Chapter 17

Donna returned to the hospital a couple of hours later as she explained everything to her mother and her children. She explained the best she could to Mandy who probably did not quite get it. All Mandy may have heard was that mommy and daddy weren't going to be home tonight. Donna felt bad because she and Harvey had not spent as much time with their children as a cohesive unit has they usually did since they were born. Roberta understood, though, and told Donna not to worry. While home, Donna also called all of Harvey's appointments for the next couple of days to delay or postpone or cancel altogether. Some she could not cancel or postpone until the morning when court opened. He was due in court on that Friday morning or maybe she would just have Mike take first chair. He knew all about the case and he could include Rachel as second chair since she was becoming proficient in litigation as Mike had become. Donna knew Harvey well enough professionally that she knew he would trust Mike in this case.

When Donna did walk back into the hospital wing of the hospice, Harvey had flagged her down. She handed him a backpack.

"What this?" Harvey asked.

"I thought you might need a change of clothes and your shaving kit," Harvey said taking the backpack.

"Thank you," Harvey said and then kissed her cheek.

"How's your mom?"

"Same. The doctors told both Marcus and me to go home and that they would call."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I thought I would stay here a little longer and let Marcus go to the hotel to Kate and the kids. We'd said we would take turns."

"Harvey, this could go on for weeks. I cancelled what I could for the rest of the week, but I called Mike and told him he would have to try Friday's case for you. I assume you do not want me to go any further with your appointments for next week."

"No, I guess we'll have to take one day at a time for right now. Thank you for telling Mike about Friday. I will tell him to take Rachel as second chair. I was going to take her anyway. Give her a little exposure to a real courtroom."

"I already told him that. He and Rachel sent their best wishes."

"That was nice of them. They both probably thought I was nuts considering all the years I shunned my mother like the plague."

Donna put a hand on Harvey's shoulder comfortingly. "No they don't. They understand."

"Hey," Harvey said stepping a little closer and speaking quietly. "Are you ready for that talk?"

"Sure. Did you find a place where we can go?"

"They said we could use mom's regular room if we needed. That way they would be able to get a hold of us."

"Ok. Let's go," Donna said as Harvey took her hand in his. Donna looked at him and he looked like he had fought a war all by himself. Harvey's dark brown eyes were rimmed in red and watery. His hair was all over the place and his suit jacket was no longer with him. He also had removed his tie, his shirtsleeves were rolled up, and his shirt open revealing his white undershirt.

When they arrived back at his mother's normal room, Donna turned on the light in the living space and put down her handbag. She walked over to the mini refrigerator that the patients were allowed to keep in their rooms. As she took out two cans of ginger ale, she asked.

"So, where do you want to start?"

Harvey took the can of ginger ale that Donna offered wishing it were something a little stronger. He thought he definitely wanted to have something strong especially when he was going to have this talk.

"Where did you go...no why did you go to see that fake Russian womanizer? You aren't or weren't having an affair with him, were you? Why did you lie to me?" Harvey's pleading tone sounded as if his heart was broken. Donna was the only woman he really ever loved and he wanted to believe the truth that he meant just the same to her.

"Ok, Harvey, here's what really happened. A couple of months ago when we had Rachel's shower, I really admired Sergei's work. The food was wonderful and his staff was fabulous. So I know that your 45th birthday is coming up in January, and I wanted to throw you a surprise party. Now, I know you hate surprises but this was all about you..."

"My favorite kind of party..." Harvey smirked and sniffed.

"So, I didn't feel, nor do I have time to do all that research and all I needed was the food. I thought I could just arrange with him to pick up the food at his place once I had made the choices. Well, the first time I went to see him I had Mandy and Gordon with me but it didn't seem to stop him from making goo-goo eyes at me."

"Goo-goo eyes? What are we in junior high?" Harvey asked not believing what word his wife just used for a man who obviously had more on his mind than catering food.

"So why did you go back? Especially after what had happened at Rachel's party! I assume this second visit happened on Black Friday when you told me you had a fitting for your dress for Rachel's wedding." Harvey took a sip of his ginger ale.

