It's been two days since Kenny first showed up at my house. I'm handling it all better than expected. At least I haven't cried since the first night... The days flew past pretty quickly. It's the weekend now and I don't have to work for two days. I was kinda worried about leaving Kenny alone at home when I was at work these past days but it actually worked out. All he did was basically watching TV and stealing my food. I don't really mind that. As long as he's happy I guess...

There's still something that's off. Something that's wrong. Why is Kenny acting so strangely? He's so carefree and calm... He's always been a bit like that but... This is much more extreme than the old Kenny...

It's early Saturday morning and Kenny has occupied the bathroom for the last 45 minutes. I knock on the bathroom door.

"Kenny... You've been in there for quite a long while... I thought you said you were only gonna take a shower...?" I ask.

"I haven't done anything else!" He tells me. Still that strange tone in his voice... "I'm drying off right now!"

"Sure. Would you hurry up a little?" I say.

"Of course! I'll be done in 5 minutes!" He answers.

So I wait 5 minutes. And then I wait 10 minutes. I knock on the door again.

"Kenny... You said 5 minutes..." I tell him while feeling extremely annoyed... I kinda need to pee here...

No answer. I knock once again but a bit louder. Still no answer.

"KENNY!" I practically yell... "I know you can hear me... Open the fucking door." What the hell is he doing?

I can hear him move and he's making some strange, small sounds but he doesn't say a single real word.

"Kenny. I'm opening the door." I say with a determined voice.

For a moment I search for an item that I could use to pick the lock with. I find an old hair clip that was once Wendy's. I don't really know why it's laying around here but whatever. It'll work for this type of thing. I pick the lock easily and the door flungs open.

I gasp and stare at the sight in front of me in horror. Kenny is laying there, spread out on the floor, basically completely naked, but thankfully with a towel wrapped around his waist, covering his "private area". He might've fallen asleep or he might've passed out. I don't know.

Both of his naked arms have strange marks on them. There's strange scars and dots and bruises all over. Most of them look pretty horrible and must've somehow gotten infected. There's one that looks really fresh. Some strange liquid, combined with blood is oozing out of that one. What are those from?

On the floor next to Kenny lays two syringes. Neither of them has any content left in them.

I can feel my eyes starting to water. So this is why. This is why Kenny hasn't been acting like himself. How didn't I realize it before? How didn't I see the signs? Is this why Kenny left town? I wonder...

I sit down on the floor next to him and I place his head in my lap. I'm not wearing any pants at the moment, just a pair of boxers, so I can feel his wet hair against my bare thighs. Tears start to spill from my eyes and I sob loudly. I look at the unconscious boy in front of me and the tears that fall hits his peaceful looking face.

After a few moments his eyes flutter open. One of his shaky hands reaches out and cups my cheek.

"Stan..." He says quietly.

"Kenny." I say in a surprisingly firm voice. "Is this what you've been doing while you were gone?"

"Yeah... Pretty much..." He says and then he smiles. No Kenny. This is nothing to smile about. This is just horrible. Don't you realize? Don't you realize what you're doing to yourself?

"What exactly are you on?" I ask, and I sound a bit harsher than intended. Kenny is still smiling and it's driving me insane.

"Heroin." He says. "I'm doing heroin."

"You've been getting high on heroin in my bathroom for the past 2 days?" I ask, feeling slightly angry, but more betrayed.

"Yeah. I have." He says, and then he sits up himself. When he's gone from my lap I stand up. Kenny. No. You can't be fucking serious. What the hell? No. More tears fall down my face. Damn it. If I had just been by his side more when we were younger, then maybe it wouldn't have turned out like this. When I developed feelings for him I think I started to distance myself. I pushed him away. If I hadn't done that, then maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe he would've come to me instead of disappearing. I still don't know what made him leave so many years ago. What made him do this? What is he running from?

"Why?!" I ask, suddenly feeling angry. "Why the fuck would you do this?!" I'm almost yelling at this point. Kenny blinks at me and his eyes look a little sad.

"Because it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Heroin was an easy way out. An escape." Kenny says and stands up. He looks a bit less content with everything now. He's almost sad. Just almost. "It was convenient and it was nice. Heroin is nice."

