Next week, Yamamoto's desk was covered in reports of unusual activity and persons. Normally he would groan and have one of his seated officers deal with it but they have proved to be extremely entertaining to read. A rough compilation of Seireitei's strangeness was published on the magazine under fake names after some editing was done. The rough compilation of reports is as follows.
Squad 2 report from Soi Fon
It seems that the current division is rife with a great deal of strangeness. The first of which is my Liuetenant. Omaeda is possibly the least helpful Lieutenant I know. He rarely ever shows up in the office during daylight hours and does the paperwork on a monthly schedule, meaning that the first of every month I get 50 pounds of the stuff dropped on my desk! Why is he my lieutenant? The Stealth force are supposed to be stealthy! He stands out like an elephant in the room! Half the time he doesn't listen to what I am saying!
However it seems that due to recent events he has become more productive. He can actually get large amounts of paperwork and training done while entertaining a small and very curious girl. He is markedly less arrogant and cowardly then he was before, managing a great deal of campaigns with out my prompting. I would like to request that he be investigated. We do not need a doppleganger stealing valuable information...
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
Yamamoto chuckled slightly at that. Shihoin left her own lieutenant with one last order to be carried out, to ensure her student was taken care of. The Omaedas have more or less kept that end of the bargain and tried to keep Soi Fon from getting too overworked by using their odd brand of slapstick humor. The level of success however, is highly debatable given that they rarely met minor deadlines and their abrasive personality had a tendancy to irritate people a great deal. They were however, exceptionally good at the art of misdirection. The current captain's perception of them was proof of that, though it seemed like Soi Fon was becoming much more perceptive to the human element.
...There is also the issue regarding the child, whose presence has no doubt circulated through Seireitei despite my best efforts. The girl shows signs of psychological conditioning. Fear of wide open spaces, for instance, along with other things such as fainting when interrogated, showing signs of a melt down when completely surrounded by strangers, and suicidal tendancies when trapped. It is a good thing that the torture and interrogation department had a good healer on hand, the girl would have clawed out her own throat and bled to death otherwise. She also seems to have a minor speech impediment. I am currently attempting to minimize these things since she seems to have attached herself to me. She says I look like her care taker which means she may have been honed, if not raised by someone who was cast from the Fon family. Most of the cast offs do not live in Seireitei...
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
He wasn't concerned about investigating Omaeda for treason. He was more concerned about the little girl that the young female captain had taken to. She had become very fond of the girl. It had been clear as day since the first time she had brought her asleep into the captains meeting and the most recent meeting where she did not rebuke the child for interrupting. Personally, he had no problem with this. He was fine with Kenpachi bringing a young Yachiru with him to meetings, and she was a very loud baby. He would be fine if Soi Fon started bringing the little one who was much more quiet.
I would also like permission to take care of her while we look her parents or guardians. If we are unable to find them, I would like to request custody of the child. Nakenashi is agile, fast, and wiry strong for her age. She would make for an excellent addition to the Onmitsukido if not the gotei 13 as a whole. I would hate to see this kind of potential wasted in some place like the eleventh.
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
Except the girl was at least part quincy.
From his experience, quincy were like mice. They never showed up alone, it was always in groups. He should've known something like this would happen after the quincy ryoka showed himself.
At first many people thought that the girl was Soi Fon's illegitimate child but those rumors were quickly dispelled. She has never once shown any signs of being pregnant. It would have been very obvious due to her small frame. Now the current belief is that the girl was a bastard child of one of the stealth force members, but nobody knew who.
If he didn't know any better he would've been fooled. Most children her age were at least vaguely capable of signing their own name, Kisuke Urahara not included.
That man had butchered his own name so many times that nobody knew how it was supposed to be written anymore.
She refuses to give any names, only referring to herself as Nakenashi. She also has much better skills in shurikenjutsu then a toddler has any right to be. I have never seen her cut herself with live weapons. In fact, I do not know how she got into the barracks and as far as I can tell, neither does she. In fact, she has ended up in high security areas so often that my officers have all but given up on stopping her and focus on damage control and redirection instead. Telling her to go and dance by herself is currently the best way to redirect her attention. She practices ribbon dancing with great enthusiasm for many hours each day so long as she has access to an empty room. She's quite talented for her age too. Agile, fast, and wiry strong. She would make for an excellent addition to the Onmitsukido if not the gotei 13 as a whole.
