The young man walked through the backyard, his hands stuffed into his pockets and his untidy hair flipping in the wind. He looked forward and saw the tombstone up ahead, and guilt and hurt began coursing through his system.
He walked up to it and stared down, closing his eyes as he did so. The wind pressed against his face harder, whipping his hair around even more.
"I'm sorry I haven't been here for a while," he started, kneeling down in front of the tombstone. "I should come a lot more. Its just-it's so hard. You have no idea how hard this is for me. Everyone tells me it's not my fault, but I know that it is. I should done more, tried harder, or something. It's been eight months, and every day I feel worse. I'm so sorry. It should have been me, not you."
He felt a lump in his throat and stopped talking, bowing his head as he did so. He looked back up and stared at the sun that was just beginning to rise over the horizon.
He had been up most of the night.
He tossed and turned, unable to find sleep. When he finally did, he only slept for a few hours before waking again.
He needed as much sleep as he could get as he prepared for the next few days.
Clearly, that wasn't happening.
"I don't know what else to say," he said again, gently rubbing his arm. "I feel so guilty. No matter what anyone says to me, I will always blame myself for this."
A small hand touched his shoulder, and he looked back up, pressing his own hand on top.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
Hermione sat down next to him, pressed her hands against his face, and gently pressed her lips against his.
8 months ago…..
"This isn't happening!" Harry thought, his face tucked into his hands. Sirius and Remus sat next to him while Tonks sat opposite, staring at him sadly.
"She'll be alright, Harry," Sirius said, gently squeezing his godson's shoulder.
Harry didn't remove his head from his hands. He had his eyes closed shut, trying his hardest not to cry.
'They killed him, Harry. They killed Ron.'
'I need you to move on.'
Her voice echoed through his head like a nonstop record. After it echoed a few more times, he finally lost it. His hands filled with his tears as his breath got caught in his throat. He felt Sirius lift him up and wrap his arms around him, allowing Harry to lay his head on his chest.
"I'm so sorry, Harry. Hermione will wake-I know she will."
Harry didn't say anything, but let out more guilt-wrenching sobs into his godfather's chest. The next moment the doors to the ward opened and a Healer stepped out, a stern expression on her face.
"How is she?" Tonks asked, standing quickly. She swayed a moment later and Remus grabbed her before she fell.
"She'll be alright. Her vitals are rising back up."
"What caused it?" Remus asked.
"A few factors. The cruciatus curse and magical exhaustion. It weakened her vitals far below the normal limits. We were able to stabilize her, and she is resting now."
"Thank you," Sirius said, gently patting Harry's back. The Healer nodded and walked away from the room.
"She's going to be alright," he said, putting his arms on Harry's shoulder as the young man pulled away from him.
Harry took a deep breath, turned to the door and opened it. He walked slowly towards Hermione's bed, and let out a deep breath as he saw her fast asleep under her blankets. Grasping her hand, he felt his chest tighten, and, before too long, his started sobbing again.
"Go get some rest," Sirius said, staring at Harry with the deepest sympathy he could. Harry shook his head.
"I'm not leaving her!"
"It's been a week, Harry. She's not going to wake up. Go get some rest. I'll stay with her."
"I told you I'm not leaving her," Harry said firmly. Sirius nodded and dropped the subject.
"I'm very proud of you," he said, staring at his godson. "He's gone for good, thanks to you."
"Look what we lost out of it," he replied bitterly, clutching Hermione's hand in his own.
"It's not easy losing a friend," Sirius replied, and his tone of voice nearly made Harry's heart break. "Even after all these years, I miss your parents. Sometimes I still think they're here, and I always tell myself that I need to go and see them. Then I remember and it hurts just as much as it did the first time."
"It shouldn't have been him," Harry said.
"You are not responsible, Harry," Sirius said. "You did not kill him."
Harry didn't say anything, but stared down at Hermione. Sirius let out a sigh and stood up, clapping Harry's shoulder as he did so.
"He wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
Harry was still silent. Sirius gently squeezed his shoulder.
