I soon fall asleep and before I know it morning has arrived. I wake up when the sunlight seeps in through the window and hits my face. I immediately realize that I have a massive hangover and my head is throbbing painfully. I sit up tiredly and I grab my phone from the nightstand to check what time it is. It's 07.12.
I look towards the other side of the bed where Kenny is supposed to be laying. But he isn't there. That's strange... Kenny is never awake this early?
"Kenny?" I say loudly. No answer. Strange... What's he doing? Did he go to the bathroom and fall asleep there again or something?
I stand up. What the hell? I can feel a sharp pain in my butt region. Why does my ass hurt? It takes me a few seconds before I remember last night. Oh...
A swarm of emotions hits me and my eyes start to water a little.
"Kenny?!" I say a little louder, with my fragile voice. Still no answer.
I slowly start to walk, or more like limp. I grab my discarded boxers off the floor and I struggle to put them on. I'm shaky and I'm crying. I feel like utter shit.
What the hell is Kenny doing?
I note that his clothes aren't laying on the floor anymore. Huh... He must've picked them up.
I limp carefully to the kitchen. It still hurts like fuck. On my way there I notice that the dark red blanket that's usually on my couch is missing. Kenny must've moved it somewhere else...
Kenny is not in the kitchen at least. I kind of want a glass of orange juice or something...
When I open the fridge I notice that a lot of items in there are missing. Including my orange juice... Seems like Kenny ate a rather large snack in the middle of the night? What the hell?
I then proceed to go to the bathroom. The door opens with a creek. There's a wet towel on the floor. Kenny must've taken a shower... But he isn't here? Where could he have gone? He's not in the apartment? Where would he have gone then?
I silently pick up the towel, and when I do something falls from it onto the floor. I stare at the object.
No. No. No. No. No. He said that he got rid of every last one! No. He couldn't have! Not after all of this.
"KENNY!" I yell, as loud as I can, yet no one answers...
No. He couldn't have...?
I stare at the syringe on the floor in front of me.
Tears form in my eyes and I fall down to my knees. No. Kenny wouldn't. He can't have. I can feel the tears spilling down my cheeks and I sob loudly. Kenny betrayed me. Kenny came back into my life just to toy with my feelings, and just to leave again.
Kenny appeared that night in the rain. I took him in, and I fell again. I remembered how much I loved him and it all came back tenfold. I supported him, tried to help him. Then I found out that he was doing heroin. I tried to make him quit, and he reluctantly complied. I did everything to make him stay away from it. I started a sexual relationship with him, just because he wanted to stop thinking about heroin, even though I knew it'd mess me up.
I treated Kenny like a proper guest in my home the entire time. I cooked for him, did his laundry, cleaned, I did everything for him. Frankly, I was his little bitch.
Time passed and I thought it'd be a good idea to eat some pizza and get wasted together. It clearly wasn't. We ended up a little too close, and I just spilled it. I told him that I love him. He kissed me, and then... He told me that he loved me too. I thought it meant something. We then had sex, but in a different way from how we usually did. I bottomed. For the first time ever... I thought it meant something. But when I told him again, that I love him, he didn't say it back. It never meant a thing to him, did it?
"TRAITOR! I TRY TO HELP YOU AND THIS IS THE THANKS?!" I yell desperately. "I FUCKING LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS HELP YOU! BUT YOU JUST TOYED WITH MY FEELINGS... YOU JUST USED ME... KENNY!" I continue yelling and then I just sob. I lay in a fetal position in just my underwear, on the bathroom floor, hugging the wet towel that Kenny left behind. I've never felt this low before in my entire life. I was tricked. He lied to me and told me he would quit heroin forever. He lied to me and told me that he loved me. All along he just played with my heart...
It takes a while... Maybe several hours, before I actually stand up and do something. I'm still such a mess, and I'm completely heartbroken, but I get up. And I limp over to the bed. Then I just fall back on it. I grab a pillow, the pillow Kenny used and I just hug it close to me. I inhale the scent of it. It smells kinda fruity, like my cheap shampoo... But it also smells a little different. It's a scent that's only Kenny's.
I sob even more violently as I hug the pillow closer to me. I grab my phone from the nightstand and I dial the number of the one person that I can actually talk to. When I hear that the phone is picked up I don't wait for him to say anything.
"Kyle. I broke the promise..." I say in a weak, shaky voice.
