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CHAPTER 6:

Three months and five days. He left three months and five days ago and as usual, I am celebrating our wedding anniversary alone. I am not working today so I decided to spend the day with Olaya at the fair. She is so excited and it allows me to not think of Tobias.

It has been seven years... I can't believe it had already been seven years. We were so in love and happy, and that's not how I imagined my future. Of course I imagined a child-maybe two- but I also thought Tobias would be with me and not on the other side of this planet probably fighting for his survival. It's killing me not to have news about him.

"Mommy! Let's go!"

I finish to back my bag with water and something to eat while she runs in the kitchen, her shoes in hand.

"We are leaving, honey! Come here so I can tie your shoes."

I help her and then take her vest because it could be cold today. I take my car keys and we leave.

As soon as I park the car, Olaya doesn't stop smiling and trying to unclip her seatbelt. I go out the car then help her too. I take her hand so she doesn't go away running. I put my bag on my shoulder.

"Quick mommy!"

I chuckle but begin to walk. We enter the fair and her eyes light up.

"Where do you want to go first?" I ask her.

She looks around with wide eyes, a smile plastered on her face.

"The carou..carou..." She still struggles to say this.

"The carousel?"

She nods and drags me to it. I let her climb alone on the little duck. She smiles at me and even more when the ride begins. I take a couple pictures. At the end, she moves to the swan. I love to watch her this happy. After a couple of more rides, she decides to go somewhere else so she decides on the trampoline.

I watch her jumping and laughing and I sit down on a bench. I look around, there are a lot of parents watching their children. There are mothers...and fathers. I look down at my wedding ring. My eyes then looks around for the ferris wheel.

I remember that day almost eight years ago. We were only 19.

"Tobias, where are we going?" I whine.

I try to remove the blindfold but he takes my hands in his.

"We're almost there, babe.I promise"

I begin to pout but he kisses me. I smile and he begins to walk again.

"But I thought we were going to the restaurant, and something tells me it's not where we are going right now".

"I can't hide anything from you"

We walk one more minute then he stops.

"You can take it off" He says.

I do what he says. I open my eyes to see we are in front of the ferris wheel. He knows I love this place but I know that he hates it because of the puts his arms around my waist and across my stomach.

"Do you want to get in?"

I turn around to look at him in the eye.

"But you hate it"

"Yeah, I knew that but I want to make you happy, every day of your life" He whispers in my ear.

"Let's go then"

We wait for our turn but Tobias is nervous. I know he is scared to climb in it.

"It will be all right Tobias. If you're scared, we don't have to go"

"I'll do anything for you"

I kiss him but now is our turn. We sit for a while and when we are at the top, it stops. I look at the view in front of me and watch as the sun sets. That's where he kissed me for the first time. I feel him puts his head on my right shoulder while his hands takes my left one. He rubs circles on it and kisses my cheek.

"You know you are beautiful?"

"That's what you keep saying" I answer while he takes me in his arms from behind.

"Well, you are. You are perfect. You are the only one for me and I hope you know this. It only has been a year but I feel like has been decades. And I hope we'll still be together in a lot more decades. I already know you are my everything. I love you so much."

I turn around in his arms, crying at his words. I never thought you could fall in love so quickly and so deeply and so young too.

"I love you too"

"Don't interrupt please, it's hard enough"

I nod, a little nervous.

"As I said, I love you with all my heart so I don't care if we are 19 or 25, we are old enough to be in love and show it to the world. So Tris, will you marry me?" He asks, a knee on the floor.

I look at him, mouth hanging open. I try to say something but my thoughts are fighting in my head.

I can't believe he did this. I can't believe he loves me enough to ask me that. I love him, that is not the question but I am young. We are both young. What will my parents say?

"I-I-I.."

His face falls but he doesn't give up.

"Tris, I know we're young and that your father will kill me but I can't live without you. If you want to say no, I totally understand but I can't bear to loose you. So you can say no but I don't want it to be the end of us. I'll wait my entire life for you."

Is he crazy? How could I say no to this handsome face? How could I say no to the man I love? I look down at him with a smile and tears in my eyes.

"I could never say no to you, Tobias. I love you."

"So it's a yes?"

"Of course it is, you idiot. I will marry you."

He gets up and takes me in his arms. He kisses me all over the face before his lips are on mine.

"I was so scared, you don't even realize."

"You didn't have to be scared" I say, a hand on his cheek.

"I was scared of loosing you" He admits.

"You don't have to think that. Ever. Because I love you and always will."

We stay in each others arms until we are on the ground again and can leave to the restaurant to celebrate our engagement.

I shake my head to think of something else. I look back at the trampoline to see Olaya talking to a little boy who seems to be 5. He has black hair and he smiling brightly like Olaya. A woman sits next to me.

"Hello, I am Kate Greyson. I think your daughter made friend with my son" She explains while pointing to our kids.

"Hello. So it seems...My name is Tris Eaton. Her name is Olaya."

"His name is Tom. My husband should come, he just bought something to eat."

I smile. I don't know what to say when women talk about their husband. I see she quickly looks at my hands to see if I wear a ring.