Donna who had been standing at the little counter took a seat on the little couch provided in the small room. Donna had changed when she had returned home from her work dress and heels to her blue jeans, a blue sweater and her white Nikes. She took a sip of her drink and looked at her husband who sat on the arm of the chair across from her. They were close enough to hold hands. Not that they did but they were that close in the small room.

"In answer to your question, I went back because he said that he had some different foods that he wanted me to taste for your party. So I reluctantly agreed to see him. He insisted that it had to be on Black Friday because the chef was only going to be in town for that day."

"Donna, you are always so intuitive. Couldn't you tell he was trying to trap you?" Harvey asked concernedly.

"Yes, I did, but I went anyway. I had already made the deposit for your party, so I told my lie and I went."

"What happened? Why were you gone all day? You had told Kate you were only going to be a couple of hours because you knew we were all going out that night."

"Harvey, nothing happened..."

"Something happened because you came to see my mother and when I saw her that Sunday after, she told me to talk to you because she felt something was wrong between us because I behaved so guardedly around her like I used to."

"Harvey, you promise me you won't go punch him out or trump a lawsuit against him if I tell you what happened?"

"Oh...," Harvey said becoming alarmed. His mind was doing somersaults wondering what could have happened to her. He hoped she hadn't been...raped.

"What did that son of a bitch do? Did he hurt you? Rape you?" Harvey was warming to his tune and beginning to get hot.

"He made a couple of passes. He tried to cop a few feels of my breasts and my ass," Donna said offhandedly like she was used to having men not her husband stick their hands down her blouse and try to cup her breast.

"That son of a bitch. I'm gonna kill him," Harvey said rising from his sitting position and swiftly pacing the floor.

"Harvey! I was shaken and I knew I couldn't go home like that, so I came to see your mother and I told her what had happened."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your husband and your lawyer! You come to me when things like that happen, so my mind doesn't think you betrayed me. I would have come and got you. We could have left the car in Manhattan. Any number of things," Harvey said incredulous that his wife would not tell him that she was almost raped.

"I didn't want to call you after it happened because I was ashamed. I was ashamed I lied to you and I knew you wouldn't like it, so I thought if I just calmed down then I would go home and you would see that nothing had really happened and that I was fine. I am fine. You know I've handled plenty of men. I shook him off and threatened that I would press charges if he didn't leave me alone."

"You're my wife. I've always protected you, even when you were just my friend, and now is not an exception," Harvey walked over to her and pulled her into his arms and took her face in his hands.

"He didn't rape you, did he?"

Donna gave Harvey the incredulous look now. "No. I would have told you had that happened. I would never let that happen. I know how to defend myself physically. I didn't live in Brooklyn all those years and take public transportation without knowing how to defend myself, you know."

"Donna, I love you so much. I could never stand if anything happened to you," Harvey said boring his eyes into her and then he kissed her passionately. It was the first real kiss they had shared in two weeks.

Donna appreciated that his wall had come down but she still had questions of her own.

"Ok, my turn, Harvey. How the hell did you get that mark and do not tell me you don't remember."

Harvey released her and was not prepared to confess his own sin. He felt ashamed now of his behavior that Sunday after Thanksgiving. He was loathed to tell her, but he knew there would be no peace between them until he confessed.

"You're right, Donna. I do remember. As a matter of fact, the memory came back just today. Something I was working on triggered it."

"Ok, so, tell me," Donna insisted. Her position as his one and only was not really in danger she knew that. She was just pissed because instead of him taking the time with her to let her explain he had imagined this whole affair and let himself respond to an imagined betrayal. She had resumed her seat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her inviting her husband to join her. She was glad he was going to tell her what happened. Knowing Harvey he was probably trying to resume his womanizing ways to retaliate for her mistakenly thought behavior.

"I was really, really drunk when we got there. I was so drunk that Marcus drove both to and from. Anyway, I got in there and I wanted to forget I was a happily married man and revenge myself by sleeping with another woman. I smiled at this young woman who was probably young enough to be my daughter. I ignored Marcus and Mike's warning and waved my scotch at her. She got up from the table where she was sitting waiting for her turn on the stage, came over to me and sat on my lap. She was trying to make a few bucks by giving me my own private lap dance. Anyway, Marcus and Mike tried to get her off but I just held onto her, so she was encouraged and began nibbling my ear I suppose that's when she thought she had a customer and took more liberties with my neck. I swear Donna I had so much booze I didn't feel her sucking the hell out of my neck."

