight if you wanted to leave. But you decided to leave in the dead of night.'

'I wasn't going to take the risk of being held there any longer than necessary. The danger's over.'

I bit back the next bit of that sentence about who was the most dangerous out of the lot was still debatable. Probably wouldn't do to spill that out to the boy about his group, and it stopped him from putting a gun to my head again. It was his turn to speak.

'You don't trust him.'

He didn't put it as a question.

'Would you? Just met the guy, all of this shit goes down the first night, some might think that it would be unlucky to stay.'

He was the one who stepped closer this time and now I was able to see his eyes under the brim of his hat, the darkness turning them midnight blue.

'And what do you think?'

I bit my lip, something of a habit when I thought now, and briefly looked at the invisible ground before answering.

'I don't know what to think.'

He didn't speak, waiting for me to continue and I crossed my arms over my stomach before speaking again, a little nervous for some inexplicable reason.

'Look, I've met a LOT of bad people in my time here. I've met thieves. I've met slavers. I've met rapists and cannibals and just plain pure psychos but never, in my entire life, have I EVER seen someone do something like that.'

I gestured with my head back in the direction of the church, though I didn't entirely need to. It was pretty clear what I was talking about.

'They would've killed us. We had to kill them.'

'I never said that.'

I ran a hand through my greasy mane of hair and put the other hand on my hip. He remained unmoving.

'I get why your group killed them. Sometimes you have to do bad things to carry on surviving. But to hack them up, slaughter them like that… I don't see how you can say you were doing the right thing when you kill someone in such a brutal way. Even the other people in your group were shocked by it. And if people in the group were stunned, how do you think it looked an outsider? To me? To Gabriel?'

He considered me for a moment and silence curled its way into the space between us. The words hung heavy in the night air and settled like a musty smell. I almost choked on nothing as my brain started. Why was I confiding in this boy-stranger again? He was slowing down my leaving and if we stayed out here long enough, people would come looking for him and find me in the process. No chance.

I turned to go again, patting my thigh to make sure that Liesel was following when he spoke again.

'Where will you go?'

I paused. Shit. Hadn't thought about that one. I didn't particularly want to tell him that I had nowhere TO go since he would question my decision to leave – more than he already was – and might persuade me to go back with him. Nope. I wouldn't be safe around those people. If even one of them caught sight of my bite and ran off to tell everyone, what was to stop them from turning me into mincemeat too?

He noticed my hesitation as he stepped forwards but before he could speak again I cut him off.

'I'm not going back there.'

If I had bothered to turn, I might've seen him cock his head to the side.

'Why?'

I pressed my lips together in a thin line as I again noted how much time I was wasting by just standing here talking to him. I spat out my inner turmoil.

'Because they don't know what to do with me. I get the feeling they haven't decided yet. The way I see it, I have two options with these people: either be released so I can go, kinda like I would be doing now…'

I gave him a pointed look that I had no idea whether he saw or not.

'…or I could end up like those other people.'

I gestured to the church again, the small specks of the windows illuminated with candlelight just barely penetrating the darkness.

'Honestly, I don't want to wait around to see which one they go with.'

I started to leave AGAIN when the boy stopped me. Eesh, the way this was going, come sunrise we would probably still be here. His voice held some hint of realisation as he spoke.

'You're afraid that they'll hurt you.'

Finally he had figured it out. Though why I had this fear I wasn't going to tell him EVER.

'Wouldn't you be?'

I turned to face him and saw that he was a lot closer to me than I had previously realised. There was barely a foot of space between us and since his arms were crossed like mine we were almost brushing. I was a little surprised that I hadn't noticed until now but I was careful to school my features to avoid giving it away. Those eyes bored into mine a little uncomfortably before his voice slid across the night air.

'They won't do that.'

'You can't promise that though.'

He continued staring at me intently. I was starting to get a little unnerved by it, to tell the truth.

'I promise that they won't hurt you. And if they do, well…I'll stop them.'

I looked at him incredulously at that. No one had been that willing to put themselves on the line for me like this boy, this total stranger, had just offered to do.

'You would put yourself in harm's way for a stranger you met a few hours ago? A girl you don't even know the name of?'

There was a pause between us which shifted between my surprise and his sincerity. Suddenly my eyes narrowed and my voice dropped, low and guarded. Just what was this guy's game? The question came almost as a hiss.

'Why?'

