Gray: Scorpius Malfoy and the Crux of the Alchemist

by Fiery Gray

UNDER EDITING! (VI): While the Shadow War continues far away from the walls of Hogwarts, Scorpius is left facing the frustration of being stuck inside starting his first year of NEWT classes. He finds himself drawn to the mysterious new Alchemy professor, the subject itself shedding light on certain things while Shadows and a defector lurk closer then he realizes. COMPLETE

14. Chapter 14: Hollow Victories

Parts (54-57)

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VI

Chapter 14

Hollow Victories

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Part 1: Cruel Fates

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Tom Riddle III or Marius Calderon or Tommy was lying down on his bed, whatever his name was. He didn't know what it was anymore, he didn't think it mattered. He was just him and he locked away now, locked away forever.

It was a sizeable room he supposed, there was plenty of space if he wanted to get up and walk around. There was a door leading to a small bathroom nestled in the corner if he needed the toilet, there was a shower too but they were the ones who could turn on the shower so it was only used once every other day. The sink worked though, he could wash his hands and get water to drink at will. He had a relatively large comfortable bed, a window above albeit barred and was given several proper meals a day.

He couldn't fault them for comfort, he was treated so much better than his childhood in Azkaban or his time as a prisoner of his father's Death Eaters. No, as far as captors go it wasn't bad he supposed. Of course he couldn't leave, prisoners couldn't leave. He didn't want to leave anyway, he didn't want to do anything.

He'd only get up when the Aurors were taking him for a shower or urging him to eat or when his discomfort at needing to relieve himself was strong enough, that was his life. His body always felt so heavy, it never ceased to surprise him how easily it moved. He thought it was like going to lift something that should weigh a lot but someone had put a Featherlight Charm on without him realizing.

Every day he was injected with the Magic Repressing Potion, it sapped both his magic and his strength. All of his strength. So he lay there listlessly day in and day out, drifting in and out of consciousness staring up at the ceiling. He could have been there weeks, could've been there years, he didn't know anymore. He was just waiting to die really, that was the only way he could see his imprisonment ending.

He'd always thought he'd die a prisoner, he'd spent half his life as one and the other half assisting at Hogwarts. It had all come crashing down around him though, the staff had turned on him – all except Ticcy, which had been nice of him – and his cousin had even said he hated him. That hurt.

You couldn't just life your life when you were the son of Voldemort, the world would always be against you no matter how hard you'd tried to protect. He'd had a good run, he'd had some good times, met some good people. It was more than he could've hoped for as a child.

"Riddle?" an Auror barked and he heard footsteps as well as the opening door.

"Hmm?" he wondered tiredly, turning his head too much effort to see.

"Just making sure you're alright here, been a tough day," the Auror said sounding relieved before the door closing, "I'll leave you to it."

"'Kay," he muttered as he heard the Auror's footsteps leaving.

The rest of the world seemed so far away from him now, along with all the concerns and people in it. He felt like he was fading away, like he wasn't really there anymore. He wondered what had got the Aurors riled up, he didn't have the energy to sigh. Oh well.

---

"Well just because you saw him torturing Leebin, it doesn't mean your son is a Shadow," Cel offered comfortingly, "He could've been Imperised or possessed, there's still hope."

"You didn't see it, Cel," Harry shot out angrily, lifting his head from his hands to turn on his friend, "I looked into my son's eyes – Ginny's eyes – and I know it was him, it was my boy willing Flan to suffer even more after… Merlin knows what. There was no sympathy, no remorse, no hesitation just rage. He wanted Flan to be in pain so he inflicted pain on him, it's not like he hasn't done it before just with his fists instead."

"Well maybe Leebin did something to justify incurring his wrath, we don't know."

"I wouldn't torture the Shadow Master if he was in as bad a state as Flan, nothing he could possibly do could justify it," Harry insisted miserably and his stomach churned sickeningly as something else occurred to him, "What if James is partly responsible for his physical state as well? Is my own son really that bad? Do you think he'd really do that? How could he do that to another human being?"

"I-"

"What is wrong with me, Cel?!" Harry demanded hopelessly feeling tears welling behind his eyes, "What did I do wrong? I was there when he was born, I used to be able to cradle him in my arms and bounce him on my knee, I named him after my dad… And now he's beating children, torturing my friends and k-killing... How am I ever supposed to look Bill in the eye again? I can't even deal with that. Where did I go wrong?"

"You can't blame yourself, Harry."

"My oldest friend and my eldest child both defected. It can't just be a coincidence, there has to be something I'm doing wrong. I'm failing the world, I'm failing my family," Harry admitted solemnly, "I used to be Chosen One, I took out Voldemort. Now I'm just a failure."

"You done wallowing in your pathetic self-pity?" a familiar yet not gruff voice questioned and they both glanced up to see Hogan Leebin, his deceased Auror mentor's identical twin. Harry didn't know if it was just him but he always found it strange to see his face on a different person, hear the same voice.

"Excuse me, we're having a private conversation here," Cel complained irritably.

"You can't have a private conversation in a public place, you idiot," Hogan sniped immediately and threw out his arms, they were in a waiting room in St Mungo's, "We're waking up Flan now so if you still wanted to see him then come on, if you're not then get out of my hospital or at least stop bitching like whiny little brats."

"Could you try show some compassion?"

"Compassion for what? The has-been of a hero responsible for almost getting my nephew and his family killed?"

"H-"

"Its fine, Cel," Harry brushed it off guiltily, he deserved that, "What did you come to tell us?"

"We're waking Flan up now so if you still wanted to see him, now's the time," Hogan informed him bluntly, his expression as grim as his brother's, "If you're not then get the hell out of my hospital."

"We'll see him," Harry confirmed and jumped to his feet immediately albeit nervously as did Cel.

"We need to find out what he knows," Cel added as he also jumped up, Hogan turned and Harry made to follow him but Cel grabbed his arm back gently as he dropped his voice to a whisper, "You know if you don't feel comfortable to do this so soon after James… then it's okay, I can find out what he knows for us."

"No, its fine," Harry brushed it off while Hogan cast Cel a suspicious glance, "He's my friend and it's my fault he was in this situation, I want to see him."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Harry insisted, he knew Cel and Flan didn't have the best relationship with Flan thinking he was a Shadow before which while wrong still probably meant Flan wouldn't be keen on seeing him especially so soon after escaping hell.

"Hey!" a woman's voice blurted out and they turned in time to see Flan's petite werewolf wife hurrying over to them with a desperate anxious expression, "Where is Flan? How is Flan? Can I see him? Is he okay?"

"We're just about to see him now. How is he, Hogan?"

"He's stable," Hogan answered testily as he folded his arms with a dark look at the poor woman, "In a way he's quite lucky, Shadows tend to use corrupted wands which makes their victims resistant to healing magic so recovery takes a lot longer than usual. They didn't do that with Flan though, I suspect because it'd be easier to keep him alive during his extensive torture since the dead can't talk. He's still been through an immense amount, he'll have extensive scarring and we can't regrow limbs. Recovery will still be a slow process."

"Thanks for telling me about my husband by the way," Myriam complained at him with a scowl that Hogan fully returned.

"I'm so sorry, how selfish of me to stay up over twenty-four hours straight working on piecing my nephew's broken body back together and trying to keep him alive instead of owling you so you can hang around in the way."

"Can we just see him?" Harry wondered and Hogan rolled his eyes.

"Yes. Beat it, Myriam."

"What? But he's my husband, I want to see him," Myriam protested, looking hurt at the thought of being denied access.

"It can wait until the Aurors are done after I talk to you, wouldn't want to keep the famous Harry Potter waiting now would we?" Hogan said in a continued tone of disrespect, making Myriam look distraught.

"It alright if she comes in with us," Harry offered and Hogan rolled his eyes.

"Fine then let's all go see him," Hogan agreed clearly reluctantly and threw up his hands in exasperation before stalking over to the door, Harry hadn't noticed Cel had already walked over there, "Don't say I didn't warn you though."

Harry scowled in concern at this odd phrasing as they followed after Hogan, he spotted Flan immediately in the bed. He was looking admittedly better but in all fairness, he didn't think Flan could've been in worse shape than he'd been in when they found him. The bruises on his face and neck – and presumably across his body too – had been healed, showing off his pale face once more. He still had scars though, faded marks around his eyes and neck. His hands were bandaged, several fingers either missing completely or partially so, all had had the nails removed. His face was still gaunt as it would take time to put some weight back on, his nose was now also crooked as if it had been broken several times and his ears had been stitched back in a coherent way. He seemed to have been washed as his reddish-brown hair was now clean, hanging around his face which he noticed still had dark circles of exhaustion around his eyes. Myriam rushed over with tear-filled eyes to take his hand gently.

"Back off," Hogan growled and she jolted her hand away as if burned, he waved his barely noticeably at Flan who immediately stirred, "You might freak him out."

"Flan?" Myriam questioned of her husband as his yes fluttered open, looking as if she was very much resisting the urge to take his hand or just touch, "Flan? Sweetheart, it's me."

"Gazkananork grogthanarganarth," Flan babbled out as he sat up, an ill-fitting smile on his face and Myriam frowned in confusion.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention," Hogan spoke up as he folded his arms once more, "He's mad."

"Danakaka caraway!" Flan cried excitedly as he looked between the people around him without a flicker of recognition in his cyan eyes, grinning widely and Harry felt his spirits plummet, "Stansinark sukon markarakay donkarona supaxkanar."

"No, no, Flan, it's me. Its Myriam, I'm your wife," Myriam told him as some of her tears leaked from her eyes, he continued smiling at her not noticing she was upset.

"Skronjaka maydanahue," Flan continued to babble gibberish with a smile on his face before picking up some sponge left by his bed with his remaining fingers to offer to her, "Gronthanagahi mojakus crebeblihi!"

"I don't want that," Myriam pushed it away, her voice cracking while he continued to smile obliviously.

"Maybe he's just pretending?" Cel offered lamely.

"He's not pretending," Hogan shook his head with certainty while Flan went to put the sponge in his mouth, Hogan gently moved his hand back and took it from, "Not for eating."

"Misthacananoku," Flan babbled, gazing at his uncle still smiling.

"Flan? Flan? Flan? Come on, Flan? Flan? Flan?" Myriam started questioning seeing if he responded to his name but he continued rambling incoherently off to his uncle, she choked on a sob, "This isn't fair. He was saved, after whatever kinds of horror he went through he was saved. He should get a chance to recover, he shouldn't- he shouldn't have to be like this. It's not fair. H-He has a l-life and k-kids. Flan, please."

"Is there any chance of him recovering?" Harry asked sadly, sharing in Myriam's grief at the unfairness of the situation and a lump clenched in his gut.

James had been torturing him, had he been the one to snap Flan's mind? Had his own son driven someone literally insane? Flan obliviously continued babbling gibberish, turning excitedly to talk to each of them. Harry was reminded oddly of a baby, imitating speech without understanding what any of the words meant.

"Unlikely," Hogan stated the obviously while Myriam buried her face in her hands, her shoulders starting to shake as she silently cried.

"Have you tried Legilimency? It might still be a way to find out what he knows," Cel spoke up, "I could try look through his memories, maybe we can see who specifically did this to him. We may not be able to save him but there's a chance to see who we need to bring to justice."

"Be my guest," Hogan offered and gestured for Cel to go on uncommonly quickly, Cel whipped out his wand and cleared his throat.

"Legilimens!" Cel cried as he jabbed his wand at Flan, to his surprise Flan screamed and there was a flash as a bolt of lightning shot out from him to strike Cel. Cel was flung back violently, tossed painfully into the wall.

