63
Three Expectant Witches
Two weeks later:
Despite the fact that Voldemort's campaign to take over wizarding Britain was heating up, with attacks against Muggleborns, their families, blood traitors, and anyone associated with them growing more and more prevalent and vicious, Lily decided to take a day off on Thursday. She had not visited Petunia in over three months, though she had kept in touch with letters. Lily wondered how Petunia managed to have any privacy living with her in-laws. Tuney had assured her that Liana and Charles were lovely people, the epitome of graciousness, but even so, Lily was glad she didn't have to live with Severus' parents, love them though she did. Even without being a spy for the Order, Lily knew she valued her own space and privacy too much to share a house with her in-laws, who might be tempted to stick their noses into her business. And that was something neither she nor Severus would have tolerated. But to each her own.
She also had not seen Cindy in close to two weeks and was wondering how her friend was finding married life. Even though she knew that Reg and Cindy loved each other very much, being married and living in the same house together was quite an adjustment. All of your private idiosyncrasies were exposed to your partner, who could, at times, find them highly amusing or frustrating. Lily, though not a neat freak like Petunia or Severus, had a thing about matching socks and underclothes. And also neatly made beds. An untidy bed drove her insane.
Her husband was nearly OCD about housekeeping, and could not stand crumbs on the floor or wrappers from food left lying about. He also preferred to make his own shampoo and conditioner, since leaning over a cauldron nearly all day and night caused his hair to become coated with potion fumes, some of which made his dark hair look oily and others caused his hair to become stripped of its natural oils and look lank and unwashed. He had developed his own formula of shampoo that would restore your hair to its natural state while keeping it healthy and shiny. Lily had suggested he patent it at the next British National Potioneers Conference. Severus snorted and asked her if she wanted her husband to be known as a namby-pamby dandy? He had told her to patent it instead. She had agreed.
But today she was finally feeling well enough to go out, and she had invited her sister, mother, best friend, and mother-in-law on a shopping trip to Muggle London. Had she not wished to keep her condition a secret, she would have gone to Diagon Alley as well. At least in London she wouldn't have to maintain any Glamours and could just be herself, shopping with her family and friends.
Severus was in class, teaching Advanced sixth year NEWTS, and so was Arthur, so she had the day free to shop for as long as she wished. After carefully locking up the cottage, Lily Flooed over to Eileen's house on Spinner's End. Polly would be meeting her there, and James would bring Tuney and Cindy could Floo there on her own.
When Lily arrived at Spinner's End, she was met by Eileen and a grinning Jess, who screeched, "Lily, you is here!" and threw herself into the red-haired witch's arms, acting as if she hadn't seen Lily in a month. Lily picked up the enthusiastic child and held her close. "Hello, Jessa-by butterfly!" That was her pet name for the little girl, because she fluttered here and there like a butterfly. "I missed you too!"
Jess giggled and kissed her cheek. She was a very bright spontaneous child, and inquisitive to a fault. She cocked her little head and said, very seriously, "Mummy tol' me that I can call you Lily today 'cause today we ain't playin' the Zoey game."
"That's right, Jess. Today I can be Lily," the other witch said. They had explained the reason why Lily was Zoey at Hogsmeade cottage as a game of Let's Pretend, which was something the child could understand and therefore accept. Lily regretted lying to the innocent moppet, but she had no choice. When the war was over, she could set the record straight, but until then she would have to live the lie Dumbledore had created.
She set the child down, and Eileen told her to get her quilted pink robe, since it was chilly out. "Yes, Mummy!" Jess scuttled down the hall to fetch her robe, hanging on a hook behind the door of her room.
"Hi, Eileen!" Lily greeted, hugging and kissing her mother-in-law. "Are you ready to go shopping with two expectant mothers?"