In the event that she is an agent planted by the shadow Force, I have had Nakenashi checked for bugs in every conceivable location. I have even shipped some of her blood to Unohana to make sure there aren't any biological means of observation. I would send some to the Twelfth divisioin, but it worry what they might do with it since the girl has an unusual reiatsu as well. Instead of radiating from a source, like a normal shinigami it diffuses with the air and surrounding reiatsu from everything else melting everything together so that it was difficult to distinguish anything. I have heightened security just incase the Nakenashi was planted to make future forays into the barracks easier for someone else. Unohana remarked that it was very similar to that of a Quincy in the way it mixes with everything, but it scans like a shinigami.
WMWMWMWMWMWMW
However I would like to add that she is also illiterate and if she really is a high caliber spy, changing all the signs to a code of some sort will throw her off.
~Last night~ squad 2
"I trust that this is does not reveal too much?" Inquired Soi Fon. An ordinary person passing by would only see her speaking to an empty room.
"Yeah. It should be good enough to pique the interest of the higher ups while keeping them wary at the same time. Plus, its all true even if it isn't very specific." Said the familiar voice in her head. "Nobles and politicians all have secrets they want to keep, the presence of something that isn't loyal to them and can slip past their defenses will definitely put them on guard while Keiko's youth will keep her out of danger. She's much less likely to be assassinated that way."
"Shiba Yuki right?" Soi Fon nodded "Thank You." and shut off the connection. It had taken quite a bit of meditation to figure out how to use the butterfly connection. The first few times when she forgot to cut the line, she had been flooded with so many voices that it incapacitated her. It was worth it, she could talk to Lady Yoruichi when ever she wanted! Unfortunately, to her and Keiko's disappointment Yoruichi was currently busy.
It was also a little disappointing at how many members of the Shiba family the Onmitsukido had failed to eliminate when they were exiled. Normally she would hunt them down herself with her new leads, but since they made up a good deal of her new network that would be extremely unwise. Not to mention some of the blackmail material they have from when she was learning how to use the tattoo. Nobody ever needs to know about her plushy collection, or her taste chinese pop music from the living world.
"Whatcha doing Chao -ne?"
Soi Fon gave a little jump at the interruption. "Writing reports about people." She studied Keiko's hands. They were currently clean and dry. Her sleeves were clean too. Good, she hadn't played with anything poisonous today.
"Oh. Ok." Keiko stared back at the young woman for a few moments. She wondered why she was being watched. It's not like she was doing anything bad. "Can I sign it?"
"NO. Why would you want to sign it?" She looked offended at the thought of letting a child sign a anything professional.
"Cuz I bet you wrote about me and I wanna sign it!" She pouted.
"What makes you think that?"
"I'm specially weird and different. Marecho -Nii, Yori -ne, and you said that." Came the rebuttal. " And You don't do anything unless you need to do it. Which means I get to sign it!"
Well, Soi Fon honestly couldn't fault her reason for that. At least the first part of her reason anyway. If anything she could let Keiko scribble and pretend to write her name and cut off the section before she sent it in. Or maybe not, It would certainly drive home the point of the girl being illiterate. "Fine. But only because its good writing practice."
Keiko cheered and scribbled a bunch of zigzags on the end of the paper. "YAY!"
Report from squad 3 by Isuzu Kira
I do not mean to question your orders, head captain, but I find myself wondering how Captain Wolf does her paper work. I also have to wonder why she was placed amongst us. I am quite happy that you did however, since squad morale has improved dramatically.
I have noticed that ...
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
The court guard squad was also reporting the presence of equally strange white animals popping up all over the place. If they were anything like the Wolf there would be plenty of head aches in the future. The wolf was practically a force of nature. It tore through nearly all of his seated officers effortlessly and drew out Chojiro's bankai.