"Cel!" Harry yelled worriedly and ran over to him.

Cel nodded numbly and cringed as Harry helped him up, looking a tad dazed while glanced back to the Leebins. Flan was now screaming gibberish hysterically and crying, rocking back and forth while his distraught wife tried to calm him. Hogan was watching the Aurors with amusement, alone looking unsurprised as Harry helped Cel back over to him.

"You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"

"What? No," Hogan scoffed in a tone of an obvious lie, not bothering to hide the delight on his face, "I mean sure a Legilimens tried similar to that before as part of the sanity gauging but how was I supposed to know that a trained Auror would also have trouble? I figured it couldn't hurt to try."

"It did hurt, you upset Flan!" Myriam insisted although he'd stopped screaming, he continued rocking and crying as he babbled in a whisper though.

"Not to mention throwing me against a wall!" Cel pointed out indignantly while Hogan disinterestedly studied his nails, "Why is he like that anyway? His mind is supposed to mush not a brick wall that shoots lightning bolts."

"Well Flan is an Occlumens," Hogan said as it was obvious, "I imagine he was using it to defend his mind or cope somehow with his torture so his mind snapping from the strain might've been different to usual. He built a fortress to protect his mind from invaders and tried to crawl into it to escape the pain like a coward, only he wound up getting trapped inside. He can't get back out to his body and you can't get back in to his mind."

"You're an idiot."

"Says the guy who just got smacked into the wall by a mental patient," Hogan smirked.

"Could you try being a human? You know, for once," Myriam snapped at him irritably while Harry was distracted noticing red bleeding into Cel's sandy hair.

"Cel, you're bleeding," Harry pointed out and Cel put a hand to the back of his head, cringing as he touched the bloody spot.

"Figured there was a reason it stung so bad," Cel admitted and looked to Hogan, "Do you mind healing it?"

"Yes, I mind," Hogan scoffed.

"You're seriously not going to heal him?" Harry wondered in astonishment, Hogan looked rather unwavering.

"Nope. I don't heal people who call me an idiot."

"So then you must not heal a lot of people," Myriam quipped irritably, still trying to calm Flan who had finally stopped crying but just rocked as he mumbled quietly.

"This is a hospital, go find another Healer," Hogan waved them off as his tone took on a nasty edge once more, "I just wanted you to see the damage you did to my nephew, to your mentor's only child. And don't give me that he volunteered for it crap, he'd help anyone because he's dumb as goat shit and too nice not to help someone unless of course that person is his own father. He didn't know any better but you did and you let him do this, this is on you and that's without touching upon the fact your sick twisted excuse for a son is at least partly responsible for butchering my brother's little boy. How do you live with yourself, Harry? Not even Flan deserved this."

"How do you? You're a hypocrite."

"Least I can see what's right in front of me," Hogan quipped and for a split second, Harry could've thought his eyes drifted to Cel.

"Gamnanort!" Flan burst out abruptly before laughing, smiling once more as he looked between them, "Groznadama zytun mylarka toop."

"Come on, let's find someone else to heal you," Harry spoke up, aware of Cel's head still bleeding and kind of wanted to not be there anymore. He led his friend away, his heart sinking further with every step while Flan babbled madly along behind him.

---

Maurice lay miserably in bed as he had been since being released from the hospital, lying on his side facing away from the door even though he knew it wasn't the most strategic direction to be facing. He was not in the mood to care though and it wouldn't matter anyway, he couldn't take his eyes off the bandaged stump where his left hand used to be. Where his left hand should be. But it was gone now, his former mentor – who would die for this, rest assured - had taken it from him, had taken his hand. It hurt. Mentally rather than physically, he just felt hurt.

He was distracted by the light from the window – although he had the curtains drawn - being blocked off, he shifted his oceanic eyes to see his twin standing there in the way with a bowl of presumably soup if the other bowls were anything to go by. He hadn't eaten, he wasn't hungry but they kept bringing him soup anyway. Orous was speaking but Maurice didn't bother touching his necklace, he didn't care what his brother – he still didn't know what Pyrrhus had meant by that – had to say, he just wasn't interested. Besides, usually he would hold his necklace with his left hand keeping his right dominant hand free in case he needed to draw his wand. He didn't have a left hand anymore though.

'I brought you soup,' Orous signed instead after putting the bowl down.

"I lost my hand not my eyes," Maurice snapped at him irritably and Orous looked disheartened, he just wanted to be left alone.

'You need to eat.'

"Piss off."

'Are you ready to return to Hogwarts tomorrow?'

"Sure, it's so easy to pack with one hand," Maurice barked at him angrily and Orous sighed, "I'll get it done, I didn't remove much from my trunk anyway."

'Do you want some help?'

"No."

'You can talk to me, you know?' Orous offered with a sympathetic expression.

"For the last time, I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone."

'Look, I know you're hurting right now,' Orous signed the blatantly obvious and Maurice could only glare at him darkly, why couldn't he go back to not wanting to spend time with him, 'But you need to pull yourself together, it's horrible but it's just a hand. When it heals a bit more you can get prosthetics, you'll still be able to move it and stuff. Plus you're right-handed so you still have your dominant arm.'

"I know that but I don't care," Maurice insisted darkly, "I don't want a prosthetic hand, I want my hand. I want my hand back. My own hand. I need my hand."

'Professor Longbottom manages alright with a prosthetic for his arm.'

"Professor Longbottom isn't also deaf!" Maurice yelled at him in frustration or at least he hoped he was yelling while tears pricked his eyes, "Maybe it's not a big deal for you but it is for me. With a prosthetic you can move your hand sure but you can't feel it, you can't feel if something has a texture or if it's soft or hard or grainy or hot or cold, you can't feel it. I'm already deaf, Orous, and usually I'm okay with that but it is a sense that I'm down. I can't hear and now I can't feel? Why don't you just gouge out my eyes, shove sand in my nose and cut out my tongue so that I have nothing. I know that sounds really stupid when I say it out loud and I shouldn't care about it but I do, it bothers me to think I can't feel a thing."

'It's not stupid, Maurice, you're allowed to feel things, you're allowed to feel hurt. But you do till have your other hand, you know that right?'

"Stop trying to make me feel better, you jackass," Maurice spat at him miserably.

Orous sighed, seeming to realize – finally – that he was fighting a losing battle. He didn't leave though. Instead he took Maurice's remaining hand gently, giving it a tight comforting squeeze for a minute as if to assure him that it was still there or that he was still there or both before leaving. He flexed his fingers and glanced once more at the stump where he so fervently wished there was a hand. If only he'd fought better, it hurt to think he only had himself to blame really. If he couldn't save his own hand, how was he supposed to save the world? He wanted his hand back, he wanted his girlfriend back. He didn't like loss. He tore his eyes away from the stump, instead he buried his face in his pillow and cried.

---

Part 2: Failure

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Scorpius returned to the hideout feeling immensely disappointed by the whole trip, all that for nothing, he'd gotten his hopes up for nothing. He returned home in defeat after making sure Molly was alright, she was still resting. He spent some time with the toddlers at home, lamenting both Sol and Lysel were missing a relative – a cousin and father – who he wished they could see. He thought Calderon would like Sol and he knew Leebin loved his son, he was doubtful either would see the toddlers again though just as he was doubtful Crescentius would meet his nephew. Why couldn't the world just leave everyone alone?

The next day was the last before he'd be back to Hogwarts so he made sure to pack in readiness, not that there was much considering Easter break wasn't very long. He did have some chocolate eggs to bring back that he was sure his friends – mostly Albus – would enjoy though, he wished Antonius could enjoy them too. He didn't even want to go back to Hogwarts, he wanted to stay with Gray to fight the Shadows. Even though it had amounted to nothing, it was closer to progress then he was failing at apparation and Quidditch. He trudged downstairs through the manor and was surprised to find Myriam leaving in a hurry.

"What's up with her?" Scorpius wondered in confusion to his parents.

"They found her husband, he's in St Mungo's so she's going to see him," his mother offered quietly to Scorpius' incredible surprise, her eyes drifted anxiously to where the children played. Maurene was having a tea party with the boys it seemed.

"Is… Is he alright? What happened?"

"The letter didn't say, I told you all I know."

Scorpius nodded in understanding and headed back upstairs, wondering what in the world had happened. Had the Aurors actually done something useful? How? More like the Shadows had willingly given him up, maybe he'd caved but since Calderon wasn't there they had no more use for him. But then why not just kill him? He wanted Leebin to live but the Shadows had no reason to. He portkeyed back over to the hideout and was relieved to find Varanian immediately in the kitchen with Annie, they were laughing about something before he came in.

"What happened?" Scorpius questioned immediately, "I heard Leebin was found?"

"He was," Varanian answered, sobering instantly, "After we left the farmhouse some major things went down."

"You know, if there was an award for pleasantries and small talk then you two would lose," Annie pointed out and gestured to each of them, "Not only would you lose but you'd be the last because you two are literally the worst, mutes could do better than you."

"Are you done?" Varanian wondered and she nodded before going back to sipping a cup of coffee while Varanian turned back to him, "Leebin must've told the Shadows because they also came looking for Calderon, there was a duel but they started to retreat quite early as they must've realized Calderon wasn't there. James Potter lost his mask in the fight revealing himself to be a Shadow, Carver Edwards apparently tried to help the Aurors and based off what you said about Martha I think he might've been the sibling helping Florian which was why he wasn't part of the attack force and shouldn't have been there. He probably came alone for Florian and got caught up in the battle, he was mistakenly killed and in retaliation for his death James ended up accidentally killing his cousin, Louis Weasley. Carver also passed on Leebin's location before he died so the Aurors raided their base, they saved Leebin and he's in St Mungo's."

"How is he?" Scorpius wondered, both out of concern and hope he'd know something. He resisted the urge to sigh sadly, he'd liked Louis.

"Not good," Annie said with a shake of her head, "He's been tortured extensively both magically and non, they've done a good job keeping him alive to suffer more so he should live. He'll be scarred but he'll live."

"Then that's good, right?"

"They drove him mad, Scorpius, his mind is broken," Annie told him solemnly and Scorpius felt is spirits sinking once more, "He'll probably spend the rest of his life in a mental institution or whatever wizards have instead."

"But that's not fair," Scorpius blurted out stupidly, knowing it was irrational but still feeling hurt, "He survived, he should get to be okay and live and see his family."

"He can see his family, he just won't know who they are because he doesn't even understand English anymore let alone have any awareness of who he is or who he's related to."

"I'm sorry," Varanian offered gently and Scorpius hung his head.

"Is err… Is Molly in?"

"In her room."

Scorpius nodded in understanding and headed upstairs, his feet dragging disappointedly along behind him. They hadn't managed to save Calderon, they hadn't managed to save Leebin, Louis had died. All Scorpius did was fail. He paused on the landing to press his face to his hands, trying to swallow the lump in his throat and quell the tears pricking at the back of his eyes. Molly had lost her cousin, his failures didn't compare to that so he needed to be composed. He took a deep breath and moved his hands away, finally moving on to knock at her door.

"It's open," Molly called distractedly and Scorpius went in. She was sitting on her bed, leaning back against the pillows with her knees hugged to her chest. Her eyes were red as if she'd been crying but her tears had dried now, "Hey Scor."

"How you holding up?" Scorpius asked gently as he closed the door behind him, going to sit beside her and putting his arm around her to rub it soothingly.