"I have been looking forward to getting out of the house all week," the elder witch admitted. "Ever since I dueled those two scoundrels, I haven't been able to stick my nose out of my apothecary without getting mobbed by overenthusiastic wizards and witches. They seem to think I'm Morgana reincarnated. What a bunch of silly nonsense! I hope it dies down soon, or else I may have trouble with some stupid youngster thinking to duel me and make a name for himself. My mother Sorcha Prince had that problem . . . then again in her day it was quite permissible to settle things at the point of a wand."
"Oh, Eileen! Poor you!"
"Ah, well. It could be worse, I suppose. At least I live in a Muggle neighborhood, where few wizards will venture. And now that Dickon is fully healed and back to teaching, I can take a deep breath and relax again." She smiled at Lily. "I'm so excited that you're expecting, Lily. Are you still having morning sickness? Did Sev give you the tea recipe from me?"
"The raspberry leaf? Yes, he did. It helped a lot. But I think the morning sickness has almost run its course. I'm not getting sick every morning any more. I felt so bad for Sev, the first thing he would wake up to on the weekends with me was the sound of me puking my guts up. It's a wonder he didn't just stay up at the castle."
"Severus would never do that. He told me once that he wanted to be a better husband than Tobias ever was, and that meant sharing the good times and the bad times with you." Eileen smiled whenever she thought about her tall son, and how he had managed to escape the shadow of his father.
"I couldn't ask for a more devoted husband, Eileen." Lily said proudly.
Just then the Floo flared and James stepped through holding Petunia's hand. "Did I hear someone mention a devoted husband? You mean I've got competition?" He quickly brushed the soot off of his wife and grinned roguishly. He was as handsome as ever, though in a more polished manner than he had been at school. Being married had matured him considerably.
"You always did, Potter," Lily teased. "I was speaking of Severus."
"You usually are," James replied, chuckling. He carefully helped his wife out of the fireplace. He was wearing his Auror uniform, as he had to go into work after dropping off Tuney. "There you go, luv. All right?"
Petunia smiled up at him. "Yes, thank you, James." She coughed a little, then blew her nose with a small handkerchief with the Potter crest upon it. "Blasted soot gets up my nose." She was wearing a roomy day dress with an Empire waist colored a pleasing cornflower blue with embroidered violets upon the white collar. You could just barely see the bump that was her growing belly. "You'll forgive me, Lil, if I disagree with you and say that I have the most devoted husband."
"Well, you always did have to have the last word, Tuney," Lily laughed, then she moved to embrace her sister. "And if you didn't think that about James, I'd have to wonder what he did and if you needed me to kick his arse. Goodness, Tuney, but you're starting to show a lot more now."
"Don't look now, Lily, but soon you'll be caught up to me," her older sister smirked, examining her in turn.
James turned and greeted Eileen politely. "I was sorry to hear about what happened to you husband, Mrs. Marsh. I was happy that I could help bring those criminals to justice. I didn't see the duel, but I read about it in the paper, and it sounded very impressive. My father said that he always admired your poise and focus during Defense and that you were the top duelist in the Dueling Club in your year."
Eileen smiled. "Charles was always a charming gentleman, both in and out of school. Tell him I said congratulations to him and Liana, now we'll be grandparents together."
"My mother's already decorating the nursery for the little shaver," James said, shaking his head. "She's got poor Bilbo spinning in circles, she keeps changing the theme every other week."
"I remember doing much the same before Jess was born. I had never had a girl, and there were so many charming patterns to choose from, I couldn't decide. Poor Dickon must have thought he married an utter ninny." Eileen admitted. "Not till almost the end of my pregnancy, that is."
"What did you end up choosing, Eileen?" asked Petunia.
"A starry sky with flying pink pegasi," answered the apothecary.
As if on cue, Jess entered the room, her plush robe wrapped inexpertly about her small frame. "Mum, I got my robe!" she informed Eileen, then she halted and gazed at the two new people in her home. She had not seen Petunia in several months and barely remembered her, and she had never met James. But that didn't deter her from marching up to James and saying, "Hi! Who're you?"
