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"You cannot-" Kirk was speechless. "You cannot - I can't-"

"Captain, I can see this is distressing for you."

"No, I don't think you do." Kirk's face was set in grim lines. "Why is he on this ship?"

"To help you."

Kirk shook his head, then began to walk away from the First Officer. As he reached the door, and pressed the control panel, he turned. "This isn't going to work, Spock."

"What isn't, Jim?"

"I know I said that I felt I had to kill Khan...but I'm beginning to wonder...do you want him to kill me?!"

The First Officer could only watch in silence as Kirk left.

Kirk was sitting in his quarters, carefully ignoring the bleeping of his communicator. He hadn't even returned to the bridge, merely gone straight back to his quarters. He was trying to calm his breathing, and his thoughts.

Khan. Lying there. Motionless. He felt his heart begin to accelerate. The man lying there had threatened to kill him in front of his crew, held his First Officer to ransom - he knew that he would only be free of the feelings of guilt and shame if Khan was dead. But could he bring himself -

"Jim?"

He blinked, and looked up. Bones was standing in front of him. The CMO's face was a mask of sympathy that Kirk found hard to look at. "Yes?"

"I really think you need to come to the sick bay. There are things I can do to help you."

"Not sure you can." Jim shook his head, suddenly feeling weary, defeated. "You must have known that Khan was on this ship."

"I did."

"And that means that you - along with Spock - must think I'm a homicidal maniac, like him."

"What makes you say that?"

"The fact that I did say the only way I could stop having these nightmares, having these thoughts, is if I killed him." Kirk looked at Bones, his eyes dark with anguish. "Is that what you and Spock want me to do?"

"No - we want you to feel that you can command the Enterprise."

"So why is Khan on here?"

"Spock had a theory." Bones swallowed, carefully watching Kirk's reactions. "That if you saw Khan, just lying there, no longer a danger to you - you would feel-"

"Feel what?"

"Superior. Superior to him, and then you would-"

"Would what?"

"Hopefully not want to do anything else."

Kirk was silent.

"Jim?"

"Open him up."

"What?"

"Open him up. If you and Spock want me to show I'm superior - then open him up."

"Jim-"

"I need to confront him. Confront this. I don't feel superior, Bones. I feel - weak. Opening him up is the only way."

"But-" Bones swallowed - "what about you wanting to kill him?"

Kirk shrugged. "You're going to have to trust me."

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