"Not too bad I guess," Molly shrugged, still looking unhappy but she nestled herself against him anyway, "I've already lost my mother, my father, my uncle Charlie, my aunt Fleur, my grandfather so why not my cousin?"

"I'm sorry," Scorpius told her sincerely and held her close, he knew Louis from Quidditch after all, "Louis was a good person."

"And James killed him."

"Is it weird I'm not surprised?" Scorpius wondered truthfully, "He was never a good person."

"No, he's not. If he kills again his soul will turn black and he'll truly fall to the Shadows, until then he has a chance," Molly told him distantly and he glanced at her in surprise.

"How do you know that?"

"I just know random things sometimes," Molly scoffed before sighing, "Like I know Freddie and Caitlin's unborn baby is a girl, I know the Ballycastle Bats will win the British and Irish Quidditch League this year, I know Varanian will propose to Annie, I know some woman named Claudia is relevant somehow, I know it will rain tomorrow. I know this useless random crap but I don't know anything important like who the Shadow Master is or where Calderon is being held or how to save Antonius or oh yeah, that my cousin was going to die. It's so frustrating, I don't know how my grandfather did it."

"What makes you think he was any better at seeing relevant things?" Scorpius queried curiously.

"Because in my mother's childhood home there's a letter addressed to Molly Mavis Weasley to be opened in 2024 that was written when Voldemort was still in power," Molly told him casually and Scorpius froze in shock, feeling rather disturbed all of a sudden, "Oh yes and I know it exists because Roman's seen it, the day his parents died two weeks before his tenth birthday and he's almost thirty-six now. Magnus knew and if he could know that much that far away… I should be able to be more useful."

"You are useful, Molly," Scorpius assured her seriously, "Magnus was an adult, he had years to hone his Seer abilities. You're not even nineteen yet, you can't compare yourself to him."

"But I have to, Scor, because I don't have time," Molly insisted, looking afraid for a moment before composing herself again, "I mean there might not be anyone left to save by the time I learn how to get useful information."

"We could say that of all of us, we failed to save Leebin."

"I told you we wouldn't."

"My point is it's not your fault, not seeing something doesn't mean it's your fault if someone dies," Scorpius insisted, "It's not any of our faults, we're only human and we're doing the best we can."

"Yet you still feel a failure," Molly pointed out.

"It's not the same thing," Scorpius said determinedly and Molly sighed before leaning back against him, he started rubbing her shoulder comfortingly again as they sat in silence staring aimlessly off out the window opposite. He missed this now she wasn't in Hogwarts, being able to speak to her and just be close to her.

"I miss it too," Molly muttered.

---

Michael was having a lousy Easter, the entire week he'd been stuck grappling with the decision on whether to save John or not. He didn't want to save him. He didn't like John, he didn't want anything to do with John, he didn't want his family to have anything to do with John. But then letting him die was wrong even though – maybe especially because - John wanted to die, who was Michael to decide who lived and died anyway? John hadn't really done anything to deserve death – at least as far as Michael knew – and his death would hurt his family contrary to what John believed, they were quite taken with his… whatever non-existent positive quality they liked about him.

Still though, he needed a drink and the day before he return to Hogwarts he came to realize that he knew what he had do. He was just putting it off because he didn't want to but he would, he just hoped he wouldn't end up living to regret it. And so that night he headed back upstairs to where John was resting with his raspy breathing, Michael pulled up his shirt and poured the contents of the vial of cure onto the wound.

John's eyes shot open in shock but it was too late and Michael already had his wand out, he focused and nonverbally forced the cure to move inside him. John gasped but Michael zoned out any sound or movement he was making, mentally focusing on his knowledge of the human body and guiding the cure through it like he'd seen Rojer do to rid Scorpius of that poison. At least he hoped so, for all he knew he was failing and the cure was just stuck somewhere but he couldn't focus on that. Finally, John's body arched as Michael forced it out of his mouth. He watched as it shot out into the air like a burst of fireworks just one with moldy silver sparks, they disintegrated into the air like it had never been there at all. John fell back breathing heavily and looking extremely drained while Michael pocketed his wand.

"What the hell-"

"I know you don't want to live but I don't care," Michael cut him off and the cerulean eyes glowered at him darkly, "I don't even like you but I saved you anyway because it's the right thing to do, just like it's the right thing to do for you to not kill yourself. And if you are going to do it then at least have the decency to look my mother in the eye and tell her why because for some inexplicable reason those people downstairs do care about you, you may have no obligation to help them but you still chose to so you owe them a reason why you're going to abandon them like this because that is exactly what you're doing if you kill yourself. Except unlike all those times when my dad abandoned me, you won't be able to come back if you change your mind."

Michael didn't wait for nor care for John's response, he stalked back downstairs irritably where Crystal was cleaning dishes. He threw away the now empty vial and Crystal noticed him, looking extremely anxious.

"What's wrong?" Michael wondered distractedly and she nodded to the radio which was not playing.

"Said on the radio a minute ago that Mexico has fallen to the Shadows now," Crystal explained and Michael did feel a pang of concern himself, he sighed but pushed aside thoughts of them. This wasn't the time.

"I saved John's life," Michael announced and her head shot back to him in surprise, "It was Alchemy, I brought it back with me from Hogwarts."

"What? Why did you wait so long?" Crystal wondered in confusion.

"Because your not-boyfriend is suicidal so you may want to watch that," Michael pointed out before turning on his heel, leaving her jaw to drop as he had to go pack his trunk, "Night."

---

Scorpius clung to the last fragments of moments with Molly before reluctantly having to leave, returning home and only feeling worse seeing Leebin's kids. And Myriam, looking extremely disheartened after visiting her husband, apparently Annie was right about his state of mind. He drifted off that night into an uneasy sleep where he found Antonius, except he too had been driven mad. He and Leebin had to be locked up except as soon as they were, they became sane again and begged to be let out but it was too late. They died there for some reason. He was glad to wake up and then it was the return to Hogwarts.

His grandmother actually had to show up for breakfast despite the werewolves to say goodbye to him, the Leebins actually went with him to the platform because the kids were excited to see it. They hadn't been told about their father it seemed as they were in good spirits, Scorpius didn't envy that conversation. Like earlier at the start of the year, he let Sol ride on the trolley except this time with the other two. They enjoyed it and Scorpius was glad although it wasn't enough, it didn't make up for the fact they'd lost their father to insanity. They were actually quite late though having to get the kids ready and it was raining so Scorpius didn't have much time after arriving to find his friends or say goodbye, he could only say hi in passing to Michael, Abby, Vern and Maurice – who had his left arm in a sling – as they went off to the prefect compartment.

He got a compartment with Albus, Rose, Corin, Orous and Lily was joining them as well apparently to sit with her boyfriend. Orous filled them in what had happened with Florian and about Mexico falling while the Potters and Weasley seemed quiet, presumably because of Louis' death and James' betrayal. Corin did most of the talking after that, bragging about how wonderful Easter in Beauxbatons was although Scorpius got the impression his tales were geared more for keeping their minds off things for once. It was still raining when they arrived, he tried to get a carriage with some of his prefect friends since he hadn't seen them and Michael filled him in on what had happened with John while Maurice ignored them completely. It wasn't until they were back in the castle where he became very animated.

"HEY MARTHA!" Maurice screamed abruptly.

Scorpius jolted in surprise and saw Martha ahead of them turning at the sound of her name, Maurice had already grabbed her arm with his only remaining hand to haul her into a nearby abandoned classroom. Scorpius hurried in after them, Martha had whipped out her wand and already fired a spell at Maurice who was dodging it. He jumped in between them in panic, holding up an arm in the direction of each of them to keep them apart.

"What the hell?!" Scorpius demanded of the both of them, both looking quite irate.

"He attacked me!" Martha protested defensively but did lower her wand, "Self-defense."

"Tell me where your uncle is!" Maurice demanded of her, looking very torn between drawing his wand or touching his necklace but was forced to settle on the latter.

"I don't know where he is."

"Liar!" Maurice barked at her but she seemed unfazed, "Tell me the truth or I'll torture you and I'll do a much better job than whatever idiotic untrained Shadow boy they have running around here!"

"No you won't!" Scorpius snapped at him but he was ignored.

"No you won't and even if you did it would be a waste of time because I don't know, not that I'd tell you anyway," Martha stated firmly, "He's on the run, you bloody lunatic, he doesn't stay in one place or he'd be caught. He's mad not stupid."

"He is stupid!" Maurice insisted angrily, "He cut off my hand and I'm going to murder him so don't stand in my way!"

"Maurice, seriously back off!" Scorpius complained at him before glancing back to her, "Although you now if you did know something, it would be really good of you to tell us if you still want to help."

"My brother tried to help and now he's dead," Martha said in a firm but quiet tone and he saw the tears building behind her cloudy gray eyes at the mention of him.

"I'm sorry about Carver," Scorpius offered gently and one of the tears rolled down her cheek, he'd completely forgotten about James' friend dying, "He was the one helping Florian, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

"Did they get Calderon?"

"I don't know, Scorpius," Martha insisted, "I was in contact with Carver not Pyrrhus, I haven't heard from him and I don't expect too. If I'm not even aware of the whole plan, why would be keep me to date on his progress?"

"I don't believe you," Maurice spat irrationally.

"Maurice, you're being ridiculous," Scorpius said pointedly but his friend did finally seem calm enough for him to lower his arms.

"I don't give a damn what you believe," Martha shot back and moved away, wiping her eye hastily, "So just leave me alone."

"Also, do you know Pyrrhus meant when he said I'd be killing my own brother if I killed all his family in revenge?" Maurice questioned and Scorpius felt his gut tie itself into an uncomfortable knot.

"Ask Scorpius," Martha said the words he hadn't wanted to hear so dismissively as she stalked out of the room while Maurice turned on him in surprise.

"What is she talking about?!"

"You erm… You know how Florian defected for something to do with his son?" Scorpius offered vaguely and Maurice nodded, "The boy is named Oathan Loren, Alzay is his mother so he's your half-brother."

"I have another brother?" Maurice wondered as his jaw dropped open.

"No you have three."

"Three?! Alzay had three more kids?!"

"She had two, Oathan by Florian and Vathan by Rabastan Lestrange. He's in Brutus' care now, they're about four and five," Scorpius informed him, wringing his hands nervously as he remembered what she'd said, "The third is from Roman, the son Leila Akram was searching for is his. His name is Cyrus, he's blind and can speak multiple languages so that's why Stephan's using him."

"How… When… She told you this that time she made me leave the room, didn't she?" Maurice questioned, looking actually lost for words as he ogled him in disbelief.

"Yes."

"You've known for weeks and you didn't think to tell me I had three brothers?!" Maurice screamed at him as his anger returned.

"I… I wasn't sure how you'd react…" Scorpius offered lamely.

Before he could think about it, Maurice had cocked back his fist and slammed it into his face. Scorpius fell back against the wall with his jaw now throbbing painfully, Maurice threw him a murderous look before stalking out without another word.

"Good going," Michael quipped from the doorway, reminding him of Annie before he offered him a hand up.

"Well I didn't expect that to go well anyway," Scorpius admitted and sighed, "Let's just get to dinner."

---

"Look at them," Oathan commented and pointed out of the window, they were in the backseat of a car once more and Antonius glanced disinterestedly to see them passing by a muggle schoolyard where children were playing.

"What about them?" Antonius wondered without interest, vaguely recalling when he went to a muggle school.

"They're normal kids," Oathan stated the brutally obvious.

"Yes they are."

"We're not like them, are we?" Oathan queried as he glanced back to him, his violet eyes had a twinge of regret as they caught Antonius' and he did find himself able to relate.