James knelt down in front of her and replied, "My name's James. And who is this pretty little lady?"
"Jessamyn Marsh!" declared the three-year-old, holding out a small hand for James to shake. "Are you a wizard too? Like my big brudder Sevvy?"
"I am. Would you like me to help you with your robe?" James offered.
"Sure. I can't tie so good." Jess said, and stood still while the Auror tied her robe securely about her.
"There! You look adorable in that pink robe." James grinned at her. Merlin, who would ever have thought Snape would have such a cute sister? She's like a little doll.
"You like it? It's my pwincess robe!" Jess declared happily. "Mum, he said my robe was pretty!"
"You look very sweet, Jess. Now can you say hello to Petunia? She's Lily's sister and used to live next door to us."
Jess frowned. "She did? But I don't 'member her."
"That's because I moved away before you were born, Jess," Petunia said, smiling. "I saw you when you were a baby, but you probably don't remember me. You can call me Tuney, it's what Lily called me when she was your age."
Jess shook her head. But then she went and held out her hand to Petunia. "How do you do, Miss Tuney?" said the precocious tot.
"Very well, thank you, Miss Jess," Petunia said gravely, then she winked at the child. "Oh, but she's gotten so big since the last time I saw her!"
"I is a big girl now. I can use the potty and wear big girl pants," Jess said frankly.
"That's quite an accomplishment!" Petunia said, struggling not to laugh at the child's matter-of-fact attitude.
James chuckled softly. "Before you know it, you'll be as tall as me and turning all the boys' heads, little lady."
"Uh huh. But not as tall as Sevvy. He's the tallest man in the world!" said Severus' little sister, hero-worship glowing in her eyes.
James laughed even harder at that statement.
"All those boys are going to get their eyes turned about by Sev's fist if he ever catches them ogling his baby sister," Lily predicted. "He adores her."
"And she adores him," James said. "Makes me wish now that I had a little sister or brother. Instead I got stuck with Nate the Horridly Annoying Cousin." He bent down to kiss Petunia. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, ladies, but duty calls." He bowed to them. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Jess."
"Where are you goin'?"
"I have to go to work."
"Where? At Hogwarts?"
"No, I work in the Ministry. I'm an Auror. I catch dark wizards."
"Have you caught lots?"
"Uh . . . five, I believe." James said, though none of them were caught all by himself, only with Orion's help. "Have fun shopping. Tuney, I'll be back to pick you up at six, all right?"
"That's fine, James. Be careful and have a good day at work."
"I'll try," He waved before tossing down some Floo powder and stepping through the green flames.
"Bye, James," Jess waved back at him as he vanished.
"I think he's going to make a wonderful father," Petunia said.
"Well, he certainly seemed to hit it off right with Jess," Eileen chuckled. "He's a charmer like his father."
"He sure is," Petunia agreed.
There came a knock at the door. "Hello? Anybody home?" came Polly Evans' voice.
"Come in, Poll, the door's open!" Eileen called.
Polly Evans entered, dressed in a simple pair of black slacks and a green pullover with sensible walking shoes, her purse over her shoulder. "Sorry I'm late, Eileen. I lost track of time, I was watching the telly." She hugged Jess and her best friend, and then embraced both of her daughters. "Oh, how I've missed you girls! I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmum . . . twice!"
"I know. Anybody would think we planned it that way," Petunia said.
"I can't wait," Polly said. "And your dad is tickled to death about being a grandpa. He's got a calendar in the pharmacy that he's marked with both your due dates, even though it's not for sure you'll deliver then. And he tells all his customers with children that he's going to be a grandfather."
"That's good, Mum. I'm glad you're both happy," Lily said sincerely. She had told Polly about her "miscarriage" and her mother had told her that such things were common with first time brides and to not be discouraged, the Evans women might be slow to catch, but once they did, the baby was normally healthy and full term.
