A/N: Sorry for the mix-up earlier. I must've scrolled. Oops. This is the right one.
Playlist: Thunder by Boys Like Girls, 4 Real by Avril Lavigne
Chapter 11
2008
"Did you want to elaborate on that?" I ask. I know I'm being rude. But come on.
"I . . . there's so much I want to say to you. And I've wanted to say it for so long, but I never quite imagined the look on your face while I said it."
I sit there and wait for him to continue.
"You look so sad. It's devastating. I've never seen you so sad before."
"No, you wouldn't have, would you? Maybe Alice should have sent you pictures in the mail or something."
"You have to know, you changed my life. You made me see everything differently. I have no doubt I'd be strung out or dead right now if it weren't for you."
"Yeah, well, you changed my life, too."
"I know. I'm sorry."
The words echo through the room, banging off the walls like they'll never stop, and I don't want them to.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1997
Edward's head is nestled between my breasts, his arms clamped around me. My body aches in the best way, and I bite my lip with the rush of memories from last night. I remember his warm breath, gentle pressure, and needy hands, and I squirm. I can't help it. He was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better first time.
He stirs, his hands stroking me softly as he kisses my bare skin. I stretch beneath him, and he raises his head, propping his chin on my chest. "Morning," he says with a smug smile.
"Morning," I say, rolling my eyes.
"What's that for?" He rolls his eyes, copying me.
"You and that stupid grin. Lose it before everyone in this house knows."
"Like you care."
"I care," I say, shocked.
"If it weren't for me covering your mouth with mine last night, everyone would already know."
"Well, I didn't know you were going to do that thing, while you were doing that other thing."
"You are the cutest girl on the planet," he announces, biting his lip.
I smack his forehead, laughing, but then we both freeze when we hear movement in the hallway.
There's a light knock on the door. "Yeah?" Edward says, voice heavy, like he just woke up. Good thinking.
"Mom's up and making breakfast. And Bella's still asleep, but when she gets up, will you walk her home? I'm too tired."
"Sure thing, Alice."
"Okay, thanks," she says, a smile in her voice.
"I'm just polite like that."
"Uh huh."
"And you're a bad friend." He covers his mouth to hide his chuckling.
"The worst," she mutters, and then her slippers slap down the hall.
-OP-
We get dressed side by side, Edward catching my eyes on occasion with no apology for staring whatsoever. I love it.
I slip out of his room and into Alice's to grab my things and put some jeans on.
We walk hand-in-hand down the street heading for the overpass. His thumb strokes the backside of my hand, sending a thrill through me, making me want a repeat of last night.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"It was about eleven when we left. Why?"
"No reason. I just feel like last night and today have merged into one big . . ."
He smirks at my words. "One big what, Bella?"
"Shut up."
"Make me."
"Maybe I will."
We're on the bridge now, the wind whooshing around us. My hair's down, whipping across my face. Using one hand, he smoothes it over my shoulder but doesn't stop there. His hand trails down my side to my waist where he fingers the hem of my shirt, his cold fingertips brushing my bare skin.
I close my eyes, imagining when and where Edward and I can be together again like we were last night. When my heart was completely open to him and my body invited him in. When our feelings matched our actions. And we told the honest truth without words.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks.
The rush of traffic below us muffles his words. It would be the perfect time to tell him. Maybe he won't even hear it. And I can pretend I never said it if I feel the need.
I stop his hand suddenly and turn sideways to look at him.
"What?" He gives me the same smile he gave me last night–self satisfied. Cocky jerk.
"Nothing," I say, deciding maybe I won't tell him.
He takes me in his arms and gives me one of those slow, lingering kisses that makes me dizzy and pliable and willing to do anything. Anything at all.
He nuzzles my neck with his nose, his breath keeping my skin warm in the frigid air. "Bella, tell me." His words are soft, pleading. He wants to know what I have to say, no matter what it is.
So I tell him.
With my arms around his neck, fingers in his hair, eyes on his, I whisper my truth. "I love you."
His eyes sweep over mine, rapidly back and forth. His expression changes so quickly I can't make it out. He's all over the place. But in the end, he pulls my hands to his mouth and kisses them, eyes on mine.
I didn't really expect him to say it back. Hell, I didn't know I would even say it. Still, it hurts that he didn't respond. Maybe I'm just being silly. I don't know. This is all so new to me.
He walks me the rest of the way home. He says goodbye softly, a small smile on his face, eyes shy.
"I'll see you later, right?" I ask, though I know I will.
He lets my hand go, placing his own in his pockets, averting his eyes to the street, nodding his head, I think.
I get on tiptoe and kiss his lips before heading inside and trying to sleep the afternoon away. Heaven knows I need it. My body aches from the long day and night before. But I don't mind it at all.
A/N: Reviews are better than a much awaited apology.
A special shout out to yesterday's birthday girl and my fabulous beta, Perry Maxwell. Hope your day was fantastic and full of Henry Cavill. Love you, girl!