The teacher's lounge was average by most standards. Most of the tables were in good working order and the walls had little, if any, holes in them, making for a structurally sound room. The overhead fluorescent light blinked on and off occasionally, the ceiling leaked in a few places, and in the harder to reach corners there was a decent amount of mold, making it even worse for allergy sufferers, such as Basil, who was sneezing his head off, than it already was.
Sitting at the nearest table was Donald Duck, the gym teacher, across from him was Rafiki, who specialized in philosophy, one of the few courses in the school that counted towards college credit. Donald, who was casually twirling his whistle around his neck, and Rafiki were in the middle of enjoying lunch when Basil entered the room.
"Ah there he is!" Rafiki said warmly, waving Basil over, "The mouse who holds all the cards. Come and sit."
Basil rolled his eyes and shook his head, for he did not deserve such esteem nor did he ask for it.
"There are better mice than me Rafiki" Basil replied as he took his seat, "Some of them are definitely better at cards."
Rafiki waved him off and huffed, refusing to believe Basil's humility.
"Bah!" the baboon exclaimed, "Why deny it if it is true? You've got heart my friend, and that's more than I can say for most-"
Rafiki gestured towards Donald, making it as obvious as possible.
"Take this one for example. No spine. No brain. Always acting before he thinks and never looking beyond his own needs!"
Donald, who had stopped his twirling at this point, raised his eyebrows curiously and leaned in, trying to read Rafiki's words to find any kind of humor in them. Upon finding none the duck took offense, folding his arms and giving the baboon a death stare.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Donald declared, "I do plenty of thinking. I just don't overexert myself."
Rafiki laughed and shook his head, "It means that you're overly impulsive. You feel too much, value the opinions of others more than you value your own and you have lost the ability to stand up for yourself."
Donald tensed at this, understandably insulted, Basil, in an attempt to diffuse the situation, for he detested unnecessary conflict, switched topics.
"How are the kids Donald?" Basil asked, mentioning Huey, Dewy, and Louie, each having gone their separate ways- Huey, in the psychiatry business; Dewy, as an air mail carrier with Launchpad McQuack; and Louie, an advertising executive at ACME under Wile E. Coyote, the CEO.
The mention of his nephews caused Donald to relax and for his breathing to return to normal, as his brain began scrolling through the various memories that he had stored in the back of his subconscious. On an emotional level, he felt as if they were his own children, despite being their uncle and thus, having no real reason other than love and stability, to take them on, as if anyone needed more justification.
"They're happy" Donald answered as he readjusted himself, "What more could anyone ask for?"
Basil nodded, he couldn't help but agree, happiness it seemed, was the key to self-actualization, the quintessential essence of life and all of its forces- in other words, being the best individual that one could be, obtaining their full potential.
A loud and hurried scream came from the hallway, causing all of them, including the other teachers in the room- Robin Hood, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Mulan, and Tick-Tock the Crocodile, the tormentor of Captain Hook- to peer their heads out of the teacher's lounge to find Horace and Br'er Rabbit, another janitor, running and screaming their heads off, both of them covered in flour and batter.
"Is it that time of the day already?" Tick-Tock said, looking at his stomach as he tried to read the clock inside it, "We still have five minutes until total anarchy."
Donald nodded, "The first day is always an early one Tick-Tock" the duck replied, "Now come on, let's see if we can do something."
Tick-Tock shrugged and casually began flossing his teeth, the others paying no mind. Mulan, for her part, began calculating a plan of action in her head and immediately proceeded with giving instructions, all the while the students, mostly freshmen, began bursting out of the room collectively deciding to give chase to the poor janitor and the cook.
"Alright here's the plan" Mulan declared, "Tick-Tock, Oswald, you're the diversion. Get them back to the cafeteria-"
Tick-Tock and Oswald each gave a look to each other, the look that meant that they were each having the same crazy idea. There was a slight possibility of them getting fired or transferred, but it was a chance that both of them were willing to take at the moment, if only to have a crazy idea and maybe teach a lesson at the same time.