Cindy came through the Floo just then, her dark green robes trimmed with a border of storks, her eyes alight with anticipation. "Hello, everyone! I know I'm a little late, but you see . . . I was visiting my local Healer. I thought I'd caught a stomach bug but it turns out that I'm—"
"Holy Merlin, Cin! You're expecting too?" Lily squealed.
Her best friend nodded.
Lily jumped up and hugged her. "Oh, that's wonderful! When are you due?"
"Umm . . .early August, or that's what the Healer said. Though he also said I might go early, because my mum had a history of delivering a week before her due date." She shrugged. "Makes no never mind to me. The baby will be born when it's born."
The two older witches nodded sagely.
"Does Reg know?"
"Not yet, but he will tonight." Cindy laughed. "I never thought I'd be pregnant so soon. Then again, Mum always said fertility ran in the family."
"Reg's going to be so surprised," Lily predicted. "Now he and Sev have something else in common. Like us."
"Right you are, sister," Cindy grinned. "And do you know who else is expecting from our year, Lily?"
"Who?"
"Alice Stewart, well she's Longbottom now. I saw her in the waiting room just before I went in to see the Healer. I think she's due right around the end of July."
"That's right. Now I remember James mentioning that Frank had announced he was going to be a father right before James learned I was pregnant." Petunia recalled.
"And Narcissa Malfoy is also pregnant," murmured Lily.
Cindy frowned. "I hope, for her sake, that she gives old Lucius an heir on her first go. I'd hate to have that coldblooded viper in my bed more than once." She shuddered.
Lily nodded and the others just remained quiet, since none of them knew much about the Malfoys. Though Lily did wonder if Narcissa ever thought about her child being enslaved by Voldemort, or perhaps since she and Lucius were really Death Eaters they regarded it as an honor instead of a horror.
"All right, is everyone ready?" Cindy asked, her eyes sparkling. "Then let's go shopping! I'll need to know your sizes, girls, so I can buy you a sexy nightie to go along with the baby gifts."
Petunia coughed. "A sexy nightie? I think it's going to be a long time before I can wear one of those again."
"Nonsense! They make them in maternity size now. My cousin had one," Cindy stated. "Why should newlyweds get to have all the fun?"
"Really, Cin, by the time I'm ready to deliver, Sev's going to need a map to see where my feet are, among other things," Lily said.
"But what about before that?" suggested her friend naughtily.
"Cynthia Black!" Eileen pretended to scold her. "What would your mother say?"
"That she wishes she had one!" retorted the irrepressible witch.
All of them laughed, except Jess, who was too young to understand the conversation.
The little girl tugged on Eileen's sleeve and whined, "Mummy, can we go now?"
"Yes, imp. We can go now."
"Yay! I love shoppin'!" Jess clapped her hands.
Then they all joined hands and Apparated over to Muggle London, arriving in Hyde Park, in a grove of stately elm trees.
They took a cab to one of the higher end shopping districts and swarmed into the baby boutique.
For several minutes, all five women were enthralled with the variety of baby clothes and accessories. There were tons of styles and fabrics to choose from, each one cuter than the last.
"Goodness!" Petunia exclaimed as she picked up a soft baby receiving blanket with quilted blocks of different colors and giraffes stitched upon it. "How cute is this?" And this?" she picked up another with blue tigers and lions on it playing with balls. "I can't make up my mind."
"Oh, just get 'em both, Tuney," Lily told her. "You can always use another blanket, especially since you don't know what you're going to have."
Petunia considered for about a minute, then put the two blankets into her trolley. It was already loaded with clothes, toys, and borders for the nursery, as well as sheets and a comforter in a mint green with colorful pink, yellow, and blue swallows on it. "Maybe this will help Liana decide on a theme before the baby comes."
"What does James say about the baby?" asked Eileen. "Have you decided upon a name?"
"James does want a boy, he needs an heir, after all," Petunia said matter-of-factly. "But I was kind of looking forward to having a daughter. We think that we probably want to name a boy Harry, after my dad, and I want James for a middle name, though James thinks Charles would be better. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I think Bethany is a pretty name for a girl."
