A/N: More baby Avengers = best relaxing time ever!
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or the Avengers or any of the related rights.
"HULK SMASH!"
Clint could hardly believe his eyes. He stayed hidden, curled up under a shirt with a band name and logo on it that looked like the kind of stuff Barney might like, but he had to concentrate to keep his knees from knocking together when he first heard the crashing and then saw green.
But this? This was a whole new level of weird, even considering what else he'd been through that day.
A tiny green ball of rage crashed through the wall of the room Clint was hiding in. (He felt kinda safe in there, because it sort of felt like Steve lived in there. It looked neat and tidy and had some old soldier photographs pinned to the wall, and some of them looked like Steve, except it was probably Steve's dad or grandpa, because it looked like they were really old photographs.) It looked like the green Bruce monster, but much, much smaller.
Probably just a little bit taller than Clint, actually.
The green Bruce monster smashed into the bed, and Clint hurried and crawled out from under it before the whole thing could collapse on him, but now he had to deal with the monster in front of him.
The monster looked at him and rushed for him, shouting the same thing: "HULK SMASH!"
Clint dived out of the way. He was good at that, at least, the hiding and running away thing. Lots of practice. He scampered into the hallway and ran for the next door, but it was locked.
Clint almost panicked, but then the green monster stopped. They both looked at each other from across the hallway, and the green monster looked just as confused as Clint did.
And then the green and gold guy stepped around the corner, waving away the last bits of something glowy on his hand, probably magic. "Sleep," the green and gold guy commanded, and the green monster thing sort of just curled up on its side and closed its eyes. Slowly, but also all at once, the green monster disappeared, and Clint recognized the super curly hair. Bruce was even younger than Clint now!
Great. Who was going to help Clint and the others from getting any younger?
The green and gold guy looked up at Clint and flashed a smile that was way more terrifying than even when he'd picked Clint up by the shirt. "Hello again, little one."
"Stay back," Clint said, because that was pretty much all he had.
"Or what?"
And then the inspiration struck Clint, and he didn't think about it too hard or he wouldn't go through with it. He just raised the little plastic cup over his head like it was a weapon, with one hand on the blue cap. "Or I'll dump this stuff on you, and then you'll be little like the rest of us!"
The green and gold guy stopped. It was just a second's pause, but it was enough to tell Clint that he'd at least scared the guy. "You would not dare. If you inhale much more, you will regress into nothingness."
Clint paused for just a second to prepare a good enough comeback, and then he remembered the one that always worked. "Yeah, but nobody'll miss me," he said. He'd used that one before to get out of trouble, and sometimes the really nice people even gave him a sad kind of hug and offered him ice cream or something and an "oh you poor thing" to boot.
And it definitely worked on the green and gold guy. He paused for a long time, stepping over the sleeping Bruce and slowly inching his way towards Clint, but really carefully, slow enough that Clint could run away if he had to.
"Give me that dust," he said.
"You had a lot of it," Clint pointed out. "Before, I mean. I only took some."
"I used much of my remaining stock on this beast," he said, gesturing down to Bruce. "His transformation was not an easy task."
"Then why do you need this?"
"I intend to finish what I started."
Clint's mind raced. He knew that grownups liked to talk, and bullies especially liked to talk if it meant they were going to get what they wanted, but Clint was smart, even if he was stupid, and he knew better than to stand still while grownups talked. Sometimes they were tricky and distracted you by talking and then before you knew it they were too close.
Clint stumbled back a few steps. "I'll give it to you if you give me something," he said. That was good.
The green and gold man stopped. "You do not get to make demands," he hissed through his teeth. He appeared very suddenly behind Clint, but Clint knew about that trick and dropped to the ground so he couldn't get grabbed, then ran away again. He could hear the green and gold guy chasing him, but he had a plan, and as soon as he round the corner, he dropped into a crouch.
The green and gold guy didn't see Clint until after he'd stumbled over Clint, and even though wow did that hurt, it meant Clint could jump on his back and sit on him, holding the container right over his face, with one hand on the lid. "You have to make Natasha bigger," he said.
The green and gold guy laughed, but Clint didn't see what was so funny. "A bargain for the girl?" He laughed again, but Clint still didn't get the joke. "I see. Love is indeed for children." Still smiling, he said, "Yes, of course, I shall return her to you."
"You'll make her bigger?" Clint asked.
"She shall at least be able to walk again, so you need not concern yourself with carrying her. That was the purpose of your bargain, was it not?"
Clint frowned and didn't like that the green and gold guy seemed like he could read his mind. But he nodded.
The green and gold guy held out his hand, but Clint shook his head. "Natasha first," he said stubbornly.
The green and gold guy sighed. "Do not fret. I will keep my end of the bargain." He waved his hand lazily, and a tiny vial appeared, all blue and glowy and definitely magic. "It would be simpler for me not to have to carry any of you children myself, after all."
Clint narrowed his eyes.
"You can trust me," the green and gold guy said.
At that, Clint laughed out loud.
The guy smiled softly, almost like he hadn't meant to smile. "Yes, I know. It is difficult to believe, but I do keep my word." The smile deepened, and this time it looked like he was smiling on purpose, because his on-purpose smiles were much, much scarier. "As long as it suits me."
Clint clutched the container full of dust closer to his chest, like he could protect it with just his tiny hands alone. But finally, he figured he might as well take a chance, because that Tony guy sure wasn't going to be any help with Natasha, and Steve probably needed to handle Bruce and really Clint just wanted to be done running because he was tired and he was hungry and this had been a long day, so he put the dust in the green and gold guy's hands and climbed off of his back.
"Good boy," the green and gold guy said, like Clint was a dog and not a kid.
Clint narrowed his eyes. "Now you have to do like you promised," he said.
"Of course." And then there was a flash of light, and by the time Clint could see again, the green and gold guy was gone.
Clint sighed. "That was really stupid, Clint," he muttered to himself, because nobody else was around to say it, and it definitely needed saying.