Kenny never really did love me. All he wanted was to fuck me up. He just wanted to screw me over and then go back to his precious heroin. And it fucking worked. I'm not the same. After Kenny left me I developed trust issues. I think the only person I actually trust anymore is Kyle.
At first I wait. At first I have this weird expectation that Kenny will soon come back, with a perfectly logical explanation to why he left, and that he will actually love me like he said he did. So I wait. For about a year, I just wait. After that year is over I become depressed. It lasts for two more years. Kyle tries his best to help me but it doesn't work. After those years pass too, I get angry, really fucking angry at Kenny, and that lasts for another two more. And then after that I just start to feel numb. Completely numb to any feeling that I harbored for Kenny McCormick.
It's been 10 years since he left for the second time. I'm 31 now and I do still love him. But I can't let it rule my life anymore. I've wasted enough time on that piece of white trash that's called Kenny McCormick. I'm way beyond the point of caring now.
I'm not doing great in life as of now, but I wouldn't say that I'm doing bad either. I'm alright. I've gotten a few promotions at work so now I'm actually the boss of some people. I also got a new apartment. It's bigger, and it actually has two bedrooms. even though only one is being used regularly. The second one gets occupied by Kyle, whenever he decides to come visit. Tweek came back to South Park after he finished studying, but Kyle still lives in Boulder, with his now soon to be wife. I've met her a few times and she's really nice, and also very beautiful. She seems to be good for Kyle so I have no objections. I'm gonna be Kyle's best man at the wedding. I still can't quite believe it.
Cartman and Wendy are married and even have kids now. 3 of them. Two daughters and a son. Both the son and the oldest daughter look extremely similar to Wendy, but the poor second daughter takes after her father... She's chubby and her face looks identical to Cartman's when he was a kid. I feel so sorry for her...
It's so strange to think that Cartman and Wendy have kids. It's surreal.
They've all gotten so far... But I...
I am going nowhere I guess. My own love life hasn't been the greatest after everything that happened with Kenny. But there's actually something going on between me and Craig Tucker at the moment. It's more just like a sexual thing than anything romantic... I think a dead snail would be more romantic than Craig to be honest. Stuff didn't work out with him and Clyde and since then we've had this thing going on. It's at least something. It's better than being completely alone...
I'm still not satisfied with my life but... It's alright. It could've ended up a lot worse after all.
One day when I least expect it, I get a strange phone call from Kyle.
"I just talked to Ike!" Kyle exclaims. "He saw Kenny behind the elementary school building just now! He was apparently pretty soaked because of the rain. Ike described it as if he looked like a drenched cat or something..."
"So?" Is all that I say, in a very monotone way. Huh... So he's back? Why?
"I just thought you should know." Kyle tells me carefully. "In case you want to confront Kenny about anything..."
"Thanks. But I'm not going." I tell him, and I almost sound sad. For the first time in long I actually feel sad thinking about Kenny McCormick again.
"How come?" Kyle asks, sounding both curious and worried.
"It'd just be a repeat of last time. I don't want to make that mistake a second time." I say, now back to the monotone voice.
"Okay. I understand..." Kyle says gently. "I just thought you should know, in case you wanted it to end differently..."
"It's fine like this. I'm finally okay again, after all that happened. I don't want to ruin that. I won't let him screw me over again." I tell him, and I almost smile. The way life is, isn't perfect. But at least it's alright now. Without Kenny McCormick. Even though I love him, I don't need him to be happy. I can be happy all by myself.
Kyle and I say our goodbyes and then we hang up. I grab my red, old, worn out umbrella and I walk out into the rain. I can almost see a faint orange color in the corner of my eye. I ignore it.
It's a lovely night and the rain makes small, very familiar sounds as it hits the pavement. There's one thing that hasn't changed over the years. I still love the rain. Tonight I decide to take a route that leads to the other side of town, as far away from the school as possible. I wouldn't wanna risk ruining this night...
I walk along in the rain, just like old times. I get this nostalgic feeling as I walk. It feels kinda pleasant, even if it's still unpleasant, remembering the past. When I walked in the rain many years ago, and found an old friend in an orange jacket, in need of help. I have the chance to meet him again, but I don't take that chance. I don't go. I don't need it. But maybe he needs it? If that's possible...
Yes. Tonight really is a lovely night.