"I like that, Tuney," said Lily, holding up a pretty ruffled dress. "Sev says he doesn't have a preference, but I swear secretly he's longing for a little girl. I haven't yet decided on names, I figure we'll have time to think of some together." She placed a hand over her stomach. "Oh, but I can't wait till this baby is born and I can hold him or her in my arms."
"Me either!" Cindy exclaimed. "So far Reg says he doesn't care either, though I think boys are easier to deal with than girls. I always got along better with my little brother Evan than I did my younger sisters. Since it's a tradition in the Black family to name their children after stars and constellations, Reg thought that Perseus would be good for a boy or Lyra for a girl, and I could choose their middle names. We had that discussion on our honeymoon." She belched unexpectedly. "Excuse me! This pregnancy business is the ultimate annoyance. Except for the fact that our magic is so much stronger. I can animate several objects to do different things about the house, which I think will be a Godsend when I'm further along."
"Oh, it will, child, believe me!" Polly declared. "Right, Eileen?"
Eileen nodded. "Especially in your eighth and ninth months, when you're the size of a baby elephant and can barely waddle back and forth from the bathroom! I'll tell you, I was tempted to just stay the rest of the time until I went into labor in the bathroom."
Polly started laughing, "Oh, Eileen! I can remember thinking the very same thing! Especially when they were kicking you in the ribs and all. I barely slept at all during those months, I could never get comfortable."
"I think I'm going to have James build me a hot tub," Petunia stated dreamily.
"Oooh, when it's done, can you invite me over?" Cindy begged.
"Sure, why not? How about you, Lily?"
"I wouldn't mind a good soak in a whirlpool." Her sister agreed. "Although Sev's a champion foot massager."
"Maybe he could give Reg some pointers," Cindy remarked.
They pushed their shopping trolleys an aisle over to where they had some soft play toys and toy boxes.
Up until then, Jess had been sitting quietly in Eileen's trolley, listening to the witches discuss their pregnancies. Now she piped up with a dozen questions. "Mummy, is Sevvy havin' a baby? Can I see it?"
Eileen smiled at her small daughter. "Not yet, imp. And Lily's having the baby, not Sevvy. Though when it's born, he'll be a daddy."
"He will?"
"Sure, Jess." Lily told her.
"Where is the baby, Lily?"
"Right here." She took Jess' hand and guided it to the small round bump beneath her dress. "Inside my tummy."
Jess' little nose wrinkled. "How come?"
"Because the baby needs a safe place to grow before he or she comes out into the world."
Jess turned and looked at Eileen. "Mummy, was I inside your tummy?"
"You certainly were. That's where all babies stay until they get born."
"How'd I fit in there?"
"Ah . . . you were very small," Eileen told her.
Jess looked at Cindy and Petunia. "And you is all havin' babies too?"
The other women nodded.
"Oh." She then proceeded to fire off questions. "When's the babies gettin' born?"
They told her their due dates.
"Can I play with 'em?"
"When they're a little older, you can," Lily said.
"Whatcha gonna call 'em?"
Petunia and Cindy repeated their tentative choices and Lily added, "Sev and I haven't picked a name out yet, Jess. Would you like to help pick out a name?"
Jess nodded. "Am I gonna be a big sister?"
Polly chuckled. "No, because this is your brother's baby. So that makes you an aunt."
"Aww! But I wanna be the big sister!"
"You can be the big aunt," Lily told her. "And teach the baby all sorts of things."
Jess seemed to like that idea. "Like what?"
"How to talk, and count, and sing. And read too." Eileen said. "Just like your brother taught you."
"I can do it, Mum! I can teach 'em eberything!"
"You mean everything," corrected her mother. "V-v-v. Everything."
"Severus sings?" Petunia's eyes went wide.
