A/N: This troll's THIRD account has been deleted… She's still bashing me in chapters, which is hilarious. Do not fear! For I search everyday, making sure I save her shit on my computer.
AM: SRRY I COUNT UPDATE SOONER! (No, no, take your time.) MI PARNTS WERE UPSET THT I GOTS SUMMA SKOOL! (Hm, I wonder why you of all people got summer school.) IM NUT GOIN 2 TELL U WUT CLAS I FAILL (We all know the class was English) THT WOOD B ENGRATING! (Engrating? Oh of course, Engrating! What engrating weather we have!) PS. I GOTTA FREND (You have friends?) (HR NAMEE IZ SARAH) 2 HELP ME W/ DUS CHAPTA! (Looks like she's an underachiever like you) SO STUP COMPLANIN! (No thanks.) THERE I HAVEA BETAT REEDER HAPPY?! (Not a good one, obviously)
NOT: THIS HASS VOILENCE (And damage to the brain)
"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS lets kill them!' hissed voldomort. (GASP!)
I started to cry. (You better cry.) I wasd upset that they betrayed us (THEY. WERE. NEVER. ON. YOUR. SIDE! Dumbass Sue.) and that I was aboot to die. (YAY!)
"BWAGAGAHAHA!" (I shall go around school laughing like that tomorrow) laughed bekkatrix. (Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids.) As voldomort yelled. "ACABRA KEFVRA!" (FRIED CHICKEN! I shouted, and it was there!) a light appeared from voldomorts wand. I squinted my eyes and prepeared for it to hit me. (YAY!) But the light NEVER hitted me. (WHY DIDN'T IT!)
I opened my eyes to see RENUS LUPPIN standing in front of me. (YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU DID NOT JUST KILL REMUS TO SAVE 'CARA'!) His chest was a drak crimsun color. (NO NO NO!) Blood was gushing out of his taterd t-shit. (Remus wears shit as well as eats it? Gryffindor wins house cup!)
"Why?" I croaked. (That's what I'm asking! Why couldn't it have been you?) I felt my perfect freshwagter eyes water (and explode). Y did he have to sacrifice himself for me!? (I know!) I DINT DESERVE THIS! (No, you DID deserve this. REMUS didn't deserve it.) His body then went limp. I bent over his body & looked in his glassy eyes. (Glassy eyes?) I soberd. (What? Have too many Firewiskeys?)
I too out my wanf to fight (I always carry my wanf in my back pocket. You should try it. Your buttocks may be blown off. Trust me; it's a lot of fun!) BUT VOLDOMOREE BEKKATRICKS SNAPE AND VULE HAD FLEED! (GASP!)
Then freed jorge & Harry ran into the room. (Yeah, stalkers.)
"WHAT HAPPEDN" screeched Hayr. Then they saw Rennus. (GASP) I knew this because they all gasped. (GASP!)
"LUPIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP" they screesches. (LUPIPPPPPP!) But he didnt moove.
"IK what we can do!" suggested fredd. (What?)
"Wut" we all said. Fred took out his wand and muttered something under his breathe. (I can't breathe and talk at the same time… YOU HAVE A TALENT FRED! You must go on Britain's Got Talent, and talk everyone to death.)
"LIFEYDABERA!" (Lifeydabera! That sounds like rapper. Lifeydabera in the house, yo!) was what fred muttered.
We all gaasped. (GASP!) Renus was completely healed. (WOAH, WOAH! As much as I want Remus alive as he is my favorite character, no magic can bring a person back from the dead.) And he started tio move.
"UR ALIVE!" (YAY, REMMY!) We all shouted (accept fred) (Why? Does Fred hate Remus or something?) with glee. (nut the tv shoow I hat tht show!) (What does Glee have to do with anything?)
"Yes yes" said renns. We were so happy. (I am happy he's alive, but depressed Cara isn't dead.)
The next day I decidead to tell dumkedore. (I've been working on the Dumkedore! All the Dumkedore day!) So now I was in his office talkin 2 him.
"Soo let me get this strait. Snaap is workin for voldomore and bekkatricks 2. they both were in the skool." I nodded. (Do the head bob with me everyone, do the head bob!) "they were descried as rron and luna" I again nodded. I stoof there nervously (I hate stoofing. I mean, it hurts your legs badly then, you have to play the harmonica to heal it! Stupid stoof disease!) wondering if he would believe my story as absurd as it sounded. (You are absurd!)
"As much as I LUVVVVVVVVVVVVV snape (Oh, Merlin, here we go again.) I believe you" he smiled. I jumped in joy.
"Wut are we going to do about voldomort raising to power?" (I don't know, maybe die and let Harry defeat him?) I asked. He scratched his chin in yought. (Yogurt?) "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" he said.
"I tink that we should…" (Thinking must be hard for you)
I GOTS U HAHAHAHAHAH I NEW U WERE ALL ECITED (I'm absolutely thrilled…) ON WUT HE WUZ GOIN 2 SAY! DUMBU FINALLY BELIES HER CAN U BELIEVS ITZ! (No.) HAHAH WAIT TIL NXT TIME! (Do I have to have a next time?) AND PS. GLEE IS SOO STUPET BECUZ THE DUDE FORM AVPMK IS IN IT! (YOU DID NOT JUST DISS DAREN CRISS!) & I CANTTNT STAND HOW THEY SING ALL DA DAM TIM! (I CAN'T STAND THAT YOU WRITE ALL THE DAMN TIME!) IF U FLAMMME (BAD REVEIW 4 U RETARDED PPL) (Like yourself?) DEN UR DUM CUZ U DUNT NO GOOOOOD RITIN! (I have better writing than you.)
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