"No, we're not," Antonius admitted sadly, "I used to be though. Once. Back when I was about your age, when my mum didn't know about magic and my parents were still together, when I had friends my own age and we played stupid kid games, when I was in regular school trying hard to get a smiley face sticker and Uncle Jasper as alive. It's hard to remember it now, it feels like another life compared to what things are like now when everything's serious, life or death, war and darkness, pain and betrayal."

"We're here," Florian announced as the car came to a halt in between two cars that seemed to be crookedly parked, Antonius wiped his eyes quickly.

Antonius didn't see why he said that as upon letting them out of the car, he disapparated with them to somewhere else. They were always on the move, never stopping, never slowing. Now they were on a beach, golden sands stretched out around them with the deep cerulean waves lapping against it.

"Oh yay, I like the beach!" Oathan exclaimed excitedly as Florian started leading them away, presumably to a more secluded area since they didn't want muggles to see them practicing magic.

"My dad used to like the beach," Florian admitted in a solemn tone, "He liked to see all those little boys in bathing suits… He'd take it out on us though of course. How I loathed the beach, so many horrible memories."

"Why would he like that about the beach?" Antonius wondered in utter confusion that Oathan seemed to share in and Florian paused in surprise, turning back to him oddly with tears in his eyes.

He ogled him for a second as if trying to decide how likely it was he was honest before it shifted to a sad smile, he patted his shoulder comfortingly as if he'd forgotten – he probably had – that he'd murdered his uncle and was despised by Antonius.

"Never lose that innocence, boy," Florian offered before continuing on, "And be glad you don't know, be glad that you have those happy memories to hold onto as well. Not everyone does."

"Does that make you feel better about killing people? Thinking they have happy memories?" Antonius uttered irritably as they stopped in an area hidden somewhat by the cliffs and rocks, Florian rounded on him.

"Look, I'm doing the best I can, okay? That wrist scars are removed from the five now thanks mostly to new favorite niece so your friends no longer have to die, that's five lives saved," Florian insisted defensively, "Now we have a month and a half before the Shadow Master gets here, before she lays waste to this country and destroys the lives of those 'normal' kids by enslaving them, by enslaving everyone. Unless you master that spell to summon the Scepter and we find her brother, this country will soon be a bloodbath and is that really want you want, Antonius? Would you rather live in the world of the Shadows or die saving it? I know you hate me, fine I get it but that doesn't mean I'm wrong or that my plan is bad."

"Can't he not die?" Oathan asked innocently.

"Not without worsening our chances of success, we only get one shot at this because if it fails then she kills us all and takes the wand back so the best possible chances even though Carver- Carver…" Florian paused at the name and choked on a sob, "I'm so sorry, Carver."

Florian then buried his face in his hands as he burst into tears. Oathan gave his father a hug and Antonius tried to inch away, seeing it as a possible chance for escape. He found himself hesitating though, was the Shadow Master really going to attack England so soon? Was it really down to him? If Florian was telling the truth about sparing his friends then… well was the plan really so horrible apart from it coming from two evil maniacs? Antonius still wasn't sure but the uncertainty stopped him fleeing. Instead he patiently waited for Florian to calm down, giving his boy a cuddle and wiping his eyes.

"Come on, we need to practice," Florian croaked as he withdrew Antonius' wand.

---

Part 3: What Has To Be Done

---

Xerxes was still finding himself rather lonely without his children, Carver turned nine and had a wand now, Martha turned three. They were all getting so grown up. He started drinking more when trawling for women in bars, he did have more time to do that now his kids are busier with the Training Tower. It was the summer when he met the young barely of age Alayna Dawson, beautiful and blond who was doing an internship at the Daily Prophet. He didn't think much more of her – he was so drunk at the time he barely even remembered her - then anyone else until she contacted him a few months later.

Dear Xerxes,

I am writing to inform you that I am pregnant with your child, I've decided to keep the baby and feel obligated to tell you as much. If you'd like to be involved, I'm open to it and if you don't then I'm fine with that. Let me know or I won't be contacting you again.

Yours sincerely,

Alayna

Xerxes was delighted to be having another child, his seventh. Magical number seven, he still had it. He wrote her back immediately and arranged to meet her as soon as possible to work things out, he agreed to give her financial support and share in raising his baby but not be a couple. It was only after that he wondered whether getting involved like this with a reporter when he was working for an unground shady group. He pushed it aside though, what was the worst that could happen really? Carver's mother wanted him back yet again that winter just because her new boyfriend thought it was a good idea, he doubted that would last. The boy was getting really whiny lately, so what his mother had a loser for a boyfriend? What did Carver expect? She was too stupid and ugly to get a decent guy, he tended to just zone out when he complained about Pegasus. A stupid name if Xerxes had ever heard one, it was a horse's name.

His seventh child and fifth son was born on the first day of March, they settled on the name Davin Aldous and she insisted on her own last name but he could live with that. He had a new baby to fawn over and care for, he was the greatest at being a dad. Life started to settle into a new routine, now including his new youngest son. Weeks turned to months and Xerxes was feeling good about life again, the Soul Eaters were really starting to gear up to starting their plans. Stephan was getting more responsibility, he was a teenager now. Xerxes couldn't believe it, his kids were growing up. Before he knew it another year had flown by and then he got Ethan's Hogwarts letter, the boy had technically been born in England so was on their list. As if he was going to let his son go to Hogwarts when they were planning on targeting it soon, it was his say for his motherless son and he said no.

---

"Let me help you with that!" Crystal blurted out immediately and rushed to help John with the dishes, regretting deciding to do them after going to the toilet since he'd started on them at all.

Yes, I'm sure his desire to kill himself revolves around the dishes, Bob's voice quipped sarcastically inside her mind before turning angry, How dumb can you be, you stupid bitch?!

"It's fine, Crystal, I got it," John brushed her off as he finished them.

Freaking hell! You didn't even help him with the dishes?! What is wrong with you?! Now he's going to kill himself because you're such a lazy, ungrateful prick who didn't help him!

"Don't look so devastated, they're just dishes," John offered and Crystal realized her upset must've showed on her face, "I'm glad to be able to do them again."

"Well let me at least help put them away," Crystal insisted and desperately snatched the pile of plates away from him before he could object.

Despite being cured she thought it would take a while before he was back to full strength. He gave her an odd luck but let her have them, instead starting to put away the glasses. She breathed a small sigh of relief and set to putting the plates away.

What do you want? A medal? You did one pathetic thing, Bob's voice taunted, You're worthless. Your son hates you for giving him such a crappy life, our elder daughter has half a face because you failed to protect her, our younger daughter is missing two fingers because you failed again to protect her, our younger son barely speaks because… you don't even know why because you're that shit a parent and you've driven the one guy in the world you like and owe more than anyone to want to commit suicide! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WHORE?!

Crystal started in shock at the yelling in her mind, accidentally dropping the dishes. The plates she held fall to the floor and shattered into thousands of little white triangles. She practically threw herself down to start cleaning it up while Bob's voice exploded in her mind.

AND NOW YOU BROKE HIS PLATES?! OH MY FUCKING GOD, CRYSTAL, COULD YOU BE ANYMORE USELESS!? HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF NOW HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY PLATES! WHY DID YOU DO THIS AFTER ALL HE'S DONE FOR YOU?!

"I'm sorry!" Crystal cried desperately as she burst into tears, "I'm so sorry."

Saying sorry doesn't make it better, Crystal!

"Its fine, Crystal, relax. They're just plates," John assured her and took her arms, pulling her gently to her feet. He then whipped out his wand and waved them over the shards, they repaired themselves immediately as if she'd never dropped them, "See? It's all fixed now anyway."

"I'm sorry," Crystal apologized again and tried to wipe her eyes, she wished she wasn't crying right now, "Let me get-"

"I got it," John cut her off and levitated the plates back onto the counter, "Wizard, remember?"

Can you do nothing right?! Bob's voice ranted at her, Of course he's suicidal when he bloody has to do everything for you because you're such a lazy slut!

"Just because you're a wizard, it doesn't mean that you should have to do everything," Crystal blurted out fearfully and he gave her an odd look, "Relax, let me do stuff. Do things that make you happy, just focus only on things that make you happy. Anything that doesn't, its gone, if we annoy then we're gone. You've done more than enough for us already and you've only just got better and if you need anything just let me help you because I'll do it, I'll do anything-"

"Michael told you, didn't he?" John interrupted and Crystal averted her eyes before his cerulean ones could catch hers, "Look, I'm not going to kill myself."

"You're not?" Crystal wondered and looked back to him hopefully, he tensed.

"I said I'd help you and I will, until the Shadows are gone or one of us dead I will."

"And what about after that?"

"After that it doesn't matter, does it?" John countered as she caught his eyes.

"Yes it does. I... I care about and I don't want you to die, and I don't want you to want to die either," Crystal said carefully and John averted his eyes uncomfortably, she fidgeted awkwardly and noticed his hand was still touching hers at the same time he did. They both jolted apart in alarm as if burned, "I-Y-You're a good person and you shouldn't… You deserve to be happy and you can't… you can't do that if you're dead."

"I'm not a good person, I was a Death-"

"The Death Eaters are gone, John," Crystal interrupted more forcefully then she'd meant to and he glanced back to her, "And I'm not talking about who you were, I'm talking about who you are."

"I've said all I wanted to say on the matter. Goodnight, Crystal," John offered and promptly walked away.

Great job failing at helping him you pathetic excuse for a person, Bob's voice spat inside her mind, You're the worst. If anyone should kill themselves its you, it'd be a blessing to everyone if they didn't have to put up with you anymore because you're the worst

---

"I hate to say this, mate but I feel like you're settling," one of Pegasus' friends was complaining as they lounged around drinking Firewhisky for his bachelor party, Carver was responsible for refilling their glasses, "An ugly old broad with a fat kid? I mean come on. You can do better, Peg."

"I know I could do better," Pegasus insisted with a smirk twisting his face, "But you see ugly old broads with fat kids are more desperate, they'll do anything for you. Like watch this- Hey Pig-fat! Get over here."

"What?" Carver questioned testily as he strode back over, Pegasus handed him his half-empty glass.

"Go put that over on the bookcase," Pegasus commanded and gestured for him to hurry before increasing his volume, "Oh Mary! I need you!"

Carver heaved a sigh as he put the glass onto the bookcase as told, it was easier to just not fight him. You could try but he'd find fault with it anyway. There was a loud thundering of footsteps and a second later his mum burst into the room, a saccharine smile on her face as she saw her fiancé, Carver rolled his eyes while she stroked her hair.

"Yes, baby?" his mum – who evidently still was allowing him to call her by the wrong name – questioned.

"Your son took my drink and put it up there on the bookcase," Pegasus informed her, "It's rather inconvenient, do you think you could fetch it for me?"

"Of course-"

"No," Pegasus cut her off when she made to walk over, "I'd like you to levitate it over magically, this is my bachelor party and I want to keep it classy."

"But I'm not very good at levitation."

"Don't you love me?" Pegasus asked, feigning hurt and causing his mum to look upset.

"I love you! I love you more than anything!"

"If you really loved me then you'd just be good at levitation and do it."

"O-Okay, I'll do it," his mum agreed desperately as she whipped out her wand hastily and Carver pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, what was wrong with her? He only looked up when he heard shattering glass, seeing she'd apparently screwed up the spell and dropped the glass, "Oh no, no, no, no, no, I'm so sor-"

"What are you waiting for, Mary?" Pegasus questioned of her irritably, "Clean it up!"