"If you're staying with her, I'm heading to the Weasleys to see how they're doing. I'll be back in the morning, alright?"
Harry nodded. Sirius squeezed his shoulder one last time before he started to turn and walk out the door. Harry quickly stood up.
"Sirius!"
Sirius turned back around and stared at his godson in concern. Harry walked over and wrapped his arms around him. He buried his head in Sirius' chest as Sirius' arms wrapped around him.
"I'm glad you're ok."
"I'm sorry I frightened you," he replied. "I let my guard down, and I was struck."
"Thank you for everything you've done," Harry said, breaking away. "Without you, I don't think I would have won this war."
"It's over now," Sirius said, placing his hands on Harry's shoulders. "It's time to move on."
"You're a great father, Sirius," Harry said softly, "and I'm proud to be your son."
Sirius smiled. "And I'm so proud of you. Your mother and father would be as well. Stay with Hermione tonight. I'll be back in the morning."
"Night, Sirius."
"Goodnight, Harry."
Harry watched as he left before turning back to Hermione's bed. He sat back down in the chair and grasped her hand, running his thumb across her left ring finger.
"I need you to wake up," he said quietly, taking a deep breath afterwards. "Please wake up, Hermione. I need you. I already lost Ron, I can't lose you, either. I love you."
He let go of her hand and stood up, placing his own over his mouth. He walked to the window and looked out it, closing his eyes as he did so. After a few moments he walked back over to her and pulled the blanket up to her chest, kissing her head as he did so.
"Please wake soon."
Hermione awoke with a start, fear coursing through her system. She sat up in the bed and looked around, squinting her eyes at the brightness of the room. She was a little frightened until she looked over and saw Harry resting on her bed, his arms being used as a pillow for his head. She reached over and gently ran her hand through his hair.
He stirred a moment later, and she jumped back in shock. He adjusted to the light for a minute before his eyes grew wide.
"Hi, Harry," she said, smiling softly.
"Hermione, thank Merlin!" he said, wrapping his arms around her.
"What's going on?" she asked, as he buried his face into her hair.
"You nearly died," he whispered, and her heart broke at the tone of his voice.
"I'm ok," she whispered back, pulling away from him. She grabbed his hand and placed it over her heart. "I'm right here."
"It's been a week," he said, dropping his eyes. She stared at him in shock.
"A week? I've been unconscious for a week?"
He nodded. She closed her eyes.
"Where's Ron?"
He looked at her with both worry and sadness.
"You don't remember?"
She thought about it for a moment before she felt the tears fall down her face. "No!"
"He was killed, Hermione."
"No!" she cried, falling into his arms. Sobs raked through her body as he placed his head on top of hers, kissing it softly as he did so. He waited until she stopped until he pulled away, wiping at her eyes as he did so.
"Have they-have they had the funeral yet?"
"Not yet," he said quietly, avoiding her eyes. "It's scheduled for the day after tomorrow. We were hoping that you would be wake by then."
She shook her head, trying to stop the tears from pouring out. She looked over at Harry and saw the guilt plastered all over his, and something that she nearly missed.
Relief.
Relief that she had woken up. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head into his shoulder as she did so.
'This had to have been a hell of a week for him,' she thought. Ron dead, and Harry believing that she had been as well.
"I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispered, placing her forehead on his shoulder.
"You've done nothing wrong," he said, pulling away. She dropped her eyes.
'I cheated on you.'
She wasn't ready to tell him, but she knew he deserved to know. Even thinking about it tore her insides up, and she closed her eyes to stop the tears from coming.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Nothing," she whispered. "I'm still really tired."
"Get some rest. I'll be right here."
"You need sleep, too," she said, pressing her thumb underneath his eyes.
"I'm more worried about you."
"Stay with me," she said, scooting over on her bed.
"You need sleep."
"You know I won't sleep without you. Please."
He saw the look in her eyes, and he crawled into her bed, pulling her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
"Goodnight, Hermione," he whispered, kissing her head.
