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CHAPTER 10

"I talked to Tobias and he said he doesn't want to see you."

I didn't think that my heart could be more broken. I was so wrong. I feel like my heart is still beating in my chest but someone is trying to get it out with small tweezers through a little hole and only a few strips are taken. Then I feel a burning in my chest. How can he do that to me?

I slowly take my phone, my coat and my bag before I get up.

"What are you doing?" Eric asks me.

"I'm going to talk to him."

"Tris, I don't think it's a good idea. Tobias seemed hurt and I think he wasn't totally himself when he said that."

"I don't care. I am going to see him." I state.

As I pass Eric, he grabs my arm so I can't go further.

"Tris." He warns.

"Let me go! I have to speak to that asshole. I have to finish what he started."

"What do you mean?" Marlene asks, concerned.

"We have to get a divorce. It's the only for us to be happy again." I whisper with a single tear as I realize what I said.

"Tris..." She pleads.

"No! I have to do this." I yell.

"You will not see him. In your state, you could kill him."

"For what he does to Olaya, it would be sane thing to do, wouldn't it?"

"Tris, you should get some sleep and think about it. You're hurt. You shouldn't let it rule your decisions." Marlene says. "You'll talk to him later. Okay?"

I eventually break down, sobbing in her arms.

"Eric, can you bring her at Zeke's?"

"Of course."

He takes my arms and I would have fallen if he didn't hold my waist. I stopped crying when he sat me in the car and fastenned my seatbelt but I didn't stop staring into the void. I could feel the tears in my eyes but they didn't leave them. I wouldn't have allowed that.

Soon enough, he parks the car and helps me out. He tries to make me walk but I feel like my legs don't work anymore. He holds me and walks to the front door. He knocks at the door and a laughing Zeke opens the door.

"Hey, how ...Oh my god! What happened?"

Eric walks in and lays me on the couch. I continue to stare at the floor, without blinking.

"What happened? Why is she like that?"

"She's in shock. Tobias woke up but he said he didn't want to see her."

"What?" Zeke shouts. "I hope you're kidding."

"Not at all."

"Do you think she can hear us?" Uriah asks concerned.

"I don't know. I don't think so."

But they are wrong, I hear what they say but I don't care because I can't feel anything.

"Where are you going?" Shauna asks.

"I have to talk to my bestfriend." Zeke replies before slamming the door.

I see Uriah kneeling next to me and caressing my cheek.

"Tris? Can you hear me? If you do, blink once."

I continue to stare without moving.

"Shauna, I am scared. We should bring her to the hospital." He says.

"No, she will be okay. She just needs to undertand what happened."

"If you say so."

During one hour, I see them moving around but they are always all here to watch me.

"We should try to give her a bath. Maybe the water will make her react." Shauna proposes.

"Are you sure?"

"We could try. Uriah, you put her in the bathtub and then I help her to undress and give her the bath. Okay?" Shauna explains.

"We could try."

I feel a hand on me then another under my knees and I am being lifted. He puts me in the bathtub before leaving.

"Alright Tris. It's just you and me now."

She takes off my shirt then my jeans. Then my bra and my panties. I know I am naked but I don't care. I feel the hot water on my skin. It feels good. My eyelids begin to drop and I see darkness.

When I wake up, I see that I am in a bed with a fluffy quilt on me and a hot-water bottle under my pillow. It's warm. I trace patterns on the mattress while breathing shallowly. If only I could stop to feel that pain and just stop loving him. But I know I can't.

I hear the door opening and I close my eyes.

"Is she still sleeping?" Christinas' voice says.

"Yes. The nurse will come in two hours to change her IV."

"It's been two days now. I can't stand to see her like that."

"Me neither."

"Did Eric talk to him?"

"Yeah but as usual, Tobias kicked him out. Zeke talked to him but Tobias never spoke of her."

"Did you try to bring Olaya with you when you saw him?"

"Yes, I did. She stayed with him the entire day but he avoided every question about Tris. You should have seen when she saw him. She clung to him and never let him go. I never thought I would see Tobias cry."

"But why doesn't he want to see Tris?"

"I don't know..."

"So Olaya is still with Tris' parents?"

"Yes. Her mother will come today."

I feel a hand on my cheek, fingers rubbing it.

"Hey Tris. Can you open your eyes for us? Please let us see them. We only want that."

"I want to see Tobias"

My own voice makes me jump. I didn't mean to talk and I totally didn't want to whine. But I did both.

"Tris?"

I open my eyes to see them smiling.

"Thank God Tris, we were so worried. How do you feel?"

"Weak."

"It's understandable. You didn't eat in two days. You only had that IV in you arm to feed you."