"Robin, Rafiki, get Horace and Rabbit to safety."
Robin casually looked over Mulan's shoulder down the hallway, he could see Horace and Br'er being beaten to a pulp with screaming, both from the students and from Horace, following soon after. Br'er Rabbit, at this point, began shouting and begging for help.
"Damn" Robin said to himself, not wanting to be rude and interrupt, "They're really ripping into them aren't they?"
Rafiki couldn't help but nod in agreement, still, out of respect for Mulan he said nothing. The princess herself was too busy thinking about strategy to hear Horace and Rabbit's screaming, which caused Oswald, Tick-Tock, Robin, and Rafiki to leap into action after a few seconds of rationalization, in part to stop the madness and because they already had been told what it was they were to do. Donald, of his own accord, preferring to listen to common sense than to Mulan, immediately ran as fast as he could towards the principal's office. Basil, being the only one still standing around, rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Mulan dear" Basil declared, "Turn around."
Mulan, more out of curiosity than anything else, did as she was told and turned to find a tidal wave of students fleeing towards the cafeteria in a full stampede. Behind them was Tick-Tock and Oswald, the latter riding the former as if he were a cowboy, both of them roaring and screaming their heads off, as they ran back and forth across the hallway as if they were herding cattle into a corral. Rafiki and Robin, meanwhile, were busy tending to Horace, who had broken an arm, and Rabbit, who only received minor injuries by comparison.
Seconds later Donald, accompanied by Mickey Mouse, the principal, and Bob Iger, the visiting superintendent of the district, reappeared. Mickey, being a casual and informal sort, was dressed in a simple white button-up shirt and brown dress pants, while Iger stuck to the traditional brown suit, complementing Basil, both of whom looked as if they were about to go to a funeral.
"What the hell is going on here?" Iger asked as the last of the students rushed into the cafeteria, "Explain this!"
Iger's stare found itself on Mickey, the obvious scapegoat, who in turn, looked at Donald, who looked at Mulan and Basil, all of them searching for answers. Oswald and Tick-Tock came to a screeching halt, stopping just before Iger, Mickey, and Donald. The crocodile gently leaned his head down, allowing Oswald to climb off and remove the harness that he had attached to him.
"Afternoon sirs" Oswald said welcomingly, "What seems to be the problem?"
Iger stared at Oswald for a few seconds as if he were completely insane. Oswald, getting the hint, immediately retracted and turned to Tick-Tock, who, being a gentle creature of habit, gave the warmest smile he could and a reassuring wink that ultimately did nothing to calm Oswald's nerves.
"Tick-Tock" Mickey instructed, "Make sure they stay in the cafeteria while we sort this out."
The crocodile nodded and hung his head in partial shame, for the last thing he wanted was to cause embarrassment, for Mickey or anyone else. Tick-Tock wanted to explain the situation, for he had some understanding of it, having heard a good bit of Horace's fearful blabbering, but he decided for the sake of everyone and to not complicate things further, to comply with the request and stand at the door.
Robin and Rafiki slowly made their way to the group, behind them was Br'er Rabbit, who was tenderly rubbing his own cheek; Horace, meanwhile, was trying not move, out of fear that something else besides his arm had also been broken. Iger and Mickey, upon seeing this, both resisted the urge to ask questions, in favor of hearing some kind of explanation. Robin, who was more level-headed and straight to the point than Rafiki, explained to the best of his ability the situation.
"It started in the lunch line" Robin began, "Typical nonsense really. He said-she said stuff, the usual, nothing we hadn't seen before. Then someone pulls out a switchblade and starts stabbing, prompting Horace to intervene."
Brer Rabbit nodded, confirming Robin's account.
"The fightin' was easy enough to break up" he added, "The attacker weren't no good at anything, much less knife welding, so it was simply a matter of breaking his damn hand. After that the room just exploded, everybody going against everybody- biting, kicking and shoving. The only reason they turned on Horace at'll was because it was easier to blame on 'im."
