Thank you – I keep saying it but you readers are the bee's knees. See you in review replies (wink wink nudge nudge)

-x-x-x-

"The damage was permanent; there would always be scars. But even the angriest scars faded over time until it was difficult to see them written on the skin at all, and the only thing that remained was the memory of how painful it had been."

― Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

41

I talked to Emmett about eventually moving out. He of course knew it was both a likelihood and a necessity. He said he generally loved having me around whether he was a grieving widower or not, so his house was always my house whenever I wanted it to be. I reassured him that nothing would change with me being there for Ben and him, no matter my living arrangements. I wasn't going to just go cold turkey either. Gradually I'd spend a little less time there and look to be fully moved in at Edward's in a couple of months or so. Though it was a way off, I already had Christmas at the back of my mind, knowing her absence would be even more present. We'd make sure to hang out with the boys as much as possible then. Rose loved Christmas, and that love grew even more once they had Ben.

Charlie was resigned to the fact that his nest had been emptied. For him it was also an inevitability. I of course felt bad about leaving Dad and our family home. Alice said she'd mentioned my departure to him, and he'd told her that if I hadn't been pushed to leave by what happened with Rose, my guilt would have kept me there far longer than it should have. I needed to feel free to be where I wanted to be and especially to progress my relationship with Edward. The truth to it was that Charlie was a big boy. While having daughters who doted on him was fantastic, he was extremely capable, and by no means lonely with all of his buddies and things building with Sue.

"I need to ask you something, but please don't think I'm being morbid. I'm just being prudent," Emmett said across the dinner table. We were being big kids and having a meal with place mats and napkins.

"Okay," I said hesitantly, raising my eyebrow at him in concerned wonder.

"Are you still okay with what Rose and I had in our wills for Ben? I've had to update mine, and I wanted to make sure that nothing has changed for you, and you still want to be his guardian if I was to…go."

"First, you're not going to 'go,' but yes. Of course."

"I know. I'm not going anywhere. But like I said: prudent." He shrugged a little.

I nodded and tried to keep eating. It had been a difficult decision for Rose and Em when they originally made it. Emmett's parents were older, ours were divorced, and I was very close to Ben from the start. It was a given that Alice would have a huge hand in his life as well, but on paper, I would be his primary guardian. It fucking sucked that these sorts of issues were a reality. A parent having to consider what might happen to their child if they weren't around anymore was an unfortunate caution. Most probably didn't even give it much thought. For someone like Emmett, it now held more weight than just caution. He'd seen how quickly life was lost before his eyes. It made it all the more unfathomable that people would actually choose not to be there, when others would give up anything to be. It was another reminder of my gratitude for Charlie's natural willingness to pick up the slack for Renee when she chose a different life.

"Thank you, by the way."

"Of course," I said sincerely.

We lightened the mood with talk of Jasper's birthday at his restaurant the next night. Charlie and Sue were coming over to babysit. We were pretty impressed with Charlie for that. He was good with Ben, but Sue obviously gave him the confidence to step up a little more where there was risk of diaper changes, tears, and the rest. I had finished eating when Emmett got another heavy question off his chest.

"What do I do about all her things, B?" he asked, pushing a piece of broccoli around his plate.

I thought about it for a moment. For months, we'd managed to avoid the lingering notion that when somebody dies you shouldn't probably keep everything they ever owned right where they left it. He was living with her all around him. While it was comforting in some ways, in others it just hurt. For him, looking at her dresses and tops and skirts and makeup and perfume in their bedroom was looking at things that she won't put on when she gets out of the shower after him in the morning. The presence of that routine had been broken. It was such a simple thing that couples took for granted each day, until you faced the tragedy of not having it anymore.

"Would it be okay if Alice and I kept them?"

I couldn't bear the idea of her belongings going to strangers and someone else wearing clothes or jewelry she had chosen or loved when we could do so without feeling masochistic in any way. I knew that like with the rest of my belongings, one day I'd have to be ruthless and throw them out or pass them on. I didn't feel like I wouldn't be able to do that. Like Em I knew I would hang on to a couple of items when the time came, and until then it was a practical solution and a temporary comfort.

"Of course. There are a few things I want. The rest are yours and Ali's."