"Goodnight, Harry."
Soon she heard Harry's soft breathing, and she closed her eyes, attempting to fall asleep herself. Her mind keep wandering from the battle, to Harry, to Ron, to Ron's confession.
'What if Harry doesn't forgive me?' she thought, her eyes watering again. 'I love him too much. I can't lose him.'
The fact that she would never see Ron again made her feel even worse.
She clutched at Harry's shirt, biting her lip to prevent herself from crying. She felt his lips press against her head, and she was pulled tighter against him.
"I miss him, too," he said, and she buried her head into the crook of his neck.
"Hermione, thank Merlin," Tonks said, wrapping her arms around her. "You had us so worried."
"I'm ok," she said quietly, clutching at Harry's hand.
"How do you feel?"
She shrugged. The Healer walked into the room, smiling softly at Hermione as she did so.
"How are we feeling this morning?" she asked, as Harry helped Hermione lay back down on the bed.
"I feel fine," she replied quietly, as the Healer ran her wand over her.
"Your vitals are perfect. We'll go ahead and release you."
"Thank you," Hermione replied, rubbing at her tired eyes. Harry handed her a change of clothes.
"I went home and got these for you."
"Thank you," she said softly, looking at the clothes. Harry and Tonks stood up.
"We'll be right outside," Tonks said, smiling softly at her. Hermione nodded.
She waited until they left the room before she got up. She felt extremely sore and cried out in pain, unable to get out of the bed.
"Harry!" she called. He quickly rushed back in.
"What's the matter?"
"I'm really hurting. Can you help me get dressed?"
"Tonks, can you get the Healer?" he asked, turning back to her. She nodded, and Harry helped Hermione out of the bed. He removed the hospital gown, her bra and held her steady as she slipped out of her knickers. She then grabbed the extra pair and put them on, hissing in pain when she lifted her legs up. She grabbed hold of her bra and slipped it on, feeling Harry clasp it. He made a sound, and she turned around, giving him a look as she did so.
"What?"
"It's weird. I'm use to taking off your clothes, not putting them on," he said, grinning.
She shook her head, a small smile playing on the corner of her lips. 'Leave it to Harry to cheer me up'. "Help me get dressed, would you?"
She grabbed her jeans and sat on the bed, pulling them up her legs as she did so. He helped her back up and she buttoned them. She then grabbed the top and jacket and put them on.
"Thank you, kind hero," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," she said.
"I am so sorry," the Healer said, walking back through. "I forgot to leave you some pain potions. Take one every six hours as needed for pain."
"How long do you think this will last?" Harry asked.
"It's up to her. It depends on how quick her body recovers."
"Thank you," Hermione said, taking the potions.
"Get well soon," she said, pressing a hand to her arm.
"Let's get you home," Tonks said, smiling softly at her. "Remus and Sirius are waiting for you."
"Where are we going?"
"Grimmauld Place," Harry said. "The Weasleys and Neville have returned to the Burrow."
"How are you?" Remus asked, giving her a hug.
"I've been better," she replied.
"I'll go take these upstairs," Harry said, referring to her bag of clothes and potions. She nodded.
"Harry was a nervous wreck," Sirius said, hugging her as soon as Harry was out of sight. "We're so glad you're awake."
"How are the Weasleys?" she asked, dropping her eyes. He gave her a small smile.
"They're hanging in there. It's been a rough week for them."
"I can imagine," she said quietly.
"Are you hungry?" Tonks asked.
"A little."
"Lunch is almost ready," she said, standing up to walk towards the kitchen. Harry returned and sat next to Hermione.
"What time is the funeral?" she asked, laying her head on his shoulder.
"Noon tomorrow."
"Where are they burying him?"
"They want him at the Burrow."
She nodded. She clutched at his hand and closed her eyes, thankful that the potion was making her feel much better.
"Lunch should be ready now," Remus said.
"Tomorrow's going to be hard," Hermione said, as she sat on her bed. Harry gently kissed her head.
"It will be."