"You let this strange woman just touch you like that not even remembering that I should be all you need in the sex department, Harvey. Maybe I should go to this strip joint and beat up this bitch."

"Now who's protecting who?" Harvey asked smiling.

"I'm always protecting you whether you like it or not..."

"I know," Harvey said taking a last sip of his ginger ale.

"It's more than protecting you. You are mine now as much as I am yours and no one touches what is mine. You got it?"

"I know I loved you for some reason," Harvey said brushing Donna's red hair aside and kissing her neck.

Donna giggled because Harvey's touch there always gave her goosebumps.

"Harvey, look at me," Donna said seriously wanting him to understand the words she was ready to state.

"Harvey!"

"Ok, what is it?"

"I know how much it took for you to finally trust me enough to admit that you loved me and ask me to marry you. I would never betray that trust. If I ever wanted to stray I would be woman enough to let you know first and walk way before hurting you. Those stories of how your mother cheated on your father made me sick. I knew your dad and I loved him myself."

"He loved you, too. I thought he was going to marry you and knock me out of the running."

"Well...he just might have," Donna contemplated aloud teasing Harvey.

"Great. Now I know how you really feel. I'm second best."

"Sure. You'd like to think that to gain sympathy. Nice try, boy."

"Besides, and I know I mentioned this before, where in the hell would I get the time to have an affair? Again, I reiterate: I have been pregnant two out of the last three years which means I have two children under the age of 2. I work full time sometimes 10 hours a day and then spend the rest of my night with you. When am I out of your sight? Except when I go to lunch or beg for an hour for a pedicure? I know, honey, you weren't thinking with that fabulous lawyer's mind of yours but with your husband's heart; however, if you think logically, I think you would have had your answer."

Harvey eyed his wife and then took a last swig of the metal tasting ginger ale.

"So has Mr. Peach tried to contact you since Black Friday?" Harvey wondered.

"Yes, he has called me at least twice every day since then and I keep threatening that I am going to sue him for sexual assault. He knows you're a lawyer, but he doesn't believe I would really do it."

"You did know that Sergei Patronov is not his real name, then?"

" Yes, I did some research on the same day after I was with your mom and then I went shopping as you saw. It was therapy to calm me down before I had to go home and face you."

"And shopping you did, I don't think my credit card has had a hit like that since I married you."

"Well, at least most of the Christmas shopping is done."

Then Donna and Harvey laughed and looked at one another. It was a laugh of utter relief. The air had finally been cleared and they could go on with their life together.

They both looked up as Marcus came in the door.

"Mom, ok?" Harvey asked.

"Yes. I was just going to gather my stuff and go over to the hotel and see Kate and the kids. You guys ok?"

Donna and Harvey looked at one another and then just smiled.

"Yes, we are just fine."

Lillian rebounded from her tumor movement a little. A week later, she was taken off the critical list and moved back to her room where she could transport herself in a wheelchair. She had some light physical therapy to keep her leg muscles from atrophy, but her mind still wondered from reality to imaginary and from the present to the past. A few days later when Harvey was talking to her she had called him Gordon and started talking about a woman of whom Lillian had apparently been jealous as she was a singer with another band and that Gordon wanted to bring into his band or have on one of his albums as a guest singer. Harvey had never known any of this, so he was a tad surprised when his mother revealed that his father had not been perfect either. It seemed innocent enough because Harvey knew how much his father had loved his mother. That was why when the finale of his family life had happened Gordon had reacted so badly. Just when Harvey was going to try to answer his mother's question regarding the female singer, Lillian snapped back into the present and asked Harvey when he was going to talk with Donna about the events of Black Friday.

"We did talk, mom. We talked the night they took you over to the critical care unit."

Lillian nodded her head up and down and patted her son's shoulder.

