No one was by my side when I woke up. I was lying on the floor, trying to get up, but falling back.

"Ah" I groaned. Every part of me ached, I was so sore. When I finally got into a sitting position my head spun even more. I couldn't remember much about what happened… Where was I? From the looks of it I was somewhere underground… Bunny's place! Ugh, him again. I tried to claw out, the deepest part of my mind, the events that have happened who-knows when. A few images flashed in my mind:

-My hand wrapped around Hazel.

-Me, yelling and hurting her.

-She, leaving the cave, crying.

-Her, hanging in the air, screaming.

-The colours fading to a sickly white shade.

-Me, being buried in leaves.

-Footsteps whispering one secret: the person that just left… is never coming back.

I didn't know what made me go so crazy, so wild… it must have something to do with this Zöe girl. Hazel was right, this wasn't me at all, it was someone else. It was a new, dangerous and evil side of me. I got that she was mad at me because of my research…

I needed to find her. She would never allow me to talk to her, of course, but I needed to try anyway. I took a hold of the side of the bed and forced myself on to my feet. Wow I was unstable! My head was spinning even faster and my knees kept buckling. I couldn't go anywhere like this. Then I noticed the sun. Warm rays of sunshine were lighting up the place, the sun seemed like the one you would have in may… How long have I been out?

The first time I got knocked out I slept for a week? 10 days? maybe. Now it felt like I've slept for more than a month.

Suddenly a shimmering figure appeared. I could barely see her, but she was definitely there, glowing, floating above the ground. A warm breeze brushed my cheeks. I could make out a few more detail when she entered the cave, pink flowers covering her left hand, brown, curly hair, chocolate brown skin and these magnificent turquoise eyes. She wasn't Hazel.

"Hello." Zöe said lowering herself to the ground. "I just wanted to see if you're okay."
"Well-" I started to cough again. "I'm not okay. And I don't mean to be rude, but I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave, thank you."

"No need to be so mean-"

"Yes!" I raised my arms in exasperation, even though every bit of the action hurt. "There is need to be rude. I just lost someone I was chasing for years because you've made me lose my mind."

"Aw! You're losing your mind because of me? How sweet."

"I didn't mean it like that!" I grunted in disapproval. "I just want to be alone, okay?"

She paused for a minute and I could see it in her eyes that she was hurt.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't- I'm not thinking straight," I took a deep breath and decided to continue. "It's not you, you… it's just you. I mean spring and the season."

"But I am the embodiment of Spring, Lover Boy."

"Why'd you call me that?"

"You're obviously trying to get her."

I just stared down at my feet, nervously smiling.

"Then go for it." I heard the wind whisper as I raised my head to see nothing. I pushed the thought of Zöe Bloom away and returned to the previous business of the cause of that fight with Hazel. Was it because Zöe was so strong or because I was so weak? I thought. Was it because I'm a Guardian? Or just because I'm… weak. And for the next half an hour every thought led to me being weak. So it was settled, I was weak. But why? What had caused my weakness in the moment? No other Guardian is a spirit of a season… so they don't go through this, right?

My head throbbed as I tried to come up with an answer, but I couldn't think of anything. I put the hood of my sweatshirt on and pulled my legs up on the bed, hugging my knees. I squeezed my head in between my knees and noticed my staff leaned against the wall. Then I noticed something else, something white and small just beside the staff. A mug. My mug. I quickly scrambled to the other side of the bed to take a better look at it. It was my mug. The one I gave to Hazel, just... different.

This time it had a lot of little green leaves on it. The position of the leaves gave you the feeling they were being carried by the wind. I got of the bed and slowly walked towards it, like it might bite. Turns out it didn't bite, it did something much worse. As I crouched down to pick it up, I noticed that the green leaves slowly started turning yellow as I turned the mug in my hand. Then they were orange, then brown and finally they withered away. When I gave the mug one last turn it was plain white.

There was no drink in it, just a note. I felt my heart sink as I read it, my gut twist as I realised what the design meant and my vision went misty as I let the not-biting, but burning mug crash to the ground and break into a hundred little pieces.

My message isn't gonna be nearly as full of love as yours.

I stood up and took my staff.

It's going to be rather cold. But you're used to that, right?

I started walking, wanting to step on the glass and break it even more, but not wanting to cut my bare feet..

I'm sorry if this hurts… but it hurts me as well.

You have no idea how this burns.

I can't keep letting you hurts me like this.

I was doing the opposite.

And I know that the last time I saw you, it wasn't… you.

I started running out the entrance into the daylight.

I didn't want to hurt you, and I guess you didn't want to hurt me, either.

Why would I?

But look at us? What have we achieved?

I stared up at the sun as it burned my eyes. It hurt less than the note.

We aren't really close friends, not to talk about more than that.

Now I felt the tears.

Just imagine how we could hurt each other if we got even closer.

I'd never let you go if you just came back.

Jack… I'm saying goodbye to… to us, to whatever we had, to whatever we could become. And I'm saying goodbye to you.

I crumpled the note in my fist then let it be carried away by the wind. Just like she let us go.

I asked myself a few times while writing this:

Will I ever write a happy chapter? Will I ever let them enjoy each other's company?

And I have that in store, I really do, but not yet… just- not yet. I want to make that moment even better. And how will I make it better by making them suffer, you ask? Well I'm not gonna tell you, you'll just have to stick around to find out.