Mickey raised his eyebrows, confused, for Rabbit and Robin's account only made the situation more complex. He needed names to punish those responsible, which given the circumstances, the fact that it was the first day and that most of them were freshmen, was an impossibility without direct questioning.
"Any idea who they were?" Mickey pressed, "Give me names Rabbit. Any of the usual suspects?"
Brer Rabbit shook his head again and sighed, "Jack Living wasn't among 'em" he replied, "Neither was Bobby Jay or Tyler Novak. Whoever they were, they're new."
Mickey turned to Donald and Rafiki, who promptly followed him into the cafeteria. Iger, meanwhile, noticed that Horace was still on the ground. Pete was standing over him, talking into his radio to Clarabelle, trying to determine if a hospital was necessary.
"Just calm down Horace" Pete said as he gently sat the horse up, who was still blubbering and shaking as it were the middle of winter, "Everything is going to be alright."
Horace was generally unresponsive. Pete, in an effort to stall until Clarabelle arrived, began with the standard question procedure done with shock victim- asking Horace his name, where he was, his age, what the color of the sky is, where he was born, who he worked for, what he did, and where he wanted to be in his life in the next five years- all of these questions Pete knew the answer to, taking particular note of the last one, which he kept to himself.
"Don't worry about a thing" Pete continued, still trying to be reassuring, "Clarabelle's going to fix you right up and you'll be back to flipping burgers in no time."
Horace blinked a few times, the first recognition that he gave of his awareness, and slowly began to breathe in and out. After a few moments of staring at the ceiling, and at Pete, who was rubbing his head with the cleanest rag available, Horace slowly came back to the world.
"Pete" Horace exclaimed, slightly confused, "Am I dead?"
Pete laughed and shook his head, thankful that the answer was a definite one. The janitor began checking Horace's pulse, making sure that his heart rate was back to normal levels despite not really being able to tell without proper equipment. Once he was sure that Horace was going to come out in as healthy a condition as possible, Pete began, rather uncharacteristically, to pray silently to himself.
Clarabelle arrived soon after, causing Horace to breathe easier and for Pete to finally take his leave of the cook. He still felt a sense of responsibility for him, and even though his injuries were minor in the grand scheme of things, they were still significant enough to warrant worry.
"Let me know how he's doing" Pete said to Clarabelle as he walked away, "I'd hate to lose a valuable business asset."
Clarabelle had no idea what Pete was talking about or why he had referred to Horace as a business asset. She assumed it was an insult, for Pete's obvious avoidance of the word "friend" was made even more so with the analogy. Horace however, knew that it was a compliment and a substantial one coming from Pete, that it was his way of protecting his own heart.
Mickey, Donald, Iger and most of the teachers involved in the incident were still talking about the best course of action by the time Pete made his way over. Basil had already taken his leave and returned to his classroom, preparing for the next lesson; Oswald was late for a doctor's appointment and so had to run out of the building; and Rafiki had a meeting with Jiminy Cricket, and so headed for the administrative office; leaving Robin Hood, who was currently giving more details into some of the key students that had been identified; Mulan, who was investigating how a knife got into the building in the first place; and Tick-Tock, who stood at his post, still guarding the cafeteria door.
"I'll have Basil look into it when he has time" Robin said, not really sure what more there was to be done, "Until someone confesses there isn't much we can do but give them all the same penalty. Doesn't matter who started it, they all broke the rules, they need to be punished. The guilty will receive their dues when they are discovered."
Mickey and Iger agreed with this reasoning, it was pointless to continue discussing the matter further until proper investigation could be done. Still, they couldn't help but wonder how the weapon got into the school to begin with, for there were metal detectors placed at every major entrance. Mulan, after a few minutes of deductive reasoning could only assume that some kind of smuggling was involved. It was the only thing that made sense given the circumstances.