"Yes! Yes! Of course, Pegasus, I'll just get my wand!" his mum burst out and rushed off with her wand still in hand, the men watched her leave before erupting into laughter.

"You sure have found a crazy one!" one of his friends laughed.

"Hey Blobbo, get me another glass and pour some more," Pegasus commanded of Carver and Carver threw him a dark look but did as told, his future stepfather lowered his voice, "And don't worry, I'll remember to punish you later for putting my glass on the bookcase."

"But you told me to-" Carver started to insist uselessly as Pegasus had already made up his mind on how events had transpired.

"Maybe you should cut her some slack though, you are marrying that girl," one of the other soberer ones said, cutting him off as he hadn't heard their hushed conversation.

"I forgot I already have it!" his mum exclaimed as she rushed back in, Pegasus shook his head at her before standing and withdrawing his and used a cleaning spell to quickly clean up the spilled Firewhiskey.

"There, I cleaned that up for you even though you caused it," Pegasus told her as he approached, cupping her face in his hands, "Because I love you, because I'm a good fiancé. And don't you ever forget it."

"I know, Pegasus, you're the best. I won't forget."

---

Scorpius was thrown back into the grind of Hogwarts quickly enough, the only difference was Maurice was now no longer speaking to him. His streak of failure also continued as the first apparation lesson back he continued to flunk at despite the fact most people were succeeding, he couldn't even sign up for the extra apparation classes because of his August birthday. He felt like he hadn't accomplished anything lately, Antonius was still missing, Calderon was still a prisoner, Leebin was insane, Louis was dead and Scorpius failed at everything. The Shadows launched their next attack on Japan during the next week, another country he suspected soon would bite the dust.

He was feeling incredibly frustrated about it all, he wasn't even the best in his spellwork classes anymore because now Maurice was in their year who just surpassed everyone. Although Maurice was struggling in other classes for the first time, being one handed for wandwork was fine - you only used one anyway – but others were more hands on at least in the practical aspects and he either needed help – which he refused – or just had to watch and hope for written work. Scorpius didn't think it contributed well to the deaf boy's poor mood lately and short temper, he knew he should feel more sympathetic but he wasn't in the mood for it. He also had other thoughts creeping in like what Molly had said before, like Martha being relevant to the next Hogsmeade trip. He should probably try talk to her at some point but he hadn't seen her around much, she was probably grieving for Carver even though he was a jerk.

To distract himself from it all, Scorpius found he was rather preoccupied with Quidditch. Being in the air was the only time he could truly clear his mind and obsessively focusing on the best way to train his team did keep his thoughts on something other than his utter failure at helping anyone in the world that he cared about. The next week was the second to last apparation lesson, Scorpius was one of the pitifully few who had yet to succeed. Of his friends, only Abby had also yet to apparate after that class. If Scorpius didn't succeed at it in the final class then he wouldn't be able to take the apparation test and would have to take the classes again next year, he couldn't imagine that happening though surely not him. He was good at magic, he was good at non-verbal magic. He didn't struggle with schoolwork.

"Just relax, Scor, you're stressing yourself out," Albus offered as they went in for their final apparation lesson.

"What do you know about it?" Scorpius scoffed irritably as he paced anxiously.

"I know how to apparate," Albus countered and Scorpius buried his face in his hands, Albus clapped him on the back comfortingly though, "Come on, mate, you'll get it. Just stop getting yourself so worked up."

"Okay, I got it," Scorpius said with a nod as he looked up, taking a deep breath to try calm himself.

And Scorpius focused on his last apparation lesson, willing himself into the hoop until he was sure his face was red while all around him the frustrating popping of his classmates could be heard like a fireworks display. He tried to block it out though, he tried. He cleared his mind, he turned on the spot and finally heard a loud crack exceptionally close to him. Had… Had he done it? Did apparation feel different when you did it yourself? Scorpius opened his eyes and saw his area was still marked on the ground in front of him.

"I did it!" Abby burst out happily and Scorpius shifted his eyes to her where she'd apparated beside him, "I did it! For the first time, I did it!"

"Well done," Scorpius offered through gritted teeth as he forced a smile, he was glad for her really but just… why wasn't he also succeeding at that? For the rest of the class Abby – and everyone – seemed to continue to improve while he… he did not.

"I notice you haven't managed to apparate," a woman's voice stated icily and Scorpius turned to see Cistro the Auror come apparation teacher had approached him, a seemingly permanent scowl of disapproval etched into her face or at least when looking at him, "Not once over the whole twelve week course. Had you realized that, Malfoy?"

"I realized."

"You're the only one in the class who hasn't. Did you know that?"

"I'll get it, okay?" Scorpius insisted testily while the bell went to signal the end of the session, a smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"I don't think so because that means the course has ended," Cistro pointed out smugly, "Better luck next year, Malfoy."

"I failed," Scorpius admitted as everyone else started filing out of the Great Hall, hanging his head in shame.

"It's not the end of the world," Michael offered gently and patted him on the shoulder, he was worn out from the full moon coming tomorrow. Yet he'd still managed to apparate, "So what you have to do it next year?"

"So what?!" Scorpius spluttered out as he turned on him in astonishment and anger, "Maybe you just don't understand because you're a muggle-born but in wizarding society everyone learns to apparate in their Sixth Year!"

"You can't be good at everything, Scorpius, there's going to be some things everyone struggles with."

"I didn't struggle with it, I failed! I failed completely! There's a difference! The difference is I'm a failure!" Scorpius yelled in frustration.

"What would you say if I failed and had to take the classes again next year?" Michael wondered, his eyebrow rising curiously.

"Well that's different," Scorpius scoffed, not seeing how it was relevant.

"Why? Why is it different? Because it's you? Because you think you're better than everyone else?"

"I don't think I'm better than everyone else!" Scorpius insisted defensively and unhappily, "I just know I'm good at magic, I know I should be able to do this but I can't! I'm a pureblood, I'm a Malfoy, to flunk apparation is… is shameful."

---

Pegasus and Maeghan – Carver didn't care what that jerk said, that was her true name and it was wrong and insulting of him to manipulate her into not using it – were married that November because Pegasus wanted there to be white wedding in a white wonderland of snow. Carver hated it, he hated the wedding, he hated the people at the wedding but most of all he hated the person she was marrying. He thought literally anyone would be better than Pegasus, Pegasus didn't want a woman to love, he wanted a woman to control and unfortunately the person dumb and desperate enough to fall for his crap happened to be his mother.

The only bright side really was that they went away on their honeymoon so Carver got to stay with his dad, his thousand siblings. Well six but it felt more like a thousand and predictably they were no fun; the teenage Stephan no longer had time for child things and just talked about girls or soldier stuff, Viola was still a whiny brat who demanded all of her father's attention, Martha and Andreas were boring toddlers excited over nothing and Davin was just a baby. At least there was the rather dispirited Ethan, someone who he could finally confide in about Pegasus.

"That's awful," Ethan offered sympathetically, "Have you tried telling Dad?"

"What do you think?" Carver scoffed and Ethan sighed in understanding, "He reads mind but he'd never think to read ours."

"Well look on the bright side, least you're not here learning to be a solider, to kill, to hurt, tortured to learn to resist it. Least you don't have that," Ethan said sadly before trying to smile, "But hey, this time next year we'll both be in Hogwarts and away from all of this and all of that. We'll be okay then, we'll all be okay then."

"I hadn't thought of that," Carver admitted before smiling fondly at the thought, "I can't wait."

Knowledge of going to Hogwarts put him in better spirits when he had to return to Pegasus and his mum, he endured Pegasus' twisted mind games and cruelty as he clung to the hopeful thought of attending Hogwarts. For once Pegasus was actually in agreement, seeing him going to Hogwarts as the proper thing. Carver found he started to feel increasingly guilty though about having to leave his mum, sure they didn't get along but Pegasus still treated her like garbage which she didn't deserve and he hated it. He was so good at manipulating her, right now he was badgering her to have more children. Why did people want children? It continued to seem pointless to him and he kind of agreed with his mum.

"But I don't want more kids, Pegasus," his mum said one of the days, looking at her new husband pleadingly, "It's horrible being pregnant, it's painful giving birth and babies are awful. I'm telling you, having children is the worst."

"Of course you would say that, Mary," Pegasus shot out, "But you have a child already, you have a legacy but I don't. I'm the last male of my bloodline, if I die my family is wiped out, my bloodline dies forever. Is that what you want, Mary? For my bloodline to die out?"

"Of course not but-"

"But nothing, Mary!" Pegasus yelled at her and she eyed the ground uncomfortably, Carver hated him, "I love you despite your impurity, your flaws, I love you. Does that mean nothing to you? Don't you love me?!"

"I do!"

"If you loved me then you'd have a child with me, Mary!"

"Leave her alone!" Carver snapped before he could stop himself, abandoning his breakfast to come to his mum's aid, "She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do! And all this crap about love, if you really loved Maeghan – yes that is her name, not Mary! – then you'd take what she wants into account too not twist everything to get your way, you selfish prick!"

Smack! Pegasus smacked him across the face hard.

"Insolent, ungrateful brat! How dare you speak to me like that!?" Pegasus raged and struck him again, "And Mary, you allow your bastard son to behave this way?! I put up with all this because I love you and you won't even have one child for me to stop my bloodline dying out, it's like you want me to leave you!"

"No! Don't leave, Pegasus, don't leave!" his mum burst into tears, why did she have to love this guy? "CARVER, STOP DRIVING MY HUSBAND AWAY FROM ME!"

"Why don't you just think about what you really want in life, Mary, to be alone with your fat lump of a son or a man who loves you but wants a baby," Pegasus said before grabbing Carver's arm, "And you, boy, you are going to get it!"

---

Atticus Ashain paced anxiously, glancing with raw eyes at the clock when he passed it at every turn as if somehow expecting it to have magically moved ahead by more than eight measly seconds at a time. After weeks of trying to speak to Brutus it was finally time. Almost. If only time would move faster. He kept pacing though, the jostling movement was helping to stave off the sleep stabbing at his heels. He was exhausted yet every time he closed his eyes to sleep his mind came alive with anxiety, scenarios and worries for his son would start to crawl around inside his skull and he couldn't get their claws out.

"Daddy, I did my work," Cassia offered pulling him from his thoughts, he glanced to his daughter who stood in the doorway holding up the parchment in one hand.

"You did?" Atticus wondered in surprise, still not used to his daughter doing the work he set her when he asked instead of doing everything in the world first and even then he still had to nag her, "Usually only Antonius gets it done so quickly."

"I know, Daddy, I know my own brother," Cassia insisted as she handed it to him but his mind had already latched onto the first part of her sentence, "But I can do my own work too."

"You know your brother? Like what?" Atticus questioned curiously, his eyes flicking over the page disinterestedly before resting back on his daughter. He didn't know why it hadn't occurred to him before, there were things he and Brutus didn't tell their father so wasn't it entirely possible his own children had a similar dynamic? "Anything he doesn't tell me?"

"Erm…" Cassia mused thoughtfully, "His favorite color is purple but he's afraid people will think it's girly so he pretends not to have one."

"Anything else?" Atticus pushed and lowered the parchment, his daughter twitched, "And remember that he's missing and if you now something – anything – you think could possibly be important is worth mentioning because the more I know the more chance I have of saving his life."

"Like what?"

"I don't know… If I had a wand somehow," Atticus prompted and their identical eyes met, he saw the understanding in her eyes before she even opened her mouth.

"He had a wand somehow," Cassia admitted and he had to try very hard not to yell.