"Where is your husband?" She kindly asks.

"He is working."

A tall man join us with two bottles of water in his hand.

"Tris, this is my husband Alex. Alex this Tris Eaton, Olaya's mother, the little girl playing with Tom."

"Nice to meet you" He says while shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you too"

"You were saying Tris? Where does your husband work?" Kate asks.

"He is in Afghanistan, he is in the army." I whisper almost shyly.

"Wait...you said your name is Eaton. That's right?" Her husband asks.

"Yes."

"Is his name Tobias?"

I look at him, surprised he knows his name so I nod slowly.

"I heard about him. I have a friend in the army and in Afghanistan and he told me about a certain hero named Tobias Eaton. You must be proud of him."

"I am very proud of him but it's complicated not to have him at home. She misses him." I tell them looking at Olaya and Tom jumping together and laughing.

"We totally understand" Kate assures me, taking her husband's hand.

"I hope you don't mind but I think we are going to go with Olaya. It's a special day for her and I." I say.

"Of course not. But I think we should try to plan something for the children, they seem to get along really well"

We exchange our number so I can call them if Olaya wants to play with Tom.

"Olaya, are you ready to go?" I ask her when she arrives with Tom.

She nods but before leaving she hugs the little boy with a smile. I take her hand and we leave with a wave.

"Well, it seems you had fun with Tom" I say.

"Yes"

"So where do you want to go now?"

She smiles and pulls at my hand to walk faster.

She spent her entire day, running from one thing to another. She never stopped and I must admit I am not surprised she fell asleep as soon as I fastenned her seatbelt in the car.

I drive with a little music since I know it wouldn't wake her. She is like her father, she could sleep during a storm.

I find myself once again thinking of Tobias. Even when he left me, betrayed me and broke our little girl's heart, I can't be furious. He does what feel right to him and I am just too selfish to see it. He never wanted to hurt us.

I realize I didn't paid attention and when I focus again on the road, I see a fawn staring at the car. I immediately turn the steering wheel and steps on the brake pedal. The car doesn't stop and I would have it the animal if it hadn't run in the forest. Olaya is crying from the sudden movement and I am breathing heavily. I unfasten my belt and get out the car. I hurry to Olaya and take her in my arm.

"Oh my God. Are you okay, honey?" I ask her, crying too.

She nods but hides her head in my hair.

"Are you hurt?"

She points her collarbone so I push her clothe aside. I see a big bruise and I feel bad. It's my fault. I hurt my baby. I almost lost her because I wasn't paying attention. How could I have been so stupid?

"It's all right, honey. We are all right. But we still have to go home. It won't take long I promise."

She nods her little head but doesn't let me go. I sit her in her carseat but her eyes water.

"No, no, no, don't cry. I promise it won't happen again. I love you"

I kiss her head and she lets me go. Before I turn on the motor, I look in the mirror to see her then take a deep breath. I turn off the music and drive. I don't think I've ever been so focused on the road. I pay attention to every details and I only relax when I park the car in the drive. I put my forehead on the steering wheel. I almost lost her, then only person who is keeping me sane right now.

When we enter the house, I don't let her walk. I have to know she is safe in my arms. We ate dinner at the fair so I only have to put her to bed. I help her in her pajama then I lay her on the bed. I sit next to her as she takes her necklace in her tiny hand. I tuck her up in her bed.

"I hope you still had a good day"

She smiles and nods her head.

"Yes, I had fun. Thank you mommy"

I kiss her head and she kisses my cheek.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"See Baby and Auntie Shauna"

"You want to see Mayane?" I ask smiling.

"Yes"

"All right, I will call Uncle Zeke later. Goodnight Honey."

"Goodnight mommy"

I kiss her head again then leave her room.

I sit on the couch and dial Zeke's number.

"Trissy, how can I help you?"

"Zeke, what did I say about this nickname?"

"That it's totally immature and that you hate it. Why?"

I can almost hear his smile as he speaks.

"Whatever. How is Shauna?"

"Really tired but she is fine. We are so happy to have our little angel."

"I know how she feels. Well, if she isn't so tired I wanted to pass by tomorrow. Olaya wants to see Mayane."

"Of course you can. Shauna will be happy to see her."

"All right. So I see you tomorrow"

"Night Trissy"

"Night Zekey"

I hear him snort then he hangs up. I smile at myself because I know that now he won't call me 'Trissy' again. I look at my phone and see the picture I put as a background. It's a picture of Tobias carrying Olaya in his arms. She has his military cap on the head and they are both smiling. I took this picture when he came back 6 months back ago.

How can I be angry when I see his face? He is so handsome and those eyes... I fell for him the first time I saw him on this plane. He listenned to me babbling and he never broke eye contact. Now I know that the look he has in his eyes that day was a look of admiration because he still has it. Or had it, before he left.

I know I have no right to be angry with him but I am. I don't even know why. Maybe it's the only way I found to not loose my mind. I focus on one feeling and shut everything else out of my mind. I know I love him but I know that if I only think of that, I'll break down and I can't do that to Olaya. She had suffered enough. Her father hurt her, and I can't do that to her.

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