He looked down for a moment, considering this as I stared at him for any sign that he was playing me. If he was…well, he better run for the hills.

He looked back up at me and spoke with incredible clarity.

'Because not everyone can be bad. And I know I only met you a few hours ago, but…I don't think you're a bad person. If you were, you probably would've tried to kill me by now.'

'Trusting strangers is a risky business in this world.'

He motioned with his head the direction of the church.

'We were all strangers once you know. Now we're more like family.'

Our gazes locked and for some reason time seemed to slow before he spoke.

'Maybe you can become family too. You just need to give it a chance.'

His dark eyes pierced into mine.

'You need to give us a chance.'

Man, I thought I was iron-willed but this guy was starting carve away the resolve I had when I stepped outside. I didn't want to give in: being stubborn is usually a good trait in this world. But I was starting to fall into the trap that was those shining blue eyes that were staring at me unwaveringly. I bit my lip again, weighing my choices. I could go. I could go and never come back and continue surviving like I had done since this hell storm went down. Just me and Liesel. Like nothing had ever happened and I hadn't run across the church. But on the other hand…

Did I really want to pass up this opportunity? The opportunity for ACTUAL human contact with people who DIDN'T want to rape me or kill me or make me a slave?

I already knew the answer. I knew what I wanted to do. Well, more like needed to do. If only to try out the strength-in-numbers theory and keep myself sane from my own loneliness, I would stay. But that didn't mean I was going to be dropping my guard anytime soon.

I inhaled deeply as I stood a little straighter and matched his gaze, offering out a hand. He caught the motion and his eyes flickered downwards before he grasped my hand.

'Katrina McCailin.'

His palm was rough and warm as we shook hands slightly.

'Carl Grimes.'

We released hands and I didn't even notice how our fingers trailed over the others lightly before we dropped our arms back to our sides. I broke his gaze to check where Liesel was, to find that she was stood about a foot away from us and looking out into the black woods. We started to make the walk back to the church in silence until I spoke.

'Hey, sorry about frisking you earlier.'

He turned to look at me though I kept a wary eye out for roamers in the trees.

'I just wasn't in the mood to face down cannibals with my bare hands.'

'Don't worry about it.'

We traipsed up the steps to the wooden doors, and just before Carl opened the doors I hastily made sure the Tactical and butterfly knife were hidden under my army jacket. I was NOT having these taken off me again. However, when we reached the church just as the pale blue of dawn started to creep into the windows, I saw most people still asleep on the pews though a few were starting to stir and I mentally gave an irritated huff. Great, I was super tired and feeling drained and I had missed out on an opportunity to sleep. Oh well, it couldn't be helped.

I sat back on the pew that I had been pretending to sleep on as Carl went back into the back room where the baby was, almost like our whole exchange had never happened. Liesel hopped up beside me and I petted her absentmindedly. Already I was starting to question my decision to come back. Damn it, what was I thinking?! Were the risks of my bite and the psychopathy of Rick meaningless now?! I couldn't believe I'd let some stupid kid talk me into staying. Eesh, I was goddamn weak-willed.

I was broken out of my mental scolding as movement around me increased, and I saw nearly everyone was up and all heading into the back room where Bob was, dying from his bite while I was sat here, absolutely fine if not a little tired. They had obviously gone in there to say their goodbyes, but I remained seated on the pew. I had only met Bob a few hours ago, and I didn't want to intrude. But inside, I wished that I could talk to Bob, to tell him about my bite and explain and apologise. And to be honest, I really needed to know if I would be okay with these people, and since Bob was the only one who had been halfway-nice to me from the moment he met me, I trusted him more than anyone else in this group, though even that trust was minimal.

After a while people started to file out of the back room, though I noticed that Rick and the baby stayed with Bob. My bite started to get on my nerves as twinges of painful itchiness came and went and I flinched each time it appeared. Thankfully no one was paying me any mind – like usual – so I figured that maybe I should use this time to take a power nap. After all, I hadn't slept all night. Just as I was about to slide down and close my eyes Rick came out of the back room, coming up to me with a simultaneously sad and closed off gaze.

'He wants to talk to you.'

Bob wanted to talk to me? Why? I didn't voice my thoughts though. Instead I nodded, and slid off the pew to head into the back room. Upon seeing Bob lying on the couch in a sickly stupor I stopped while my insides twisted in grief and guilt. Why me? Why was I the one who hadn't turned?