"Yup. He sings to me!" Jess shouted. Then she began to sing loudly, "Hey diddle diddle the cat n'the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon . . ." That was one of her favorites.
"Who would have thought?" Tuney muttered. "Is he any good?"
"Oh, yes. He has the most lovely velvet bass," Lily sighed. "But he doesn't sing in public because he thinks he's awful. He can be so silly, right, Jess?"
"Silly Sevvy!" Jess cried, then burst out into hysterical giggles, making the others laugh too.
Several other customers looked over at them and smiled tolerantly at the little girl.
"Have you decided on godparents yet, girls?" Polly queried, knowing that the choosing of godparents was important in wizarding society.
"Um . . .I think James wants Sirius for the godfather. And I was . . . err . . .going to have either Annie or you, Lily, except I don't want Sev to feel left out." Petunia said awkwardly. "But James really has his heart set on Sirius . . ."
"Ask Annie, Tuney. I don't mind." Lily said magnanimously. "You can have us as godparents for your next one. Besides, I hear Mr. Bachelor Black is smitten with her."
"No!" Cindy gasped. "Sirius is going to settle down with one girl finally? That's unbelievable!"
"He certainly seems very serious about her," Petunia answered. "No pun intended."
"I'm almost positive Sev wants Reg for godfather," Lily said. "And that means you for godmother, Cin. Next time it'll be you and James, Tuney."
"And I can return the favor, Lil, and make you and Sev my godparents," Cindy decided.
"That would be fine."
The five women all moved over to the maternity section of the store, and soon their trolleys were piled high with all kinds of clothes, including the sexy lingerie Cindy insisted upon buying them.
A sales clerk spotted them and hurried over, his tie askew. "Hello, ladies, how may I help you? Is there something in particular you're looking for?"
Before any of them could respond, Jess replied in her high piping soprano, "A sexy nightie."
Everyone in that section of the store started chuckling.
The sales clerk turned the color of a ripe tomato and sputtered, "Ah . . . err. . .!"
"Out of the mouths of babes!" sniggered an eighty year old lady, gripping her cane.
"Jessamyn Marsh!" Eileen scolded quietly, but then she burst out laughing, unable to help herself.
The rest of the girls all followed suit, though Polly took pity on the poor young man and told him they could manage just fine. He fled, looking as if he were about to pass out from embarrassment.
ICICICICIC
Hogwarts school
That same afternoon:
Dickon was sitting on Severus' couch, relaxing after his previous night of teaching, sipping a steaming cup of tea while Severus grumbled about his current batch of homework and how Hogwarts should institute a penmanship class in order to make sure students could write legibly with quill and ink.
"Sounds like a good idea, Sev," Dickon said, while nibbling on a shortbread one of the house elves had brought along with the tea tray. "I always thought the pureblood wizard kids had an unfair advantage over us half-bloods and Muggleborns who were raised Muggle. I mean, I'd never seen a quill except in a museum exhibit before going to Diagon Alley to buy my school supplies. I spent half the summer before my first year struggling to learn to write with one and when I had my first homework assignment, I could barely write a sentence without countless splotches. I learned eventually how to trim and dip a quill from my best friend, Liam Murphy."
"I agree. I knew how to use a quill because Mum taught me, but I had to show Lily. Maybe I should speak to the Headmaster about instituting a class for first year Muggleborns and half-bloods, it would save me a lot of aggravation trying to read their essays, and them a great deal of frustration as well. I know I hated being made to look inferior in front of my Housemates, and I'm sure the Muggleborns and Muggle-raised half-bloods feel the same."
"Why don't you start by tutoring the first-years in your House, Severus? You have a few half-bloods and Muggleborns, don't you?"
"Yes. Four that I know of, despite the fact that everyone thinks only purebloods are Sorted into Slytherin. Perhaps I could work in a class during the evenings on Friday."
"Good! That way you'll have an example to point to when you approach Albus on the subject. The school really needs to have more electives and show a bit more progress." Dickon mused.