"They'll do anything to make their point that they don't want to be here" Mulan said rather sadly, "They think because they have it hard outside they have to make equally hard in here in order for everything to make sense."
All of them nodded in agreement and the group began to disband, it was then that they noticed Pete, who had been standing on the sidelines, listening in to the conversation, pretending to contribute.
"What do you want?" Iger asked, "Can't you see we're busy."
Pete nodded, "Yes sir I can" he answered, "I just want you to know that if you need anything I'll be here."
Iger nodded sarcastically and closed his eyes, patting Pete's massive frame in meaningless appreciation.
"We'll keep that in mind Pete" Iger continued, "Now if you don't mind, would you kindly clean up the blood in the hallway? We don't need this place looking like a shithole more than it already is."
Br'er Rabbit immediately stepped in, putting himself between Iger and Pete. The rabbit stood up on his haunches, stretching himself out to his full extent, and quickly grabbed Pete's mop, bucket, and broom that was behind him.
"I'll take that there job" Brer Rabbit declared, "Pete can do the cafeteria when the chilren are done."
Iger stared at Rabbit, not really sure if he was being told off or ordered to back off. He assumed it a bit of both.
"Are you telling me what to do?" Iger said defensively, "Because if you are I don't appreciate it."
Br'er Rabbit shook his head in disagreement, for Iger couldn't have been further from the truth.
"Not at'll, not at'll" Br'er Rabbit exclaimed, "Just doing a good turn for a good turn. Certainly you can understand that can't yah? I mean after all, you did give us these jobs with the expectation that this here program was going to benefit these chilrens."
Iger groaned and rolled his eyes, partially annoyed by Rabbit's thick Southern drawl. Mickey however, intervened before anything else could happen, not wanting a repeat incident in the span of five minutes.
"Come on Iger, leave him alone" Mickey said as he pulled the superintendent away, "Let them do want they will, it's not our concern."
Br'er Rabbit huffed victoriously, satisfied in some way that he had stood up Iger and had come unscathed.
"That's right" Rabbit taunted, "Go on back to your office and file those damn papers of yers. Leave the real work to those who care!"
Iger was close to considering murder at this point, still despite this, he took the advice of Mickey and ignored Rabbit to the best of his ability as they quietly headed back to the front office to discuss matters of general importance. Robin, when Iger was well enough away, could only laugh in hysteria at what had just occurred, refusing to believe it.
"Are you kidding me?" Robin declared, "That was the best thing ever!"
Mulan, who did not see why the situation was particularly funny, in fact finding in quite the opposite and instead seeing it as an insult to a high ranking education official, rolled her eyes and blamed the useless comedy on the general idiocy and slight sexism that she carried in regards to men. What she found funny veered more in terms of the ironic instead of blatant mean-spiritedness and sarcasm, which were more Robin and Rabbit taste of humor. Different strokes for different folks.
"If you don't mind I've got things I need to do- classes to prepare for, pain medicine to take- you know how it goes." Mulan declared as she walked back towards the teacher's lounge to gather her things, "If you need me I'll be in my room trying not bang my head against the wall."
Robin and Rabbit casually waved. Tick-Tock who was getting tired of guarding the door, carefully stepped away from it. Coincidentally the lunch bell rang for the second time, signaling the end of lunch hour, causing all the students in the cafeteria to blot out of the room and back into the hallway, trampling the crocodile and almost killing him, and scattering the others back against the nearest wall. When the dust settled a few minutes later and the hallway was cleared, Pete was already on the phone with Clarabelle, this time to see to Tick-Tock's broken tail and his chipped tooth. Br'er Rabbit meanwhile, gladly and without protest, began to sweep the hallway, whistling the "Splash Mountain Medley" to himself as if he hadn't a care in the world.
Author's Note: The depiction of Bob Iger, and all subsequent depictions of real people are purely fictionalized for the sake of story telling. They are not in any way representative of the Walt Disney Corporation nor are they meant to offend.