"Stay here, I'll find something for you to eat". Christina says before leaving.

Shauna steps closer and sits on the bed.

"Where is Marlene?" I wonder.

"With Uriah and Matt. I convinced them to have a day for themselves. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not...Shauna, you said Olaya saw him. Is it true?"

"Yes. I wanted to talk to him but Olaya was with me. And lately, she has been really difficult. So, I brought her with me because I thought you wouldn't mind."

"I don't know..."

She takes my hand in both of hers.

"We'll find a explaination. Zeke is with him now."

Christina opens the door with food in hand. She gaves me some fruits with orange juice. I smile at her.

"Do you think there is enough fruits?" I playfully ask.

"I can look for more." She anwers seriously.

I look at Shauna and we burst out laughing.

"She was teasing you, Christina."

"Oh..."

She steals an apple then bites in it while glaring at me.

The door opens. When I see who it is, I immediately tears up. And as my little girl sees me awake, she runs to me screaming.

"Mommy!"

She jumps in my arms then hides her head in my neck. I slowly caress and kiss her head.

"I missed you, mommy."

"I missed you too, baby."

I see some movement at the door and see my father. He smiles at me. He walks to the bed then kisses my head.

"I am happy to see you awake. How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"That's what I thought. Can I talk to you?"

I nod and Shauna takes Olaya in her arms before she gets up. She leaves with Christina as my father sits next to me.

"How do you really feel?"

"How do you think I feel? He doesn't want to see me..."

"I know it's hard but I don't want you to think of it too much."

He moves his hand to caress my cheek but I don't let him touch me.

"How can you say that? If mom say that to you, you would be as crushed as me."

"Of course I would be, but it's different..."

"And why is that?"

I love my father but everytime the subject 'Tobias' is out, he becomes cold and heartless.

"Your mother is the love of my life. You are still young and you got married at 19. Do you even realize?"

I glare at him. I want to scream but I can't. Everything is too much. I can't handle it. I break down crying my head in my knees.

"I am sorry, Bea. I didn't mean it like that. I am so sorry."

I fall in his arms, unable to do anything. I am exhausted. I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to feel anything anymore and maybe, I don't want to be in love anymore.

"Stop crying, it's okay. I am here for you and I'll always be. I love you."

He wipes my tears with his thumb and smiles at me.

"Come on, get dressed ! We are going at the park."

"Alright, can you take care of Olaya while I get ready?"

"No, just us. I want it to be just like when you were my little girl."

"I've always been you're little girl" I smile.

" Not really, now you are my big girl."

I smile at him as he wipes the remain of my tears.

"I'll wait for you in the living room."

After he leaves, I quickly get dressed, too excited to spend some time with my father. I join him in the living room but he is explaining what's happening to Olaya.

"Your mommy and me will going on a walk this afternoon. You know mommy isn't feeling well and she needs to go outside."

"Why?"

"Mommy is very tired and she can't see your daddy because she is sick. It's complicated for you."

"Mommy don't love daddy?" I can see the tears in her eyes as she asks him.

"Of course, she does. She loves him as much as she loves you. I promise. Go with Shauna now, you're going to see him this afternoon."

I watch as she gets off his lap and runs to the kitchen. I take a step forwad and he sees me.

"You heard what I said?"

"Yes."

He sighs while running his fingers through his hair.

"I didn't know what to say to her."

"It's fine." I state. "She is going to see him?"

"You can't forbid her to see him. He is her father."

"But he wanted to leave her."

"Let's go outside and think of something else. You need to clear your mind."

I nod then he wraps his arms around my shoulders. He leads me out of the house to the park we used to go with Tobias and Olaya. I still see him pushing her on the swing as she yells "Higher daddy!". I swallow my tears and hides my face in my father's shoulder. He stops walking to take me in his arms.

"It's alright. I am here."

We sit on a bench. I lay my head on his shoulder as he tells me stories about Caleb and I.

"I remember this day when you and Caleb wanted to surprise your mother. You cut flowers in the garden for her but you chose her favorite roses. She wanted to scream at you two but when she saw you felt bad for that, she let it go. She kissed your head and thanked you. She was touched that you wanted to do that for her."

I laugh shortly at the memories of a 7 years old Beatrice and a 8 years old Caleb who just wanted to make their mother happy but instead, almost drove her crazy.

"Bea, if I tell you that you could talk to Tobias now, what would you say?"

I close my eyes to stop the tears.

"I would go there to speak to him. Why?"

I sit up to look at him with his phone in hand.

"Because Zeke convinced him to talk to you."

I promise that everything will be explained in the next chapter! I'll do my best to update soon but as I said before, I have school and a lot of work!