She laid down on the bed, and he blew out the candle. She felt him climb beside her, pull the blankets up to them, and wrap his arm around her waist.
"Try to get some sleep," he whispered into her ear. She nodded.
"You, too. Night, Harry."
"Goodnight."
She turned around in his arms, and rested her head on his chest. She listened to his even breathing and closed her eyes, feeling safe and warm in his arms.
"Hermione, listen to me," Ron started, holding on tight to her. "We may not make it out of here."
"Don't say that!" she said, pressing her head into his shoulder. He pulled her away and placed his hands on her arms, staring deep into her eyes as he did so.
"I love you."
"I love you, too," she said, her eyes watering. He shook his head.
"No, Hermione. I LOVE you. I have been in love with you since our first year."
She stared at him in shock, but didn't have a chance to say anything as he pressed his lips against hers. Her body froze, but after a moment she kissed him back, melting in his arms.
The door to the room busted open, and Ron pulled himself in front of Hermione. She let out a scream as a spell cause them to crash into the floor, with him collapsing on top of her. One of the Death Eaters roughly pushed Ron off of her before pulling her up by her arm.
"Hello, mudblood," Bellatrix said, staring at Hermione with disgust. Hermione looked over at Ron, and her heart broke and a silent scream escaped her lips as she heard what one of the Death Eaters had said.
"This one's dead."
Hermione awoke with a start, her heart beating in her chest as she did so. The movement also caused Harry to wake up, relighting the candle with his wand as he did so.
"What's wrong?" he asked, grabbing his glasses.
"I just had a bad dream. It's nothing."
He eyed her for a minute before saying, "You know you can talk to me about anything. What's the matter?"
She shook her head, unable to find the words she was looking for. He lightly pressed his lips against hers.
"Please talk to me. Is it Ron?"
"Yes," she said softly, still debating if she should tell him or not.
"I miss him, too," he replied, dropping his head. Hermione shook her head.
"That's not it. Well, it is, but it's not what's bothering me."
"What is it?"
She took a deep breath, fighting her heart and mind as she debated telling him this. "Right before Ron died, he told me that he loved me, then he kissed me."
He pulled back, shock written all over his face. She closed her eyes, guilt running through her body.
"I'm so sorry, Harry."
There was silence for several minutes. Her heart thudded in her chest as she waited for his response.
"Did you kiss him?" he asked softly, avoiding her eyes. She nodded.
"Yes."
He put his hand over his mouth, staring at the blanket as he did so. She felt the tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I feel horrible. I would understand if you didn't want to be together anymore."
He placed his finger over her mouth, and she stopped talking. He then moved it under her chin and pulled her head back up.
"I'm not mad, Hermione, if that's what you think."
"You're not?"
He shook his head. "I'm not going to lie, it hurts a little. I always knew that there was something between you and Ron, but I never got a chance to ask him."
"I feel so guilty, Harry. I feel like I cheated on you."
"He kissed you. He knew that he wasn't going to make it."
"But I kissed him back. I have a boyfriend, and I kissed another man."
"If I had been in Ron's place, I would have done the same," Harry admitted, dropping his eyes. Hermione looked at him in confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"If I knew I was going to die, and you were dating Ron, I would have told you how I felt, too."
"You're not even angry?"
"There's a part of me that wants to be," he replied, looking into her eyes. "I want to be so angry, but, I can't seem to be. You and Ron have always been the best of friends to me, and you've always been faithful. I still like it when you threatened McLaggen when he tried to break us up. You're my fiancée and I love you more than you could ever imagine. You may feel guilty, and I may feel mad, but there's no part of me that doesn't want to be with you, and no part that blames you."
He grabbed her hand and removed the charm from the ring. She closed her eyes, so thankful that Harry was willing to forgive her for what happened.
'He may forgive, but he will definitely not forget. It will be on his mind all the time.'
Harry was strangely quiet with her the next morning. Hermione didn't know whether it was because of the funeral or because of what she had told him.