"Where did he get a wand?!"

"Well do you know about the Scepter?"

"The Scepter? Herpo's Scepter? The one the Shadow Master is using right now to destroy the world?"

"Yes, that one," Cassia nodded in acknowledgement, "And you know how Ashylos used part of it as a wand that he hid in the mansion place that was where Antonius and Scorpius fought for the Scepter?"

"I'm aware."

"The wand part chose Antonius and he managed to hold onto it so the Shadow Master left without it and everybody thinks it was destroyed but he has it," Cassia explained and Atticus pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please don't tell anyone, Daddy, if the Shadows find out it wasn't destroyed they might try to steal it."

"Cassia! Antonius is missing, you don't think this could be the reason?!" Atticus couldn't help but snap at his child.

"No. If they wanted the wand then why did they take him?" Cassia countered, sounding quite confident in her reasoning.

"I don't know!" Atticus protested and threw up his arms in exasperation, "But I do know it's could be relevant and you should have told me! This is important, Cassia, magic is not a toy! I can't believe he has had a wand for over a year – a wand that come from the Shadow Master's Scepter of all places! - and neither of you thought to tell me!"

"Well we thought you might take it away," Cassia said quietly, "Plus it's supposed to be a secret."

"Damn straight I'd take it away! Maybe then this wouldn't have happened!" Atticus yelled at her and she hung her head.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Cassia apologized, "I just tried to do what I thought was right like you taught us."

"I didn't teach you to keep secrets from family members!"

"What about keeping magic a secret from Skye?" Cassia wondered as she looked back up to him, he tried to flush with embarrassment.

"And you saw how well that went!"

"Why are you yelling, Daddy?"

"I'm not!" Atticus yelled irrationally and tried to strangle his anger, it wasn't helpful and he didn't have time for this, "I have to go now, I'll be back soon."

"Bye," Cassia said disheartenedly and he sighed heavily before giving her a quick hug.

"I'm still mad but you're still my daughter, we'll talk more about this when I get back. Unless you have any other secret bombshells you'd like to share with me?" Atticus inquired but she shook her head, "Bye."

Atticus headed out, having to step over that stupid dog in the process. He found his anger diminishing more with each step he took, he was still mad but it wasn't as important as finding Antonius. He could be mad when his son was safe. This wand thing was looking more and more likely to be the reason he was taken, if they knew what Florian wanted it would be easier to predict his movements and hopefully to get Antonius back. He was somewhat surprised but relieved to not be hassled by Syn on the way out again, the walk to Hogsmeade seemed to get shorter then he just had to apparate to the ruins of his childhood home. Then he could pace some more, pacing is fun.

"Atty?" a familiar voice questioned and Atticus spun to see his brother standing there, he'd acquired a tan but otherwise seemed his regular deformed face

"What took you so damn long?" Atticus barked in frustration instead of the friendly greeting he'd meant to say.

"It's hard to get away, I can't just drop everything or it'd seem suspicious," Brutus protested defensively, "I'm not even in the country right now so it's harder to get here, I came as fast as I could."

"I know," Atticus sighed and rubbed his head tiredly, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I know how rough this must be," Brutus brushed it off with a sympathetic expression, "So what did you find out that's so important?"

"I was talking to Skye about what happened to try find out any new information and she told me Antonius had a wand."

"A wand? Why did you let him have a wand so young?" Brutus wondered in confusion and Atticus waved him to silence impatiently.

"I didn't! That's my point," Atticus insisted and Brutus cocked his head to one side curiously, "I was asking Cassia about it just now before I left and she told me that not only did he have a wand but it came from the Scepter, the Ashylos' wand part of the Scepter."

"That's impossible. I was there, Scorpius cut it in half with the sword of Gryffindor so its broken," Brutus recalled immediately, "We went back to search the rubble for it but it was lost, even if they saved the pieces it should be unusable."

"Well I don't know what to tell you, Cassia seemed quite certain. Someone must've repaired it for him, I didn't think to ask."

"If that is true then it could be why Florian was after him," Brutus admitted slowly as the realization seemed to dawn on him.

"I know!" Atticus snapped without meaning to again, he was so frazzled lately, "But I am confused why Florian took him, I'd have thought you people would be the ones after the wand. What use is it to him?"

"Well scepters are a bit different to wands, this one is made up of two what we'd class at as wands plus the orb but the three are still linked magically even though she replaced the wand…" Brutus mused aloud, starting to look worried, "Florian may be able to use it to get the Scepter off her except he couldn't just use it, unless it chose him then the connection wouldn't be strong enough to trump Sal's blood connection."

"But if the wand chose Antonius like Cassia says…"

"Florian could mean to use him to get the Scepter."

"That's insane!" Atticus spluttered out in disbelief, "He's a child, how does he expect him to stand against such a powerful witch?!"

"Well Florian is insane," Brutus offered unhelpfully earning himself a scowl, "That might be why he was trying to have the kids with the scarred wrists kill though, try to make sure she's at her weakest. I don't think it would be enough though. On the bright side, if he does plan on doing this he'll have to keep Antonius alive until then so we still have a chance of saving him."

"He's keeping him alive just to throw him to the Shadow Master! That's hardly guaranteeing his safety."

"It could be worse though," Brutus said with a shrug and scratched his chin, "And better yet, if Antonius has to face her then we'll know where he'll be."

"I can't imagine it would be easy to get Antonius to… Japan is it that you're destroying right-" Atticus started to say but trailed off as something else occurred to him as Brutus averted his eyes, "Or he's just going to go after the Shadow Master when she's next in England which you happen to know."

"I… might."

"When?" Atticus pressed determinedly and Brutus shifted uncomfortably, "When, Brutus?! I have to know, my son's life depends on it!"

"If I tell you, you have to swear not to tell another soul. Do you understand?" Brutus said seriously as their identical eyes met, "No warning the Aurors, no warning Gray, no warning anyone at all."

"You can't just expect me to stand idly by and do nothing when I know my country is going to be attacked next! People's lives are at stake, innocent kids, my own-"

"We're not starting with Hogwarts if that's any consolation," Brutus interrupted to which Atticus did feel a flicker of relief.

"Well a little but it doesn't change anything!" Atticus insisted, "I'm an Auror, I can't just do nothing."

"Then I can't tell you and you're going to have to trust me to save your son," Brutus said firmly and crossed his arms, Atticus scowled in frustration, "Think about it, Atty, it's better for Antonius to say nothing. If you tell then the Ministry will need to make major preparations, even if by some incredibly unlikely twist of fate our spies don't know you've told then they will notice the preparations and figure it out. If she knows they're prepared she'll cancel her plans to attack, go after several more countries and it could be a year before we go after England again. That's even longer without your son or if Florian does decide to come after her instead then we have no way of knowing when that is so it'll be harder to plan to save him."

"I hate it when you're right," Atticus grumbled and muttered a few choice curses under his breath, he'd have to do it though. He wasn't like his mother, he had to save his child.

"I knew it!" an unwelcome female voice shrieked and they both spun in surprise to see Syn.

Both Ashains went to draw their wands but she'd already fired two Disarming Charms at each of them before they'd finished turning, their wands were torn from their hands the second they were drawn. Brutus raised his hand out to his wand as if to summon it back to his hand but Syn flicked her wand and an auto-injecting syringe shot out from the rubble to stab Brutus in the arm. He ripped it off and wrenched it away in panic but not before it had already deposited its contents into his flesh, he staggered back and Atticus' heart lurched in fear for his brother.

"Magic Repressing potion to counteract your little wandless tricks," Syn explained, eyes and wand flicking between the both of them as a triumphant smile snuck onto her face, "I knew it, Atty, I always knew you were in league with your brother. I knew you were sneaking out for no good, to meet him and look what I find when I follow you? They laughed, they called me paranoid but dammit, I was right! "

"Syn, please," Atticus pleaded, if Brutus was captured his plans for saving Antonius were ruined and… well, he found himself rather opposed to his brother being taken anyway, "It's not what you think."

"Yes, yes it is!" Syn insisted forcefully, she never had been one to listen to reason and seemed more beyond it then usual now she'd caught them, "And that's Lead Auror Cistro to you! You're both under arrest, you'll both rot in New Azkaban prison for this I swear. Both of you lie down on the ground on your stomachs, hands behind your back to be bound. If you do not comply or struggle in any way then I will very gladly exercise my right as an Auror of the Ministry to use the Unforgivable Curses and deadly force."

"No," Atticus whined hopelessly but she brandished her wand threateningly.

He exchanged a defeated look with Brutus who looked unsteady on his feet anyway before they both started to comply, Atticus' heart screaming in his mind. This was it, this was over. Antonius was doomed without them of course and Cassia, what would happen to Cassia? But what could he- And then he noticed Brutus' wand as he lay down.

When he'd been disarmed, his own wand had flown well away but Brutus' had been thrown near to Atticus himself. But what should he do? Even if he grabbed it and stunned her, there was no way she'd stay quiet. Memory charms could be broken, Aurors were checked regularly now with the paranoid fear of spies and she wouldn't be convinced.

Atticus felt a sickeningly cold feeling sweep through him but he had to, he had to for his son. Without further thought, he lunged for the wand and thanked Ashylos for his incredibly reflexes as he jumped to his feet in one smooth motion before Syn could relax. She turned her wand back to him but he'd already jabbed his own at her, using a spell she couldn't block.

"Avada Kedavra!" Atticus cried and the jet of green burst out, Syn's eyes bulged in surprise. Her shield was shattered and the curse carried on through, striking her in the heart and throwing her corpse back to the ground. She still looked surprised, even in death. He dropped the wand and buried his face in his hands in horror and shock at his own actions, "What have I done?!"

"You did good, Atty," Brutus assured him and heard his brother getting up, a second later feeling a comforting six-fingered hand on his shoulder. He glanced back to his brother and saw the deformed face struggling with surprise and sympathy, "You did what had to be done. And don't worry, I'll take care of this."

"Doesn't make me feel any better," Atticus admitted quietly after a minute and swallowed, "So now will you tell me?"

"A month," Brutus told him with only a hint of hesitance, "If all goes to plan, we come for England in a month."

---

Part 4: Friends, Family and Broomsticks

---

Xerxes found he couldn't stop Carver from going to Hogwarts though, well he supposed he could if he really wanted to but as much as he disliked Maeghan – who for some inexplicable reason now preferred Mary – he'd rather not have to murder the mother of his child just to get the full custody. There was still time, he'd just have to make sure Carver would be unhurt when they went after Hogwarts. He didn't think that would be too much of a problem, in fact he found the main problem was that it impeded his ability to see his son now that he was stuck in that school and only allowed out for holidays.

The plans were rolling on though, the metamorphmagi Headmaster was being worked to be manipulated into their plan before being taken over completely since his condition made it easier to hide possession. It seemed a year of unhappiness though, Ethan had wanted to go to Hogwarts and was gloomy – despite Xerxes calmly explaining his rather justifiable reason – plus Pyrrhus was upset about the Shadows making a deal with his filthy muggle family members to keep a boy hostage for an experiment. Xerxes was somewhat skeptical they'd stick to the guidelines but… well, he'd rather just not think about that horrible stuff.

Davin turned two later that school year and started at the Training Tower, much like Andreas he had to send him back to her at times as if it was a regular school year and she was forever writing to ask how he was and what he was doing. She was so curious. It gave him more free time again now that he didn't have to juggle a baby around, plus he couldn't visit Carver so frequently now. Stephan was a Soul Eater star and was almost of age now, Carver was in Hogwarts and doing mediocre to not be suspicious as Xerxes had told him, Ethan continued to mope, Viola continued to be his perfect little princess, Martha was bright but oddly hesitant, Andreas was more average but upbeat and then Davin was friendly but still a fast learner.

