The quote in the chapter is from Jandy Nelson "The Sky is Everywhere." It's such a beautiful book that I found after I finished writing HSB and I highly recommend it.

-x-x-x-

"We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

- Dr. Seuss

42

It took me a week to get my head around the idea; then one day when Emmett was at work and Ben was at day care, I started slowly sorting through my sister's things. I treaded carefully at first, testing to see whether unsettling the position of her everyday treasures wouldn't also unhinge anything in the stability I had found.

The books by her bed that were frozen in time by their unmoving bookmarks bothered me. They needed to be finished, rather than neglected by her absence. I'd find out what happened in "The Baby Whisperer"and "Me Before You" for her and then let Alice do the same. Her perfume bottle sat with the lid off on her dresser – Emmett was keeping that. Her hairbrush with a few loose blonde hairs, her favorite MAC lipstick, the box of things that had been in the car with her that I'd brought home from the hospital, vitamins and face creams, a Polaroid slipped in the corner of the mirror of her and Emmett from a friend's wedding. What did you do with something like a hairbrush? I put anything with a question mark aside to work out another day. I guessed a few things would be going in the trash. Or maybe just to the attic for now.

Alice joined me after a couple of hours. I was sitting on the floor looking through a shoebox filled with special letters, gift cards, and random photos that Rose had kept. A lot of it was from Emmett, but there was plenty in it from the two of us as well. He would keep it safe here. I was laughing at some of the notes from her early high school days. Neil Diamond fan club…snaps of when they drew Luke Perry-style forehead lines on themselves…her love of James Dean…Madonna…a photo of the "Cranberries couch" like the one on their CD cover that she had in her bedroom before we left Forks. It all served as a reminder how very happy, popular, kind, and loved she was.

When Emmett came home with Ben, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of the two of us dressed in her denim jacket from twenty years ago, her pink jazzercise leggings and her prom dress, listening to her Bangles tape on an old cassette player we found in the garage. Ben started giggling at the high ponytail on top of my head.

"Jesus, you chicks finally lose your minds?" Emmett laughed.

Alice looked between us then nodded.

"All evidence points to yes, big bro."

The song changed to "Walk Like an Egyptian" and he cringed.

"Oh man, I'm kinda glad I wasn't with her when she played this stuff regularly."

"Come on, 'Eternal Flame' is excellent make-out music. You two spent all your early days mouth-to-mouth as it was," Alice teased.

We were away after that. Ben sat between us playing as we took a trip down memory lane, laughing and telling stories about Em and Rose's relationship, and Rose as Alice knew her before I came along or when I was too young to have been as aware. It was the freest we'd been when looking back, without a hint of solemnity about it.

Emmett went to get a beer and came back with Edward in tow, fresh from work and equally as perplexed and amused by our bedroom party. We sat there for another half hour with him before the little dude needed dinner and Alice needed to head home to the hubby.

I got out of my ridiculous outfit and decided to follow Edward back to his for the night with a small bundle of Rose's clothes to put in my new wardrobe. It was a good-sized walk-in and was definitely designed with a lady in mind. I was grateful that lucky lady was going to be me. We got out plates and cutlery for the Thai takeout which he had picked up on his way home.

"I wish I'd met your sister, Bella," Edward said into the fridge. "She's so much a part of you. I would have loved to have known her."

He turned to face me, two bottles of beer in his hand.

"You will. Just indirectly." I smiled and touched his cheek, reaching up to kiss him and trying to stop myself at just one lip lock.

We had talked quite a bit about Charlotte and I was beginning to feel even closer to his family through the stories Edward told. They were definitely at a place where the memory of her was comfortable for them. He did explain to me that he always felt that knowing her death was coming had eased some of the pain. There was nothing left unspoken, even though it was awful for them to have to express the fears of what came next and have the guts to face it all with her.

Being amongst Rose's belongings for the purpose I had today got me thinking of a line in the book I had just finished. Reading had become something that helped, and the good books often gave you a new way of thinking of things. "It's such a colossal effort not to be haunted by what's lost, but to be enchanted by what was."

I couldn't afford to be anything but enchanted by Rose and the beautiful, incomparable spirit she was. It didn't fit with her character in life to be haunted by memories of her following her death.

Yes, I was very much enchanted. You couldn't not be. And I would remain so forevermore.