Chapter 15

Harvey awoke at the sound of the baby crying. He turned over to the other side of the bed and noticed that Donna was not beside him. When he came home from the strip joint with his brother and Mike last night, Donna had already been asleep.

What the hell did I do last night? My head is throbbing. Harvey could feel his pulse on either side of his head and the sound of Gordon's cries did not help much to not exacerbate the pain. He rose and felt his stomach hit his feet and then come back up again. He ran into the bathroom and retched. How much did I drink last night?

He heard Donna run behind him as he still stood hung over the toilet.

"How much did you drink last night, Harvey?" Donna asked while she held a now quiet Gordon in her arms. "Are you ok? There's only been a couple of times I can remember you hung over, so you must have had a wild night."

Harvey was not in a good mood. Not only did he have a throbbing headache but he still had not had that talk he promised with Donna. He knew he should they should never spent this many days without speaking, but there had been no time. Harvey passed Donna and kissed his son on the way to the bedroom.

"Holy shit!" Harvey said as he looked at the clock on the bedside table. "Is Marcus, Kate, and the kids up?"

"Harvey, it's 11:00 am on a Sunday morning, what do you think?"

"You know...ugh..." Harvey started and then ran into the bathroom again and this time did a little more than dry heave.

"Yes, I know. You and Marcus were going to see your mother before the other half of the Specter family leaves tonight."

"Is Marcus in a bad a shape as I am?" Harvey wondered. He had no recollection of what had happened the previous evening.

"No, not at all. You don't remember anything about yesterday, do you?" Donna said to Harvey and then to the baby. "Daddy doesn't remember a thing, does he little guy?" Donna kissed the baby and Gordon started to smile. Donna then left Harvey alone in the bedroom while she carried Gordon into the nursery to dress him for the day.

Harvey moved from the toilet to the sink, splashed some cold water on his face, and then brushed his teeth. He decided he couldn't face the rest of the family right now, so he stripped and went into the shower.

When he emerged fifteen minutes later, Donna had laid out some comfortable clothes for him to wear. Her thoughtfulness of her to do this for him knowing he could barely raise his head was indicative of how she had always cared for him. Harvey had begun to feel bad about his feelings toward his wife. She was willing to talk to him about it, but the old Harvey-the Harvey that felt betrayed and felt he was better off alone-rose in him like the bile he had vomited earlier. Harvey knew he should do the adult thing and hear her out. Not only was it good for Harvey to understand Donna's side of things but it was imperative for the existence of their marriage. He was still in love with Donna and that's why those silly thoughts of her having an affair hurt so much. He never wanted to think of a life without her. Now that they had Amanda and Gordon, Harvey had an even harder time thinking how he could live without her love and loving care and support.

Harvey decided to dress and then have it out with his wife.

Marcus and Kate were in the guest bedroom alone for a few precious moments.

Kate's face looked concerned. Marcus took her in his arms and tried to comfort her as he told her of the night they had trying to keep Harvey on a leash.

"He almost went into the backroom with one of the hookers! I have never seen him react like that. He had better taste when he slept with every woman he met," despaired Marcus as he held Kate close.

"Where the heck did you guys go? To the "Dregs of Humanity Bar?" Kate asked sarcastically. She trusted her husband even when he would venture into one of those places . Kate was a strong woman and did not put up with bullshit. Marcus knew that if he had come into the house in half a bad a shape as Harvey, Kate would be on her way to Pearson Specter Litt to find a divorce lawyer which was funny because they were corporate lawyers.

"Not really. We were trying to take Mike on a bachelor outing before he gets hitched in a couple of weeks. Even he was in better shape than Harvey and Harvey has been around!"

"Sounds like he was feeling sorry for himself which is stupid," Kate said as she looked up at her tall blonde husband. "Do you think he's going to tell Donna what transpired last night?"

"Oh, she probably can figure it out. You know she has a "Harvey radar" and knows when he's been bad and good."

"Just like Santa Claus," Kate laughed. "Seasonal now, isn't she?"

"Very funny, my love," Marcus said and kissed her. "Well, I have to get Harvey ready to see mom then when we get back we'll start back for Boston."

"Say 'hi" to Lillian for me and for the kids. Give her these, too, ok?" Kate handed him three pairs of slipper socks. All three pairs had Christmas themes stitched into them.

"I'm sure she will love these. I love you," Marcus said as he kissed his wife.

"Ewwww!" exclaimed their three children as they had escaped Aunt Donna and found their parents in the guest bedroom.

Marcus and Kate just smiled.

Unfortunately, life for the other half of the Specter family was not quite as convivial. Harvey had all the intentions of talking to Donna about not only his faux pas but hers as well. However, Marcus said they should have a heart-to-heart when he and his family are on their way back to Boston. That way there would be no interruptions except from their own children.

As Harvey drove to the hospice to see their mother, he squinted at the bland sunlight coming through the windshield. He had donned his sunglasses and then Marcus spotted something on Harvey's neck.