"Good boy, Harvey. Donna loves you so much. She protects you so much. She came to me and blurted out what happened with that caterer because she knew that you probably thought she was having an affair. She wasn't. Did you know she was almost sexually assaulted?"

"Yes, mom, Donna told me. We're good. Now when was the last time Marcus came to see you?'

Lillian smiled. "He, Kate, and the kids came by yesterday. Marcus said he would be back in a couple of days but that he had to return to Boston to close a few things and make sure the kids didn't miss too much time before Christmas vacation."

"Well, I have a surprise for you."

"Really? Well, I'm not real good with surprises. They haven't ever been the best for me."

"I think you will change your mind once you see it."

Harvey went to the door of Lillian's room and whispered to Donna to come in.

Lillian's eyes lit up the minute she saw Donna, Amanda, and little Gordon in his coach.

"My grandbabies! Come here and give grandma a hug, Mandy," Lillian encouraged.

Mandy was not sure what to make of her grandmother in the wheelchair and looked up at her mom and tried to hide between Donna 's legs.

Donna came down to her level and said, "Go give Grandmom Lillian a hug. She loves you. You don't want her to think we don't love her back, right?"

Mandy shook her head so violently that her ponytail whipped back and forth.

"Ok. So give Grandma a hug. Daddy will take you," Donna said.

"Sure, sweetie. Take Daddy's hand," Harvey said and watched as Mandy clasped her father's hand in hers and he walked her over to Lillian.

"Harvey, can you sit her in my lap?"

"Are you sure?"

"I still have feeling from my hips to my thighs. It's just my knees to my feet where I have most of the paralysis. I'm sure she'll let me know if she's uncomfortable."

"Ok, but I will be right next you. Mandy can be squirmy," Harvey volunteered.

"Like you were," Lillian said with that mother's proud glint in her eye. "You were always too busy to stay in one place. Always ambitious from the time you were Mandy's age."

Harvey just shook his head and marveled that his mother had remembered details like that. She did actually love me Harvey thought.

"Could I hold Gordon, too?"

"You're sure you can handle both? Gordon seems to be getting a little squirmy himself now that he's almost five months old," Donna said as she picked up the baby from his coach. He looked all around at the lights and focused on his mother's voice. Donna with motherly pride talked to her baby boy and said, "Grandma wants to hold you, little man. You be good. Don't spit up on her."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Lillian said. "I seem to be spitting up on myself more these days."

"Well, ok, let me put this cloth diaper on your blouse so if he does erupt you won't have to change. Mandy will help. She's a big help with her baby brother, aren't you, sweetie?" Donna asked Mandy who nodded.

"Ok, I want to take a picture of all of you. Get in there, Harvey," Donna urged as she lined up her cell phone with the family gathering.

"Donna you need to get in the picture, too. I'll go get some help from one of the caretakers. Hold on," Harvey said as he scooted out the door looking for a free person to take the snapshot.

"How about we go over to the tree? That way the picture will make a nice Christmas photo," Lillian said. "Perhaps, my last..." she stated quietly under her breath.

Donna hung her head out the door looking for Harvey. She spotted him coming down the hall with one of the service people, Thomas, Donna believed was his name. He had been there and helped her on the Black Friday when Donna had come on her own to see her mother-in-law.

"Hey, Thomas here has a couple of minutes and said he would be more than happy to snap a family picture on our phones," Harvey said happily.

"Harvey, your mom wants to take the picture near her little tree. Do you think we could move her over there?"

"Sure. We'll just move the kids and then move mom over there and put the kids back on her lap."

"Uh, Harvey. I think your mom is thinking this is going to be her last Christmas with us," Donna said quietly to Harvey before he stepped back into the room.

He nodded. "It well could be, honey. The doctor said any decline could be sudden and rapid. We just have to face that fact."

Donna lowered her head and then looked up into Harvey's deep brown eyes and smiled. "Ok. I just wanted you to be ready. That's all."

"I know. You just want me to be prepared as best I can because of how sudden my father's death was. I am somewhat prepared, but you know that no matter how prepared a person may be death is always a shock."

"Ok. I'm here for you. You know that."

"Of course you are. Now let's get this picture taken."