'He's madder than what he's letting on,' she thought, feeling guilty.
"Are you ready?" he asked, holding his hand out to her. She nodded.
She placed her hand in his and he led her downstairs. Sirius, Remus and Tonks were waiting for them.
"On the count of three," Sirius said, activating the portkey. "One, two, three."
They felt the familiar tug through their navels and landed on the ground outside of the Burrow. Tonks quickly ran over and threw up.
"Are you alright?" Remus asked, rubbing her back. She nodded.
"Yeah. Just a little nauseous."
"Are you cold?" Harry asked Hermione, as they started walking over to the seats. He noticed that her arms were wrapped around each other.
"I'll be fine."
"Here," he said, taking off his robe. He wrapped it around her.
"You'll be cold," she said, grabbing onto it.
"I'm hot anyway. There will be spells up."
She looked around and saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sitting up front, his arms wrapped tightly around his wife as she cried into his chest. His eyes were closed, but Hermione could see the redness surrounding them. To their right sat the rest of the Weasleys, all with bloodshot eyes. The men were quiet while Ginny had her head resting on Neville's shoulder, crying into it softly.
"I don't think I can do this," Hermione said, feeling tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"I don't think I can, either," Harry replied, his voice catching in his throat. "We have to, Hermione. He was our best friend."
She nodded, grabbing his hand. Sirius walked up to them.
"We're here if you need us," he said. Behind him, Remus and Tonks nodded. "We know what it's like to lose a friend."
They nodded, unable to formulate any words. They walked up to the front, and Hermione was immediately pulled into a bone-crushing hug.
"Hermione, dear," Mrs. Weasley said, placing her hands on both sides of Hermione's face. "We're so glad you're alright."
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Weasley," she replied, her voice cracking.
"Molly," she said, dabbing at her eyes again. "Hello, Harry."
"Mrs-Molly," he said, when she gave him a look. "I'm sorry I couldn't help set up."
"We had plenty of help," she said, looking between everyone in the crowd. Hermione looked around and saw several Hogwarts professors and students, including Susan Bones, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan and Luna Lovegood. "Hermione needed you."
Hermione finally noticed the casket and walked over, feeling the tears rush down her face. She saw Harry next to her and buried her head into the crook of his shoulder, soaking his shirt with her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek on top of her head. A moment later her head start to feel wet.
"They're about to start," Tonks said, looking at them sadly. They nodded and took their seats next to her. McGonagall stood up at the podium with Sirius, Remus and Kingsley standing behind her.
"It is never easy to say goodbye," she started with a heavy heart. "Unfortunately, we must today. We must say goodbye to Ron Weasley, who was killed during the battle of Godric's Hollow. For a moment may we all bow our heads in memory of Ron?"
Harry's hand found Hermione's as he bowed his head, clutching it tightly as he did so. It was completely silent for a minute before McGonagall raised her head and started talking again.
"Today, some of you are burying a son, some are burying a brother, and some are burying a friend, but the pain is present in everyone here. Mr. Weasley died protecting one of his best friends. He died not only to save Hermione Granger, but to save everyone. He devoted and lost his life so that this war may end. So, at this time, Kingsley Shackelbolt would like to say a few words."
She stepped aside, and he stepped forward. He cleared his throat and looked at the crowd around him.
"As some of you now know, I have been offered the position as Minister for Magic, and I have accepted the job. One of my duties is to create a place at the Ministry for all of our war heroes. By all, I mean all. Whether they were from the First War or the Second War, they will be honored. Ron Weasley is one of the heroes who will be honored. Ron died trying to make our world a better place, and there is no way that I will not honor him and fellow fallen heroes. I would also like to a moment to honor Ron's memory with another moment of silence."
He bowed his head, and everyone in the crowd did as well. A moment later he lifted it and walked over to the coffin.
"Rest easy, hero."
He nodded at McGonagall, who retook her place at the podium. "While Ron didn't put much effort into his studies, he was there for his friends. He lived for Quidditich, and enjoyed the game very much. I still remember Weasley's and Potter's first day at Hogwarts, when they both showed late to my class because they were unable to find it. It's hard to believe that nearly six years later, we have to say goodbye.
