That evening, Ella cautiously asked, "Why did you skip harvest? Why were you poaching?"

I took a deep breath and answered, "Your second question is easier to answer—I wanted you to try groosling—it is the best damn testing meat you will ever eat, Ella—it literally melts in your mouth. As for the first question, Ella, I was traveling, searching for a place I could call home. I had lost my entire family—I didn't know of your existence. I had already lost the first twelve years of my life so why stick around in a place that would continue taking from me? I had nothing left. I even believed that Casca was dead at that point, even though I knew full well he was alive. I was as broken as you can be and still be alive."

She nodded and I murmured, "All of Panem would—will—support you if you ever face Stepmother, Drizella, and Anastasia again."

Her eyes widened and she asked, "Why?"

"Everyone saw you crying—saw you in pain—don't deny it Ella—you were really hurting—during the interview last night," I explained. "And we've portrayed Stepmother, Anastasia, and Drizella as three selfish and cruel women who care only for themselves and not about their stepdaughters and stepsisters, respectively. That was how many years of pain finally being released?"

"Twelve," she answered.

I hugged her and whispered, "I wonder if I'd found you sooner—sent you to District 12 or Disrrict 13—if you'd be safe."

Casca grabbed my hand and, holding out his other hand to Ella, said, "Ella, I know that Lady Tremaine and her daughters have hurt you. Lockie and I want to help you. We've been hurt too. Lockie is hurting from losing so much of her past and I was nearly killed. Look around—every person, including the Avoxes, here in Victor's Village—who am I kidding? Hell, in almost every Victor's Village—was somehow screwed over by either President Anna Snow or her son, President Coriolanus Snow."

I let out a harsh laugh and finished Casca's statement. "That's why we were so secretive about us being lovers. If Snow had found out, Casca would be dead. To protect us, Thresh and I had to pretend to be lovers! Thankfully, Thresh knew it was only an act and we kept it up until the Second Rebellion when we officially "broke up"—we never really were together. I guess that's the price you pay to become a Victor—you get screwed over! You wouldn't know it—from looking at Seeder or Chaff or Thresh—but Seeder struggles with drug problems and both Chaff and Thresh drink—a lot. Hell, almost every Victor has had a drinking or a drug addiction since their victory—because they want to forget the hell they lived through! I want to forget! The Gamemakers have the physical scars from the Games removed from the Victors—the tributes who survive the Games—and yet they did nothing for the emotional and mental—the psychological—and physiological scars! Almost every Victor—every person in Victor's Village would be a whole lot better off if they were given counseling! That's what I have been fighting for—counseling for the Victors—or some way to get away from the nightmares—the hell created by the Games—other than drugs and alcohol! That's a second reason for the private gym—a way of escape! Nearly every morning, my family would find me crying and screaming about needing to be better while training in the gym! To get me to sleep, they had to give me sleeping syrup or have Thresh come over and comfort me! That's why Casca and I asked Thresh to pretend be my lover—everyone already suspected that Thresh and I were lovers, so run with that story! I'm still struggling with nightmares—from the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games and the Battle of the Capitol! That's what woke me up last night—Rue's death. Casca and Rue were the ones who kept me from drinking or getting high on morphling. And that's why it's best for you—and me—to stay with me here at my house instead at Seeder's or Chaff's or Thresh's, Ella, so you can help me."

We eventually ended up watching the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, to better explain how the Games ended up screwing the Victors up.