Squad 4 Report from Isane Kotetsu
There is an abnormally large white snake with very light pink streaks in the back garden. It is largely sedentary although sometimes I can see the image of a very tall woman in wet clothes superimposed with the snake. It doesn't move very much. Nor does it blink. Captan Unohana and a few others do not mind its presence and will work around it. It seems to be rather lax in nature since its perfectly fine with various officers touching it so long as its not its eyes.
I have yet to bring myself to approach it...
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
The shinigami of the first division then witnessed the wolf bending bolts of lightning away from the original wielder and redirected back up unto the sky, upon which an even larger bolt of lightning was sent back down and glassed the court yard where it struck. The remainder of that day was spent removing chunks of molten glass, restoring the land and eating oranges.
He was only half way through all the oranges and his squad was getting sick of them. Maybe he could persuade one of the civilians to make it into liquor.
Squad 5 report by Momo Hinamori
I had the strangest dream where I was roused from my bed with the sound of firecrackers. At first I thought I was inside my innerworld and Tobiume was training me by throwing exploding firecrackers at me. But when I went to investigate the noise I found a large round man in white and red sitting on the back porch. His hair was short, stiff and wiry. His jaw was very pronounced and had two giant tusks sprouting from them...
~Last week~ Squad 5
"Oh? I didn't know someone here could hear me." His belly shook as he laughed. "Many apologies for disturbing you."
"Wha-? Who are you and how did you get here?!" screeched Momo
"I am the god of explosive force." He announced with great pride and threw something the size of his head into the sky. "Look upon me and be amazed!"
Momo's jaw dropped as she watched the colorful lights appear in the sky, pictures of various scenes from stories appeared amongst the stars flowing smoothly from one into the other. As embarrassing as it was to be moved by fireworks, she felt the tears begin. The pictures reminded her the simpler times where it was just her, 'shiro -chan, and granny.
It was magnificent.
It was even better then Shiba fireworks, something that was rarely ever said.
"Ha Ha Ha!" The boarlike man clapped his hands on her back, nearly knocking her over. "I take it you like them? They're even better with friends you know." Then he picked her up with his large, rough hands, scorched from repeated burns, and tossed her out towards the exit. "Now g'it"
Momo squeaked when she felt her self get thrown. Her tears stopping as abruptly as they came when she landed.
But when she turned to rebuke, or thank (she hadn't made up her mind yet) her uninvited guest, there was nobody there.
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
Yamamoto prayed to the spirit king that the wolf was going to be the worst of the lot. Other wise the court of pure souls would become the court of wild animals. He was fairly certain that Yachiru would like that. But it would drive everyone else to distraction. Not to mention collapse the government. The new central 46 was still debating on what to do with the presence of the wolf. Perhaps it would be best to keep the other animals out of their hair until they could come up with some method of dealing with the wolf.
He hoped this new one would be wiser then the last one. If any of the old paintings the great nobles houses were real and the wolf was truly a goddess, an actual assault on the wolf would be extremely unwise. So far it seems that only Ukitake was aware of the true nature of the wolf.
Perhaps he could pin some of the damages to Lieutenant Kusajishi. People knew enough about her to accept that with out batting an eyelash.
Anomalous Activities from Squad Six by Byakuya Kuchiki
The events since the Bount invasion have largely been uneventful save for the occasional sighting of a large white horse. I do not know the origins of such a horse, but I wager that it belongs to the Omaedas or an equally pretentious noble. From what I have seen, it is a steed of the finest quality even if it is rather skittish. It is approximately 17 hands tall and its hooves are in excellent condition. It does not wear a saddle or a bridle but it does have a giant fan on its back. I would normally order it removed from the premises but its presence certainly enhances the view of the garden.
Then again, judging from the pink marks it has, I also suspect the Lieutenant Kusajishi has acquired it through unknown or illegal means. If that is the case then I wash my hands of this matter. Kusajishi causes enough trouble for me as is.
Some of the strange animals were less destructive and more noisy than anything else. The report from the department of research and development was both the shortest one and the most amusing one he had.