"Heroin is nice? Is that your fucking reason?!" I ask.

"Yeah. I guess so..." He tells me and he smiles a little. That smile looks really fake. Tears are still escaping my eyes and I don't really know what's going on.

"Bullshit. There's a lot more to it. You're hiding things. You're not telling me what happened." I say, and my heart aches. Kenny has been messing himself up so badly for so long now... I wasn't there. I wasn't there when he needed me. "What exactly happened so many years ago? Why did you leave? Be honest Kenny." He looks at me with those sad eyes before he speaks.

"Do you want to know? Do you really want to know everything?" He asks. "Do you really want me to tell you?"

"Yes." I say. "Don't leave anything out. You owe me this much." He nods.

"You know... Things started off good with Craig. It wasn't perfect, of course it wasn't, but I think that we had our fun times. Yet soon we ended up in a routine. We fucked, we drank, we smoked and sometimes we did some drugs. I tried whatever Craig got his hands on really. Many drugs get you all weird and trippy, or completely messed up in the head. But when we tried heroin it wasn't like that. Heroin is more mellow and it's calming instead I guess. You just kinda feel content and at peace... You don't get as many weird side effects either." He takes a small break and struggles to find the right words.

"At first I just kinda tried it once and that was that... I didn't feel the need to continue. But then... Things changed..."

"Changed how?" I ask.

"I'm getting to that... Things started to get a little rocky between me and Craig... I didn't notice until it was too late. Craig dumped me. It wasn't a nice breakup really... Craig told me things like... That he never loved me, and that he only was with me cause he liked to fuck me..." Kenny's eyes are almost watering at this point. It hurts so much seeing him like this. This huge mess that is Kenny McCormick, I still love him so much... I can't believe how anyone would ever say that. Why would anyone ever hurt him like this? And why Craig?

"He told me that he had been cheating on me. For several months. Almost since the beginning... He had been fucking Clyde behind my back all along." Kenny is in fact crying for real now and tears escape his eyes. I take a step closer to him and I wrap my arms around him. I hug him close and he rests his head on my shoulder. "Thank you Stan..." He mumbles before he continues his story.

"I couldn't take it. I really couldn't. It was all too much and in a weak moment I resorted to heroin... I was high and stupid when I came up with an idea. I decided to run away from home. I took a bus and ended up in Boulder... I kinda just tried to hide and I waited it out until people stopped looking for me. I continued doing heroin and it soon started to form an addiction. The tolerance built up fast and I was running out of money to buy more. I needed it. More than anything. I hated the world and everyone in it. Heroin was the only thing that I actually liked. Heroin was all I cared about. I desperately needed the money and I resorted to prostitution. Whenever the cops would start to get a little nosy I would just leave town. And before I knew it I ended up back here again... I barely realized that 6 years had past... Cause I'd been standing still for so long and the days just kinda melted together..."

"Kenny... You can't do this anymore... Don't you see what you're doing? You're breaking yourself... You're just making it worse by hiding and suppressing it with drugs... You have to quit..." I tell him gently while hugging him close. He's still crying in my arms.

"I don't care. I don't want to, Stan... It feels nice and I like it. You can't just come here and tell me to quit after 6 fucking years..." His voice sounds shaky and fragile. I put my hands on his shoulders and I push him away a bit so I can look him in the eyes.

"Kenny. I won't let you do this anymore. Please. Don't make it harder than it has to be." I say. God damn it. I love him. This mess... I'll fix it. I'll fix him. I have to. I can't let this go on. He's been hurting for 6 years now. It needs to stop. I need to stop it. I love you Kenny.

"I don't really see the point... But if it means so much to you then I'll try." Kenny tells me and smiles a little through the tears. "It won't be easy but... Just support me as best as you can and it'll be alright." He says gently. I nod at that.

"I'll always support you Kenny." I answer and I smile back at him. "I'm here whenever you need me."

I want to kiss him then and there on the spot. But I don't. Because I'm scared of rejection. I hold myself back... Cause he can't possibly love me... And he doesn't need to think about that kind of things... Not when he himself is so messed up. But he does look very irresistible right now... All of his beautiful skin being exposed like this...