"Dude! Did that hooker leave a hickey on you?" Marcus cried as he had glanced at Harvey's neck.

Harvey quick looked in the rearview mirror.

"What the hell...damn Donna!"

"Damn Donna? I don't think you have a leg to stand on after last night."

"Damn Donna. She didn't say a damn word, but I know she saw this and knew that I was hung over. She laid these clothes out on the bed for me to wear on purpose. Just to humiliate me," Harvey said as he turned the steering wheel of his Audi just a little sharply.

"Watch it, Harve. I liked to see Christmas if you don't mind. Do you want me to drive?"

"No, I'm fine!"

"No, you are not. Pull over."

Harvey thinking that Marcus was right pulled over on the side of the road and traded seats with his brother.

The rest of the trip was silent. Harvey had actually dozed off having momentary horrible dreams of his wife laughing at him and she taking his children away from him so far away that they would come to believe horrible stories of their father-just like the horrible truth of he and Marcus' mother and her constant infidelities until finally leaving after many, many years.

"Harvey, we're here." Marcus put the car in "Park" and turned off the engine. "You, ok?"

"Not really. Hey, Marcus, don't say anything about last night or anything about me and Donna, ok?"

"Sure. I got your back," Marcus said giving his brother a faux punch.

The Specter brothers entered the facility. They both signed the visitor's log. Harvey's curiosity about Donna's escapade on Black Friday reared its ugly head. He surreptitiously paged through the log looking for the visitors on November 26, Black Friday.

Before Marcus had called Harvey to get down the corridor to Lillian's room, Harvey had all the information he needed.

With all the occurrences happening between he and his wife and how badly Harvey was feeling physically, his thoughts turned to his mom and her unfaithfulness to their father. He became a little more reserved and quiet and staunch. Shades of old "you betrayed dad" Harvey surfaced in his demeanor. Marcus knew why but he did not want any of the more recent events ruin the progress he and his mother had made in healing their relationship.

"Hi Harvey! I'm so glad to see you, too," Lillian had said as he bent down for a perfunctory kiss.

"Oh, Donna and me wanted to give you this from us and the kids," Harvey said quietly as he handed his mother a flat wrapped package.

Lillian smiled. "Do I have to wait until Christmas or can I open it now?"

"Do whatever you wish, mom. It's up to you," Harvey said and then turned away to face out the window of the small room.

Marcus and Lillian shared pleasantries and said their goodbyes. He heard his mother's delight in seeing the slippers that Marcus and his family had given to her. Then he heard crackling of the wrapping paper that had encased his mother's present.

"Oh Harvey it's beautiful!" Lillian said. She smiled wide and then looked up at her elder son as he had not turned from the window.

"I will keep this next to the portrait of Marcus and his family. When did you have this done?" Lillian had asked.

Harvey then sniffed and turned around.

"We had it made about a month ago. We took pictures mainly for Christmas cards, but Donna wanted a special one for you," Harvey said. "Excuse me."

"What's wrong with Harvey?" Lillian wanted to know.

"You don't need to know, mom. It's between him and Donna," Marcus said smiling lopsidedly. He rubbed his mom's shoulders in comfort.

"How are you fairing? Any bad reactions to the medication or any good reactions?" Marcus asked hoping that Harvey would return.

"Well, you know, Marcus, I'm terminal, so whatever they are doing they are trying to keep me comfortable. They don't really expect a cure at this point," Lillian said placing her hand over Marcus' as it continued to rub her shoulder.

Lillian knew of Harvey's struggles with trust which he fully admitted to in one of his first visits. He blamed her. Well, in thinking back, she really couldn't blame him for thinking that. However, in the end, one had to live with the decisions one made and the consequences from that. She knew that he and Donna had not talked about Donna's problem with that caterer guy because once he listened to her his love for her should and probably would surmount the obstacle.

What happened really? Lillian had no cause not to believe Donna. Donna had been very shaken when she came to see her the other day so unexpectedly. Lillian did not doubt Donna's love for her son. Her eyes lit up when she talked about him. She was proud of the man he had become. Harvey's eyes and demeanor were completely different when he talked about Donna. His face lit up like a Christmas tree when he spoke about his children.

Before Lillian died, she wanted to make sure that all was well not only between her and Harvey but between his wife and Harvey. Lillian Specter regretted what she had done but took her own advice and lived with the decisions she had made. No matter the consequences.

Lillian took a stroll around the center with Marcus and they settled in the central living area where there were plush chairs and a television and a quiet corner for card games or light refreshment. This was where they found Harvey. He had escaped apparently to think his own thoughts. Lillian knew he was reliving those moments when he had accidentally caught his mom in her affairs.

"So this where you ran off, dickhead," Marcus said quietly to Harvey as Harvey stood in front of the large bay window staring out at the cloudy sky.

