Royal Pain
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Sunbow Entertainment. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. Red Witch owns the Misfits.
Chapter 5: Steal of a Lifetime
At the Pit…
Beachhead, a member of G.I. Joe and an Army Ranger, was walking with General Hawk, the base commander, explaining,
"But, Hawk, I need a tank to protect Sergeant Snuggles from Pyro."
Hawk looked at the teddy bear-loving ranger,
"Beachhead, you can't request a tank for that purpose. Besides, Pyro would just burn through the metal of the tank and set you and the bear on fire."
He then added,
"Although, to be honest, seeing you get set on fire would be the highlight of my otherwise disastrous day. Now, put that tank back where it belongs."
The two stepped outside and Beachhead blinked,
"Wait, the tank was right here. I know I parked it right here."
He began scratching his head, and then noticed Sergeant Snuggles on the ground. Quickly, Beachhead screamed,
"Sarge!"
He clutched the bear and yelled,
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GUARDING THE TANK! WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?!"
Hawk blinked,
"You had your bear guarding military property?"
Beachhead put the teddy bear close to his ear and said,
"Sarge said he was overpowered by some crazy blonde girl. She took the tank. But, who could it have been?"
Wavedancer came up to them,
"Uh, Hawk. I just was watching the news and you have to see this for yourself."
In a few minutes, Hawk, Beachhead, as well as several other Misfits and Joes were watching footage of downtown New York City. There, they saw Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, running for his life,
"AAHHH! IT WAS ONLY A LOVE LETTER!"
Crystal, the Inhuman princess, roared,
"COME BACK HERE SO I CAN SQUISH YOU! I LOVE QUICKSILVER AND WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The Human Torch was running fast, but the tank was causing all sorts of destruction as it ran over cars. Crystal then fired the main gun at Johnny. Though the shot missed, it did leave a crater in the middle of the road.
Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, looked at her brother,
"You girlfriend is out of her mind, more so than usual."
Pietro, the mutant Quicksilver, shook his head,
"And, what do you expect me to do about that?"
Hawk smiled,
"Easy. You and Beachhead go get the tank back."
Beachhead looked aghast,
"Are you out of your mind?! Wait, don't answer that!"
Wanda teased,
"Don't worry; Sergeant Snuggles can watch your back."
Althea folded her arms, smirking,
"Yeah."
Both Quicksilver and Beachhead sighed; this was going to be difficult.
Meanwhile…
Pulsar was on the phone,
"Gyrich, I have no idea how Crystal got onto a military base and stole a tank. I called her, but she's not responding. Yes, I'm watching it right now."
Sam Wilson, the teen hero Falcon, and Hercules, the teen god of strength, were laughing hysterically as to the events that transpired with Namor. The former gang member chuckled,
"So, is Carol having a new boyfriend or what?"
Leon grumbled,
"I'm so glad you're enjoying this. That Namor was tough."
He winced, feeling a slight friction burn in his back after being body-slammed by the prince of Atlantis. Hercules smirked,
"A worthy challenge for the son of Zeus! I shall enjoy beating him as we fight!"
Persiana's maniacal laughter cut through the air as she pranced in,
"Guess what? I found a new use for that photo program!"
She handed Carol a picture of the blonde Air Force brat looking like a fish creature, complete with scales and ugly, fish-like eyes. The skin was also green, and had large, inflated breasts. The feral feline giggled,
"I'm thinking about posting it on the net. What do you think, Barbie?!"
Miss Marvel screamed,
"Hairball, you had better not try it!"
The other West Coast Avengers looked at the photo and began laughing, including Leon. The red-eyed teen shook his head, clutching his sides,
"You have to admit, it is kind of funny to see Namor have a thing for you."
Carol pointed a finger at Leon,
"You're lucky I like you so much."
She then turned around, and jumped Persiana,
"You're dead, furball!"
And the chase began, Carol wanting to throttle her teammate and rival into submission. Natasha Romanoff, the super spy Avenger Black Widow, shook her head,
"Should we be concerned that Crystal is running around with a tank, trying to kill Johnny Storm?"
Falcon shrugged,
"I don't see why we should interfere in that. Clearly, it's an internal problem. Besides, what happens if Namor tries something? We need to be ready."
A loud crash was heard and the avian teen shrugged,
"Well, at least most of us should."
Next Chapter:
Namor hatches a plan to ensure he marries Miss Marvel! Insanity Ensues! Stay tuned, fellow readers!