"I want you to think about all the happy memories you share with Ron. Keep them in your mind, because when you start thinking about him, and you start to feel sad yet again, you will think about those memories and they will make you smile. You will always have your memories that you shared with Mr. Weasley, and I hope that they will cheer you up through this difficult time. It is time to say our final goodbyes, and I would like to start with his family first."
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood up and walked to the coffin. The children followed right behind them. The sound of Mrs. Weasley's crying was all that was heard, and Hermione closed her eyes, squeezing Harry's hand.
"You're family," Ginny said, as she and Neville walked up to them. "You deserve to be up there, too."
Hermione smiled slightly, and she and Harry stood up and made their way to the casket. When all the other family members said goodbye, they stood, and stared down at their best friend for the final time.
"You have been the best friend I could have asked for," Harry said, feeling the lump in his throat. "You were my first friend. You helped Hermione and I discover the magical world. We had our differences, but we always pushed past them. I can't seem to say goodbye, because I don't want to. You should still be here. I'll miss you, mate. Thank you for everything that you did for me."
"Ron," Hermione croaked out, feeling the tears rush down her face now, "You and I fought a lot. I know we always drove Harry crazy. Even though we did, I never stopped thinking of you as my friend. You were my best friend. Much like Harry, I can't seem to find a way to say goodbye. We don't want to say goodbye. We'll miss you so much, Ron. Thank you for protecting us. Thank you for everything you've done."
Unable to say anything more, they both moved from the coffin back to their seats and collapsed into each other's arms. When everyone said their final goodbyes, McGonagall took to the podium one final time.
"Saying goodbye is never easy," she repeated again. "However, it is necessary. It is now time to close the casket and lay him to rest. Gentlemen."
Kingsley, Sirius and Remus stepped forward, closed the casket, pulled their wands out and lifted it into the air. They carefully walked it and levitated it over the giant hole in the ground, and softly lowered it until it was all the way in. They then covered it with the dirt and evened it out. McGonagall walked up to it and bowed her head.
"Rest easy, Mr. Weasley."
Everyone stood up and covered themselves around the grave. Harry wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist and pulled her in closer. She looked up at him and saw the anger and guilt written all over his face.
And they stayed at the grave until everyone else left, just staring at the ground and holding on to each other.
And Hermione realized that she and Harry had a lot to talk about, and a lot to get through, but they would get through it.
They always got through it.
Together.
Present day
"Did you have trouble sleeping again?" she asked, looking at the bags underneath his eyes. He gently grabbed her hands.
"I don't know why. I always sleep well when I'm with you."
"There's something on your mind," she said, looking at Ron's tombstone. "You know he wouldn't want you blaming yourself."
"I should have done more."
"There was nothing you could have done. You know that just as much as I do."
"I just-I miss him, Hermione."
"I miss him, too," she said, running her hand over the tombstone. "I miss him more and more each day. It's been eight months and it still feels like it happened just yesterday."
"He should be here," Harry said softly, standing up as he did so. She stood up with him.
"You need sleep," she said, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "We have a busy few days ahead of us."
"You're right," he said, holding her close to him. "Not that I don't like staying here, but, I prefer our apartment."
"It's just for a few days. After that, we'll be In Greece for a week enjoying our honeymoon."
"You have no idea how much I am looking forward to it," he grinned, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"As am I. We still have a few hours. Let's go get some sleep."
"I'll be in a second," he said, and she nodded and disappeared back into the house. He turned back to the grave. "I know you're still with us, mate. Hermione and I are getting married tomorrow, and it won't be the same without you there. You know if you were here that you would be my best man, even after everything that happened you and Hermione. I don't blame you for telling her. It still creeps up into my head to this day, but I can't blame you. I would have done the same."
"Harry?" Hermione called, waiting at the door.
"Coming," he said, and he followed her back into the house.