"Is mom here?" Harvey asked not looking behind him.

"Yes, she wants to talk to you."

"I should not have come, Marcus. I'm not up to this right now," Harvey said.

"Just try. Mom really needs to talk with you," Marcus pleaded.

Harvey turned around silently and faced his mother who sat behind him on the end of the couch which stood in the corner of the room. It afforded a small bit of privacy of which Harvey was glad because he really did not want to have the entire hospice hear his private issues.

Lillian said, "Harvey come over here. I think I know what's bothering you."

"No you don't. Look, mom, I'm sorry. I am just not in the mood for visiting today," Harvey said and smiled. He took a good look at his mother. It was the first time he actually saw his mother since he had arrived. Harvey smiled regretfully and kissed his mom on the cheek as he sat down. Her hair which was once a vibrant dirty blonde was thinning and her deep dark eyes loomed large and sunken into her face. Her arms and body were thinning. She looked very frail and not the woman he had confronted only a month ago standing inside the lobby of the firm's building. Harvey felt ashamed of his feelings now.

"Look, Harvey, you are a big boy. However, I want you to do something for me."

"What, mom? Do you want a bigger Christmas present?" Harvey asked out of the side of his mouth.

"No. I want you to go home and talk with your wife. You know she came here the other day, right?"

"Donna said she had come here," Harvey admitted even as he held the incriminating visitor's log signed with her name on it. No one could forge her signature. He ought to know. He tried a couple of times just for practice. He would get as far as the "Donna" but her "Specter" left a lot to be desired.

Harvey did have a question, though, why would Donna come to see his mother? Donna had said to see how she was doing since the day before had been quite an excursion for an older sickly woman. Maybe it wasn't, though? Maybe Donna was trying to find more subtle ways to hide infidelities? Who better to turn for secret affair advice then the queen herself?

Harvey kissed his mom on the cheek and wished her a Merry Christmas. He had said he was not sure when he would be back but that he would wait until Marcus was finished with his visit. Harvey pled that he had to find someone about the bill. That was an excuse and they both knew it but felt they could not keep Harvey from leaving.

Harvey went to the car and decided he would wait for Marcus there.

While Harvey and Marcus were at the hospice, Donna did laundry and helped Kate pack for their trip back to Boston. It was early afternoon and she had just finished feeding Gordon who had fallen asleep with a full tummy. Donna this time had stopped breast feeding and was uncomfortable in a tight bra trying to stop her milk flow. She noticed as she looked down at herself that her Dona Karan sweater had two milk stains where she had leaked. Donna slammed the dryer door shut with a bang and then noticed her sister-in-law standing at the bottom of the stairway into the basement.

"I think it will come out. I can't tell you how many pieces of clothing and bras I ruined trying to wean my three each time," Kate said as she came closer and patted Donna's arm comfortingly.

"It's not that that I'm pissed. Did you see the hickey or mark on Harvey's neck?" Donna asked Kate.

"No, but then I don't get that close to him, hon," Kate said.

"Well he came to bed and I pretended to be asleep. I heard him mumbling, so I knew he was drunk. He never says squat when he's sober. At least not since this Sergei crap," Donna said taking a seat on one of the summer chairs they had stored in the basement.

Kate, with her dark head bowed, and her arms folded across her chest leaned against the dryer and asked the inevitable question.

"What did he say?"

"He mumbled some egotistical crap about how he still had it and how he had this woman in the palm of his hand and that he accused me of being just like his mother. He accused me in his drunkeness of seeking the advice of a known cheater because I needed to hide it from him!"

"Did you confront him about any of this earlier today?"

"No, he didn't remember a damn thing. He just retched and vomited into the toilet while I stood there. However, I did lay out clothes for him to wear this morning, so no one within six inches of him could not fail notice that...hickey...or whatever it was on his neck. I hope he was embarrassed in front of his mother."

"Don't tell Marcus I told you, but he and Mike had a very hard time keeping him away from the women in the joint."

"Who the strippers?" Donna wondered. That was not Harvey's style. If he wanted to sleep with a woman he usually picked from the top of the tree. Harvey had been promiscuous when single not stupidly so, though.

"No, the hookers that worked that particular joint. Apparently they wanted to take Mike out for one last bachelor evening and wound up at a strip joint where they pimped women."

"That is so unlike Harvey. Even when he was desperate for affection he never stooped that low. Did Marcus say that Harvey actually slept with this woman?"

"No, Marcus and Mike dragged his ass out and away when they noticed how bad Harvey had become. He passed out in the car on the way home. They took Mike back because I called Marcus to see how bad things had been because I instinctively knew there was a problem with Harvey. I told him to drop Mike off at his apartment because Rachel had gone home herself."

"Did you see Harvey when he came in?"

"No, I didn't, Donna. I'm sorry," Kate said apologizing.

"Sorry for what. This is all my fault. At least I know he didn't actually cheat on me. I wonder if he realizes that?"