Squad 12 report
I HAVE THREE APES PLAYING TERRIBLE MUSIC INSIDE MY LABS! I DO NOT KNOW HOW THEY GOT THERE AND I DONT CARE WHAT THEY CAN DO. THEY ARE TOO MUCH OF A NUISANCE TO BE EVEN CONSIDERED A TEST SUBJECT!
GET THEM OUT OF MY LAB!
Then again sometimes the shinigami would interact with the animal spirits with out really realizing it.
Squad 8 Report from Nanao Ise
My captain is currently drinking sake with a pink striped sheep. I suspect it has gone rancid because he keeps insisting the sheep is a woman. After I send this report I am going to lock up his sake collection, then drag the man and his sheep to the fourth division to get them inspected.
I don't believe sheep are supposed to have stripes, or drink alcohol. Could you please have some one look into recent lost animals? I do not want my captain to be charged with accidental theft.
At least the sheep is tame...
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
Hopefully this meant that Aizen would be dealing with the same kind of head aches. Yamamoto imagined that adult animal spirits would have enough control to not interfere with shinigami duties too much. He was fairly certain that children, no matter the species do not have such a restraint.
Plus there was that Cat spirit woman still at large.
I have some concerns regarding Chiyo Hagane. I question her mental stability as her competence tends to swing between laughable, and intimidating. Omaeda has managed to startle her a number of times where as I have been met with a jab to my neck each time I have tried to get an accurate evaluation...
...Her myriad of medical maladies also has me wondering if she was the result of incest and is trying to hide it. Her file is suspiciously empty save for a marriage liscense, a resume for a theatre company, and a letter of expulsion from the academy. Inflamed blockage of reiatsu vents, chronic pain, extreme mood swings, personality changes, and weak inconsistent reiatsu output are all common birth deformities from inbreeding. I have assassinated a fair few of them myself and I do know the signs. Please send me any information you have.
-Present day- Yamamoto's office
This made him uneasy for a number of reasons. The biggest of which was that he was one of the few people who knew where the power of the Great noble houses came from. As with most Youkai, he had won their allegiance by killing the head of the clan, usually the strongest. The exception being the moontribe, who claimed they were on his side to begin with and talked his ears off until he agreed with them.
The Fox clan was a straight up nightmare to deal with. While not the physically strongest they were the most widespread and influential. Masters of the shadows, never truly confirming or denying anything and almost completely unseen. The elite of the Onmitsukido were almost completely made of descendants of the damn Eight tails and his fairy queen.
Their fight blew a hole in the fabric of reality and the fox and his wife were each flung into separate worlds. Both with injuries that should've killed them.
Yet the queen of shadows had shown her face and actually managed to strike at the object with in Aizen's grasp.
The Shadow force, the empire of the Fox and his queen was still present and active. The regular assaults on Seireitei were proof of that. Civilians called them pranks, but he knew it was a message. A taunt. 'You say you lead us but you are at our mercy.'
Yamamoto tightened his fist and began looking for options.
He needed those captain positions filled.
Fast.
Hagane is too easily cowed into submission by others.
Shusuke Amagai on the other hand...
Authors note- I caught something and i've been sounding like mickey mouse for the past week.
But never mind that.
This chapter was one of the harder ones for me to write. I wanted to include the reports along with segments of people actually interacting with the brush gods and Yamamoto reacting to the reports. That would've made the chapter way too long so I cut it out. I might post it later as a filler though.
Seriously Picture it. Kenpachi and Gekkigami fighting. Yumigami walking around with a mallet. Tachigami getting offended when someone makes fun of his size.
I also wanted to give a bit of history to the five noble families. Come up with an answer as to why they are so powerful and all. Then I realized it, creatures from the okami bestiary. They would have ties to them, that would be what made them so powerful. Yes, Waka appears in the bestiary, so he counts too.
I think I'm going to do a bit on the Hueco Mundo side. Y'know, find out how they're coping with the whole chibi gods thing.
Comments and criticisms are welcome.
What song was bugging Kurotsuchi so much that he gave up three gods as testing subjects? I was listening to Nyan Cat...