Severus finished grading his morning class's batch of homework before setting aside his quill and bottle of red ink and settling next to his father to drink his own cup of Dragon Oolong and eat a few shortbreads. His gaze fell upon the stack of parenting books he had purchased in Flourish and Blotts a few days ago. He had been slowly reading through them, hoping to gain some confidence by learning as much as he could about different styles and methods of parenting. But the books just made him feel even more inadequate, as they revealed how little he actually knew about raising and caring for a child.
He had wanted to discuss a few things with Dickon when he had first learned Lily was pregnant, but then the Astronomy teacher had been attacked and it had taken a week for him to recover, robbing Severus of his chance. Until now. Clearing his throat nervously, he asked, "Dad, when you learned Mum was expecting . . . were you . . . nervous?"
Dickon eyed him over the rim of his teacup. "Nervous? Why, yes, I suppose I was. I was excited, of course, because I'd always wanted a little tyke of my own, not that I didn't consider you my son, Sev, but . . . you were a bit big to sit on my knee and listen to bedtime stories."
"Too true," the other snorted, though he didn't say that had he been ten years younger, he would have enjoyed listening to Dickon tell stories. "Did you ever worry that . . . you might do it all wrong?"
Dickon set down his teacup and looked deeply into his son's eyes. "Do it wrong? You mean, like Tobias?"
Severus just nodded.
"Sev, Tobias might have been your father by blood, but what he did with you I would hardly call raising a child. Tobias was never a real father to you, because a real father puts his son first and himself second. A real father provides for his family and tries to set a good example for his son to follow. And a real father loves his child no matter what. Tobias was nothing but a sperm doner."
"I know that. I don't ever want to follow in his footsteps."
"Why would you ever think you would, Severus?"
"Because . . . I have his temper, Dad. And his bloody perfectionist attitude." Severus admitted softly, ashamed.
Dickon touched his shoulder lightly. "Sev, that may be so, but you've done something Tobias never did. You've learned to control that temper."
"What if I haven't? What if, for some reason, I . . . lose control?"
"You've dealt with troublemaking students of yours, Severus. And I'd wager that lad Arthur has pushed your buttons a time or two. Did you lose it with them?"
"No. I know how far I can go with them, and what to do if they step out of line. But this baby . . . I've read all these books on parenting and I just . . . feel so incompetent. I thought I knew what I was getting into, after watching Jess, but being responsible for my own is a whole different cauldron of newts."
"Aye, it is. It's scary, thinking about just how much you're going to need to teach the little one. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid too, the first time Eileen told me she was carrying another child. And I had three younger sibs that I'd helped my mum raise after my dad died. But you're right, it's not the same. For one thing, I hadn't been solely responsible for my brothers and sister, I'd had my mother to help me. With Jess though, it was just me. I knew how to care for a babe, basically, but even so I was nervous, just like any first time father. The first time I held her, I worried that I might drop her, the first time I fed her a bottle, I worried that I would forget when to burp her and she'd end up throwing up all over me. But I took it one day at a time, and I learned as she grew what worked and didn't. Sev, you can read all the books you want about how to do this and that, but here's something no book can teach you. The first and most important rule of a good parent is—to remain calm and cultivate patience. Every child is different. You'll get to know your baby by spending time with him or her. And then how to react accordingly."
"What about discipline?"
"Well, Sev, you know what worked and didn't on you, right? I'd suggest you try a few things and see what works best. Some kids only need to be told once not to do something and they obey. Others it takes several times before they listen. You and Lily should discuss possible disciplinary problems and solutions to them beforehand. That way you both have a system you can live with. If you don't feel comfortable using corporal punishment, then don't use it. You can be firm and consistent without resorting to a smack. Plus, you have the advantage of knowing when enough is enough, as well as what can happen when you go too far. If you think you're losing your control, Sev, just walk away. You ought to know from teaching that you never lose control when you issue detentions."