To try make up for the fact Martha and Ethan – he also hoped it would cheer the boy up - were hesitant to do soldier, he decided to put his extra time to good use in trying to teach them Occlumency and Legilimency from an early age. He didn't truly expect them to get it so young but hoped it would help when they were old enough. Ethan was getting to the age where the test was possible but his teachers didn't think he could do it because of his refusal to hurt people, Xerxes tried explaining he just had to do it to pass the test then Xerxes could probably arrange for him to not have to after but no, the boy was stubborn.

He made sure to see Carver over the summer, he was quite intrigued and impressed by how he'd managed to befriend the son of Harry Potter. That year their plan with the Blood Runes to take over the school would be in motion, Xerxes was rather excited that things were gearing up but also nervous and somewhat regretful. If all went to plan, the world would soon be caught up in war and things would change. He hadn't even seen much of the world how it was now, it inspired him to want to try see more of it. Things did not go to plan though, the Shadow Master's plan was thwarted and they were sent into a coma. Xerxes didn't know how long that would last but he had faith it would work out and decided to take the reprieve as an opportunity to see more of the world, spending time in some of the different countries and spicing up his love life with trying to seduce some exotic women. Language mattered little when he could bypass it to dive straight into their minds.

Not all was well though, Pyrrhus knocked up Alzay after she just had a baby with another man because she was a complete slut. Not that that was a bad thing, the fact she was a cold-hearted bitch who was a terrible mother was the bad thing and why he disliked her as a person. She was still hot though and so he agreed to lie about being the father for sex, a favor couldn't hurt either. He didn't think Pyrrhus would be a good father anyway, the man was insane. Ethan continued to refuse to take the test or hurt anyone, it was causing problems with his teaches and Xerxes didn't know what to do about it.

"It's done," Stephan told him one of the days in the summer, leaning in the doorway with his arms folded and a confident look on his face.

"What's done?" Xerxes wondered in confusion.

"I got Ethan to take the test, he passed," Stephan said casually with a smug shrug, "You're welcome."

---

Unfortunately, their conversation had to come to a close as Michael needed to go to the Hospital Wing to rest because of the full moon tomorrow since he was weakened around it, apparation had really taken it out of him. Scorpius couldn't help but think bitterly to himself that at least it was a sign that Michael had made progress. He walked Michael down to make sure his friend was okay, Hugo was already there in a bed close to the door.

"Hey Michael, Scorpius," Hugo greeted them with a weak smile.

Michael inclined his head in acknowledgement but kept his eyes off the younger boy as he headed over to a bed, the furthest one by the window on the opposite side. It was as if he was trying to be as far away from Hugo as possible, he even turned his head away in shame to face away from Hugo. Marigold went over to get him sorted, the smile slowly slid off of Hugo's face and the boy heaved a sigh.

"Hang in there," Scorpius offered awkwardly, attempting a smile to the Weasley.

"Thanks," Hugo muttered.

Scorpius left them to it uncertainly, feeling kind of bad for Hugo. And Michael. And remembering why he had become an animagus in the first place, sure Marigold being there complicated things since he was a Thestral and they weren't exactly little. Michael insisted Marigold stayed awake all night with them though so it wasn't even like he could sneak in, yet another thing for him to fail at. He hated being such a failure.

The rest of his weekend passed unhappily, he was quite shocked though to learn of Cistro's death. Apparently she'd left early that weekend, complaining of a headache and been attacked by Shadows in her home. She'd been killed, straight up Killing Curse. They suspected it meant bad things for the safety of Hogwarts, the papers blew up with speculation over it being precursor to another Shadow attack since she had been the Lead Auror in charge of protecting Hogwarts. Scorpius wasn't glad she'd died but he wasn't sorry he was out of his way, he also was worried if this did mean a threat for Hogwarts. He hadn't forgotten Molly's episode, was it the aftermath of another Hogwarts attack she'd seen? Except this time Hogwarts had lost? He also recalled what she'd said about Martha, he should probably make an effort to talk to the girl.

He didn't know, when did he ever know? He just struggled on blindly against the Shadows without knowing what he was doing or where he was going, failure after failure. He started his week in dull spirits, feeling both dread and relief whenever a class finished because he simultaneously wanted to have nothing and everything to do. Leaving Study of Ancient Runes that Monday was no different, until he passed Maurice in the corridor. The deaf boy was sitting on a random windowsill with his knees hugged to his chest. Scorpius tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, Maurice's oceans turned to him and he sighed defeatedly before putting his remaining hand to his translator necklace.

"What?" Maurice questioned of his him, his tone still biting but not as dripping in it as usual. Scorpius realized he actually didn't know what he'd been going to say.

"Erm… Shouldn't you be in Potions?" Scorpius wondered.

"I stormed out," Maurice admitted and scowled, "I'm sick of all these stupid actions that require two hands, I just got frustrated and stormed out."

"And stopped here?"

"I realized I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing," Maurice told him and sighed once more, he looked rather pensive, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For being mad at you for not telling me about my myriad of half-brothers, I overreacted."

"Oh well, I don't blame you," Scorpius said unsurely, "I probably should have told you. I screwed up. Again."

"I grew up with no one, you know?" Maurice offered, "I grew up alone. I was barely aware I had a family at all, I didn't see them. It was just becoming a soldier, all work. And Pyrrhus… He was my mentor, he cared for me and looked out for me. He was the closest I had to family and now I have all this new family and the first person I ever trusted cut off my hand. It's… It's just a lot, Scorpius, I feel overwhelmed and I shouldn't take it out on you, I shouldn't take it out on anyone. We need to be united now."

"I'm sorry too," Scorpius confirmed and patted him comfortingly on the shoulder, "For not telling you and that you have to go through all this crap."

"Thanks."

---

"He imperised me!" Ethan screamed hysterically, jabbing an accusatory finger at Stephan. His clothes were all filthy and torn, stained with dirt and blood. His red hair was matted with grime and sticking up in every direction, his face stained with tears. In contrast Stephan leaned lazily in the doorway, "He imperised me! He forced me to take the test, he forced me to hurt people, he forced me to kill!"

"Oh please, get over yourself," Stephan scoffed unapologetically, "I got you through the test, you got to pass and be done with it without having to do anything. It's the perfect solution."

"IT IS NOT!"

"Don't be so ungrateful! I saved your ass!"

"Both of you calm down," Xerxes interrupted his eldest sons while Ethan choked on a sob, "Steph, it was great of you to try to help but wrong of you to do it against his will. But the important thing to remember is what's done, we should just try to focus on the positives and try to move past it."

"But he-" they both started to say in unison.

"But nothing!" Xerxes snapped, he didn't like it when his children were fighting, "And that's the end of it."

Xerxes truly did expect it to be, at least now the pressure was off for the test he hoped Ethan would be able to relax now his classes were more lax as well. He went back to using his free time for traveling while the plans were still on hold because of the coma, Asia, America and Europe especially were good for him. It was in Mexico he met the gorgeous Rosangela Castro, he got far too drunk with her as he was trying out the alcoholic beverages of the country. It was a good thing he had been trying to go back to the same locations to score again with the same women or he wouldn't have noticed Rosangela's baby bump upon his return a few months later. Unlike his previous baby mamas, she didn't want him involved in the child's life. Not unless he married her which he had no intention of doing since he didn't want to give up his love life. And so began the frustrating task of changing her mind, throwing money and attention at her to try convince her that he would be a good father.

He should have been paying more attention to the kids he had though as that spring, he was informed of Ethan's suicide attempt. He'd thrown himself off the Training Tower, after surviving he'd tried to kill himself by taking a myriad of potions that shouldn't be mixed from the hospital wing. They'd but him into a sleep while they worked to undo the damage, they didn't know whether or not he'd wake up though. Xerxes sat with him all night and dived into his son's mind as he suspected foul play, it proved to be a rare occasion where he was wrong however as he saw his son's torment and spiraling misery culminating in a desperate desire to die. Xerxes didn't want his son to die.

"Dad?" Ethan croaked weakly as he came to, Xerxes took his hand gently as he felt a flood of relief to hear the fourteen year old's voice.

"Why'd you do it?" Xerxes questioned immediately and Ethan's eyes welled up.

"I don't want to be a soldier or a Soul Eater and since that's all the choice I have in life, I don't want to be in my life anymore."

"I don't have to hurt people or kill them for my job, you can still not hurt people and once the war is over and we win the war will be a better place," Xerxes pointed out seriously, "You don't have to die, Ethan."

"That doesn't make it okay, Dad," Ethan insisted, "Being indirectly responsible is still being responsible."

"No it isn't, that's the dumbest thing I've heard in my life," Xerxes scoffed dismissively, "Ethan you have to get over this, you're my son and I love you and I don't want you to die so you're not allowed to die. Do you understand?"

"I wish you could understand," Ethan sighed as he slipped back into sleep.

---

At least after that the rift with Maurice seemed to have been repaired, the deaf boy was still rather moody, withdrawn and testy but he was talking to Scorpius again at least. Orous had just quietly accepted the news and hadn't held it against him at least. The rest of his week was rather lousy, mostly because that Saturday was the Hufflepuff versus Slytherin Quidditch match so they were booking the pitch solid so Scorpius could practice with his own team less. It made sense they deserved the priority but when it was how Scorpius took his mind off things, it was frustrating. His whole life was frustrating right now really. He did have plenty of NEWT work to do though, now the rest of the class were catching up on nonverbal magic there seemed to be a lot more written work.

He was at least looking forward to the match despite being worried about the scores since to win the cup he'd have to make sure he scored higher than that in his last match. It was a sunny day that Saturday and they headed to the stands kitted out in Hufflepuff colors, dragging Maurice along with them to support his twin even though he wasn't interested in Quidditch. Albus was no longer supporting the house of his ex-girlfriend, instead he'd gone all out in kitting himself out in the black and yellow of Hufflepuff. He did find himself missing Molly though, she liked Quidditch. It didn't help Abby had brought her boyfriend Sequoia Pentakel – who was receiving dark looks from Albus when he wasn't looking - over to sit with them or that Rose was nestled against her increasingly tall boyfriend Corin comfortably.

"Can I sit with you guys?" Roxy asked randomly.

"Err… Sure but don't you have your own friends?" Rose wondered and Roxy took a seat beside Michael, she looked surprisingly dressed up for a Quidditch match.

"I do but they're kind of… studying or sitting with their dates," Roxy explained before pushing her dark hair back behind her ears and turning to Michael, "So you nervous about your apparation test next week?"

"I can't take it because my birthday's not until the last day of August, I have to wait until the start of next year like Latimer did. It'll just be Albus, Abby and Rose," Michael explained while Scorpius gritted his teeth irritably at the reminder of his failure, "Did you get yours?"

"Oh yeah last year, second try. First time I was so nervous I tried the trick of imagining the examiners in their underwear to feel less self-conscious and when I apparated I realized that I'd splinched my skirt so I was just in my underwear, I had to do it a second time and this time I was in such a rush to get away to escape my embarrassment I just did it first time," Roxy blurted out before seeming to regret it as she blushed, turning away awkwardly and her voice dropped drastically in volume, "But um… I… um… I'm sure all five of you will do great."

"Actually it's just four," Scorpius stated bitterly, "I can't apparate."