'Hey.'

He looked over at me and gave me that cheeky smirk he flashed at me before.

'Hey there pretty nobody.'

I felt a little heat crawl up my neck onto my cheeks as I sat by his side, Liesel sitting next to me and nudging her nose into his arm.

'You said you wanted to talk to me?'

Bob frowned a moment before nodding, like he was remembering his request.

'I wanted to see how you were.'

I stared at him in a bit of shock. Here he was, lying on a couch with a roamer bite on his neck and a missing leg, an inch from death, and he wanted to know how I was?

'Me? I-I'm fine.'

He raised his eyebrows at me. Clearly he wasn't buying it.

'Okay, I'm scared and confused and isolated. I don't know whether to stay or to go and I don't know what this group thinks of me. And…'

I took a deep breath. If I could confide in anyone, it would be Bob.

'…And I have something I need to tell you, because I don't know who else to tell.'

The guilt clawed at me again. I was spilling my guts to a man who was dying. He didn't need my problems sorted, he needed rest. I was about to apologize when he spoke.

'I understand.'

A little childish hope rose within me that he was telling the truth.

'You do?'

'Yeah. I came into this group long after Rick and the others. I wasn't sure what they made of me either. But eventually I grew closer to them and became one of them. I'm sure you will too.'

I swallowed uneasily. It was time.

'But I'll always be different though. You see…'

Bob was looking at me intently. I think he could see on my face how serious this was.

'There is something I've got to tell you, and after seeing what Rick and the others did last night I can't tell them. I can't risk it…'

'What is it?'

I slowly stood and lifted my shirt, allowing him to see the roamer bite in my back. I heard him give a sigh of horror and I lowered it again, turning back to him to explain.

'I was bitten 11 days ago. I know because I've counted.'

I sat back down next to him, seeing I had his full attention.

'I haven't run a fever, or gotten sick. Apart from it being painfully itchy, it feels like I almost wasn't bitten at all. Now I don't know means, or why I haven't turned, but it might mean that I have just a delayed reaction time, and I can't tell Rick in case he…'

Bob laid a hand on my arm, stopping me mid-sentence.

'You've got to tell them about your bite.'

'No!'

It came out harsher then I intended and I closed my eyes a moment before continuing in a softer tone.

'No. I can't. I don't know what Rick and the others will do, and after seeing what they did last night…I'm not sure I want to find out.'

Bob looked at the ceiling with unusually sharp eyes, even as his skin was a sickly colour and sweat dripped down his face. We both sat in silence for a moment longer, me in apprehension and him in thoughtfulness.

'You're scared of them. I get that. After all, you found us when we were at war. But you have to tell them. If you are right and it's just delayed, you could turn when you're near baby Judith. You could turn next to anyone. So if you don't tell everyone, just tell someone. And if you don't turn…'

He trailed off and I looked at him with wide eyes. He turned back to me with an authority in his voice.

'You have to stay with this group. If you're immune there may be a cure inside you and after everything Rick and the others have been through…they're gonna need that hope. Even if you don't tell them yet, you need to stay close to them and try and watch out for them. Promise me. Promise me you'll stay and watch their backs.'

I was nervous, but I swallowed and nodded. It was a man's dying wish: I couldn't just refuse it. Bob must have seen the uneasiness in my face as he gave me a comforting smile and squeezed my hand.

'Hey, it'll be okay. You'll fit in and have a place with them before you know it. After all, if you've survived this long by yourself and only just been bitten you must be strong and smart. Don't worry about the future, and take it as it comes.'

I started to feel the heat behind my eyes and my vision started to become blurry. Bob didn't deserve to die. If I could swap places with him, with him being alright and me dying, right now I would. He began to drop off to sleep and I started to get up to leave him to rest, but his eyes suddenly became sharp again and he focused on me.

'So what is your name, nobody?'

I gave a sad little smile at that. He didn't have long, yet was still kind and giving comfort to scared little girls who didn't know what to do. I hoped that I could be half as brave as him someday.

'Katrina. My name is Katrina.'

Bob's eyes started to become glazed again, and as he fell asleep he muttered to himself.

'Katrina the Cure. Katrina the Cure…'

So, what do you think? Carl and Katrina finally get their first real interaction and Katrina gets some much-needed advice. And poor Bob . It was quite difficult writing this one but I hope it was okay…Next chapter up soon.