"I do."
"Then you're halfway there. Another thing I learned—don't be afraid to make mistakes. Parenting is nine tenths trial and error and one-tenth figuring out what the hell works. I learn something new every day with Jess. She keeps me on my toes. But I wouldn't trade her for anything, the little minx! The best advice I can give you, Severus, is to love your child, even when—especially when—they make you want to paddle their backsides into next week. There's no such thing as a perfect parent. Or a perfect child. Anybody who tells you there is—is full of it. It's a great responsibility, and a great learning experience, but it also has the greatest rewards. The first time you hold your baby in your arms, you're going to feel something you've never felt before in your life. Even now I can hardly describe the sensation of utter wonder, and joy, and protectiveness. It's a love like none other and once you feel it, you're never the same."
Severus was quiet for awhile, thinking about what Dickon had said.
"Sev, I don't think you need to worry about not being a good dad. You did fine with Jess and you seem to be doing well with Arthur. Trust your instincts, lad. You're nothing like Tobias. Remember that."
Severus met Dickon's eyes, and saw that the Astronomy professor meant every word. Dickon's unswerving confidence in him made him think it was possible for him to not repeat the mistakes of the past, and lay to rest the specters of fear and pain and violence that had haunted him since the evening Lily had announced she was carrying his child. He took a deep breath, let it out, and gave his surrogate father a small smile. "Thank you, Dad. Anybody ever suggest you should become a counselor?"
Dickon laughed. "Ah, Merlin, Severus! I'm just a simple Yorkshireman who likes to stargaze and who has a bit of common sense."
"That's worth more than a fancy degree, Dad." Severus told the elder man. Then he changed the subject. "You know those stories you tell Jess, the ones about Stargirl?"
"Aye, what of them?"
"I think you should write them down and make them into a book and publish it. I think it would be a good way to get children interested in astronomy, among other things, at an early age. If you could illustrate it, that would be even better. You could call it The Adventures of Stargirl."
Dickon looked astonished. "You think my silly little tales are that good?"
"Yes. They're interesting, fun, and informative. Jess certainly loves them, and there's no worse critic than a three-year-old who's bored to death. I even like them, and Lily agrees with me. You deserve to be in print."
"Really? I . . . I never thought about it that way before. I started making them up so I could help Jess understand the stars and some of what I do as an astronomer and teacher." Dickon looked thoughtful. "I suppose I could make a kind of anthology or something. I wonder if it would sell?"
"Publish it and find out," Severus urged. "I'd buy a copy. And so would the staff at Hogwarts. You have a gift for storytelling, Dad. Trust me on that."
Dickon looked pleased as punch. "Thank you, Sev. I'll have to contact one of my old classmates, he owns a publishing business. I'll see what he says once I submit my first draft."
"I'm sure he'll like it." Severus assured him, then he picked up his cup of tea and reheated it with a Warming charm. As he drank, he wondered how Lily's day out with the girls had gone. He hoped it had gone well, she had been looking forward to it for days now. He was meeting her at the cottage for dinner, since he wasn't required to eat with the staff every night, and he was sure she would tell him everything then.
He wished this bloody war was over, and vowed to find Voldemort's weakness or die trying, for the last thing he wanted was for his unborn child to grow up in war's shadow.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait inbetween updates, but RL's been kicking my ass lately. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me, I think this story will be my longest ff ever!
About the unknown DE, all of your guesses were good, you'll learn who it is in a future chapter, so you all get House Points and butterbeer and chocolate frogs. Here they are!
Thanks to Sapphire Warrioress for giving me the idea about Dickon publishing the Stargirl stories, that was brilliant! You should check out her Harry Potter works, you can find her in my Favorite Authors list.
I also have a request to make. If you know of any names for Sev and Lily's baby, please give me some ideas. You can pick one boy's name (first and middle) and one girl's name. I'm having a hard time coming up with anything. Just put your suggestions in your review, thanks!