"Good one, as if you of all people would fail to apparate. Everyone gets it," Roxy laughed while Scorpius felt his face reddening, she stopped laughing and looked shocked, "Wait, you're serious? Scor, I'm so sorry. I'm sure lots of people don't-"

"Please just don't," Scorpius cut her off through gritted teeth, Roxy gave him an apologetic smile and twiddled her thumbs nervously.

"Look its starting!" Corin pointed out of the pitch and started to cheer as Hufflepuff came on.

"WHOO! GO HUFFLEPUFFS!" Albus cried enthusiastically as he jumped up.

"You've certainly changed your tune," Sequoia laughed, "Weren't you all for Slytherin last time?"

"Well Grozda dumped me so Slytherins can go suck it, Sequoia!" Albus snapped at him as he sat back down and folded his arms in a huff while the Captains shook hands, Sequoia looked taken aback, "I'm supporting my cousin and my friend's house."

"Sorry."

They refocused their attention on the game as the Quaffle was released and the game began, Slytherin swiped it first – specifically Grozda – and tore over to try get in that first goal but Vern got in place faster and blocked it. As much as he wanted Hufflepuff to win, Scorpius rather guiltily felt as if Slytherin were more likely to be the victors. He was surprised by how well they were doing, Slytherin did have overall better Chasers who were organized and fast but Vern was on fire. He defended the hoops as if his life depended on it, he fought tenaciously at keeping the Quaffle away.

Slytherin tried to score more often then as they had more possession but they also failed to score more often thanks to Vern as Keeper, the Hufflepuff Chasers and the Slytherin Keeper were both worse off than the opposing team. The Chasers seemed to outdo the Keeper though as they were getting goals in, Grozda set one of the Beaters on helping defend the hoops when it became apparent they were getting more in as the score lay at 20-50 to Hufflepuff in the first half hour. It proved to be a good move though as it stemmed the flow of Hufflepuff goals, by the second half hour it had evened out to 60-60.

The Snitch had been spotted a few times but Orous seemed to have told a Beater to stay on it as Lorcan was good, he was quickly repelled by Bludgers whenever the Slytherin saw it. Whenever Orous saw it, Lorcan wasn't far behind and ended up being accidentally thrown off as a side effect of the same Bludgers driving Lorcan away. Until finally Lorcan dropped into a dive, Orous a second later - looking to have seen it himself rather than just following Lorcan – from his own position. The Hufflepuff Beaters both swung Bludgers on at Lorcan, the Slytherin Beater not focused on helping the Keeper batted one back in his defense but not the second since he wasn't near it.

Lorcan swerved to avoid it and Orous had to duck now it was approaching him when Lorcan moved, almost the exact same thing had happened three times prior. Except this time, Lorcan swung his broom back on track while Orous looked up and still seemed on it. They both shot towards the Snitch, closer and closer. Lorcan was faster but Orous had longer arms and- Orous swiped it out of the air before Lorcan could touch it.

"And Hufflepuff wins! 230-70!" the female commentator cried excitedly as most of the crowd roared in delight, Scorpius and his friends amongst them.

---

Despite what Xerxes had said, Ethan still wanted to die. Nothing he said helped and trying to get him back into the usual Training Tower routine didn't help – in fact it seemed to make worse - either, he was a miserable increasingly unstable wreck determined to die. Xerxes was eventually forced to just have Ethan confined to a room enchanted to death to ensure he'd be alright left alone, Xerxes tried to make sure he wasn't alone though. He made a rule about his kids – those in the Training Tower anyway - having to visit him at least once a day, maybe he could guilt Ethan into wanting to live since he cared for his siblings. The Shadow Master was revived as he'd expected but the bad news kept on coming aside from that, apparently it had been a bad idea to knock up a reporter.

"You're a Shadow, aren't you?" Alayna confronted him that summer when he went to drop off Davin.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Xerxes lied immediately while his mind flooded with panic.

He quickly filtered through her mind and found she had been investigating the revival incident, as part of that she'd learned of Alzay's deaf son. He hadn't exactly been there exactly but he had been in the professor's room, drawn by the same voodoo Specter pull as the Malfoy kid and Alzay's albino son who had been. She'd heard about the blood quill scars and put it together with Davin's description of others using them, she suspected the Shadows after failing to find a legitimate school that did that.

"You work at a school that uses blood quills, it doesn't exist," Alayna insisted, "It's not a real school. It's part of the Shadows plans, isn't it? Corrupt young minds? Davin has told me some disturbing things."

"That doesn't mean it's the Shadows," Xerxes protested, knowing full well it was hopeless. She had no intention of keeping this to herself, she'd have to die and his son would lose a mother.

"I'm not stupid, Xerxes, I'm good at putting things together," Alayna said firmly as she folded her arms, unfortunately he could see her mind and it was made up, "The only reason I haven't gone to the Aurors yet is because you're the father of my child and I wanted to give you a chance to come clean, make a deal with the Aurors first so Davin still has a chance of seeing his Daddy. If you don't, I'm contacting them as soon as you leave and I imagine you'd spend the rest of your life in the same small cell."

"Go ahead," Xerxes breathed before disapparating unhappily.

He passed the word along immediately that she was onto them, the passed the word back to him less than half an hour later that she was dead. They retrieved Davin for him too, his son cried for hours in his arms over his dead mother. Xerxes felt terrible, for Davin, for Ethan but it wasn't his fault things had to be that way. He hadn't felt so low in a long time and all the women in the world couldn't snap him out of it, except for one. He'd have thought ignoring Rosangela due to all that was going on the past few months with his other kids had hindered his chances to meet his child, he only went to see her when he realized the due date had come. She was in hospital and had just had his baby, the child was in a different room though. He was too miserable to think of a convincing lie so he just told her about Ethan's suicide attempt and Davin's mother dying, just keeping out of the specifics.

"You know, Xerxes, I change my mind," Rosangela told him in her broken English, touching his hand comfortingly. Idly he wondered if she could sleep with him so soon after having the baby, "You do clearly have the care of yours children in the heart. I will have allowed for you to be the part of our daughter's life."

"It was a girl?" Xerxes wondered and she smiled, jerking her head to the doorway as a nurse wheeled in a crib carrying a small red haired Latina baby.

"Her name Rocio Carla Castro, you can choose for an extra middle name for her since you are the father of Rocio," Rosangela said as Xerxes happily picked up his new baby girl and cradled her close, he smiled for what felt like the first time in months.

---

Now the game was over, Scorpius could throw himself back into his Quidditch practices. Although now he was more nervous than before, Hufflepuff winning had put them into first place and gave them a shot at the cup. Scorpius would have to beat that to win himself, he was nervous both about failing and being able to as well as about hurting his friends' spirits by beating them. He was glad for Orous and Vern, he really was but… Well, he still wanted to win, he needed a win. He wanted to succeed at something, anything right now since he was failing so completely at everything else in the world except his classes. He was doing well still in his classes as usual.

"Okay," Albus said one of the days when they were in their dormitory, Reuben Tear and Angelo Jordan were sleeping while they finished up an essay for Grant. He rolled off his bed, "There's something I really want to talk to you guys about that I've been wrestling with for a while."

"Please tell me you didn't nap instead of finishing that essay," Scorpius complained at him as Albus came over and sat on his bed so it was easier to speak to him and Michael.

"No, it's not about that," Albus shook his head, glancing briefly at the others as if to make sure they were asleep while Michael turned around over the edge of his own bed to face them, "I think I'm in love with Abby."

"What?"

"A few months ago Vern… suggested that I was so bothered by Pentakel dating Abby is not because he's a complete jackass-"

"He's not."

"-and I'm just looking out for her but because I liked her. Romantically. At first I thought he was nuts but I've been thinking about it, like a lot but the more I think about it… The more I realized he's right. She's my best friend and I'm in love with her. Except she's with Pentakel and is oblivious to the fact that he's a complete jackass-"

"He's not."

"-and doesn't seem likely to leave him anytime soon so… What do I do?!" Albus concluded looking desperate, Scorpius and Michael exchanged a look of surprise while Scorpius' drew a blank on what to say as Albus' emerald eyes darted between them expectantly.

"Well…erm…"

"There's nothing you can do," Michael told him seriously and sighed while Albus looked taken aback.

"But I love her," Albus whined.

"Albus, no offense but you fall in love like that-" Michael stated and snapped his fingers, "-Abby has a good thing going with Sequoia, he's a good guy-"

"No he's not."

"-And she's happy with him and if you really love her then you'll just let her be happy."

"But-"

"But what, Albus?" Michael cut him off, "What's the alternative? You try to sabotage the relationship of the girl you supposedly love which would hurt her? You make her feel awkward by telling her this and drive her further away from you?"

"What? I… I…" Albus stammered out looking upset, "I don't know, I expected more support. When did you get to be such a cynic on love?"

"I don't know, maybe it's because my dad knocked my mum up when they were teenagers then cheated on her then ditched her when she had cancer or maybe it's because my stepdad was an abusive bastard who beat the crap out of my mother."

"You have some serious issues, mate," Albus pointed out worriedly to which Michael shrugged dismissively, "But still, what should I do? How can I just do nothing when I love her and she's with the wrong guy? What if she likes me too?"

"Well she used to," Scorpius admitted and Albus' head turned back to him so fast he thought he swore he heard a snap while Michael scowled, "She liked you last year, she was going to ask you out before you got with Grozda. I don't know how she feels now."

"She got over him that's how," Michael insisted while Albus' eyes lit up with hope, Scorpius wondered if speaking up had been the right thing to do, "It happens. I got over Rose."

"You did not get over Rose," Albus scoffed, "When you get drunk you blabber about her sometimes and ask about her, you don't do that about anyone else."

"That doesn't mean I like-"

"It does but we're not on you so later," Albus stated dismissively before turning to Scorpius with a look of utter desperation, "So about me and Abby? Do you think she could still like me too? How can I do nothing when she might like me back too?! If there's any chance of my soulmate liking me then I should take it, right? She's the One."

"You say that about every girl you have a crush on, you have no right to screw up her relationship for a childish crush," Michael said cynically and Albus turned back to him incredulously. It gave Scorpius a second to try scramble for an answer.

"Mate, seriously you have issues."

"It's true, look at my parents-"

"Michael, not everyone in the world is like your parents!" Albus snapped at him.

"There's a reason teenage relationships aren't taken seriously!" Michael protested determinedly, "Teenagers think like kids in their crushes, the only difference is they're more like adults in their bodies so the consequences are more serious since you can wind up with kids when you're not ready and their kids have crappy lives."

"I repeat: not everyone in the world is like your parents!"

"I erm… I don't think that urm… you should tell her," Scorpius offered awkwardly to try calm things down - especially with the other two still sleeping - and Albus looked back to him with an expression of hurt, he held up his hands defensively, "Not because I'm cynical and stuff but… um… well Abby seems happy with him and you just… just have to wait it out, you know? Like I did with Molly. If you really believe she's your soulmate then she'll wind up with you and break up with Sequoia. Eventually. You just have to wait it out. Even if she does like you then telling her that you like her and screwing up her relationship may make her not like you, Abby's a sweet person and she'd really hate being in the middle of something like this. Does… Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Albus nodded and sighed as he rubbed his forehead unhappily, "So I just have to do nothing."

"You're good at doing nothing," Scorpius tried to joke nervously to lighten the mood but Albus scowled at him anyway, he instead patted him awkwardly on the shoulder, "Cheer up, I'm sure it'll… possibly be… alright… at some point."

"Nice pep talk," Albus quipped sarcastically, "I'm glad to know it might possibly be alright at some point."

"You're welcome."